Hate Is Never An Option
by GeorginoschkaVincen
Summary: There was something out there which was even more powerful than all of them together.  The Phoenix Force.  And now they had to try to deal with it. And with all the other problems.   Set during First Class, Erik x Charles
1. Prologue

I´m obsessed with First Class :D Well,this is set during X-Men: First Class .  
>I asked myself what it would be like if the Phoenix Force would have chosen Charles to be its vessel, so...<br>Well, this will be a Erik x Charles story ( because we aaaalll saw that they were more than friends.. ! xDD)  
>Uh,and I´m german,so don´t kill me for any grammar mistakes xD<p>

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><p><em><strong>Prologue<strong>_

Those incredible blue eyes looked up at him " You are back."

It wasn´t a real question,more a statement.

...

And now here they were, together with those kids and the CIA. Erik couldn´t tell why he had decided to stay but maybe it was because of what Charles had said. Whatever, the fact that he had agreed to stay seemed to satisfy Charles.

He had smiled but he hadn´t had much time to say anything else, this CIA agent began to speak to Charles again. They had talked about Cerebro, the thing which McCoy had built.

Charles had agreed to use it. Hah, he was like a child, always optimistic and confident, naive. But at least had the same view as Erik :  
>They would use Cerebro alone, without those CIA humans. It was better this way, it really was.<p>

Erik had been leery, he wasn´t sure if it was a good idea to use a technology that no one had used before. But Charles was dewy-eyed, he had been to excited to be able to use a technology which was able to find other mutants.

This whole thing had been damned from the start, Erik had known it but no one was listening to him anway. That had been fine, at least for him, but he had to admit that he had been worried.

Was worried.

Charles was obsessed, obsessed by the idea to find other mutants, obsessed with Cerebro. Since three days he stayed in there, searching for other mutants, from early in the morning till late at night.

Every day his smile grew ,but he became paler as well. Erik didn´t want to imagine how energy consuming this whole Cerebro thing had to be. Charles, however, was positiv. He grinned like a fool, telling everyone that he was fine.

The humans noticed his actions, they became interested in him. Of course, it was a precious gift to be able to locate every person on earth and of course it only had been a matter of time until the CIA became interested to use it for their own good.

If Charles could use it to locate all people of the world, they asked , If he was also able to locate humans with Cerebro. And,what did he say?

" I´m not quite sure about that. It is much easier to locate mutants . Mutants are clearly visible, humans are a bit blurry and in a shade of grey and white. But I´ll help you, if I can."

He was such a fool.

...

" You shouldn´t agree. " Erik eyed Charles,who put his head to one side , " You nearly passed out last time. You shouldn´t risk your health for them."

They sat in Erik´s room and played chess. Somehow they have become accustomed to playing chess in the evening ,after Charles had finished his searching.

Charles gave him one of his brilliant smiles " Erik,my friend, I know what you mean, but I think I should agree. " his gaze went down to the chessboard , he looked thoughtfully " Maybe I´ll be able to help them.."

" Help them with what?"

Charles raised his gaze again, his thoughtful expression tunred into a warm smile " I honestly don´t know. I just like the idea that mutants and humans could work together. Just think of it ! The world could be a much better place if we would help them to catch criminals!"

Erik couldn´t suppress a wry smile " If you say so, Charles, then it must be right."

Charles sighed and shook his head ," I think I´ll continue to search for other mutants, in the evening I´ll search for their humans."

Erik furrowed his brow and made a move with his knight " But than we wouldn´t be able to play chess. " he looked up and Charles laughed out  
>" Oh,are you worried that I´ll neglect you?"<p>

Erik rolled his eyes but had to smile slightly " Maybe?"

Charles leaned forward until he was almost nose to nose with Erik " Well,don´t worry, I always have time for you." he grinned but leaned back again  
>" Oh my, it´s already this late? I think we have to stop our game for now."<p>

Erik leaned back as well and crossed his arms while he looked at Charles, who stood up " You are already neglecting me ."  
>Charles, who had turned to the door, turned back to Erik " I´m terrible sorry, dear." he grinned and walked up to the door " See you tomorrow,love"<p>

Erik could almost see Charles´s big grin " I love you too, lab rat."

...

Charles agreed.

Erik couldn´t understand why he did this, Charles had enough to do,so why did he choose to help the CIA? So,here they stood, in Cerebro.

Still there were no humans with them, they both had refused to let them in. Just them both,and Hank, of course.

" And you think you´ll be able to locate them?" Hank asked, pushing his glasses upwards " I mean, I never constructed it to search for humans, I don´t know if-" Charles waved of, smiling kindly " I know , Hank. But I´ve used Cerebro for quite some time now, I think I know how it works."

" But," Hank looked as if he wasn´t really convinced " ..if something happens ?"

" Don´t worry, Hank. If something happens then it is my own fault, not yours. Anyway ," he laughed " what should happen? "  
>Hank sighed and scratched the back of his neck , then he shrugged his shoulders and nodded " Okay, but..But you should quit it if you´re not able to find the person,okay?" Charles nodded but somehow Erik had the feeling that he wouldn´t stop. He eyed his friend , who gave him a friendly smile. Erik silently asked himself how a person could be able to smile that much. Charles always seemed happy, or at least in a good mood. Those blue eyes never darkened ,they always were bright and warm. Erik wasn´t sure if he should admire Charles or if he should laugh about him.<p>

Maybe both.

" Okay,please don´t move, right? " they hadn´t even time to answer, Charles already began his searching. They stayed still all the time. Hank looked at the paper while Erik just looked at Charles,who had his eyes closed.

Erik could feel the odd atmosphere, he couldn´t describe it but he felt watched. Charles furrowed his brow and his hand clenched around the iron railing. Erik gave Hank a questioning gaze, but Hank just shrugged his shoulders. They couldn´t talk, not now, because they would distract Charles.

Minutes slowly passed by and still there was nothing. Charles was pale by now, his brow still furrowed and his eyes moving under his lids. It was time to stop but Charles wouldn´t stop. Then, when Erik was about to tell Hank that they should stop, Charles opened his eyes.

" Found him."

Hank quickly looked at the paper and his eyes widened slightly " You´re right, you found him!" Charles grinned from ear to ear  
>" It wasn´t that difficult,just unfamiliar."<p>

Erik somehow had hoped that Charles would stop searching for now, but he didn´t. " We´ll play chess tomorrow." he promised, his blue eyes sparkling .

But they didn´t play chess tomorrow. And they also didn´t play chess the day after tomorrow and the day after that.

The CIA had their eyes on Charles now and Erik grew impatient. He wanted to find Shaw, he wanted to have his revenge ! He didn´t want to stay here with those kids and those CIA humans , he had his plans ! The only person that kept him from going was Charles.

Somehow he wasn´t able to leave the young man,and it confused him. Never in his life had something like this happened to him. He had been alone,always alone,and now he cared about someone he barely knew. Someone that he could consider as friend. It was confusing but he liked the idea of having a friend. But still there was this rage inside of him...And this rage was greater than the desire to have a friend.

He was about to go, alone, but his plans were interrupted by one single person.

Charles.

Again.

This time it was more unintended than intended.

It was Raven who ran towards him, her eyes wide and her voice full of fear and worry " Erik !" she screamed " Erik, you have to help us !"

He stopped and sighed . What was it now? Hopefully they hadn´t destroyed anything again ... " Calm down,Raven. What´s the matter?" Raven grabbed him by the arm, not able to say anything .She dragged him along the corridor ,she almost ran.

" Raven !" Erik said ,again,calm but emphatically " Raven,what´s the matter?" Raven stopped , she was breathing fast and when she turned around he could clearly see the panic in her eyes " It´s Charles !" she said,her voice trembling " It´s..he..Something is the matter with him !"

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><p>:D well, I hope my grammar is okay and...dunno. xD<br>I´ll try to update as soon as possible, but I have another story and holidays are commin´so..^^"  
>see ya ;D<p> 


	2. Chapter 1: The Force

**Chapter 1**

Science. Science was the key to everything. There were so many things out there which had to be studied, so many mysteries that had to be solved. Charles loved science and he loved to fill his brain with as much informations as he could. He loved to study new things, he loved to be able to solve mysteries. There were so many things out there, and one of them were mutants.

Charles had always known that there were more mutants out there. Not only himself. He had been more than happy when he had met Raven in the kitchen of his parental home some years ago.

Now he knew all the others and he had never felt happier in his live. Then there was Erik. Erik was a enigmatic man, full of rage and lost thoughts. Charles liked him a lot, he was a nice man and not as bad as they all thought. He was like..Well...He was like a brother to Charles , a brother that he never had. They didn´t know each other for a long time but Charles already felt like they ..Like they were best friends. He couldn´t describe their bond, but that wasn´t necessary,wasn´t it?

Yes, he was happy. But, he knew that Erik wasn´t happy. He always saw that frown on Erik´s face when Erik thought he wasn´t looking, and always saw the hate in Erik`s gaze. He wished he could help his friend, but he was afraid that he couldn´t.

Love and friendship might be strong, but hate was even stronger.

Charles never believed that rage or hate was an option, but sadly Erik did. Erik´s hate would never fade and Charles knew that. But still he didn´t want to think about that. Maybe everything would be alright again, even if it meant that Shaw had to die. Of course Charles didn´t want anyone to die! He ..Well, he had never killed someone and he never thought that killing was a nice option...

Erik,on the other hand, had killed many people.

He had his reasons, right , but...Was it necessary to kill? Charles couldn´t answer this question because he never had felt like Erik felt now. Charles had never felt hate, rage or the urge to kill. Never. All his life he had lived in the big house of his parents, separated from the world outside.

He knew what lonelyness meant, because he had been alone all the time. His parents had been busy people, he barely had known them... But then Raven came and he wasn´t all alone anymore. His life had changed from then on.

Erik,however, never had friends. Hate was probably the only friend that he had had over the time. But Charles would change that, yes he would ! He would show Erik that he wasn´t alone, that he had friends. Friends who cared about him. But, he had to help Erik. Somehow he felt responsible . Maybe because Erik was his friend?

Well, however, Erik wouldn´t go after Shaw alone, Charles would help him and watch over him. He knew that Erik slowly became impatient, and Charles could understand his friend. That was why he had decided to search for Shaw. And, he had found him. He was in russia now.

Charles could tell Erik that he had found Shaw ,but he didn´t want to. He didn´t want Erik to take the next best flight to russia. It was to soon, they had to prepare themselfs for the battle...

Charles sighed and rubbed his temples , he had an incredible headach but still he refused to stop his search. He would at least search two more mutants, he couldn´t stop now. His mind began to wander around , the world in front of his eyes only a shade of grey ,black and white. He had seen a lot of mutants by now, and he knew their names .

He looked around but couldn´t see a mutant anywhere. Weird, where was he anyway? It looked as if he was on an open field.. He mentally sighed and was about to search somewhere else, when suddenly something took his interest. Something that wasn´t in a shade of grey or white, something that was bright and looked like...a flame? Charles mentally furrowed his brow. That was really weird. He couldn´t feel any human - or mutant mind nearby..

It had to be something supernatural otherwise it wouldn´t appear in such bright colors. Charles hesitated for a moment. Should he try to reach this thing mentally,or should he turn around and search for mutants?

Charles´s intellect told him to turn around and never look back, but his curiosity was stronger.

He slowly reached out and tried to find a mind within the flames. It hit him like a rock against his head. Voices filled his head, voices and sounds and things that he couldn´t understand, voices in different languages,languages that he didn´t even know.

He had the feeling that everything he was,and everything he would be, all this, this Force knew it. That it knew HIM. That it..WAS himself.. He couldn´t differentiate his own soul and the Force, he couldn´t tell anything at the moment, he felt as if he was everything- an mind screamed, he screamed, but he was unheard ,lost in the force and himself.

How he managed to threw himself away from Cerebro?

He couldn´t tell.

How he managed to drag himself back to the CIA-quarters and his own room?

He couldn´t tell.

His mind was blank and full of informations at the same time and he felt so totally weird. He stumbled against the door, into his room, his knees gave away under his weight. He hit the floor but it didn´t hurt, he was too distracted from the voices in his head.

He wasn't aware that he was crying nor that he was screaming. Then, slowly, the world began to fade and his mind opened for the white light and the nice, warm voice in his head..

" Chaaarles !"

...

Raven dragged him into the room and pointed at Charles, who lay at the ground - unmoving and pale as if he was dead already. Erik felt his heartbeat quickened and he dropped down on his knees ,next to Charles. "What happened?" he looked up at Raven, who stared back at him

"I don´t know !" she shrieked and her eyes were full of tears "I...I...I heard him screaming ! I.." she paused and tried to calm herself "I ran into his room and then..then..he lay there and i..I didn´t...I mean, I couldn´t..I.." she trailed off, not able to speak further.

Erik nodded and turned back to Charles , he leaned down , trying to hear Charles breathing, but there was nothing. Erik tried to stay calm and began to search for the pulse , but found non. Now he truly was worried.

"Damn!" he turned back to Raven "Raven, go and try to find someone !Anyone !Try to find Hank, maybe he knows what to do ! Or, try to find a doctor,whatever !"

Raven swallowed hard ,then she nodded hastily and ran out of the room. Erik sighed, running a hand through his hair ,and tried to remember a first aid step .

Air. Of course, Charles needed to breath ! God damn, how could he have been so stupid ! He sat up straight and pushed his hands onto Charles´s chest. Again,and again,again..."God damn, Charles! Breath! Breath , you stupid lab rat !"

He heard a slight crack and he knew that, if he would continue to push his hands with so much force onto Charles´s chest, he would break his ribs. "Damn!" Erik leaned back, his eyes fell upon Charles´s face. Charles´s lips had turned blue by now.

_I can't continue, I'll only break his ribs..But he needs air !_ But there was still something he could , no, had to try...

_Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation._

He cleared his throat and looked down onto the pale face of the young man whom he called his first real and only friend. He couldn´t loose him now. He wouldn´t survive the death of someone who meant something to him...Not again.

So he took a deep breath and leaned down , opened Charles´s mouth and pressed his own lips onto those of Charles...

...He was lost. He couldn't escape ,he didn't know how, he was confused, where was he,who was he, he didn´t know anything.. There was light,everywhere, and he was floating withing this light, he burned, his mind burned,his soul, he tried to scream but couldn´t, he was lost, he was afraid.. And this voice,it spoke to him in so many languages but he couldn´t understand a word, he felt so alone ..

_"God damn, Charles! Breath! Breath , you stupid lab rat !"_

This voice..He knew this voice..It felt so familiar but..who was it? Charles..Was he Charles?

What was the matter? What had happened? He felt this pull..He was pulled away..Far away..He was tired..And again,this voice in his head, so smooth and warm...This voice was the answer to everything..A warm light appeared before him , a flame, a flame with the shape of a bird..

A Phoenix?

This light was the answer,this light was everything, he just had to reach for it..

_"Damn!" _

He reached for the flame, nothing mattered anymore, he needed this flame, it was his soul, his being, it was himself ! His hand touched the flame and soon he was covered in flames, consumed by them. He felt warm, he felt whole, he felt -

Lips on his own lips.

...

Charles´s eyes opened without a warning and a hand grabbed Erik by the collar of his turtleneck pullover. Erik stared into wide eyes. But those eyes weren´t blue. They were red. Red with a pupil which was almost as big as the whole iris.

And than ,all of sudden, he felt as if he was in great pain. His head began to hurt like hell, his mind began to whirl around and he heard voices, they were shouting at him with all their power. He almost felt as if his head was going to explode.

This moment, however,didn´t last long.

It came and was over in mere seconds, which felt like an eternity. And then when he opened his eyes, he couldn´t remember when he had closed them, he looked into those of Charles,which were a bright, brilliant blue now.

Charles looked up at him, and slowly , really slowly, a small smile crossed his slightly blue lips "Erik.." he croaked "Actually... I had a... candlelight dinner for our... first kiss in my mind...Not a moment.. when I´m half dead.."

Erik looked at Charles with disbelieve in his eyes. Slowly he leaned up and shook his head "You..You were half death,or wait, you were dead, and that is what you say after I saved you?"

Charles closed his eyes and laughed softly "Haha..Well..Seems like you kissed me back to live,my dear prince." he opened his eyes again and looked into Erik´s."I always knew that you would save me..someday.." he smiled ,but his eyes closed once again "So...Thank you, I guess.." he mumbled, clearly tired.

Erik rubbed his forehead,his heart still hammering in his chest like never before " Charles, you idiot.." he leaned forward until his forehead touched the forehead of Charles "You can never be serious, can´t you?"

Charles chuckled "No...Because I can be serious when I´m old and bald."

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><p>OMGGG *_* Thank you all for the nice reviews ! I never thought that I would get any !<br>Well,I knew that Erik and Charles are a popular couple( since First Class ^^) but I never tought that..well..That I would get any reviews.  
>So thank you all ! ^^ I´m really happy right now !<br>See ya ;)


	3. Chapter 2: Can you dance ?

**Chapter 2**

He sat at the edge of the bed, his mind full of questions .

What the hell had happened?

His gaze went to Charles, who was asleep and mumbled something about "Tea" and "Really nice view" . Erik smiled slightly, he would love to know what Charles was thinking. But his smile turned into frown again . Something had been wrong with Charles.

Those red eyes hadn´t been the eyes of Charles ...

A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts "Yes?" he asked,with a low voice so Charles wouldn´t wake up.  
>"It´s me.." the door opened and Raven looked into the room, her worried gaze went from Erik to Charles. "Is he alright?" she asked,her voice barely a whisper.<p>

Erik nodded,slowly " Yes." he answered but actually he wasn´t quite sure if it was the truth. He hadn´t told Raven nor the others what he had seen - or felt. Raven was someone who was always worried about Charles, probably because he was like a brother to her. Erik could understand her and so he had decided to keep quiet about what had happened. At least for now...

"Oh,good..." she sighed and Erik could hear the relief in her voice. She still wasn't in her true form and Erik was a bit annoyed about that. She was a beautiful girl but she never showed her true form,her real self. He couldn´t understand why someone would do that, but he couldn't understand a lot what they did. Maybe she just wanted to be hip ? She was a teeanger after all..

"What said the doctor?"

Raven sighed and shrugged her shoulders "He found nothing to be wrong with him. It seems that Charles has only over-reacted or something.." she took a deep breath and shook her head "I told him to be carefull,damn it..." she rubbed her eyes and yawned "Okay then...I think I´ll go to whole thing has made me tired..."she trailed off.

Erik nodded , he would stay here , just to be safe.. Raven smiled slightly, then she closed the door and silence fell over the room.

"Hmm...Not that one...that looks ugly.."Charles turned onto his side and pressed himself against Erik´s body "I would...take the green one.."he mumbled . Erik had to smile .Who would have thought that Charles was talking in his sleep? But maybe it was because of his telepathy? All those thoughts in his head..He had to process them somehow, maybe he did that in his sleep?

"You are full of surprises,aren't you,Charles?" As if to answer him, Charles shifted closer to Erik and mumbled something again,this time about scotch and chess.

_Looks like I won´t be able to leave this bed tonight_, Erik thought with , this wasn´t that bad. Well, not that he wanted to stay here,of course he didn´t. Okay, maybe he did want to stay here,but just because he wanted to watch over Charles. Watch him..Watch him, with his childlike expression on his face...

Erik noticed, that Charles was even smiling when he was asleep. And he also noticed that he looked innocent..almost vulnerable.. Erik suddenly felt the stron urge to protect Charles. Of course this was a stupid thought. Charles was a powerfull mutant and a grown man. He may looked like a child sometimes , and also sometimes acted like one, but he wasn´t a child. _Okay, I´m definitely thinking too much about Charles right now_.

The best would be to go to sleep as well, but that was kinda difficult because Charles clung to him like he was his pillow - or a life-raft . So , Erik decided to lay down next to Charles. Not for long ,of course ! He would wait until Charles would turn around and then he would go. He would take a seat in the armchair next to the bed and then he would sleep-maybe.

Well, this plan didn´t work. Erik became tired and it became difficult to hold his eyes open. With every minute that past he became more tired, and in the end he closed his eyes - of course only for some seconds. And then, Erik Lensherr was asleep.

...

Erik awoke to the unfamiliar feeling of a body next to him. Or,better,on him. First he nearly jerked away and jumped up,but then he realized that it was Charles who was lying next to him. Well,as said, better half on top of him. One of Charles´s legs was placed over the legs of Erik and his arms were around Erik´s chest ,pressing Charles´s body against Erik´s. Charles´s face was pressed into the curve of Erik´s neck and Erik could feel Charles´s soft breathing against his own skin.

And then he felt himself blush. He had never blushed in his adult life before, never ! He slowly turned his head to the side and was now nose to nose with Charles, who was still deeply asleep.

Their lips were only inches apart and suddenly Erik remembered the last night. The night when he had saved Charles´s life with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Okay, he had to think of something else, now !

Quickly he turned his head away from Charles and tried to calm his breathing. There was nothing ,absolutly nothing !, that was worth blushing ! Well,okay, his best and only friend was lying next to him,really close and really cute an..Okay, he was going mad. He had to go away, now, or ..well..or what?

Carefully he freed himself out of Charles´s embrace and sat up. He looked back down on Charles, who still was asleep . At the moment Erik was really glad that Charles wasn´t awake, because he would probably die of embarrassment if Charles would see that he was blushing. He really could imagine Charles big grin.

Erik tried to clear his mind and shook his head . He would go for a walk and then he would eat something,after that he would return and look for Charles..

..."Where the hell IS he?" Erik´s gaze wandered around in the room, trying to find Charles somewhere, but there was no Charles ,at least not in this room."Damn,this idiot !" Erik ran his hand through his hair and tried to calm himself.

Why was his heart hammering like this anyway? Maybe Charles just went to the toilet, or he went down to eat something,or.. Maybe something happened,again? Maybe Charles was lying somewhere and was unconscious? Why the hell did he care anyway ! This was just Charles, god damn!

Erik went up to the corridor and began to look out of the big window. _Everything is alright,calm your breathing..._

" Searching for someone,my friend?" Erik spun around and stared into the smiling face of Charles, who´s eyes sparkled with joy.

"Charles !" Erik groaned "You idiot, were where you?"

Charles chuckled slightly " Well..I just throught it would be nice to take a walk.." he trailed of and rubbed his eyes . Erik shook his head in disbeliefe "The doctor said you should stay in bed for at least another day."

Charles stopped to rub his eyes and blinked "Huh? Why,I feel fine... Well,a bit tired maybe, but..fine." he trailed off and looked at his hands .

Erik just shook his head again " Just go to bed."

Charles laughed but Erik had the feeling that it wasn´t a real laugh " Alright.." he said, his voice almost a whisper. But then he looked up and a mischief grin spread across his face " But only if you join me."

" Chaaarles !"

Charles laughed out , clearly amused " Okay,Okay,my friend. I just thought after our kiss that there maybe would be something-"

"Charles,stop it."

"- more. You know, like touching and love making and-"

"Charles,enough already.."

"Marriage, children-"

"Okay !" Erik almost shouted and Charles´s eyes widened in surprise. " But you´re the mommy."

"What?"

Erik would never forget the face that Charles made ,never. It looked like a mix of shock and embarrassment . It was just too priceless.

...It was already dark outside, but just because it was raining. It was raining the whole damn day ..

They both,Charles and Erik, were in Charles´s room now, Erik with a glass of scotch in his hand, and Charles lying on the bed.  
>" Erik,say, can you dance?"<p>

Erik blinked, a bit confused,and turned around to Charles,who was watching him with interest in his eyes.  
>"What do you mean by that?" Erik asked,slowly.<p>

"Well,just that." Charles shrugged his shoulders and leaned back against the bedframe.

"No. I never learned something like that...I.." Erik stopped ,then he looked into his glass of scotch. There had been no one who would have tought him something like dancing.. "Why do you ask anyway?"

Charles smiled and his blue eyes sparkled again " Dunno, just thought it would be nice to know that. After all I want to know if you are able to perform our bridal waltz."

Erik rolled his eyes but grinned , but his grin quickly faded away. He had never thought about something like..dancing...His life had been hell, there was no time for dancing in hell...There was no time for fun or other things that other people did. Normal people..

" Shall we?" Erik looked up from his glass of scotch and directly into Charles blue eyes.

"Don´t worry,my friend. Everyone should be able to dance,so.." he trailed off, his blue eyes eying him with interest,but also..concern ? Erik looked away,his hand tightened around the glass "I don´t know,Charles. " he said and it sounded weak to his own ears. Why was he making such a fuss about dancing?

"Ahhh, c´mon " Charles took the glass of scotch out of his hand and placed it on the nearest table."It won´t hurt you and I´m sure you´ll have a lot of fun." Erik was about to make a ironic comment but when he turned his head to face Charles he stopped. Charles looked up at him,with this childlike expression and his big,blue eyes and..."Okaaay..." he sighed and nearly rolled his eyes.

Charles grinned and nodded happily " Okay,so..We just need some music.." he looked around but soon notcied that there was no radio or record player in this room. The CIA seemed to have everything, exept for a simple radio.

"Well,okay..Haha..."he rubbed the back of his head and looked down onto the floor. Erik could tell that he was thinking about an option to get music,and after mere seconds Charles looked up again, his head tilted to side "I..Uh..Would you let me into your mind?"

Erik made a face , he wasn´t sure if he wanted to have Charles inside his head right now, but then Charles made this face again and Erik couldn´t say no , "Why?" he asked instead .

"Well,I thought,because we have no musik.." Charles fumbled with his fingers at the hem of his right sleve and to Erik it almost looked as if he was...embarrassed? "I know that my mind isn´t a really good radio,hahah,I don´t even now if I can remeber any song fully, but I just thought..But we don´t have to, if you don´t want to, I could ask for a radio ,maybe Moira has-"

"Charles." Erik laid a hand on Charles shoulder and smiled kindly. Charles stopped, a bit confused and obviously unsure. "I won´t mind. In fact I think it is a really nice idea." Charles´s eyes widened and a slight blush appeared on his cheeks,but it quickly faded again because Charles was to busy with being happy "Great!"

"But are you able to control your powers when we dance?" Erik asked "I mean,you always used your fingers against your temple.."

Charles shrugged his shoulder,then he leaned forward and almost whispered " I just do it because it looks cool." he leaned back and Erik raised one eyebrow at that comment. Charles laughed and waved off "Nah,just a ...It will be a bit difficult to control them ,but don´t worry,I´ll be fine,I guess."

"Actually ,I wasn´t worried about you."

"Thank you,Erik,I love you too."

"I know."

Charles laughed out again and took Erik´s hands "Okay." he said, still smiling "So,just try to listen to the musik , the beat and stuff. I´ll lead you first ,and in the end you can try it as well. Only if you want,of course."

Erik just nodded,slowly, his eyes fixed on Charles face,who was too busy to notice that Erik was staring at him. And then, suddenly, Erik heard music in his head. First a bit low and hardly understandable but second after second it became clearer and louder. It was classic. What else had he expect from Charles?But the music was calm and slowly, Erik liked it...

"I also hear other music." Erik flinched as he remembered that Charles was inside his head- and could read his mind."Sorry, I won´t read it again,I just couldn´t resist to make a comment to your thought."

And then they started to dance. First it was ..well..bad. Erik couldn´t find the right beat and he almost stumbled over his own feet - or over those of Charles. He also stepped onto Charles´s feet several times and he was to stiff. But Charles was patient. He showed Erik how to placed his feet and how he was able to move more relaxed, all while he played the music in their heads.

The thunder roared outside and the rain pattered against the window but Erik didn´t hear anything of that, his mind was to focused on the music- and on Charles.

"One-two-three,stop, one-two-three,to the left..You have to put your arm a bit lower.."

No one ever had been so patient with him,and so gentle. He couldn´t remember the last time when he had felt so..good. Yes, he felt good and he had fun. It was..strange.

Charles´s body was unbelievable near his own body,and he realized that Charles was the first person ,along with his mother,which ever was so close to him. Not only physically but also mentally as well..

He had to admit, it was nice. It felt so good to know that there was someone who wanted to be close to him,who didn´t fear him because of what he was and what he had done..Someone who didn´t want to use him,someone who just wanted to be together with him because he liked him.

In this minutes,hours, when they danced...Erik felt alive again. It maybe wasn´t something special to most of the persons on this world, but for Erik Lensherr it were one of the best few hours in his life.

He would always love to remember them. The faint patter of the rain, the dim lights in the room, the music in his head, Charles ..

"Erik..I think we should..maybe..stop for now." Erik couldn´t tell how long they danced, or tried to dance, but when they finally stopped it was dark outside, and not because of the rain but because it was night already. He looked down onto Charles, who wasn´t looking at him. He looked straight forward, or rather ,through Erik´s chest. The music in Erik´s head slowly died away .

"Charles,is everything alright?" Erik asked and couldn´t suppress his worry. Charles laughed softly and looked up to Erik,a brillant smile on his face "Yes,of course. I...I just need to sit down for a moment."

Erik noticed that Charles looked shockingly pale and his blue eyes were a bit to glassy..Erik mentally slapped himself . Charles had been supposed to rest! He nearly died a day ago and Erik was dancing with him..He was a selfish bastard,he should have seen that-

"Erik,my friend,don´t blame yourself,it was my idea to...to teach you how to dance,not yours. It´s my ..my fault." Charles tried to keep his smile but he was too tired. He dropped against Erik and sighed ,clearly tired. "Sorry.."he mumbled, his hands clutching Erik´s pullover "We´ll...continue tomorrow.."

Charles fell asleep within mere minutes and Erik just stood there,in the dim room,and held him. He could feel Charles´s heartbeat and he almost stopped his breath just to listen to the quiet breathing of his friend. He noticed that Charles´s body was a bit too warm.

_Probably a fever_..Erik pressed his lips together and cursed himself. He should have seen that Charles was tired...He should have seen that he had not yet recovered...

He carefully lifted his friend up and carried him to the bed,where he gently laid him down. Charles wasn´t mumbling anything ,he was just quiet and pale.

Erik sighed and ran his hand through his hair. This feeling was unfamilar. He had never been worried about anyone.. And now,after all these years of sorrow,grief and lonelyness..Now he had found someone who meant something to him. Now,now when he was about to go and kill Shaw...

Life wasn´t fair.

It never was.

And it would never be.

At least not for Erik Lensherr.

* * *

><p>They are a biiig family :3 Charles is the mommy, Erik the daddy,and the others are the kids..<br>Okay,sorry, I´m going crazy xD

Well,thank you sooo damn much for reading this story 3 I´m really glad ,really 3

So,and now: Huh,I won´t be able to upload for..uh..let´s say 3-6 days,because I´ll go on a weekend-trip with my class:)  
>But I´ll try to upload as soon as possible :) !<br>See ya ;)


	4. 3:It all starts with voices in your head

Back again,haha. Sorry that you all had to wait so long (I was forced to go to this trip..It was horrible -) O_o. And thank ya all for all the reviews,alerts and favs :3

Uh,and I don´t know Darwins and Angels real names, but I was searching for them on the Marvel-homepage and I think it is Armondo and Angel. I hope that´s right ._.  
>Uh,and I just realized that it´s Le<span>h<span>nsherr,not Lensherr O_o

Has anyone of you the soundtrack? Which track is your favourite one? I like" Magneto" and " Rage and Serenity" but I "X-Training" is good as well :3

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

He turned to the side,his mind hazy and sleepy ,and tried to escape the rays of the sun,which shone through the window right into his face. He didn´t know how late it was, but it had to be almost midday. Though,he wasn´t realy hungry..

Groggily he lifted his head and looked around. Nothing was different,he was still in his room, or better in the CIA-room that he called his...What had happened last night? Ah,right,they were dancing..A smile crossed Charles´s lips and he pushed himself up. His head ached and he groaned. He almost felt as if he had a hangover..But that was impossible,he hadn´t drunk anything last night.

He rubbed his eyes and swung his legs out of the bed. The sudden movement caused him only more headache and he wished he could just go back to bed. But of course he couldn't go back to bed, the others were waiting for him to tell them what they would do next. Well,now that he thought about it...He wasn´t quite sure what to do...

He stood up and carefully walked some steps. Great,at least he could walk without falling down. He nearly reached the door when exactly this door door nearly slammed into his face and he almost lost his footing.

"Oh,Charles, I´m sorry !" Raven walked up to him and hugged him tightly "I just wanted to look after you,it´s almost two o´clock and I thought that you´re maybe hungry.."she let go of Charles,who rubbed his face and tried to ignore the terrible headache behind his eyes "Hello Raven..I´m fine,thank you. It is just a headache,but everything is fine.."

"So,are you comming down with me,to meet the others?"

Charles opened his mouth,to tell her that he wasn´t in the mood to deal with the others right now,but instead he just said "Alright."  
>It was always the same, he couldn´t say no. Especially not when Raven asked him something.<p>

They silently walked along the small corridor ,down to the kitchten. The kitchen wasn´t big, and not really pretty as well, but what do you expect from a CIA-quarter? They wouldn´t stay for long anyway, just as long as it would take to find some more mutants.

As a telepath, Charles could feel the feeling of others and hear they thoughts. It wasn´t always easy for an telepath to ignore the feelings or thoughts of others. Sometimes his head was so overloaded with the feelings and thoughts of others that he couldn´t tell which were his own feelings, and which weren´t.

It hadn´t happen often because he had stayed his childhood at home ,away from other people. But now he was under people.. When it happened it was horrible.

Then he locked himself into a room, mostly his libary, and tried to think of nothing. It took him hours to clear his mind and to block away the thoughts and feelings of others until he was fully himself again.

Maybe it looked to the others like he was always in control, almost a perfect mutant who knew what he could do , and what he couldn´t.

That,however,wasn´t true.

This day was one of his worst days. He felt like his head was going to explode, he could hear the CIA-agents ,what they said and thought, he could feel Raven´s happiness, he could feel some angry feelings out of the kitchen..

"Hey,is everything okay? You look as if you are in pain.."

He could barely hear her voice through the chatter in his head, she sounded so far away and the voices in his head began to grew even louder.

"Yes ,yes, of course, I..I was just deep on thoughts, I´m sorry."

She nodded,her gaze still a bit gave her one of his brillant smiles, one of these smiles that always worked "Nah,it´s okay ,really."he laid his arm around her shoulders "Now c´mon, let´s met the others. After all I have to tell them that I´m not dead,right?"

His sister laughed but nudged him with her ellbow into the side "Don´t joke around about that,I was really afraid !"

He knew that she had been afraid, not because he was reading her mind,no, he would never do that. He knew it because she was his sister, though not physically but mentally. He loved her,and she loved him,they were a family and that was it.

They reached the kitchen and Charles was about to turn around on his heels and go back to his room. He could her them screaming, yelling at each other and laughing. It was too much for him at the moment but he didn´t want to dissapoint his sister,and he also didn´t want them to wait.

"- and you are Magneto !" Laughter filled the air and Charles heared Erik´s unemotional voice , "Great,really. And I thought you aren´t kids anymore.."

"But,we aren´t! We are superheroes now !Whooho!" ,_full of joy._

"Stop yelling,Sean,my ears!" ,_totally annoyed_.

"No,my name is Banshee now !",_upset_.

"Okay,Banshee,shut up !" ,_still annoyed_.

"I´m Angel, I think that suits me." ,_proud_.

"And,what is my name?" ,_unsure._

"He ,big foot , gimme the plate." ,_jealous._

"Alex,don´t say that,that´s impolite!" ,_upset._

"But it is true !",_upset..._

They all were yelling at each other. Charles maybe would have laughed at the sight of Erik,who was sitting at the end of the table,clearly annoyed, looking as if he was about to kill someone right now, but his headache kept him from doing so.

"Oh,look !" Armondo turned around in his Chair and faced Charles "It´s Professor X !"

The eyes of said Professor X widened in surprise and he nearly choked on his own spit."Excuse me?"

"Yeah,we have decided that you´re named Professor X now." Raven grinned from ear to ear "Suits you,doesn´t it? I´m cool,huh?"

Charles´s gaze went to Erik, who returned the gaze ,his eyebrow slightly raised and his face a cold mask. As always when they were together with the teenagers. "Now I feel old." Charles joked half hearted. He wasn´t in the mood to joke around...

"Well,you are old." Sean said, but hastily added "Older than we,of course !"

Charles sighed and rubbed his forehead with is hand. His headache became unbearable ,"Yeah,I know Sean.."

"Haah,what are we going to do today?" Angel asked and stretched her arms above her head "Are we going to learn something?"

"I don´t know if this is a good idea..." Hank pushed his glasses upwards and raised his forefinger "They said it is going to rain today,and we can´t train here because-"

"O´c´mon big food!" Alex rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair "No one was asking you."

Raven took some steps forward and glared at Alex,who didn´t seem to notice her, or better, he was ignoring her. "You nasty idiot !" she hissed "Don´t be that mean to Hank, I think he is right!"

And the discussion began.

Everyone was screaming ,no one was listening to anyone. Charles groaned in pain and pressed his hand against his forehead,trying to press away the pain . They weren´t only screaming aloud, the also screamed inside his head.

_Stop it_, he thought and tried to calm down the voices in his head,_stop it...Stop it,stop it,stop it_. He repeated the words,again and again,but it didn´t help.

"You are just angry because we like Hank !"

"Oh,yeah,right, I´m totally jealous because you like the big foot,alright." Alex snorted contemptuously and began to rock his chair back- and forwards

"Well,this all is just because no one likes you !" Raven´s eyes glistened with anger and Charles could feel her hatred like it was his own.

"He,Raven,calm down,okay? He just made fun of Hank,it´s nothing serious." Sean tried to calm her down ,but that made her even angrier.  
>"Well,it is !" she spun around to Sean,who tried to shirk away from her gaze.<p>

"Yes,she´s right !" it was Angel, who put her fist in on the table and glared at Alex "Listen to me,blondie. He´s a good guy with a great heart."

Alex gave her a contemptuous smile "Haha,let´s just hope his heart isn´t as big as his feet."

Now they all screamed at each other,it was so horrible loud! And their feelings ! Charles could feel all of their hate,anger,shame and sadness. The feelings hit him like a punch into his face and he held back a groan,which tried to escape his lips. He should have known that it would end like this.

He couldn´t listen to their yells anymore,he couldn´t feel their feelings anymore, he couldn´t because otherwise he would have a breakdown,again, and he didn´t want to break down,not again,not in this kitchen with all those teenagers and Erik and ,and..

_Stop it,stop_...He tried to suppress a scream of pain ._Stop it already, be quiet...Be quiet..._

_They won´t be quiet..Never Charles,they won´t listen to you,don´t you see it? They ignore you, they don´t see you ..,_his inner voice spoke to him,calm and sweet and full of knowledge.

His hand began to grab his hair ,he couldn´t handle the pain anymore.._Right Charles,you can´t handle it right now, they should now that. But they don´t know it,because they don´t want to know it ,right?_

No,no that was not right,they all cared about him, especially his sister, they were just upset.._You know that´s not right..They ignore you..They aren´t listen to you...You have to show them that you are here right now, that you don´t want to hear their screams, that you want them to be quiet.._

He was surprised about his own thoughts. Why was he thinking something like that? But his new inner voice was right. They weren´t listening to him,not in this moment. He had to talk to them, maybe they would stop yelling around?

"Please,calm down.." he said,his voice sounding thin and almost weak against the screams of the others ".. we can talk about this but we don´t have to yell..."

"Don´t say that,Alex !"

"Fuck you man, I don´t care what you all think !"

"That is it,you only think at yourself !"

"Oh,don´t say that,Raven ! Maybe he was a bit mean but he is a good guy !"

"Don´t make me laugh ,Sean, he is an asshole,and you know it !So stop protecting him!"

He pressed his eyes together in pain ,trying to calm his breath "Please,listen.." but they weren´t listening. Only Erik looked at him, a hint of concern in his cold eyes ,but Charles didn´t saw that. His eyes were tightly shut and his brow was furrowed.

He took a deep breath,in and out..._Scream it,scream at them ,they´ll hear you, just scream, show them how angry you are,show them that you are the one who has the control!_

He couldn't scream. They were just teenager, it was normal for them to have a argumentation. Maybe he just should go. They wouldn´t notice it and Erik would watch over them.

But his voice in his head told him to stay.

He was confused and in pain and he didn´t know what to do,all these voices in and outside his head ,and this feelings, it was to much,much too much.."Be quiet." his voice was a bit shaky "Please be quiet and listen to me.."

But it didn´t help..And he begged them inside his head,he begged them to be quiet for just a moment, just one moment..

_Be quiet,please,be quiete,be quiet please,.._

It was too much.

_" SHUT UP,ALL OF YOU!"_

And suddenly the room was quiet. His head was still full of their thoughts,but they were different now. Quieter. He felt their feelings,their were different now too . Worry and..Fear?

Charles opened his eyes slowly and blinked in surprise and confusion. Everyone was looking at him with wide eyes. Had he said it out aloud? But,he had been sure he only had said it inside his head, he hadn´t been mentally linked with them, so why were they looking at him with shock in their eyes and faces pale like the white wall behind them?

His trembling hand fell down to his side and he sighed with a shuddering breath , "I..I´m sorry...I just..I have a headache and I´m a bit..overworked at the moment.."his gaze went down to the floor,and he turned around on his heels. He didn´t face the others when he mumbled " I'm terribly sorry...It won´t happen again.."and walked out of the kitchen. He couldn´t face the others now. He was too tried and confused to do that.

Raven was about to follow her brother,but Erik put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head."No." he said,his voice calm "Stay here. I will talk to him." She opened her mouth,trying to protest , but Erik already was on his way to Charles room.

Charles almost ran. His breath was fast and his head hammert and his eyes hurt and he was confused. He never had screamed at someone . Well, definitely not because he had been angry at someone. He was so surprised by his own action that he didn´t know what to do now.

He opened and closed the door of his room and quickly walked to the window._Calm down,calm down,calm down_..

He pressed his hands against his eyes and took deep,slowly breaths. It had been an accident,just an accident..

_No,it hadn´t been an accident. You had all right to scream at them, to make them listen to you,you know that you didn´t do anything wrong_.

An accident,accident,accident!

Someone opened the door but he didn´t dare to turn around and face the person. It was Erik,he could tell it because he couldn´t feel any fear. Just worry .

"Go away,Erik." he said,his voice tired "Leave me alone,just for the rest of this day.I..I..I have to clear my mind.."

Erik closed the door and approached ,walking slowly and carefully,almost as if he was afraid to frighten him "Something is the matter with you." the voice of his friend was smooth and calm,as always,but this time he could hear his worry. Erik stood now right next to him but Charles refused to look up. He didn´t want anyone to be near him at the moment ! Why couldn´t they understand that!

"I said ,you shall leave me alone !" he replied surly and his hands began to tremble " I only have to clear my mind, I´m fine ! I´m okay, nothing is wrong with me ,nothing !" he nearly jumped when he felt a hand on his own hands ." Look at me."

"No!" he turned his head away.

" I know that it wasn´t your intention to scream at the kids. You´re just tired,right ?" Charles nodded,slowly,and felt like a stubborn child. "See? So,please look at me now,will you?"

Charles sighed and let his hands fall away from his face. First he hesitated but then he looked up at Erik. Erik eyed him with an critical gleam in his green eyes. Charles gazed into those eyes and relized that they looked different now. He remembered that Erik had had greyish green eyes,but now they were almost fully green.

" You know.." he said,his gaze not leaving Erik´s eyes "The eyecolor of some people sometimes changes when their feelings change, or when they are mentally enormous stressed." it was an ridiculous comment and he mentally slapped himself.

"Really?" Erik didn´t laugh about what he had said,he just looked at him with an odd expression in his , now green ,eyes . Charles nodded,slowly, and turned his head away. He couldn´t stare into those eyes anymore..

"Did my eyecolor change?"

"Yes..slightly." he cleared his throat,glad that he had managed to change the subject "I assume it is because of your feelings, because a traumatic change would have changed the eyecolor for ever, but I´ve noticed that your eyes had been grey before I´ve yelled at all of you in the kitchen,so..." he trailed off ,because he sounded like an idiot. Why had he always to talk about mutations and genetic subjects? He almost felt as if he wasn´t able to lead a normal conversation because everything he could think of had to do with mutants and genetic changes...

"And,what is about yours?"

He shook his head, his hand rubbing his forehead "Nothing,my friend. I guess they´ll stay blue forever." Erik made a small noice and Charles turned back to him, his brow furrowed. The sunlight shone through the window but Erik stood in the shadow,so that he was barely seen."Why do you asked?"

"Oh,I was just curios."

Curios? Erik and curios? Charles furrowed his brow even more but he decided not to thing about this topic anymore,because it was utter ridiculous.

"Maybe you should lay down again? You look a bit pale."

Pale wasn´t the right phrase, walking death would fit more. Charles had dark circle under his bright blue eyes and he was almost as pale as a corpse.

"I said I´m fine." Charles sighed but sat down on the edge of the bed. Erik noticed that he was still trembling and that his eyes had this strange glassy look again. "You are not fine, everyone could tell that."

Charles ,who had looked onto the bluish blanket, looked at his own hands now , his blue eyes flashing and his face turning into a angry grimace "I said, I´m fine !" he hissed, his trembling hands now clutching the blanket.

He was angry, because no one was listening to him! He said he was fine,so why couldn´t Erik leave him alone ? Why couldn´t he be alone for just one moment ! He felt like his head was going to explode, he just wanted to clear his mind ,that was all !

"Charles, calm down ."

He felt like he heard Erik´s voice from far away , far far away, and suddenly everything seemed to be far far away and he felt alone..The things in the room began to move,just slightly, barely noticeable, but with every minute it became was like an earthquake, all things began to shake bed, the small wardrobe, the ugly picture at the wall,the green curtains, even Erik.

"Charles, what every you´re doing right now, you should stop it..." the voice of his friend was calm and steady but it made him even angrier  
>" Don´t tell me what to do,Erik !" he snarled,his eyes darting to his friends. He felt like he was watching himself ,he didn´t know what he did or why he did it, he felt so lost .. "Erik.." he whispered the name of his friend, his lips pressed togeher and he bowed his head.<p>

The things stopped moving and the odd, menacing atmosphere vanished slowly as he felt his heartbeat settle down and his anger disappear. The voices in his head began to turn into a dull mumble ,only his own, new inner voice didn´t disappear. It snarled at him.

Erik walked up to him and sat down next to him onto the bed. First he only eyed him, then he layed a hand on his hand and began to speak with a serious voice "I don´t know what had happened , and I don´t force you to tell me what is wrong with you, but you can´t lie to me. I can see it,there is something not right with you. I know it because it remembers me at myself. When I started to loose controll. It is never a good sign."

Charles refused to look at his friend, he still had his head bowed when he answered "It..It never happened like this before.." his voice was soft "I..My head, I have the feeling that I´m not in controll of anything anymore, like..like there is someone talking to me, in my head...Like I don´t have any own thoughts anymore.."he took a deep breath and forced himself to look at Erik, the man who had grown into his best friend "But , I´m sure it will go away soon. I´m..I´m just a bit overworked, and then there was the situation when I passed out..I think, my brain is to overcrowd at the moment, I just need some time to pull myself back together. Nothing serious.." he gave his friend a smile, but this smile didn´t reach his eyes, it was a tired and forced smile.

His eyes didn´t sparkle that much anymore.. They seemed dark and tired, like an overclouded sky. He leaned his head onto Erik´s shoulder, his gaze directed to the window.

The sun was still shining but he didn´t care.

Something happened at the day he´d nearly died. He felt as if something was inside him, something dark ,something that was eating him from the inside and tried to take over his mind.. Maybe he was just paranoid,maybe he had gone completly mad. It wasn´t as if he never had heard any voices in his head..But he had this weird feeling..

"Whatever it is, you know I´ll listen."

A smile crossed Charles´s face, a real smile this time,and for one split second he didn´t feel lonely anymore " Thank you,my friend. But, you have your own problems..I don´t want you to worry about my headache, I´m a telepath, it´s pretty normal to have a breakdown sometimes."

Erik furrowed his brow and opened his mouth, to say something,but decided against it and closed his mouth again.  
>This hadn´t been a normal breakdown.<p>

Charles hadn´t seen himself.

Erik,however,had.

And what he had seen hadn´t been a normal breakdown, not at all..

He was worried, deeply worried, about his only and best friend. He wasn´t a telepath,no, but he could almost feel Charles´s pain ,he could almost sense that there was something wrong with the telepath next to him.

His eyes told him everything. It almost made Erik laugh but it wasn´t funny. Charles had said that the eyecolor of some people change when they change their mood? If he knew how true that statment was..

"Charles, I want you to lie down. I'll tell the kids that you need to rest, they´ll understand that."

Charles sighed and ran a hand through his brown hair. He had to agree, there was no other option,even he could see that now "Okay,alright,my friend..And thank you."

Erik gave him a small smile and nodded,then he stood up ,his gaze directed to the door " Okay,well..Try to sleep, and don´t worry about anything."

Charles laughed softly and gave him a nod " Okay."  
>Erik waited until Charles lay down, he also waited until his friend was asleep,what didn´t take long. Then he stood there,for minutes ,and watched him sleep.<p>

He hoped that he would be alright again. Somehow he knew that it wouldn´t be like before, but he still hoped. Erik had never been someone who believed in hope or dreams, not anymore. It had been a long long time ago when he had last hoped for something,and in the end...In the end his hope had been shattered.

But he wouldn´t let this all be shattered again, never.

He would kill Shaw,and then he would rebuild his soul and dreams, he would start to live again. And ,now that he knew where Shaw was, his goal became reachable. He wouldn´t leave Charles, because Charles was a part of his live now, but he had to leave him for now,so that he could fly to russia and kill Shaw.

Charles wouldn't know anything,he would still be asleep when Erik would return .

Fully alive and free of his rage.

Erik smiled down at the peacefull face of the sleeping man in front of him. The sunlight shone through the big window, letting his hair shine .

" Everything will be alright." he whispered ,knowing that Charles couldn´t hear him "When everything is over, when I´ve killed Shaw, then I´ll help you. We´ll train the kids, we´ll teach them, like you´ve told me. Your dream will become true, and I´ll help you."

He wasn´t alone anymore, he knew that now. It felt good to know that. And he looked forward to be free of his rage. Maybe it was stupid to think that his problems would end if Shaw was dead,but Erik hoped. Yes,he hoped, not only for his own sake, but also for Charles. He had involved Charles, he had made him to a target of Shaw...

But everything would be alright.

Erik Lehnsherr wouldn´t make a further mistake.

Not after he had receive something that was precious to him.

He wouldn't let anyone to hurt his friend, and he knew that Shaw would find a way to hurt him. He had to go now,he had to kill Shaw, alone, because it was his fight,not Charles´s. His hand reached down and stroke a strand of brown hair out of the pale face of his friend, then he leaned back and walked out of the room.

A smile crossed his lips,third time this day, and he walked along the corridor, his hands in his pockets, the silver coin in his left hand. It would end today.

Maybe Erik knew that Shaw was in Russia, but he didn´t know that Shaw wouldn´t be there when he would arrive.

He didn´t know that nothing would be okay again.

Neither for him,nor for Charles.

* * *

><p>The thing with the eye colors is true, but actually no one is sure how it works. But I have those effects .My eyecolor changes when I have strong feelings.<br>Then they become more green, but actually they are green/brown..Haha,and when I was a kid they were only brown..  
>okay, useless comment at the end xD<br>See ya ;D


	5. Chapter 4:Visiting

**Chapter 4**

Glass cracked under the pressure of the brown shoes, the door slammed shut with a loud click. The women tried to back away from the man ,whose stare was cold and full of hate.

"Where is he?" the voice of the man was as cold as his eyes . The blonde women smiled triumphantly , she wouldn´t tell him anything.

Just when she was about to reach for his mind she felt the golden bedframe behind her moving. Mere seconds later she was tied up with the gold metal and a disdainfully hiss escaped her lips " That won´t work." her voice was unemotional but her eyes held a gleam of fear.

Her body began to turn into diamond, brilliant white and pure, and a smile crossed her slightly blue lips . The man in front of her, however, stayed unmoving, his eyes narrowing just a bit. Then he raised his hand, and the bedframe behind her began to squeeze and press her diamond body.

At first she nearly laughed, but when she realized that her diamond began to crack dangerously, she stopped. She coughed and gasped for air,her hands not able to free her throat because they were bound as well.

She would die, her diamond couldn't stand the pressure, it would break, her head would be ripped of her body.

She had to cooperate.

Coughing , she tried to stopp him, but he seemed to ignore her. I_...I know..where Shaw is.. _, she said in his head, nearly fainting_, if you kill me, you won´t...know...it.._

A loud crack could be heard and the steel loosened around her throat . The blonde coughed again and quickly transformed back into her human was close...This man, he was dangerous...

"Tell me."the man crouched down in front of her, his grey eyes almost piercing through her like daggers " Tell me everything."

She knew that she had to tell him everything, otherwise she would die. Yes,maybe she would even die right now but there was an information, a simple information, which could save her.

"He wants a war. Cuba is his target. He wants the russians to cross the line, which will be set from the americans. He wants a war, and in the end he wants to be the leader of the new world." she stopped and the man , Erik Lehnsherr was his name, gazed at her with cold eyes " And-" a cold smile crossed her face "He is not here."

"Then tell me-" the bedframe moved dangerously behind her " -where is he?"

She closed her blue eyes,then opened them again, still smiling "I hope your friends are able to survive his little visit." her words didn´t fail their effect, as expected she could see a hint of fear in those greyish green eyes "Run, Erik,run, or you´ll never see them again." a bigger smile crossed her lips "Your new love, Charles Xavier is his name,right? I doubt that Shaw would leave him unharmed..."she trailed off.

Erik jumped up,his hands clenched into fists. He stormed out of the room,leaving her alone in the destroyed room.

_Damn it, damn ! I´m such an idiot!_

She laughed at those thoughts and grinned .

Yes, Emma Frost was really pleased .

...

Charles was lying in his bed, his gaze directed to the ceiling. His thoughts were his own now, he didn´t hear their voices anymore.  
>It was about ten o´clock in the evening and he was wide awake.<p>

Erik wasn´t here, he couldn´t feel his presence in the house. Maybe he went out ,drinking something..

Charles sat up,rubbing his face and closed his eyes. He almost wanted to go to Cerebro and search for his friend , but he didn´t.

First, Erik could go where he wanted to go, and second, Charles was to exhausted to use Cerebro right now. The only option was to hope that Erik would return...

The thought that Erik could be gone forever made Charles flinch. He opened his eyes and stared into the room, not able to see much because it was already dark outside.

_He's gone, he left you alone, he won't come back. _

Sure he would come back ! He..He was his friend now, they wouldn´t leave each other alone. And Erik needed his help, he needed him to find Shaw. But,what if he had already found Shaw?

_Maybe he´s dead already?And you couldn´t help him, because you were to exhausted..._

Charles grabbed his wavy, brown hair and furrowed his brow . No, no, that couldn´t be, Erik wouldn´t be so stupid !

A loud bang was heard from outside, then another,and another. First he thought it were some of the CIA-agents with their guns, but then he heard screams and loud thuds.

This didn´t sound right to him, not at all, so he quickly stood up and walked to the window. He looked down onto a open terrain ,which was illuminated by lanterns, but he couldn´t see anyone. Maybe this was the problem, that he couldn´t see anyone. He remembered that people here were usually very busy, but now it seemed like no one was here at all.

Suddenly he heard another bang, and something fell down to the ground . He narrowed his eyes and tried to identify what it was, and he nearly screamed in shock when he realized that it was one of the CIA-agents - dead.

Something was going on, and he had the bad feeling that it wasn´t good. Hastily he grabbed his cardigan and yanked the door open. He had to find the others ! He had to find the kids ! God, what if something happens to them? He would never forgive himself,never !

He ran along the dark corridor,quickly pulling on his blue cardigan, his heart hammering in his chest. He never had been this scared. He wasn´t scared about his own life, no, he could protect himself very well, but he was afraid that something would happen to the kids.

His footsteps echoed in the empty building , the lights flickered . _God, please, don´t let it be Shaw, don´t let it be Shaw !_ Suddenly he was very glad that Erik wasn´t here...

He turned around a corner and was blinded by light. He stood in the living room, or what they had called living room, which was now destroyed. The big glass windows were shattered , the table was broken, the lights were flickering.

Raven, Sean , Alex , Hank and Armondo stood with their backs turned to him , their gazes directed to someone who stood outside.  
>Armondo walked forward " Wait, I go with you."<p>

Charles was stunned, suddenly feeling very cold ,and his eyes slowly turned to the person outside. His breath stopped in his thoat.

He didn´t know the man outside,but he could tell who it was.

Shaw. Sebastian Shaw.

Shaw had a strange taste of clothing and a worse taste of headwear . The steel helmet he wore was ridiculous , but Charles didn´t dare to laugh.

This man was dangerous, he could tell it by his gaze and his face.

The face of Shaw looked dark and it had a false kindness , his gaze was cold and emotionless. Somehow this gaze remembered Charles of Erik, when he was lost in thoughts of his past.

Now Charles knew from whom he had this gaze and it made him sick to know that this man in front of him was the cause of Erik´s hate and sorrow...

"Darwin, no!" Raven tried to follow Armondo,tried to stopp him, but Alex stopped her " No, Raven, don´t."

Raven was close to tears and Charles could feel her pain. He had to do something, he couldn´t let Armondo go, not to Shaw !  
>With steady steps he walked next to his sister, the glass of the broken window cracked under his shoes.<p>

Now he could see Angel, who stood next to Shaw, gazing up to him as if he was a god. It almost broke Charles's heart, to know that she was willing to go with the man who had caused so much pain.

Why?

Why would she want to go with this man?

Next to Angel stood another mutant, he was red and looked like the devil himself. He looked bored, almost as if he didn´t care about the whole siuation.

"Charles." his sister had noticed him " Please, do something !" He could she the pleading gleam in her eyes , the fear and sadness.

" Ach,du bist also Charles? Charles Xavier?"

Charles turned his gaze away from his sister´s face and looked at Shaw, who smiled a cold smile " Wie schön dich kennen zu lernen."

Charle's eyes narrowed just slightly "I don´t speak german, I´m sorry."

Shaw laughed out and waved off " Natürlich,wie dumm von mir. Excuse me,I´m to accustomed to speak german. May I introduce myself? Shaw, Sebastian Shaw."

Charles didn´t smile, nor made he another attempt to do anything, he just stood there and glared at Shaw, the man who had destroyed Erik's life.

"Hah, but you may have heard from me? I´m sure Erik told you something about me,didn´t he?" he laughed again , his cold eyes on Charles  
>"I hope he is alright."<p>

" You fucking bastard !" Raven yelled and wanted to throw herself at Shaw, but Alex and Hank stopped her.

"Haha, nicht so unhöflich."

"Shut up, you asshole !" Raven struggled and tried to free herself , but Charles layed a hand on her shoulder  
>" Calm your mind, Raven, rage won´t help us."<p>

Shaw clapped his hands and pointed at Charles " Nice words."

Charles hands clenched into fists but he stayed calm. He wouldn´t give Shaw the chance to see them all in rage and full of hate.

They could talk this out, there was no need for violence..

"Hate is never an option." he said firmly , his bright blue eyes piercing through the ones of Shaw.

Shaw raised on eyebrow and shook his head "If you think so..But, that doesn´t matter now anyway because we'll go now." but then he stopped, a smirk spread across his face " Or, Charles, do you want to join us?"

Charles pressed his lips together " I won´t join a murderer nor do I let the children go with you ! You won´t harm anyone !" with these words he raised his two fingers to his temple and reached for Shaws mind but - there was nothing. It was as if Shaw wasn´t even there ! Charles's eyes widened slightly and his hand dropped to his side.

"Aha, I forgot to mention that your powers are useless against me, telepath." Shaw grinned from ear to ear and tapped with his forefinger against his helmet.

" What a pity,isn't it?" he turned to the red mutant "Azazel , what do you think? Time to go?"

The red mutant named Azazel nodded, and reached for Shaw and Angel, when suddenly Armondo jumped forward "Now !" Alex let go of Raven and threw a bundle of energy towards Shaw. Shaw, who saw that comming, opened his hands and caught the energy in his hands.

"Stupid teenager." he laughed and turned to Armondo, who was held by Azazel " I´ve heard that you can adapt yourself to any life situation." he pressed the energy into Armondo's mouth , an evil smile on his face "Let´s see how you´re going to survive this."

Charles felt as if he was dying, his heart was pounding wildly in his chest and his hands began to tremble, he felt sick. He couldn´t scream, he couldn´t do anything, just stare.

"Darwin, nooo!" Raven cried, tears began to form in her eyes. Hank's eyes were wide in shock , Sean's mouth was open and Alex pressed his hand against his mouth, looking as if he was sick.

For mere minutes, Armondo's form began to change, trying to find a way to survive. But it was to late, his body couldn´t handle the large amount of energy inside him. He began to glow, his body turned into stone and slowly began to crumble. Then, within mere minutes, it was over. The light inside Armondo died away and the only thing which was left of the boy was his half crumbled stone body.

"See,you shouldn´t try to kill me,it's useless." Shaw said, his voice sweet and almost a purr.

Charles couldn't hear the cries of others, he didn't hear what Shaw said. His mind was blank, the world around him toneless.

Armondo was dead.

He was dead, and it was his fault, his fault, his fault!

His fault,because he had done nothing! He had only been a teenager ! He..He shouldn´t have died, not because of such a stupid action !

Charles began to tremble violently, his eyes wandered from Armondo's dead body to Shaw, who smiled triumphantly. Suddenly he felt it, the feeling that he had never felt in his live before.

Hate.

Pure hate.

Hate, sorrow, anger...

The loose things ,which lay around on the ground, began to float up into the air,which began to grow cold. The atmosphere was crackling, almost as if it was charged .The glass splinter floated up around Charles, their sharp endings directed at Shaw, who watched Charles in fastination.

Charles was crying.

He had always been someone who showed his emotions freely,even now.

The white of his eyes had turned black , dark veins appeared under his glowing red eyes and his lips were a shade darker by now. His hair began to swirl around his head like living snakes and he slowly raised one hand, his dull gaze never leaving Shaw's face. The light of the lanterns flickered, the wind was beginning to tug at their clothes and leaves swirled up.

Hate, sorrow, anger,pain...

"Wunderbar, einfach wunderbar !" Shaw grinned like a fool, totally fascinated by Charles " Das ist es, that's it !"

It was almost funny, to see this english ,young man, with his blue cardigan and his cute, innocent face, to see him like this, angry and full of rage.

To see this rare power, this power of death. And those red eyes, those dark lips, this dull stare..

Beautiful!

He had found his new weapon.

Who needed a war between America and Russia if one mutant alone could destroy them all?

This was perfection.

Hate, sorrow, anger,pain,revenge..

Azazel grabbed his head and hissed in pain, also Angel hissed in other mutants could feel it was well, the pressure in their heads, the sheer energy and the whispering voice.

Kill them,all,he had to kill them all...

Raven pressed her hand against her head, trying to stop the terrible pain in her head. Her eyes fell on Sean, who pressed his hand against his nose and mouth. First she couldn´t tell why, but then she noticed the blood which flowed through his fingers, and her heart nearly stopped.

It was Charles.

It was Charles who was about to kill them, it was Charles who was so angry that he didn´t notice his own friends, it was Charles who was about to go on a rampage.

Her brother..Her Charles..

Shaw felt the pressure in his head now as well. He saw this mutant in front of him, his new weapon, but he knew that he couldn´t take him with him now. He needed a plan first.

And when he had his plan, he would come back. Then he would claim this weapon as his own.

"Herr, we have to go now !" it was Azazel who spoke,his eyes tightly shut. He was right, they had to go, or otherwise they would all die.

Shaw grabbed Azazel and Angel, his gaze not leaving the living weapon in front of him.

"We'll meet again" he said,then the three disappeared in a puff of smoke and with a loud bang. Not one second to late.  
>The glass splinter hit the place where Shaw stood mere seconds before, nearly tearing apart the whole lawn.<p>

"Charles !" Raven forced herself to walk up to her brother, which stood like a marble statue,his gaze dull and cold "Please stop it !" her voice was fearfully "Please stop it,please, you'll kill us all,Charles !"

She stumbled forwards, her arms opened and she embraced her brother "Please!" she sobbed, trying to ignore the chaos in her head "Please..."

His mind was blank, he was lost , lost in his own feelings and his own soul,he didn´t know how to escape..  
>Hate, sorrow, anger,pain,revenge,grief, self-hatred.. The feelings inside of him grew and overwhelmed him slowly.<p>

He knew that he was crying, he could feel the tears ..

It was quiet, everything, he could hear nothing, not even his own world in front of him was a dull grey.  
>His powers were out of controll,he saw himself acting as if he was watching someone else, he couldn´t stop himself. And he didn´t want to...<p>

Something inside of him wanted all this, wanted to destroy everything, wanted to kill Shaw. This part inside of him was dark, it was lusting for hate,sadness and blood.

It was lusting for death.

He was afraid of himself ,afraid to lose himself, afraid to become a monster. He couldn´t stop this force, he couldn´t stop himself, he was helpless !

_Erik_, he cried in his mind, not sure why. Maybe because he was the first person he could think of, maybe because he needed him, his friend.. _Oh god, I´m so afraid !Please help me,someone .._

"Charles ! Please stop it !"

_Raven.._

"Please stop it,please, you'll kill us all,Charles !"

_Raven.._

"Please !..Please..."

His sister, his Raven..She was sounding so desperate, he didn´t want her to be desperate.

He needed to free himself, he needed to be with his sister, he couldn´t lose it now, not now, he couldn´t let the force take over his mind, he had to fight, for his sister, for the other teenagers, for..Erik.

Slowly the things began to float back to the ground, the wind abated and the lamps stopped flickering. Charles took a deep breath, his red eyes returned to their normal blue color and the dark veins disappeared.

"Raven.." he breathed , a sad and exhausted smile on his lips.

"Charles ! Oh my god, Charles !" tears streamed down her face and she pressed herself against her brothers chest "Oh god, Charles !Please..Please never do that again !" she sobbed "Oh god..Oh god..Darwin.." Charles put her arms around his sister and began to stroke her hair .  
>He didn´t say anything, he just stared at Armondo's dead body,unable to say. He was speechless. No cheering words, no attempt to comfort anyone..<p>

He didn´t notice the destroyed things around himself, he didn´t saw the horrified faces of the other teenagers, he didn´t notice Moira, who stood at one of the big windows, he didn´t notice the CIA-agents, who watched them from the dark.

He couldn´t remember what had happened, he couldn´t remember how he had used his powers.  
>The only thing that he knew was that Armondo was dead, and it was his fault.<p>

Charles Xavier had never felt so horrible.

His perfect, untouched world began to crumble more and more, and he couldn´t tell how long it would take until it was shattered completly , until he was shattered completely...

It had already begun.

* * *

><p>:3 Thanks for all the reviews, again.I'm always looking forward to read them.<br>Ah,so, some of you have the eye-effect as well? Groovy ;D  
>See ya next time .<p> 


	6. Chapter 5:Not alone

**Chapter 5**

He ran like never before in his life . He ran along the road, through the gate of the CIA-quarters, his heart hammering , he could think of only one person.

Not Shaw.

Charles.

The first thing he saw was the half destroyed building and a lot of people, mostly CIA-agents or ambulance men. His breath hitched and he pressed his lips together. This wasn´t good..

"You!" he grabbed one of the ambulance men and yanked him aside "Tell me, what happened ?"

The man looked as if he was totally shocked , but that was probably because Erik had nearly yanked him off of the ground "Well, an accident. "he stuttered "We don´t really know what had happened, but a large part of the building is destroyed and some agents are dead, but-"

"What about the others !"

The man swallowed hard and sweat began to drip down his brow "Which..others?" he asked, carefully, clearly scared of Erik.

"The others !" Erik snarled , impatiently "The ones who aren´t CIA-agents !"

"Oh..." the man nodded, slowly "Well, I didn´t see anyone of them.."

Erik rolled his eyes and let go of the man, who sighed in relief "What about a man with British accent? Brown,wavy hair, smaller than me, blue cardigan, blue eyes.."

The face of the man lit up and he nodded " Yes, I saw this one. He helped some of the agents who have a trauma. A really nice man, very friendly.." the man trailed off , a smile on his face " He is over there." he pointed to the left side " Behind the car."

_Idiot_, Erik thought and turned up his nose. He didn´t say ' thank you' , he just walked to the place where Charles was supposed to be.

He found the kids instead of Charles. They sat on a small wall, looking as if someone had died.

Raven and Sean looked horrible. Raven's eyes were red , it almost looked like she had cried the whole night over. Sean was pale , his gaze lowered to his shoes. Hank stared straight ahead, right through Erik, who approached them slowly.

Worst of all looked Alex. His lips were pressed together into a thin line, his hands were clenched into fists and it almost looked as if he was about to cry, but forced himself to stay calm.

Once more Erik asked himself what the hell had happened. He couldn't help but notice that two of the kids were missing... He turned to Raven " What happened?"

Raven rubbed her face and turned her head away. Her voice was low as she began to speak "Darwin died. Angel has left us.." she cleared his throat and turned her head to Erik, a strange look in her eyes " You should go to Charles.." she said, her fingers fumbling with her hair.

Erik wasn´t shocked that Darwin was dead, he had expected someone to die. In fact he was glad that it wasn´t Charles who was dead. Maybe that was somewhat selfish and cold hearted, but that was okay , that was just like him.

He also wasn´t surprised that Angel had left with Shaw. He knew Shaw, he could convince people easily.

The teenagers, however, were shocked, and scared. They had never seen someone die in front of their eyes. But there was something else, Erik could feel it, almost as if something was pressing on their mood. Something was in the air, something that had nothing to do with Armondo or Angel.

"Raven." Erik laid a hand on Raven' shoulder. She flinched slightly and continued to fumble with her hair "Was there something else going on?"

Hank, who had stared straight ahead all the time, turned to Erik and opened his mouth, as if to say something, but Raven quickly shook her head "No! Nothing !"

Erik instinctively knew that there was something wrong. She had answered to quickly , as if she was trying to hide something. "Raven.." he said, his voice serious "...I have to know what happened. I have to know everything ."

" Everything?" Alex stood up, his gaze full of anger " You want to know everything? Why don´t you ask 'Professor X' ,heh? I´m sure he can tell you everything in detail !Just leave us alone !"

Something in Alex voice made Erik mentally way Alex said 'Professor X'.. Erik couldn´t quite tell if Alex was just angry or also disappointed, maybe both.

But why would he be angry with Charles?

Charles,the one who was always smiling,always friendly and who couldn´t harm anyone.

Charles, who was probably the most caring person on earth, who tried to love everyone, even if it was impossible.

Charles, who always tried to find an answer for any problem, without violence , just with words.

Charles, the stupid,little lab rat with his annoying kindness and his British accent,his stupid cardigan and his bright ,blue eyes.

_Blue eyes...Not red.._. Erik cringed at that thought. " Raven, say, where is Charles?"

" He's over there." it was Sean who answered, pointing with his finger to a small group of people, mere meters away. Erik immediately recognized Charles, who stood in front of the group and was talking to them.

He left the group of teenagers behind and walked up to Charles, who didn´t notice him first. "- and I´m sure that everything will be alright again. Who ever attacked you, he won´t come back. We´ll leave today, so you won´t be in danger anymore." a brilliant smile crossed his lips as he slowly raised his fingers to his temples "You all won´t remeber anything about us or about anything that happened last night."

The eyes of the agents became somewhat dull but they all smiled and turned away ,going into different directions. Charles sighed and rubbed his temples , and Erik chose to speak "Well done, lab rat." Charles flinched and turned around to him. "Erik !" his blue eyes were wide and Erik could see different emotions in them.

First, relief,then disappointment. "You´re back.."he said,somewhat dully ,his brow began to furrow "Why did you leave, Erik?" he asked, and Erik could hear the pain in his voice " Why did you leave without telling me where you´re going? Why did you go alone, my friend? I told you that I would go with you,that-" he stopped and bit his lower lip, his face turned into a grimace of self-hatred and anguish.

" Charles.." Erik eyed his friend, who turned away and watched the agents "...I heard what happend."

Charles laughed softly , his brown hair shining in the sun "I don´t think so...You didn´t hear all of it.." he said, his voice soft. Erik loved to hear Charles speaking . He loved the softness of his voice and his accent, but this time there was something in Charles voice that Erik couldn´t interpret.

" Then tell me ,what happened.." Eric's voice was calm but firmly . Charles squirmed under his gaze, avoiding it to look at him "No..I think we should leave this topic. Someone died, and that´s it. I think we should start to look into the future..." he trailed off and looked up into Erik´s eyes, a smile on his lips.

"Charles, I can see that something is bothering you.." He couldn´t reach him, something was different...  
>"Nothing is bothering me, my friend. Well, yes, someone died, and it was my fault.." he pressed his lips together, his brow furrowed and a sad gleam appeared in his eyes. However, Charles tried to hide it with his incessant cheerfulness.<p>

"Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault.. " Erik reached for Charles's hand "..it was my." Charles looked away, his gaze directed somewhere to his right side "No. It wasn´t. Yes, you went away on your own, but no, it wasn´t your fault that Armondo died."

"Charles, it's my fault that Shaw-" Charles turned away , his voice low as he spoke "Don´t, Erik. Don´t say that it is your fault that he found us, that he knows us. That may be right, but I don´t care. "he sighed and closed his eyes "Because I´m glad to know you. And I don´t care that he knows us because you are with us." he opened his eyes and gazed at Erik , his blue eyes sparkling "You, my friend, you´ve done nothing wrong. He would have found us anyway."

How could a man be so good?

How could he say that it wasn´t his fault, when it was his fault?

How could Charles say that?

Erik couldn´t understand him, as so often. Charles took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck, a smile on his face "You should go back to the kids. They shouldn´t be alone now, they need someone who cheers them up."

Erik laughed out. To cheer them up? Hell, he wasn´t someone to cheer anyone up, Charles was the one who did it, all the time. So, why should he cheer those kids up? " I know what you´re thinking." Charles smiled up to him " But ,trust me, you can cheer them up. You know the right words, my friend, because you know how it feels to lose someone ..."

Yes, Erik knew how it felt to lose someone, but that didn´t mean that he could cheer up kids. That was totally different.. He couldn´t even cheer up himself, how was he supposed to help those kids?

"You´ll learn it." Charles put his hands into his pockets " You´ll see, it isn´t that difficult to share feelings with others. " Erik stared down at his friend , who just continued to smile at him. "But, Charles, I-"

"Charles? Charles?" Moira ran up to them . Erik could have strangled her, everytime she had to interrupt them, stupid human " Charles. I need your help,some other agents are talking about the evening. They seem to be very upset. I think you should talk witht them, you know, that everything is okay..."

Charles nodded, a smile on his face, and Erik could have slapped him for this fake grin " Of course, Moira." he turned to Erik, who stared at Moira as if he wanted to kill her right now. Well, actually he had many ideas how to do that...He just couldn´t stand her, she was so annoying.

But, maybe he just couldn´t stand her because of the way she looked at Charles. As if she wanted to kiss him all the time. Okay, a lot of pepole looked at Charles like that, but who could blame them? Charles was someone who was loved by everyone. Because of the way he looked at other people, because of the way he talked to them..Just because he was who he was. Almost as if he was the love in person. Erik could imagine him, jumping around and screaming ' Love all over the universe !' with flowers in his hands and his stupid smile on his face...

" Erik? Are you listening to me?"

Erik blinked and was brought out of his thoughts " Sorry, I was in thoughts.." he mumbled, and looked up to the sky. Charles laughed, his blue eyes sparkling with joy , as if to say : I know.

"Please go to the kids. I´ll follow as soon as I have talked to the agents, alright?" He had no time to answer, Moira and Charles already walked to the agents.

Erik stood there for some minutes, just watching the sky. He didn´t want to go the the kids, he didn´t know what to say. But, he had to go to them, at least because Charles had asked him to do it. He sighed and slouched back to the kids, who seemed to be as depressed as before.

First he just stood there and watched them, not knowing what to say , then he cleared his throat " Well.."

The kids looked up to him, their faces blank and their eyes teary. One wrong word and they would hate him.

"I know that you all feel...sad and ..responsible ..but, you aren´t responsible. No one could have known that this would happen, and I´m sure that all of you did what he ,or she, could do." he rubbed his forehead with his and and sighed "Armondo is dead, that´s true, but he won´t be gone forever. As long as you remember him, he will live."

Alex laughed out, his eyes narrowing to slits "What do YOU know !" he hissed "I practically killed him with my powers ! It IS my damn fault !" he bit his lower lips and slumped back onto the wall.

Erik's face became serious and his for a split second there was true compassion in his cold eyes "Because.." he said, his voice calm and warm "...I am the reason why my mother was killed." the eyes of the kids widened and Raven pressed her hand to her mouth "Oh.."

Erik smiled, but it was a cold and sad smile " Yes, I do know how you feel. Maybe I´ve lied, when I said that you aren´t responsible- " he paused "-but I didn´t lie when I said that he lives in your memories. Sure, memories aren´t the real life, they are not as good as a real Armondo, but at least he won´t be gone forever." he fell silent.

"You..You never told us that you want to kill Shaw because of your mother." said Sean carefully. Yes, and actually he had never plant to tell anyone why he wanted to kill Shaw. No one had to know it, especially not those little brats, but...but he felt better now. "How old were you?"

Erik took a deep breath . Did he want to tell them how old he had been? Actually, no. So his answer was " Younger than you. "

Raven's eyes softened " Oh my god...That must have been horrible.."

Yes, it had been horrible. It had been horrible to see his mother die, to see the blood, her blood. It had been horrible to feel this pain inside, it had been horrible to know that it was his fault that she had been shot. It had been the worst day of his life and he wished that Shaw had shot him instead of his mother, who had done nothing wrong. This day was the reason why he hated his own life, and Shaw. He clenched his teeth and tried to calm himself, but the image of his dead mother wouldn´t go away..

_Calm your mind, my friend.._ Erik blinked and his gaze darted to Charles, who stood next to Moira, and was talking. _You´ve done very well. You can be proud._

_Proud?_ Erik thought, _why?_

_You opened your heart to them, even if it was just a little bit. They can understand you now, and you can understand them. That´s how it´s like to have friends..a family. We trust each other and try to understand another. We care for each other when we need another. You see, my friend, love is stronger than hate. I hope you could understand that now._

Erik could almost feel that Charles was smiling and he had to smile in return. _Always trying to spread love, aren´t you?_

Charles chuckled . _Of course. Love all over the universe_.

Erik nearly laughed out loud. _Of course, of course.. So, what are we going to do next? I guess , we can´t stay here?_

_We´ll go somewhere else. Somewhere where we are safe, for now._

_And,where would that be?_

_Let yourself be surprised._

So , Erik let himself be surprised. However, he never would have guessed that it would be the house of Charles's parents.

And, he would have never guessed that Moira would come with them.

Yes, there were a lot things that he would never have guessed...

* * *

><p>Hey yo :) Thanks for all those reviews ,again ! I never got so many before xD<br>So,this chappy is a bit shorter than usual xD Sorry for that, I guess. I hope you like it anyway ;)  
>Well,see ya ;)<p> 


	7. Chapter 6: Memories and a kiss

**Chapter 6**

The Xavier mansion , Charles hadn´t been here for almost 3 years. Raven and he had been in Oxford,and he didn´t like to be here after his mother had died. She had died when he was young, so he never really liked being here.

He loved the house, the garden, his room, the libary... But the atmosphere was always..oppressive. It always remembered him of the old times. Not that he hated the old times, no, but..they weren´t that great, not until Raven came. Maybe it was because he had been alone for so long...

The kids loved the mansion, the were running around there as if they never had been in such a big house. Yes, maybe they really never had been in such a house...Because of them the house was alive now.

Now the house was quiet. Everyone had an own room , they really could be lucky that the mansion had so many guest rooms. Charles stood in the hallway,listening to the quietness of the mansion. He had done that many times when he was young. He wasn´t quite sure why he did it, maybe to calm himself.

He could hear nothing, not even their breathing, it was just quiet. It was nice, to hear nothing but his own breath and his onw heart beat, no voices in his head , no one who wants to talk to him.. It was peacefull. One of those moments where he had to think of nothing else.

He took a deep breath and looked at the dark hallway in fron of himself. The moonlight shone through the big windows and everything seemed to be in a shade of greyish blue and black. He could see the dust, which swirled in the moonlight , and he could see the dark trees outside the window. Autumn was coming. The leaves were already falling..

The wooden floor squeaked slightly under his feet as he walked slowly up to the libary, his most favourite place of the whole mansion.

When he was a kid, he had been there all the time. He loved the smell of old books and the dark wood of the bookshelves. It was calming and familiar. This was why he walked to the libary now, because he wanted to feel something familiar.

He carefully opened the old wooden doors of the libary and walked into the room. Yes, the libary...How many hours had he spent here, when he couldn´t sleep? Every night. Every night he had been here.

Charles never had been someone who could sleep easily, and it became impossible after his mutation showed up. The voices in his head would never leave him alone in his dreams. He was the last one who went to bed, and the first one who left it in the morning.

There were exactly three opportunities for him to sleep well :

A: He was really really exhausted

B: He was totally drunk.

C: Drugs

All three weren´t options that he liked.

Charles walked up to the large desk , which stood at the end of the room , in the middle of two bookshelves and in front of one large window. First he just stood in front of the desk, then he walked around it and sat down in the large armchair.

The light was out, he couldn't see much, but that was okay. He just wanted to sit here. But, he couldn´t help but think back of the old times ..

He was born in New York, though he had lived in England until he was four. Then they moved to Westchester. He had his british accent mostly because he had spent most of his time in Oxford. The few years that he had spent in England ,before they had moved to Westchester, didn´t count.

He still could remember that he had been surprised how big their new home was. First, he had been excited, but soon he just was bored. His parents suddenly hadn´t had any time for him, his mother was busy with her new friends and his father worked all day.

His new ' mother' became Susanne, the new housemaid. He had loved her , she had always been kind and she was the one who had taught him to think like he thought now. Sadly she had to go soon ,because she had her own family. After that, housemaid came and left, Charles couldn´t remember any of them.

When he was six he began to feel neglected. He wanted his parents to be aware of him, to see him, to be proud of their son.

But, what ever he did, it wasn´t enough...

His father always was annoyed of him , his mother wasn´t there. Anyway, his mother was too worried about him. He had always been a bit too pale, a bit too thin, a bit too weak, a bit too ill. That had been the reason why he never had been able to go out.

His mother, who barely saw him these times ,was worried that he would break his bones when he was outside, that he would get ill, that he might die, whatever... His whole childhood he had spent inside this mansion.

_.." Dad, Dad !" a seven year old Charles ran into the room, his bright blue eyes gleaming with pride "Dad, look what I´ve made !"_

_His father, a man who looked as if he was stressed all day , looked up from his papers " I have no time now, Charles, please go back to your room." Charles, however, didn´t go back to his room " But dad, look, I did it for you ."_

_His father rolled his eyes, then he took the paper out of Charles's small hands . He had spent almost two hours to draw that picture. It showed his parents and himself, and their cat, in front of the mansion,all laughing - even the cat._

_"What´s this?" his father asked, his gaze wandering to Charles, who looked up to him with bright eyes " We."_

_"I know that !" his father snarled "I just want to know why you waste your time with such silly stuff like drawing !".._

He would never forget how hurt he had been_.._

After that he had tried several times make his father proud.

_He tried to show him how good he was in playing the piano._

_He showed him his school work , that he had done without the help of any housemaid._

_He tried to run half and hour without collapsing , only to end it with an asthmatic attack._

_He tried everything, but his father only was annoyed of him._

His mother, on the other hand, had tried to be proud of him. Charles could tell that she wasn´t , he could tell that her smile wasn´t real, but at least she had always tried. He knew that she had loved him, she had always tried to show that , but he also knew that she had always wished he was a girl. She had always wanted a girl , a cute, little girl that she could show her many friends.

Oh,though, she often showed him to her friends, as if he was something like a puppet.. They often said he was beautiful, such a sweet child, that he would break the heart of many girls , that he would be famous some day, that he was ...something special.

Something..

Then, when he was nine, it happened. His powers showed themselves.

First he thought it would go away, that he imagined things. But the voices in his head didn´t go away. It took some time until he found out that the voices in his head belonged to the maids.

He wasn´t shocked, just surprised.

He didn´t know if he should tell his mother that he could hear voices in his head. He had been afraid of her reaction. In the end, he had told her.

She had thought he was ill, she had been worried and had called a doctor.

The doctor had thought he was schizophrenic.

And his father? His father had thought he was mad...

Charles had known that he wasn't mad, and somehow he had found a way to avoid being drugged to death. He had ordered the maids to leave him alone. Yes, he had forced them.

Soon he found himself in control of his new powers , and he couldn´t help but love them. It didn´t matter that he wasn´t able to go outside, he could go outside every day if he wanted to. It didn´t matter that he wasn´t loved like he wished he was, he could be loved all the time now.

_He could feel the love of others._

_He could feel their happiness._

_He could live every life that he wanted to live._

He had felt like a god.

And, what do you expect from a nine year old boy? Yes, he had played god.

He had forced his father to listen to him when he played the piano.

He had forced his mother to stay when she was about to leave.

He had forced them to sit together at one table when dinner was ready.

He had forced them to play with him.

He had been loved.

Yes, he had abused his powers, but only because he had wanted a real family. It had worked, but soon he recognized that all this wasn´t real. This wasn't the reality. This was his imagination, his own ,little world.

It isn´t good to force people to do things that you want them to do...even if it only is to have a perfect family. He had realized that.

Soon his parents were busy again, leaving him alone .

His father died in this year.

It was an accident, he couldn´t remember what it had been. It had something to do with his work. He could still remember the tear-stained face of his mother and her utterly sad expression. In that moment he thought she would never laugh again.. But she did. In the same year she found a new lover, who soon became her husband. Charles never had liked him, he was a rude man, who had loved his mother just because of the money and the mansion.

Then, his mother died.

He was eleven.

He may felt like a god, but even he couldn't bring his mother back. And that was the point when he began to realize that nothing would last forever. But, that also was the time when he had decided to live each day as if it was his last. Because, technically, it could always happen to be his last. He might be powerfull, he might be different, but he was no god. In this point he was just a human.

He wasn´t able to bring dead people back to life, and he himself wouldn´t live forever.

They would die, eventually, and the only thing he could do was to hope that his beloved wouldn´t die before him. But, how was he able to protect them when he wasn´t in control of himself anymore? What if they died, because of him,again?

He hadn´t been able to save his mother when she was hit by the car, he wasn´t able to protect Armondo when Shaw attacked them...And now he wasn't able to protect himself from himself.

_You will never be able to protect anyone, Charles.., _the voice inside his head purred. Why does it sound like his own? _You are weak, you always have been weak, right? But don´t worry, I can help you, I can make you strong...Just open your eyes and give me your hand... Charles, we will be inseparable...and invincible. We will be everything._

Charles pressed his eyes together, his head began to hurt. He didn´t want to be perfect.. He didn´t want to be invincible, but neither did he want to be weak..

_Just let go, Charles, I can help you, I can take away the pain ..., the voice soft and warm,almost friendly, but Charles knew that it wasn´t._

The force behind this voice was evil and dark..

_You want to help Erik, right?, the voice purred , I can help you to help him. I can make you strong. Kill Shaw for Erik, free him of his burden , free him off of his fate..._

_Free Erik_ ...Free Erik by killing Shaw? No, he wasn't a murderer, he didn´t want to kill anyone. _The key lies in words, not in blood. Death will lead to nothing_. _The hate will not vanish. It is like a virus. Hate is causing only more hate. It leads to nothing. Because, in the end, you´ll be alone with your hatred_... He had told Erik the same, after they had left the CIA.

_What stupid thoughts, my friend, don´t you see that it is wrong? Your option is wrong, Charles, you don´t want to hurt anyone ,but it won´t help. You may have this option, the others, however, haven´t. You´re alone, Charles, alone with your thoughts and your naive viewpoint and your childish are dewy-eyed, _the voice was mocking , but then it became soft and warm again ..._and_ y_ou're so alone...But I'll help you, with me you won´t be alone anymore,never.._

He could see the flame again, in front of his inner eye. _Come to me, take my power, become one with me. _The flame began to form into himself and reached with a hand for him.

It was already a part of his soul, this force.. If he would reach for it, if he would take the hand, then he would lose himself, forever. Charles was aware of that.

" Charles?" the voice was questioningly ,and for a split second Charles feared that this someone could have seen that he was lost in dark thoughts.

Charles's eyes flew open , scanning the room in front of him. It was still dark, but now there stood a figure in the room. "Erik.." he smiled, his eyes reflecting the dim moonlight like the eyes of a cat " What are you doing here so late at night ?"

Erik approached him, chuckling slightly "I could ask you the same question." Charles laughed and rubbed his aching head " Well, I never was someone who sleeps at night."

" But, that´s not good. Everyone has to sleep." Erik leaned himself with one hand onto the table "Or, do you want to play a bit chess?"

Charles's blue eyes brightened " Chess is always an option."

Erik chuckled, again, and nodded " I thought so... But what about a bit light? I´m a mutant, not a cat.."

"No, my friend, you are a shark."

Erik blinked " Excuse me?"

Now it was Charles's turn to chuckle " Yes, you remind me of a shark sometimes, especially when you´re grinning."

Erik rolled his eyes " Of course. First Magneto, now a shark.. Why not Sharkneto ?"

First Charles just looked at him, then ,suddenly, he began to laugh out " Oh my god,you´ve just made my day, Erik !"

And that was true.

They played chess, in the dim light of one lamp, and were drinking Scotch. Charles tried to forget the memories he had had about his past, and it was easy. He could forget them very well with chess, Scotch, and Erik by his side.

They soon were slightly drunk. Charles had won the match, of course. He was glad that Erik had come to look for him ,altough he wasn´t quite sure how he had known that he was in the libary. Anyway, he he was glad that Erik was here right now. Now he didn´t feel alone anymore. The voice in his head could say what it wanted, he wasn´t alone.

"It is late." Erik let his gaze wander to the clock "I guess , we should go to bed." Charles chuckled , and nodded slightly. He wasn´t tired at all. " You´re right." he stood up and swayed slightly " Huh, to much Scotch today."

Erik grinned, reminding Charles once again of a shark " Aww, shame on you, Charles." Charles grinned back, ignoring the mocking voice in his head, and sighed " Oh, I´m a bad teacher, I guess."

"Nah, you´re only the bad mommy, remember?"

Charles sighed again, now dramatically " Erik, don´t say something like this. I´m not a mommy."

Erik chuckled " Oh,sure you are. You´ll see, the next time someone has birthday you´ll bake a cake."

Charles rolled his eyes, but smiled " Sure,only you won´t get one." he stuck out his tongue and grinned.

Now it was Erik´s turn to sigh dramatically " Sure...But.." he looked at Charles, his cold eyes gleaming in the dark " What about a god night kiss, mommy?" Charles tilted his head to one side, eying Erik as if he couldn´t decide what to do "Hmmm...Only if you promise to be a good daddy."

Maybe they were a bit too drunk, maybe they just made fun of each other, maybe it was real, Charles couldn´t tell. The only thing he could tell was, that Erik had a strange look in his eyes, and he was sure he had the same look in his eyes.

So he leaned down to Erik, who was still sitting in the armchair, and kissed him. It was barely a kiss, more a breath of a kiss, their lips barely touched. But still... Still it felt nice.

He had always known that they had a bond. He had known it from the first moment he saw Erik , when he had touched his mind. Maybe they were different, but also the same. It was weird, and he couldn´t tell it with words, they just seemed to belong to each other. If they were friends or maybe even lover, it didn´t matter. No,as long as they were together...

It was Erik who deepened the kiss, just slightly, not much. Charles, however, didn´t mind. In fact he welcomed it. It was weird, and he really couldn´t tell what was going on, but that was okay. At least for now.

He hesitantly raised his hand and laid it on Erik's shoulder, his other hand went to Erik's cheek. This moment didn´t last long, but for them both it was an eternity. It was Charles who broke the kiss, slightly panting "Uh..." he mumbled and Erik laughed softly , both a bit embarrassed how it seemed "That, was a good good night kiss."

Charles grinned sheepishly and leaned back ,while trying to smooth his shirt with his hands " Yes, well.. I have to go now. To bed. My bed, I mean, I have to sleep now." Erik grinned and nodded " Okay then, see you tomorrow."

Charles waved, then he turned around and walked out of the libary, his thoughts somewhere else. He almost ran into a bookshelf. He was confused , but everyone would have been confused, right?

He just kissed the man that he called his best friend. It didn´t matter to him that Erik was a man, for him love was love, the gender didn´t matter,but...This feeling...

He should go to sleep now, tomorrow he would see. Maybe this was just fun, yes, of course...No, it wasn´t.

Charles sighed and opened the door of his room. He would see what tomorrow would bring.

* * *

><p>Sharkneto,Orangneto, Interneto...Just put a neto at the end of every word, you´ll see, it´ll sound a lot cooler! xD<br>I don´t know everything of Charles's past, but I do know that his father died when he was young and his mother too :x  
>So, thanks again for all the favs, alerts and reviews ! I love you guys, you can´t imagine how much ;D<br>I have holidays now ,whuuu :)  
>So,see ya, guys ;)<p> 


	8. Chapter 7: Powers

**Chapter 7**

The training went well.

Charles had always known that the kids had a great potential, but it was even greater than he had thought. You could say, really groovy.

He was so busy with being proud of them, that he forgot about his own powers. Yes, he may forgot about his powers, but not about the kiss.

Well, actually, it wasn´t a big deal. It had been a kiss, nothing special...Okay, now you could say ' Wow, yeah, it´s really normal to kiss your best friend ' , but.. Well, it was difficult. Of course, Erik was his best friend, but now he wasn´t quite sure if he felt more for Erik , or not. He felt like a teenager who had a crush, and he hadn´t felt like that since...well...since his teenage days.

He no longer knew how he should behave in the presence of his friend. They both had decided to act as if nothing had happened, but Charles could tell that neither of them was able to forget the kiss. They should talk about it. The next chess match would be this evening, so maybe they could talk about it..

"Charles, are you listening to me?"

Charles blinked and placed the spoon back down on to the countertop, next to the other dishes "Sorry, Raven honey, I was in thoughts."

His sister grinned and placed the plate in to the cupboard " Hopefully in your own." Charles grinned back and waved off, the kitchen towel in his hand "Of course, what are you expecting from me, hmh?"

Raven laughed out and shook her head "Oh, so, what is so important ?" Charles took another spoon and began to dry it with the towel "Nothing." he said, cheerfully " I thought about us. About the training, you know.." he trailed off, his gaze on the spoon.

Raven shook her head, again, and placed another plate in to the cupboard " Liar." she said, with a smile on her face " I can tell that you've been thinking about something else. Or, should I say..." she grinned "Someone else?"

Charles rolled his eyes and placed the spoon to the other spoons " Raven, that´s not true.."

"Ohhh,hohoho, sure it is !" she teased "You have this absent tone in your voice. That special one, which tells me that you're thinking about someone." Oh great, who was the telepath here?

"Raven.." he sighed, not sure what to say "I´m really busy and-" "It is Moira!"

Charles nearly choked " Excuse me?"

Raven grinned from ear to ear "You´re thinking about her." Oh, great, really great. Why would he think of Moira? She was the last person he would think of. Not that he didn´t like her, just.. "No." he answered, his voice calm but cheerfull " I´m not thinking about her."

Raven furrowed her brow and placed her hands on her hips "Hmmm, okay, let´s see..." she trailed off. Charles could almost see how her brain was working to find an answer "Erik,maybe?"

Charles turned his gaze away from his sister, back to the dishes in front of him "No." he said, a bit to cheerfully. " Ha!" Raven clapped her hands and grinned , reminding Charles of Erik's shark-like grin. "I knew it ! Oh my god, Sean owes me five dollar."

"Raven!" Charles glared at his sister, who seemed more than satisfied " What are you talking about? And how many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn´t make bets?"

Raven, however, chuckled " Oh Charles, I always knew you both belong together ! " Charles grabbed the next best object, what happened to be a fork, and threw it at Raven, who easily dodged the flying object.

" Hahaha, Erik and Charles, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g -" she sang, chuckling all the time. Charles rolled his eyes and continued to dry the dishes. She would stop the teasing, at least as soon as she realized that it was pointless. As if he would love Erik, haha. Yeah...But, what if it was true?

"Okay, then.." she chuckled "I'll leave you and your...thoughts...alone." she giggled and went out of the kitchen, humming the kissing song. Charles sighed and stopped drying the dishes. He threw the towel on the counter and sat down on to the next chair.

It was a sunny day, though it was a bit windy. Charles loved the sun, but he was no supporter of hot weather. He liked snow, and the winter. But his favourite season was the autumn. The golden leaves fascinated him again and again.

"Oh boy.." he rubbed his face and watched the birds in the yard, his fingers playing with the fork, the one which he had thrown towards Raven. His eyes went to the fork in his hand, and he watched it absently.

He didn´t realize that the fork was floating until it met the table with a soft thud. He blinked, somewhat confused. The fork had been floating in the air, he had seen that, but...Erik wasn´t near by, so.. This was ridiculous ! He was a telepath since his ninth birthday, why should he develop telekinetic powers now?

He furrowed his brow, his eyes on the fork. This had to be because of the force.. Should he try to use this power, or was he about to lose control? Curiosity was stronger than the fear of loosing control, and so Charles eyed the fork, trying to move it again.

First, there was nothing. He couldn't feel any power inside him, nor did the fork move. So he tried to calm himself, his eyes on the fork. He tried to think of it, he tried to think of the fork, floating. He tried to feel it, he tried to feel the power.

Then, he felt it. There was a slight tingling in every cell of his body, mostly in his hands. Hesitantly he reached for the fork , his fingers mere inches away from it.

Then, he felt it, he felt the fork ! He began to pull at it , with his invisible powers, and then, suddenly, it moved ! It really moved !

Charles jumped up from his chair, his blue eyes glistening with joy. Suddenly there were so many more things that he could do ! He was a little boy again, eager to learn more about his new powers, to test them. He walked out of the kitchen,no, he almost ran, a grin on his face...

..."Damn it !" again , he fell to the ground. Just several inches above the ground, that was all he was able to do for now. But that wasn´t enough, no ! He would try it again.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, his attention only on himself and the powers within himself. _Imagine, your body is light. Imagine you would be able to fly. Imagine that your powers can lift you up from the ground, like the fork..._

There he stood, Charles Francis Xavier, on the small wall above the lawn, near the pond, his eyes tightly shut and his face with a stressed expression. He would do it, he could lift himself up from the ground, he would be able to fly. A grin spread across his lips and he directed his face to the sky, his eyes still closed.

_Calm your breath, focus on your body and your power, take a deep breath .._He took a deep breath and spread his arms to the side, his gaze still directed to the sky.

Then he felt this tingling again, it began to spread in his body, warm and unfamiliar. First it was only a slight tingling , but soon it was a steady pulse. It was a weird feeling, unfamilar, but not bad. Not dark..

Okay, now he had to focus on his body. _I´m light, I´m like a feather, my powers can pull me upwards, they are able to let me float, like the fork..._

Then, suddenly, he felt a slight pull and an odd sensation. He could feel that his body began to move, but he wasn´t moving anything. It was as if his body began to move on his own, to float on his own. His new powers began to lift him upwards. He could feel it, but yet he didn´t dare to open his eyes. He had to focus on his powers, he would distract himself if he opened his eyes now.

It was an amazing feeling, to know that he was floating, that he was able to let himself float, and he couldn´t wait to open his eyes, but he had to focus..

His feet begin to leave the wall, he was floating in the air now, it was so exciting! His heart skipped a beat and his breath quickened slightly. Okay, he had to stay calm, he had to focus, everything was alright as long as no one -

Oh no, he already could feel that someone was approaching him. And, oh no, of all people here, it had to be him! " Charles, what the hell are you- " Erik . He lost it now, his focus.

He opened his eyes,only to see the water from the pond floating in the air like himself. Then, suddenly, he lost the feeling for his powers, and with that his ability to hold himself in the air.

He was in a shock like state. He could feel himself falling, and he also could feel the wall, which he hit hard, but he felt no pain. The water splashed back into the pond, and he nearly fell into exact the same pond, if Erik hadn´t saved him with his powers. Okay, it wasn´t his best experience to be saved like this, because it really hurts to stop from an abrupt fall, but at least he didn´t hit the ground. Now he was floating in the air,again, this time because of the watch of his left wrist.

"My god, Charles, you idiot ! Are you alright?" Erik walked up to the wall and looked down , his eyes met those of Charles, who was floating mere inches above the ground.

"Uh...Yeah." he mumbled and felt himself blush. That, was stupid. Erik sighed and lifted Charles up with his powers , back on to the wall. Charles opened his mouth, to say something useful , but Erik was the one who spoke first "Charles,.." he said, his voice serious, and his eyes narrowed to slits "What have you done ?"

Charles eyes his friend, who had this weird look in his eyes, the look that Charles couldn´t identify "I.." he cleared his throat and jumped down from the wall, next to Erik. Why was he suddenly so shy? He had nothing to be ashamed of, he only had tried to use his new powers, that was all.. "I tried something." he said, his voice objectively.

"I saw that." Erik sighed and Charles had the feeling that something was bothering his friend "What´s the matter?" he asked, worried "Is something the matter with you? The kids , are they bothering you? Shall I talk to them? I can do that if you wa-"

"Charles." Erik´s voice was calm but firm and Charles cringed slightly "Nothing is the matter with me,nor with the kids." his gaze darkened somewhat and Charles had to look away "But, I have the feeling that something is the matter with you."

Charles looked up again, his gaze questioning "What do you say, my friend?" he laughed, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight "Nothing is wrong with me,really."

"Oh, sure." Erik said, his voice dripping with sarcasm "Floating in the air is normal for a telepath, sure..."

Charles sighed, running a hand through his brown hair " Yes, well... I guess there is more in me than just the telepath." he smiled his brilliant smile, but Erik wasn't smiling in return.

"My friend.." Charles was still smiling,but this time it was a slightly tired smile " ..you don´t have to worry about me. You have your own pro-"

"Don´t come with this shit again , Charles." Erik almost snarled "It is not normal for a telepath to float around, not when he is supposed to be just a telepath. I know that something is going on inside your little head. You can´t hide it from me. I´m not a telepath, but I can see what is going on." he paused,his stern expression softened and his cold eyes became warmer "Charles, it´s written all over your face. Everytime when you think that no one is looking. But I see it." he grabbed Charles' left hand, and was holding it.

Charles' eyes widened slightly and for one moment he didn´t know what to do. "Erik..." he then said, his voice soft and his smile even softer "Thank you." he freed his hand out of Erik's and turned away " But, as I said, there is nothing wrong with me."

"You don't have to tell me anything." Erik eyed Charles, who was watching the pond "But, you can come to me if you want to talk... I hope you know that, Charles. Because, that´s what friends are for."

Charles bit his lower lip, his gaze still directed to the pond, his hands slightly trembling. That was why he hastily put them into his pockets. He didn´t want to look weak, not to Erik. A part of him wanted to tell Erik that something was not right, that there was something inside him , this force, that his control was slipping out of his hands... but the other part was too stubborn.

"So...How does it come that you can float?"

Charles sighed and rubbed his forehead "Telekinesis..." he answered slowly. Erik blinked and crossed his arms in front of his chest "Telekinesis?" he asked, even slower.

Charles nodded and turned around to his friend, who eyed him with an critical gaze. "Telekinesis, my friend, is a really great power. I have always been interested in this power. You can not only move and stop object, technically you can also move your self, so that you´re able to fly." he smiled, his eyes curving upwards "Sadly, you need a lot of training and a lot of focus for that." he winced as he throught of his fall. Now that he thought about it, his right ankle did hurt pretty much..

Erik snorted and rolled his eyes "Charles, that is ridiculous! You´ve just discovered that you have a new ability, and now you´re trying to float? Isn´t that a bit to much for the start? Shouldn´t you try something ...else?Try to move the dishes, for example."

Of course, that had been stupid, but it was so exciting !_ And_, he added,_ I´ve tried to move the fork_. Charles sighed and nodded "Of course, you´re right.." he mumbled.

Then he laughed, a bit embarrassed, and rubbed the back of his head "I´m always to excited. It´s just... When there is something new, a new mutation, no matter where or what.." he trailed off and straightened up "Well, what about you?" he asked, suddenly, and Erik gave him a questioning gaze "I mean, what about your powers, your training."

Erik waved off, a small smile on his face "Nothing new..." he said, and Charles could hear that he was depressed about the fact that he wasn´t able to move anything big, like the submarine, for example..

"I know what you are thinking." Charles said, carefully, and when he saw Erik's dark gaze he quickly added "Without reading your mind."

"I know that you are depressed and a bit angry, because you can´t move heavy or big things. But, maybe you can do it. No, you can do it, Erik, I know that. The problem doesn´t lie in your powers, it lies in the way you use it. "

"In the way I use it?" Erik asked, one eyebrow raised.

Charles nodded "Yes. When I see you, using your power, then I always see this stern face of yours. Your eyes are full of hate, as if that is the only reason to use your powers. But, you don´t need hate for it. Well, not only hate. I think, the perfect way lies between rage and serenity."

"Between rage,.. and serenity?" Erik shook his head "How am I supposed to find that 'way'?"

Charles gave him his brilliant smile and laid his hand on the shoulder of his friend, his blue eyes full of warm emotions "You´ll find it, my friend. Because, there is more in you than just the memories of hate and pain. I know, your past was... horrible. You have all rights to feel the way that you feel, but-" his smile brightened up a bit "There are good memories as well. Think of them, search for the light inside you."

Erik was about to tell Charles that there was no light inside himself, that his light had vanished a long time ago, but then he looked into those blue eyes, and he knew, he just knew, that there was still a little flame inside himself. A little bit of peace and light..Hope.

"Charles.." he began, but Charles shook his head "No. You don´t have to say anything." he leaned forward and looked up to Erik, their noses almost touching "Your thoughts are yours alone. I will never look into your mind, Erik. "

Erik looked at him,startled, then he smiled "And, what if I want you to read it?"

Charles grinned while leaning forward "Then, maybe, I would read it. I mean,..." he grinned even more "..when you´re inviting me like this...Who knows what I´ll find there? Maybe I´ll find the candlelight dinner that you´ve promised me."

Erik raised one eyebrow "I´ve promised you a dinner?When?"

Charles shrugged his shoulders, still grinning "Can´t remember."

Erik rolled his eyes and leaned down to Charles, their noses touching by now "Well, I throught you´re the telepath."

"That doesn´t mean that I have to remember everything. I´m not a walking timetable." Charles answered, a cheeky grin on his lips.

"Well,...What about tonight?"

Charles blinked, a bit confused "H..Huh?"

Erik laughed softly and placed a hand on Charles' head "The date, mister timetable, the date. What about tonight? Candlelight chess match, hm?"

Charles face became white, then he flushed, and then he stuttered "Uh,sure..." That was ..unexpected.

So, Erik felt more for him? Or, was this just a joke? As if Erik could read his mind, he leaned further forward, their lips were almost touching "What about 10 pm ? My room."

"I..Yes...Sounds great.." Charles stared into those greenish eyes, his heart pounding in his chest, he was about to lean further forward, but then-

"Charles, I need your help."

They practically jumped away from each other,hastily looking away as if nothing had happened. Charles could feel the disappointment of Erik, and he could understand him. Moira always seemed to be in the way.."Of course, Moira, what is it?"

Moira, who looked out of one of the windows, smiled down at him , ignoring Erik "The CIA, they phoned me, and..,well.." she trailed off and Charles sighed. She wanted him to talk with them ,again. "Okay, Moira, I´ll help you." he turned to Erik, who glared at Moira, pure hate in his eyes.

Charles felt his heart sank as he saw the hate in the eyes of his friend "Erik.." he said softly, almost whispering "Calm your mind, okay? 10 pm, your room, okay?"

Erik closed his eyes and nodded slowly "Okay..." he breathed,still angry because of Moira. Charles smiled at his friend and patted his shoulder "See you later,Sharkneto."

Erik snorted but it was almost a laughter "Yeah,lab rat, see you.."

And then, Charles walked back into the house, to Moira, who was waiting for him.

Erik, however, stood outside.

He sighed and rubbed his face, then a small smile crossed his face and he turned to the satellite "Between rage and serenity..?" he asked himself. He walked to the wall and reached out his hand towards the satellite...

At the end of this day, they both, Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier, had improved their powers.

One of them learned to control his feelings, while the other learned to accept a new part of himself.

All in all, it was a good day.

But, a good day doesn't mean that the night will be good as well...

* * *

><p>He Yo,Orangneto is back in da house! xD<br>My school report was okay, everything is fine, holidays are..great..xD  
>So, yeah, hope you all are alright. Thank you ALL again, for all the favs,alerts and reviews! :)<br>I saw First Class for the second time, and I coudln´t stop laughing because of Sharkneto and all the other fanstuff..Oh my...  
>Uh, and I have to thank you again, this time because of my grammar xD I know, it isn´t perfect(PERFECTION! xD) but..I always try to manage things on my own, also this grammar xD I hope that is okay for all of you :)<p>

See ya next time, my friends 3


	9. Chapter 8: Feelings

**Chapter 8**

The day came to an end sooner than Charles would have expected. There were so many things that he had to do, that he hadn´t realized that it was almost ten o´clock.

Now he ran through the hallways,trying to come in time. Yeah,true, it was five to ten, but he never liked being too late, even if it were only some minutes. He was one of those person who were always half an hour too early. Better to early than too late,right?

Somehow he managed to run through the whole mansion in five minutes. He was panting by now, and his hair was a bit messy, but at least he was on time. He tried to smooth his hair, then he straightened up and raised his hand.

Then, he hesitated. But why? There, behind the door, was only Erik. He swallowed hard and shook his head, then he knocked at the door. This was just a normal chess match, nothing more, god damn!

"Come in." he heard Erik say. He slowly pushed the door open and was about to say something when he saw the room.

"Candles." he breathed, his eyes scanning the room in front of his eyes. There were candles everywhere. On the small wardrobe,on the windowsill, on the small desk next to the bed, on the floor...Everywhere.

Erik sat in one of the armchair,studying Charles' expression, a grin on his lips "What´s the matter,hm? I´ve told you that this would be a candelight chess match." Charles just stared at Erik, his jaw slightly open.

He had never expected something like this from Erik. This was...almost romantic. No,it was romantic, at least it was the most romantic thing that Charles had ever seen, but.. But, from Erik? Erik had always been a bit cold, a bit aloof and sarcastic, and now this.

Erik was a mystery to him, he was so different from him, but still there was something between them ,and Charles was so confused and happy right now that he couldn´t say anything. He just stood in the doorway and stared at Erik.

"You gonna come here, or are you going to stay where you are?"

Charles blinked "Ah...yes.." he mumbled and turned red. Luckly, the light of the candles wasn´t as bright as the light of the normal lamp...

Charles walked up to his friend and dropped into the armchair. At first he gazed at the floor, then he looked to the chessboard. He was nervous and he didn´t know why, this was ridiculous and-

"Scotch?"

Charles looked up from the chessboard and met the eyes of Erik, who was smiling at him "Sure." he said, a bit to quick.

All in all it was a rather normal chess match.

Okay,yeah, the candlelight was new, but the rest of the match was as normal as ever. They were drinking scotch, were talking and laughing. It was fun, but Charles soon noticed that something was on Erik's mind. Maybe it was the kiss?...Anyway,he had to ask.

"Erik, tell me, what is bothering you?" Erik, who was about to take a sip from his glass of Scotch,looked at him with a questioning gaze "Hm?"

Charles sighed and placed his own glass of Scotch next to the chessboard and leaned back, eyeing Erik "I can see that something is bothering you. Your brows are slightly furrowed."

Erik sighed softly and he ran a hand through his hair "It's ..." he stopped and shook his head "The humans, Charles."

Charles tilted his head. Something in the voice of his friend told him, that something was not right. The romantic atmosphere vanished slowly and was replaced by an atmosphere of sadness. "What is it, Erik? What is with the humans?" he leaned forward and eyed his friend with worry in his eyes.

He forgot about the kiss and his question, he would wait with it. The mental state of his best friend was more important than the answer for his question.

Erik closed his eyes and smiled bitterly "Just look at them...Look at Moira. She fears us,or at least me." he sighed and opened his eyes, looking at Charles as if the whole thing was pressing down on his heart "What if the other humans notice us? That is Shaw's plan, and I know that this will not end well. They will mark us, Charles. Everything will start again...It begins with the marking..."

Charles could see the sadness and anger in the eyes of his friend, and it made him sad himself. "Erik..." he said with a soft voice , trying to calm the mind of his friend "There will be no war. Not when we show them, that we are no danger."

Erik laughed dryly and leaned back "No danger? Hell,Charles, we are a danger. They are right to fear us,because I won´t let this all happen again. I will kill Shaw, because that is the only option to stop this all." he cleared his throat and shook his head "Sometimes I just think it would be the best to kill them all...You know, only the stronger species will survive." he turned up his nose "And I don´t want to be the weaker species again, never again."

"My friend.." Charles' gaze was worried "Killing will not bring you peace."

"Peace.."Erik smiled cooly "..was never an option."

"But-"

"No, Charles. You don´t get it." Erik's eyes were cold and steel grey. Charles could feel the anger, the hate, the fear.

Yes, maybe he couldn´t understand this. Maybe only Erik was able to understand this. But still..."Erik, you´re right, I don´t understand this..or you." Charles' eyes went to one of the candles, which stood near the fireplace "But there's one thing that I understand,that I know." he looked back at Erik "It starts with hate and ends with war. It's the hate that destroys us. We have to stop that." he leaned forward and grabbed Erik's hand "Erik, we have to break the cycle of hatred. It is up to us to be the better men."

"My friend, we are already the better men" Erik freed is hand out of Chrales' grip, his eyes narrowing slightly. Charles's heart nearly dropped at that sight. He felt as if he began to lose his friend. He didn´t want to lose Erik, not because of hatred.

"No. Erik, don't you see ?" his voice was full of sorrow "You start to become like them." Erik's eyes widened and his hands clenched into fists "What...?" he asked, slowly, not believing what his best friend had told him mere minutes ago.

"Look closely. You are starting to hate, but you begin to hate the wrong persons. Not all humans are the same. Yes, maybe some will fear us, but others will accept us. There will be always hate, there will always be someone who doesn't accept you, but...that is how it is. The world is not perfect, my friend." Charles stopped and Erik pressed his lips together, looking as if he was about to scream out loud "I´m not like them." he said,slowly, his voice sounding dangerous "I want a better world."

"A better world by trying to clean it off of humans?" Charles smiled sadly "Doesn´t that remind you of something?"

Erik leaned forward, his face mere inches away from Charles' "Stop that." he said, his voice low "YOU don´t understand anything. I´m not like them, and I will never be like them !" he grabbed Charles by the collar of his cardigan and nearly yanked him over the table, making the pawns fall to the ground "I am not like the Nazis ! I want a world where we can live freely, a world without hate !"

The blue eyes of Charles were wide, but he didn´t stop to talk "No,Erik, no! There is no difference between you and them if you say something like that!" his bright blue eyes almost began to fill with tears "Don't let the hate have the control! I know that it must be difficult for you, all this ,but-"

Bam.

His eyes widened with shock and his hand reached up to touch his cheek.

Erik had just slapped him.

Erik's eyes widened now too, he let go of Charles and dropped back into his armchair "I..I´m sorry, Charles.."he said, his voice a bit shaky "I didn´t mean to..I..that wasn't what I.." he trailed off, avoiding Charles' hurt gaze.

There were silent for now. Erik pressed his hand against his forehead, his gaze directed to the floor.

Charles, however, just looked at Erik, his blue eyes reflecting the dim light of the candles like the eyes of a cat. Those eyes were full of pain. It was no physical pain, no... It was the fact that Erik had slapped him, not the pain in his cheek.

"Charles, I.."Erik took a deep breath and looked up, his eyes meeting those of Charles, who still stared at him, his face an emotionless mask "I´m sorry! I didn´t want to hurt you! Really! There..Your words,they... I didn´t mean to slap you,it just.." he trailed off. "Charles, believe me, I´ll never do that again!" he looked at Charles, his eyes pleading, and reached with a hand for Charles'.

"You know..." Charles said, his voice flat and his smile sad "..I throught this would be a nice evening. Actually, I wanted to talk to you, because of the kiss. I throught, that I, maybe, mean something to you. I would have never expected that this all is just about hatred.."

Erik leaned towards Charles, his face full of sorrow and regret "Charles, I-" Charles stood up, still smiling, and shook his head "It's okay, Erik." was all he said, then he turned around and walked towards the door "Maybe I was wrong about you...I´m sorry." he said that with such a small voice, that it was barely a whisper.

Maybe he shouldn't have said what he said, but...Wasn´t it true? Should he have said nothing, while watching how his friend turned into a man that he never had wanted to be?

"Charles!" Erik jumped up, one hand reaching for Charles, trying to make him stay "I´m so sorry,Charles, please wait." Charles stopped, one hand on the doorhandle, his face directed to the door "Why?" he asked,objectively "There is no need for me to stay here, Erik."

"Charles..." Erik's voice cracked "...what I did.."

"What is done, is done. It's okay, Erik, I don't blame you for it." he was about to press the doorhandle down, but Erik stopped him ,again "Please, I..Charles.." he walked up to him, but Charles refused to look at him ,because else Erik would see the sadness in his eyes "Charles, look at me."

Charles laughed a forced laughter and tried to push the doorhandle down, only to find it unmoving "Erik." he said, his voice clear and stern "Let me go."

Erik, who stood next to him,grabbed him by his shoulders and turned him around, so that he had to face him "No." his friend said, his voice calm "No,Charles, I won´t let you go." Charles laughed dryly and tried to turn away. That was ridiculous!

"Charles,look at me. Please."

Still he didn't want to look at the man in front of him, but then he did it. Erik smiled, sadly, and placed his hand on Charles' cheek "Charles, I´m sorry. For what I did, because I did it, and because of what I said."

Charles laughed, but is was a hollow laughter "Erik, I already told you : It is okay. It was our both fault." he turned back to the door "And now, if you would be so kind, open the door."

Erik, however,made no move to open the door. "Erik!" Charles began to grab the doorhandle with more force "Open-the-door!"

"No." Erik's voice was still calm.

"Damn you!" Charles muttered and tried to open the door, though, he had no success. "Why do you do this?" he mumbled, his face lowered to the floor,his hand still on the doorhandle "Just let me leave, I said it is okay, I-"

"I love you."

Charles' head shot up "Sorry?" he asked, his voice low " I think I've missunderstood you, ple-"

"I love you."

He said this with such a calm, serious voice, so that Charles had to believe it. But, he couldn´t..."Haha,my friend, no,you don't." Charles smiled, but his eyes were sad "Not now. Not to this time. You´re imagining things, Erik. That´s all."

Erik tightened his grip on Charles shoulders,his greenish eyes staring at him "No. I´m sure, I´m more than sure."

"NO! No,you´re not!" Charles turned his face away from Erik. He couldn´t look in to this face right now, no! He felt all this emotions from Erik, the regret,the love, the worry, the anger, everything ! He didn´t want to see it.

"Erik,you are confused, you can´t love me, it´s...it´s ridiculous. "he took a deep breath and looked at his hands "This is not true. The feeling that you have, it's a lie that you create right ´re feeling the need to tell me something nice, because you have hurt me, but I´ve told you, I´m fine. Let´s pretend like nothing happened and-"

He flinched as Erik's fist collides with the door next to him,almost breaking it into pieces. His heart is pounding in his chest, his breath becomes quicker, and what is this weird feeling inside of him?

"Why do you say that, Charles? Why can´t you believe me?"

Yes, why couldn´t he believe him?

_Maybe , because of what we have said?_

_Maybe, because of what we have done?_

_Maybe, because this whole situation is weird and utter ridiculous?_

_Maybe, because it simply is.. impossible?_

Charles looked up to Erik, and he could see it. All the love in his eyes. Maybe, yeah, maybe it was true what he said.

Erik smiled down at him, his eyes warm "I love you. I realized that now." then he leaned down to Charles, and kissed him.

The first thought that went Charles' mind? _This is wrong wrong wrong !_

The first feeling that he had ? _Oh yeah, it is fucking right!_

The situation, the place, yeah, they were wrong.

But the feeling, the kiss, the love, that was right.

"Erik.." Charles mumbled against Erik's lips and tried to break away, but Erik wouldn´t let him "Erik, this isn´t the right...hmm..right time to do this.."

He could feel Erik's smile against his lips "I know.." he breathed and deepened the kiss. They should stop, yes, they should. They just had an emotional breakdown ,and now they were kissing... This was a bit odd and also wrong. They should wait a bit..

"Ah,wait.." he was panting, his hands grabbing Erik's shoulders "We...We should wait-" he couldn't talk further, because Erik began to kiss his neck "W-Whoa,wait !"

Erik laughed softly and shook his head "No.." he mumbled against Charles' neck "I won´t wait. Not again."

"A-Again?" he asked, a bit shaky. Erik stopped to kiss his neck and looked into his eyes, a small smile on his lips " Remeber, the good night kiss?" Of course he did. He was the reason for all this,right?

"But,Erik, we really shouldn't-"

"I don´t care what we should or shouldn't " Erik kissed him again, a bit more forcefully this time, his hands sliding under Charles' cardigan. He was pressed roughly against door,his back hit the doorhandle and he grunted in pain. Erik's hands caressed over his skin,and he almost moaned.

They should stop.

Yes, it was true, a part of him didn´t want this to stop. It was as if there were two parts inside of him, struggling to take over his mind.

One part wanted him to stop, because this was not right. The situation was just wrong.

The other part of him,however, was begging to be fucked.

But still, what they did was not right. Not after what they had talked about.

Charles tried to free himself, somehow, but Erik pressed him against the door and didn´t let go of him. The hands of his friend seemed to be everywhere on him,and it made the whole thing very difficult, because he couldn´t focus on anything than this hands. Uh, and those lips, kissing him so passionately...

"Ah,stop, wait.." he panted,his hands trying to push Erik away "Erik, wait .." He wasn't listening. His friend was to lost in the sensation, he didn´t hear him. _I have to go into his mind_..Charles tried to raise his hand to his temple, but suddenly Erik's hand pressed his hand against the door.

Okay, great...So, he had to try it without the hand.._Erik ! Erik, we should stop now, we will regret this later, this is not the right time to- _he moaned when Erik began to suck at his neck. He knew, this would go further._Erik ! _Erik's hand slide lower, and Charles's breath hitched. He didn´t know how he found the strength to push Erik off, but somehow he managed it.

They both were panting harshly.

"What's wrong?" Erik asked, panting, his voice low. "W-What's wrong?" Charles's asked,trying to smooth his hair "This!..I mean, we shouldn't do that now, not after our talk..We can't just kiss as if nothing had happened.."

Erik raised one eyebrow and laughed breathlessly "Wasn't it you who said, we should pretend that nothing had happened?" Charles, who was already flushed, blushed even more. Fortunately, it was barely visible in the dim light of the candles. "That was...I meant.."he stuttered, angry about himself. Why was he stuttering?

"I...I really have to go now." he turned around to the door, his heart still hammering in his chest "We'll see each other tomorrow.." he mumbled and opened the door,glad that it wasn't locked.

"Good night." he heard Erik say. He swallowed hard and turned around, smiling "Good night." , then he closed the door behind himself. He quickly walked down the hallway and around the corner, then he leaned against the nearest wall and closed his eyes. _Calm your mind, calm your mind.._

They had had a struggle, then his best friend had told him that he loved him, and then they had almost had sex. .. He swallowed hard and rubbed his face with his hand. What an evening...

At least now he had an answer to his question.

* * *

><p>Hey Ho, Orangneto is in da house :D<br>So, a new chappy for ya (well,or now it is an old chappy, because , I guess, you've already reat it now xD)  
>Aww, I hope no one wants to kill me because of this chapter... xD<br>Okay,so, I say thanks to all of you! :) Thank ya for reading this story ^^-  
>See ya around,guys ;)<p> 


	10. Chapter 9: Weird

**Chapter 9**

He stared at the ceiling,he wasn't able to sleep. The happenings of the evening didn't want to go out of his head, nor the words that his best friend had said to him.

Were they true? Was he really starting to become like... them?

He never had thought that someone would say that, nor had he believed that it would be true. But now,after what Charles had told him, he began to wonder if it was true.

_What if I really become like them? _

Should he be angry? Or, was there no reason to feel angry? Was it true, or wasn't it? He had been angry with Charles, he had hit him, yes. But, he would never let his anger take control over him again, not like this..

He hadn't meant to hurt Charles, but the things Charles said, they had hurt him. Charles couldn't imagine what he had said, what effect his words had had. They had hit Erik like a fist into his face.

His gaze wandered from the ceiling down to his arm, and he gulped. He couldn't see the numbers, because his arm was lying on the bed, but he could almost feel them. He could remember every second of the engraving. He could remember every horrible minute that he had spend in the concentration camp...The horrible treatment of Shaw,the fear, the pain,the..anger, the smell of burned flesh,the screams, the helplessness..Those memories would never leave his mind.

He never ever would become like them. Maybe Charles had been right, but there was enough time to stop the process. He didn't have to become like them. He could still stop this all.

But, it wasn't easy. There was still the hate inside of him, the hate for Shaw and those stupid humans...

He would try everything not to be like them. But still, Shaw was his target now, he would kill him, no matter what. Even Charles couldn't stop him from doing this.

_Charles_...He sighed when his thoughts returned to the telepath. The evening...He had almost attacked the younger man with kisses. Charles had seemed a bit shy and unconfortable, Erik had felt , he hadn't stoped, and he couldn't tell why.

Maybe it was because he had feared to lose Charles. When Charles had turned away from him, with this sad and hurt gaze, he had thought he had lost him. Never in his life had he felt so desperate.

The fear to lose him, to lose Charles, his only and best friend, had overwhelmed him. Never in his life he would have been able to be happy again.

In the end it had been right that they had stopped. Not that he was regretting anything ! No, he...Well, he was in love with Charles, and he really wanted to be with him, but Charles had been right. Not under this circumstances.

It was weird, but true. He loved him. It was as simple as that. He never had loved a man, or, anyone else. Of course he had been with women, but he never had really loved any of them... True, he had loved his mother, and his father,...his sister, but that was something else..

Erik closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of the late night, or better to say, of the early morning. It was almost four o`clock. He should sleep now,it was late.. While trying to calm his mind, he breathed slowly in and out , trying to relax.

It was still not easy for him to sleep properly, because the nightmares held him awake most of the time. There were many times when he awoke, dripping with sweat and panting, his eyes wide,the images of his memories in front of his open eyes.

But,it was better now. Now,that he lived here,under people.. It almost seemed as if he hadn't enough time to have nightmares, because he needed to be ready for the next day. The kids,the training ,and all the other 'humanly', problems...It was as if his brain was to full to have nightmares. He smiled ,realizing that he maybe wasn't only a weapon made by Shaw, but also a person with a soul.

_Alone..I m alone.._Erik opened his eyes,confused. _ Help me...I don't want to be alone anymore..I'm cold_.. He furrowed his brow. That weren't his thoughts..

He sat up, his gaze wandered around in the room. The room was empty, the clock on the wall was ticking loudly, the light from outside dim and greyish. He held his breath, trying to listen to the thoughts again.

_Not this time, I have to...- Mommy,daddy,where are you,I ..- I hate you,hate you! Leave me alone I..- Milk,eggs,sugar..-_

They were sounding as if they came from far away, there was always a static noise between the individual thoughts, as if the connection between them was really bad.

Erik was a mutant, but no telepath, and the only telepath who was here in this house was Charles. Whatever he was doing, it was distracting his mind and his telepathic shields.

Erik sighed and stood up. He wasn't able to sleep if someone projected thoughts in his mind, so he would go on the search for the cause of the problem- Charles.

He quickly crossed the room and opened his door,slowly. The hallway was quiet and dark, only the moonlight shone through the windows.

Erik stepped out of his room, closed his door, and turned around, to begin his search, when he stopped. He didn't need to search anymore. The cause of his problem stood in the middle of the hallway.

_My teddy,I want my teddy..- Oh,look, it looks so nice, I...- Worthless piece of shit, I gonna beat the hell out of y..- Gina,what's wrong, you look so sad..- I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't...- _

He was staring at him, or better, right through him. His blue eyes were wide and glassy, and he seemed to be far far away. The moonlight made his skin even paler and the circles under his eyes looked even darker.

He just stood there, one of his pillows under his right arm,in his checkered pyjama, looking like a lost,little boy, his hair messy and his face emotionless.

Maybe this would have looked cute, maybe weird, but for Erik it was almost scary. The way Charles looked right through him... Then,suddenly his gaze seemed to focus on something, and Erik relized, too late, that is was he himself.

_What are you doing in my house? Who are you? What do you want? Leave me alone ! I don't know him I don't ,do you know him? No, no,that's wrong, it's wrong !_

Erik flinched as he heard the uncontrolled thoughts of someone,someone who wasn't the friend he knew. It was as if several voices spoke together, everyone of them confused.

Erik didn't know what to do. Should he go to his friend? Should he leave him alone? Should he call for help? "Charles.." he said, his voice calm and steady "I think, you should calm your mind.."

The eyes of the younger man narrowed, the pupils changing from very wide, to almost nothing within every few seconds, so that Charles eyes became almost black, and then almost only blue.

_Don't know what he want's, what is he talking about? I don't know, don't know.I want to go home... _

"You can't help him now." Erik almost jumped and turned around, only to meet Raven's eyes. She wore a light blue pyjama, her hair was tied into a knot, her face calm.

"What is the matter with him?" he asked her, his eyes moving back to Charles, who stood as unmoving as before. Raven smiled, though it looked a bit sad " He is sleepwalking." she answered.

Erik raised on eyebrow "Sleepwalking?" he asked "Well, he is sleeptalking , but not walking.." Raven rubbed the back of her head and nodded slowly " Yeah.."

"He often did that when he was younger. He had never been able to sleep well, because of all the voices and thoughts of other people. That's why he used to take sleeping-pills. Well, but he got tired of all this stuff, so he decided to sleep as few as possible. You see, even he has to sleep. " she sighed "The last time when he was sleepwalking wasn't that.. bad... This time it is much worse. The others can hear the thoughts as well."

Erik looked at his friend, a weird feeling inside him. Was it concern? Maybe...

"And, what can we do?" he asked quietly. She smiled up at him "It's okay, I had to help him through this many times. You can go back to bed, if you want." she didn't wait for an answer, she just walked up to her 'brother'.

Erik, however, didn't walk back into his bed. He watched them.

"Charles." Raven laid a hand on Charles's shoulder, who stayed unresponsive "Charles, you should go to bed now. It is late."

"_I don't want to.." _ he sounded like a little, stubborn child, not like Charles at all.

"I know, c`mon, yeah? " she took him by his hand ,carefully "Wake up, Charles. " she said that so gently, so lovingly , that Erik narrowed his eyes. Like a mother.. Like a caring sister...Like someone who loves you.

Slowly, Charles's gaze steadied and returned to their normal state. "Raven?" he asked, tired and surprised. She smiled at him and nodded " Yeah."

"Was I.."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry.."

"You don't have to. Headache?"

"Yeah,.."

They understood each other, because they knew each other for so long. Because they loved each other..Charles leaned his head against Raven's shoulder, who turned around to look at Erik. "Erik?" she asked "Would you be so kind? " Erik shrugged his shoulder, looking as if he didn't care about anything, but in fact there were a lot of emotions battling inside of him. "Would you go to the kitchen and get some painkillers for Charles' headache?"

"Sure." he answered, and she nodded thankfully. He turned around,but from the corner of his eyes he could see Charles' face. It was blank, and for one moment Erik thought he could see a red gleam in those blue blue eyes..

...

The whole evening had been weird, but Erik wouldn't ask Charles about anything of what had exactly happened. He didn't do that because he wouldn't like it, if he were Charles.

He didn't like it when other people tried to understand everything of him,nor when they tried to look into his past,or when they sniffed around in his private life. His life was his own life, no one had to know everything about him. If he wanted to tell anyone anything, then he would do that.

So, that was the reason why he wouldn't ask Charles, simply because he was respecting his privat life.

It was late midday, and he was walking down the hallway, on his way down to the others, when he heard the music. Someone was playing the piano.

He stopped, and listened. It came from somewhere of the westside of the mansion.

Actually he wasn't curious, but he would like to see the person who was playing it, because it was sounding really nice. Somehow he had the feeling that he would meet Charles, and ,indeed, it was Charles who was playing the piano.

Erik stood at the open door of the room, watching Charles, who either didn't seem to notice him, or who was too lost in the music. He crossed his arms in front of his chest,listening to the music. He almost closed his eyes, when Charles began to speak "Hello,my friend,what are you doing here?"

Erik hastily opened his eyes again, pretending as if nothing had happened, and gave Charles a toothy grin "I've heard that someone was playing the piano, so I came here to see who it might be."

"Really?" Charles leaned back, turning his head to his friend "Do you like piano music?"

Erik blinked, a bit confused, and shrugged his shoulders "Yeah.. Well, I've hardly listened to any kind of music."

"No way !" Charles shook his head, almost upset "Come here" he patted at the free space on the piano stool,next to him. Erik hesitated , but Charles glared at him, his bright blue eyes demanding. So, Erik sighed and walked up to his friend, though, he didn't sat down.

It was weird, to act as if nothing had happened. He would like to ask Charles about the kiss, but he wouldn't ask. Not now.

Charles looked better than he had in the evening. His blue eyes were already bright again, and he wasn't as pale anymore. The dark circles under his eyes were still there, but also the typical smile on his lips.

Fool.

Erik had seen the medications in the kitchen-cupboard. Painkillers,sleeping-pills,medication agains asthma,medication agains headache,...

"Erik,are you listening to me,hmh?" Erik blinked,and looked down at Charles, who looked up at him with an reproachful gaze. "Sorry, what?" he asked, sounding bored.

"I said, you shall sit down, else I'll force you."

Erik grinned, though it didn't quite reached his eyes "Sure, as if you could force someone."

"You know that I can, if I want to." he tapped his indexfinger against his temple, but Erik knew that Charles would never use his powers against his friends.

"You would never do that." he said, a ironic smile on his lips, and sat down next to his friend. "I know." Charles agreed "But , at least I can say that I would. Sounds somewhat groovy."

"Yeah,totally." he couldn't hide the sarcasm in his voice, and he was sure that Charles had noticed it, but his friend stayed calm. However, how could he be so calm, after the evening, the kisses..

"See,it is easy to play the piano. All you need is love for the instrument."

"Love?" Erik asked, and couldn't suppress a grin. "Yes, Erik,love." Charles rolled his eyes " But, I don't want you to kiss the piano. I want you to lead your feelings into your play, into you hands..." he trailed off, and noticed the grin on Erik's face.

"Yeah, I always lead my hands with love.."

"Erik! That-...That wasn't what I meant, you know that!" Erik nearly laughed at the upset expression in Charles' face, but he managed to stay calm. "Anyway.." Charles looked back at the piano, then he began to play, slowly "See. I'm not thinking about what I am playing. I just play."

Erik raised an eyebrow, while watching his friend playing the piano "You..just play?"

"Yes." Charles nodded "I had piano lessons when I was younger, though I never really liked the songs that I had to play. So I came up with my own ones." he stopped,his hands mere inches above the keys "It was my mother who had wanted me to play it. "

For split second there was something like sadness in those blue eyes, but it was quickly replaced with joy "Now, it's your turn." Erik wasn't able to disagree, because Charles grabbed his hands and placed them on the keys "Just feel the music. Try something out,it doesn't matter."

The master of magnetism furrowed his brow, his eyes fixed on the keys. Slowly, he pressed on of the keys down. It was a long, low tone.

"No,don't try that one, try this one." Charles pointed at the other keys on the right side "They are higher."

So he leaned towards Charles, his fingers slowly pressing down some keys. It didn't sound bad, but not near as good as that what Charles had played "Wait, let me help you."

First, Erik thought that Charles was about to go into his mind and he was surprised as he felt the hands of his friend on his own hands. "See, you can use that keys together, but not those, because than it sounds wrong. That's fis, this a,and c'. You can also try c,e,g. Try them for the left. Now,just try something with the right. Noo, not like this,with more feeling. Yes, like this. Good."

He played, though it sounded a bit weird. Charles, however, seemed satisfied "You have nice hands" he told him "They are long, that's good to play an instrument. " his fingers stroke absently over those of Erik, almost like in trance "Say, can you play any instrument?"

Erik cleared his throat , and nodded "Yeah..." he said "My father had a violin, and he tought me how to play some pieces.." he trailed off, his thoughts wandering back to his father. Yeah, those had been some of the happy times back then...

" Violin ?" Charles asked, his eyes glistening with joy " I love violins! Do you want one?"

Erik was a bit startled "Sorry?" he asked, because he thought he had missunderstood his friend. "Do you want a violin?" Charles asked, again, a grin on his face.

"Well,I..." No, no he didn't want to have one ! It would only remind him of his past, it would hurt to play it, no...

"I'll buy you one, okay?"

Erik cloughed and shook his head "No! No,I...I don't want one,really, it's okay." But it was too late. Charles was already obsessed with the thought to buy Erik a violin. He jumped up,and Erik was almost falling backwards, because Charles jumped up to quickly, full of enthusiasm " We can drive into the city. That would be good for the kids as well. They could have a bit of fun, feeling like normal teenagers, and we could buy you a violin."

Charles didn't wait for an answer, he grinned and walked to the door "Great! I'll tell Moira and the kids that we'll drive into the city tomorrow. " and with that words he was out of the door, leaving Erik alone on the piano stool.

A violin... Why? Why did Charles want to buy him such meaningless thing? They were about to fight against Shaw, they had to train...There was no time for any pianos or violins , or other fun.

Right?

Erik let his hands slid over the keys of the piano, which were cold and polished. An instrument..It had been such a long long time that since he had played an instrument. He wasn't quite sure if he should be happy, or angry.

So,they would go into the city. It was supposed to be a funny day tomorrow, and Erik had to admit, he was positiv about it. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad has he always thought. Maybe he should try to look at things a bit more optimistically.

Yes, Erik Lehnsherr was trying to be a human again.

However, the trip to the town wouldn't end as well as he hoped...

* * *

><p>He yo,Orangneto is back in da house :D<br>So,well, I have an info for you :

I won't be able to uplade/write anything in the time from 10.7 till 17.7, couse a friend of mine will visit me :)  
>So, don't worry if I don't upload in this time, or in some time afterwards( I try to upload again in this week, and in the week after the dates). You know me, I'll try to update as soon as possible ;)<p>

Whoho, and thank you again for all the alerts and favs, and reviews,of course!  
>I never had this many alerts *_* Or favs... xD So,thanks again^^( could say that every time,again and again ,couse it makes me really happy :D)<p> 


	11. Chapter 10:City Stroll

**Chapter 10**

It took them a two hours drive from the mansion in Westchester to New York City. They drove with the bus, becouse Charles had no car that was big enough for all of them.

The kids seemed excited, but Erik couldn't tell why. This was just a trip to the city, nothing special.

The ride was boring, Erik was looking out of the window for the most time, his thoughts somewhere else. Charles talked to Moira and Erik listened to their talk. It was about none important things.

He knew that Moira had a crush on Charles, everyone could see that - exept for Charles. However, Moira had no chance, Charles was not interested in her.

It was a rather sunny day, some clouds could be seen, but it wouldn't rain.

New York City, with his high skyscrapers and overcrowded streets, was one of the places where Erik hadn't been before. Sure, he had been a lot of countries and citys, but he never had been here. He was a bit overloaded by the impressions, all these shops and advertisement..

Erik never liked being under people, especially not under too many humans. Though,one good thing had the city - you are invisible. There are so many people , so many faces, that no one takes a closer look at you. It doesn't matter if you are a mutant or not, because no one knows anything about you. You are just another face in the crowd.

But still, Erik felt a bit uncomfortable. He was someone who rather walked alone in the empty streets of a city in the night, than on a crowded street in the sunlight of the day. It was just,...So many humans, pressed together,walking into one direction, towards their end, and-

"So,here we will split up." Charles' cheerful voice brought him back to the present "Raven, I gave you some money, make sure that everyone gets a bit of it."

Raven nodded and the eyes of the boys widened, Sean was whispering with Alex, and Erik silently wondered how much money Charles had given his sister. Charles had a lot of money, that was true, but that was no reason to spend it on useless things, or to give it to everyone. Why was he doing that? Well,Raven was his sister, so that was okay, but what was about the teenagers, that he barely knew?

"We will meet here again at 18:15, the bus will take us home at 18:30. If something is the matter, I'll call you." he tapped his indexfinger against his temple "If someone of you has something to say, just try to call me via mind. I'm sure I'll hear you." The teenagers nodded,then they headed off,chatting, excited about everything.

Hank and Raven walked together, almost hand in hand, and it was obviously that they were more than just friends. The way they looked at each other, the way they talked to another... They seemed to have a crush. Why had everyone a crush on someone ? That was almost scary..

"Well.." Charles turned to Moira and Erik, a grin on his face "So...Erik and me want to go to the music shop, I hope that's okay for you, Moira."

Moira gave him a smile, but Erik could see that she wasn't happy about the fact that Charles would stay with him, not with her. She also knew that she wasn't welcome , not when Erik was around. She maybe was a human, but she was smart. "Okay, I...I think I will take a look around." she answered.

"Great!" Charles gave her one of his brilliant smiles and turned around "See you later." Erik gave her a nod and followed Charles. From the corner of his eyes he could see her, standing there, alone. It was almost pityful.

They didn't talk much on their way to the music shop. Chares hummed a song, his hands in his pockets, and a smile on his lips. Erik watched him silently, walking some steps behind his friend.

He was smiling,all the time. How? And why? How was someone able to smile all the time? Some people obviously had nothing better to do than to smile all the time, to spread their love to everyone. Charles was one of those people.

Erik's thoughts wandered back to the evening, and to the kiss, and he asked himself if Charles had also some love for him. What if not? What would he do then?

"Erik, be carefull!" Erik stopped. He had nearly crossed a red light. Charles shook his head "Erik,really..."

They continued to walk silently. Erik listened to the busy talks of the other people, to their laughter, and he asked himself if he would ever be able to be as carefree as they were..Humans, ha. They had no real problems, they didn't know how it was to be called a freak.. He hated them. He hated them, because they were free. Because they were fools. Because they didn't know anything.

"Erik?" Charles' voice held a tone of worry, and he immediately knew that his friend had sensed his anger "Is everything alright?" He nodded, forcing himself to smile "Yes." he simply answered. Charles asked no further, and Erik was thankfully for that. He didn't want to talk about humans or anything else...

The music shop was big. One of the biggest that Erik had ever seen. Well, actually, he had never been in one. He had never needed an instrument.

Guitars, violins, double basses, violas, cellos, pianos, flutes, drums, and a lot more instruments, some that he did not even knew. They seemed to have everything here, and he was amazed. While Charles began to talk with the seller, Erik walked up and down the showcases and walls, his eyes wandering over the various instruments. The prices were enormously high.

_1.000$, 1.500$, 2.500$, 3.750$, 4.890$, 5.380$..._he stopped. So much money for an instrument? A whole family could live with that money, over months ! This was ridiculous! How could someone spend so much money on wood and iron?

"What are you looking for, sir?" Erik spun around,ready to yell at the next best human who dared to speak to him, when he looked down at a sixteen-year old girl, with blonde hair and brown eyes. "Violin" he answered shortly, looking back at the instruments in front of him.

"Oh,then you should look over there." the girl said,pointing at the end of the large room. He didn't answer her, he just walked up to the end of the large room. He could hear the girl muttering something like "No problem, honey...How unfriendly..", but he didn't care.

Violins, in every imaginable color. Black,white, one in red. Some didn't even look like violins at all.. One of them took his attention. It was a very normal violin, dark brown, which looked very old. He leaned forward to have a better look. Yes, this violin was obviously older than the others. It had some scratches, and the wood was worn and unpolished. Only the strings seemed new.

"Ah,I see." Erik leaned back up as he heard the voice behind himself "This one is very old. Haha,and very expensive." Erik looked over his shoulder. The seller stood behind him, next to Charles, who had his hands in his pockets,watching Erik. "It's from Poland, has survived the war. It was made 1893 and once belonged to a Jewish family. They, however, haven't survived."

Erik flinched barely visible, his gaze fixed on the violin, his heart skipped a beat. "_They, however, haven't survived.."_

"How expensive is it?" Charles asked, his voice neutral. "Hahah,boy, I don't think that you have enough money to buy it." Erik could almost hear the smile in Charles' voice as he answered "Well, but I think I have. If you would be so kind, we could go in to the front of the room, I'm sure we can talk about the price." They both went away, leaving Erik alone again.

_"It's from Poland, has survived the war... They, however, haven't survived."_

Erik pressed his lips together and tried to calm his breath. How could this man speak so carelessly about what had happened? Couldn't he understand how horrible this time had been? How much pain this violin represented ?

Yes,it was representing pain and sadness,but it there was also something else. Something familar..Something warm,something that he couldn't describe. It reminded him of his past, but not at the bad things, no. It was almost as if this stupid instrument meant more to him than any other object did before, as if it was representing a piece of his own past.

That,however, was of course totally ridiculous. It was just an instrument, god damn, not a living person or a part of his soul. This stupid instrument had nothing to do with his own past, but still...

"It is now yours." Erik's gaze went to Charles, who stood next to him. "You actually bought it?" he asked, unbelievingly. Charles gave him a serious gaze and nodded "Yes,"

"But,why? I mean, you could have bought me another one..."he trailed off, his gaze on Charles. Charles laughed softly and shook his head "No." he said with a knowing smile "No,there was no other option."

_Because I know how much it means to you. _

Erik would never know how many money Charles had spent on the violin, because Charles would never tell him. Because, for Charles Xavier, money meant nothing. He just wanted his friend to be happy, because then he was happy as well. That, was much more precious to him than any money of the world.

They didn't only buy the violin, they also bought some new clothes. Charles thought ,that Erik needed more clothes than just some turtlenecks, so he dragged him from one shop to the next. It was weird, and Erik felt a bit like a little kid with his mommy. Yeah,and again, Charles played the mommy.

In the end their only bought new turtlenecks. Erik couldn't help it, he liked to wear them. And, it wasn't Erik who grinned like a cheshire cat, it was Charles who seemed to be pleased. Almost as if he was happy for Erik, because Erik couldn't show it.

Erik was happy,yes , he had a good time since a very long time, but..He couldn't show it, not like Charles. He might be happy in the inside, but from the outside he looked as normal as always.

And still he asked himself. Why was Charles doing all this for him? Did he really care about him? Had he really hope for him, to become a better man, someone who wasn't full of hatred? He almost laughed at his own,pathetic ,thoughts. But still... "Charles" he asked, while walking next to the younger man on the street "Why are you doing all this ?"

Charles looked up to him, his blue eyes questioning "What? You mean, buying you things and walking next to you on an open street?"

Erik smiled slightly "Yeah.." Charles looked up to the sky and shrugged his shoulders "I don't know. I think, because you are my friend. Because I care for you." he looked back at Erik " I thought you knew that."

Because he cared for him..Care, it was a weird word. Maybe he should start to care as well, not only about himself and Shaw, but also about others.. About Charles..."Say..." his gaze was directed at the street "Are you alright, Charles?"

Charles laughed " What? Yes, yes I am. Why are you asking?" he leaned towards his friend "Do you think I am mad or something?"

Erik had to grin " No...Well, I know that you're mad, that wasn't the question."

"Awwww..Now I am hurt."

"No,really.." Erik turned serious again " Is everything alright ?" Charles furrowed his brow, pretending to think about Erik's words. "Yes." he finally said "Yes, I think I am fine."

The sleepwalking came back into Erik's mind,and also the cupboard full of medications. He knew, this was privat, but if he really wanted to care about Charles, then he should ask.. " Charles,I-"

"Are you hungry?"

Erik blinked, but Charles did not wait for an answer, he grabbed Erik's arm and dragged him to the next best restaurant. There he pushed him down onto a chair and sat down across from him. He wouldn't be able to ask the question, because Charles didn't want him to.

His friend seemed to sense that Erik was about to ask something about himself, and he didn't want to talk about himself and his problems. Not now. Not when they had a good time like this. Charles was someone who rather cared about others than to let others take care about himself.

"This is...an ice café.." Erik said, slowly.

"I know!" Charles grinned "I love ice cream. Well, I don't eat it very often, but I like it. The ice cream was never safe form me when I was a child."

Erik just stared at him, than he shook his head and laughed softly. "What?" Charles asked, his brow furrowed. "Nothing." Erik answered, grinning "Nothing.." He could imagine his best friend as a little boy, eating icecream and grinning like the fool he was..

They sat there ,eating ice cream, and were talking. It was almost five pm, the sun was shining, but it was a bit windy, and the streets were busy.

Charles loved to sit here, just to sit here, and to talk to his friend. He loved the way Erik was smiling, and he loved the way he laughed. Such times, together with his friend, made him happy.

Friend...Could he say that, after the kiss? Were they still simply friends? Or were they already something else? Did he want them to be something else? Did he..Was he in love with Erik? Did he love the man in front of him? Was there a future for them both? Could he imagine a future with this man?..

He licked at his ice cream,lost in thoughts about himself and Erik,when Erik suddenly leaned forward "They are here." Charles rubbed his forehead and gave his friend a questioning gaze "Who?" he asked, almost whispering.

"Shaw and his friends."

Charles' eyes widened slightly and he turned around in his chair, just to meet the stare of a blond women. Emma Frost was her name. She gave him a wicked smile and raised her hand to wave at them.

"Damn!"

"Erik.." he said, slowly "Try to-" it was to late, Erik was already on his feet. "Erik!" Charles stood up as well, but Erik began to walk towards Frost, who stood up as well. Charles hastily grabbed the violin case and the bags with the clothes and followed his friend.

Frost began to walk now, she was fast on her high heels, and disappeared in the crowd. Erik,however, followed her. _No,damn! Erik! Come back,what are you doing !_

_"I follow her, she knows where Shaw is !"_

Charles cursed and began to follow his friend. _No,don't you see it, that's their plan, stay with me, don't follow her , wait!_

Erik wasn't listening to him. _Damn, damn! _He raised his fingers to his temple and contacted Moira , _Moira, Erik is following a women, who is named Emma Frost. She's a telepath and belongs to Shaw! I need your help, try to follow them, call some agents, try to arrest her. She knows a lot about Shaw, she would be a great help with our search. I send you a image where we are! They are on their way to the northside._

He couldn't wait for her answer, he had to contact his sister, he had to warn her, _Raven, listen! You and the others, you'll go back to the busstation. No buts, you'll take the next bus home, understood! Raven? Raven!Damn! _Why was no one ever listening to him?

He ran through the crowd,searching for Erik and Frost, but he couldn't see them anymore. _Erik, stop, you have to come back ! _

_"Don't tell me what to do, Charles !"_

Charles flinched at the cold voice of his friend, but he wouldn't stop. _Erik, this is dangerous, please stop that, Shaw tries to seperate us,so that he can get you I-_ Suddenly he wasn't able to feel Erik anymore. He wasn't able to reach him ! Damn, it had to be Frost! She must have blocked the mind of his friend !

He stopped, breathing heavy, and leaned against a housewall. Damn, he couldn't run any further, his lungs were hurting already. Damn asthma,always there when it wasn't needed.

This should have been a funny day. A day where they could feel free, where they could have fun, anything...Why did it always had to end like this? That wasn't fair..

"Oh...Everything alright?" Charles sighed when he heard the kind voice behind himself "Yes, thank you.." he turned around and froze...

* * *

><p>Hey Yo :3<br>This is a bit short, but that's because I've v´cut the chappy in to two, so that you have something to read til I'm off for the week.

Yeah,well...I wondered if I should write a lemon,maybe in chappy 12,13.. or so...Okaay, don't look at me like that ! :I  
>I've read a lot of lemons(höhö) , but I'm not sure if I'm able to write one..(omg, that's...pathetic? xD)<br>So,maybe,okay?..O_o

I also wonder how this story should end..I mean,a happy end,or a sad end..something between...I made a poll,you're free to vote :3

Okay,I've talked enough for now! See ya in one( and a half?) week :)

Have a nice time + I love you all ;D


	12. Chapter 11:Meltdown

(You should listen to: Dark Phoenix Tragedy or Phoenix Rises :D)

**Chapter 11**

"Stop,you stupid women!" Erik snarled, running after Frost,who was laughing at him "Never, darling."

They ran for ten minutes now, and she didn't seem to stop, she was running further and further,away from the crowd. Erik was following her,he wouldn't stop, he would find Shaw, she would lead him to his target!

She turned into a side street, which happened to be a dead end. Now it was Erik's turn to laugh, an evil smile on his lips "Ah,I see. And now?" Frost raised on eyebrow, her arms crossed in front of her large breasts " What? Do you expect me to answer to all of your questions? Not again,honey."

So,she just ran around without a plan... Okay, he hadn't expect her to lead him directly to Shaw, no. She maybe was a blonde bitch, but she wasn't stupid. Erik narrowed his greyish eyes and walked up to Frost, who stayed in place "Yes, indeed. I expect you to tell me where Shaw is."

She laughed out "Never, honey." ,then she began to take some steps backwards, and Erik realized that she was about to escape over the iron stairs of the house to her left.

Okay,maybe she was only a blonde,big breasted bitch without a brain. Would you try to run away over an iron stair, if a metal manipulator is right in front of you? See..

"Bad idea." he raised his hand, and the iron stairs leaned towards the blonde. "Indeed." she hissed, and suddenly he felt pain.

Old memories began to play in front of his open eyes, memories of the death of his mother, of death and burned bodies, of blood and tears. He could see the wide eyes of his mother, he could hear the shot. He could feel the anger and despair he had felt back than.. Then he felt the pain,saw into the cold eyes of Shaw, who was leaning over him, a grin on his face, speaking, but he couldn't hear his words, because he was screaming in anguish.  
>The stairs stopped moving, and he gripped his head in pain. He was lost in his memories, and he tried to tell himself that this was the past.<p>

Then he stood in the middle of the camp, saw the fire in the distance, he could smell the burnt flesh of the bodies which were burnt. He heared the screams , he saw the Nazis who walked towards him, anger in their face,because he wasn't working, once again. He was to distracted. Distracted by the pain around him.

This was over, he didn't need to see it again, he had to focus on the present.

On the present..On Shaw, the man that had caused him so much pain. The reason why he had to come back to the present. But it wasn't his will to kill Shaw which brought him back to the reality.

It was one simple memory, one simple image in his head. One simple smile, and those blue, blue eyes. Those damn, brilliant blue eyes.

_"You are not alone, Erik. Never again."_

With a scream he lunged forward, with tears in his eyes, towards Frost, who seemed surprised. She was able to avoid his fists, but her back hit the iron stairs, who now began to sneak around her legs. Erik rubbed his eyes, still a bit groggy from his memories, and turned to Frost, but then her diamond fist collided with his chin, and he stumbled backwards. He could feel his bones cracking ,and gave her a hateful gaze. The banister began to wrap itself around the body of the blonde, and soon she was wrapped up in a cocoon made of iron.

"Where is Shaw ?" he hissed, his hands balled into fists.

"He's here.." she said, a contemptuous smile on her lips. "I know that!" he growled "I want to know where he is now !"

She laughed and threw her head back, hitting the iron with it "He's not after you. Not now. He has found another toy."

Erik's eyes narrowed even more "What do you mean?" he asked, the iron around her tightening, his lips a thin line. "Don't tell me you don't know."she laughed, a bit breathless "Argh.." she gasped for air as the iron tightened even more. "He's alone now, isn't he?" she asked and grinned. Erik's eyes widened as he realised what the blonde meant.

It had been her plan from the start, to lure him away, away from Charles, who was on his own now. Shaw wasn't here for him, he was here for Charles! And Erik had been so stupid and hadn't realised anything ! She had blocked him,his mind, so that Charles hadn't been able to follow them. That was why he wasn't able to hear Charles' voice anymore !

"Ohh,you realised it now?" the blonde asked, seeing the wide eyes of his. He wanted to kill her ,more than anything else, but he coudln't. She was their source for information about Shaw.

"Erik?" this voice..McTaggart. Charles must have told her where their where. This was the first time, that he was actually glad to see this stupid CIA women .

"She's here." he answered, without looking at Moira, who walked up to them. "Be carefull,she's powerfull." now he turned to Moira, who eyed him with big, brown eyes " Are the agents on their way?" she nodded "Okay, stay here ! Okay? " she nodded again, and he walked past her.

"Where are you going?" she asked, her voice a bit fearful "Where is Charles ?"

"I'm searching for Charles now. Frost !"

" 50 meter, near the ice cafe, west." she paused, then she added quietly "You should hurry."

Oh yes,he would hurry. He would hurry to find Charles before Shaw did. He wouldn't let it happen again, he wouldn't let Shaw take someone dear to him ,again.

_Charles !_ he called out in his mind, but got no response. _Damn! DAMN!_ He clenched his teeth and began to run as fast as he could. _Charles, hang in there, I'm comming !_

But it was already to late.

...

Charles breath hitched and when his gaze met the cold gaze of Shaw. It almost was as if the time stopped for one,two seconds until he realised, that he stood in front of the man who had killed one of the kids, that he stood eye to eye with Sebastian Shaw.

He gulped, taking a step backwards,aware that this was ridiculous. He was not able to fight against Shaw, not when Shaw wore the helmet.

"Hallo, kleiner Telepath." Shaws voice was full of humor and Charles flinched slightly. If he only would be able to reach the helmet.. "Don't think about it. I would stop you before you could raise your little hand."

Damn! Charles pressed his lips together, his eyes fixing Shaw, who smiled at him. Maybe he didn't need his hands...If he could use his telekinesis, then he could take of the helmet.. He just had to focus on it..He needed time, ..time..

"What do you want?" he asked, his eyes fixed on the helmet "Erik isn't here, I think you know that. And-" he added "-I won't tell you where he is ." Floating, the helmet, it would float..

"Oh, I'm not searching for Erik right now, I think Emma has some fun with him." Charles almost lost his focus, but he forced himself to stay calm "So..." he asked,slowly "What do you want instead? I have nothing to give, I'm sorry."

Shaw's smile grew and he leaned forward until he was near Charles' ear "Oh,you have something that I want. Actually, I want your powers, so..You could say, I want you."

Charles' face stayed calm , but inside he was more than troubled. Why would Shaw want him? He had Frost, hadn't he? That made no sense..

"You are powerful." Shaw leaned back up,his eyes on Charles, who was out of focus "You aren't only a great telepath, no, there is something else inside you, am I right?"

Charles' eyes widened and his hands began to tremble slightly. There was no way that Shaw would know anything !

"Emma.." Shaw said with a sigh " has sensed a strong telekinetic power. A power from somewhere else, from a different universe. She said it was inside you, and I saw it with my own eyes, the day when this stupid boy died. I saw your true power."

Charles tried not to show how taken he was, how this all began to throw him out of his control. He was aback, aback that Shaw knew all this. He himself could barely remember what exactly had happened the day that Darwin had died.

"My true power?" Charles asked bitterly "I don't want anything of it." _I don't want to be a weapon, nor a murderer. I only want to be Charles, Charles the telepath. Nothing more. I didn't ask for it.._

"But,it is beautiful. " Shaw raised one hand towards Charles "It is perfection."

_Perfection..._ Charles took mere steps back,almost falling over the bags and the violin case. "There is nothing such as perfection." he hissed.

"Oh,.but there is. " Shaw said, walking towards Charles, who drew back,trying to escape the man in front of him,even if he knew that it was pointless. "The power to destroy, to kill...All in a small body of a man, who is smarter than any other. In the body of a telepath, who is able to locate every man and women, every mutant on the world. This,is perfection."

"Oh,no,no." Charles laughed dryly "This is not perfection. To much power for on man alone is never good." he narrowed his eyes "We already saw that. It only leads to war."

"But, that's what I want.." Charles noticed the wall behind himself. He was trapped. "I want war. " Shaw smiled his cold smile "And you are my key to my new power." he leaned towards Charles, again, and Charles tried to take another step back,only to hit the wall with his back "I only have to look for the key to your powers..How are you able to use them? You are not in control of them, otherwise you could have killed me already."

A hand reached for Charles' head, and Charles ducked away. Shaw's hand grabbed his hair and yanked his head upwards, so that Charles had to look into Shaw's cold eyes "I could try it on the nice and lovely way, or on the painful way. Somehow I have the feeling that only the painful one will work."

"It won't work." Charles gave him a bitter smile. He wasn't sure if that was true, but he would try to stay calm ,he would not let his powers control himself..

"Oh,it will." Shaw truned away "Hate is an effectiv way to expose powers, I've learned that. You should ask Erik, he knows it."

"Chaaarles !" Charles head shot up, his blue eyes widened even more. "Raven!"

His sister was held by the red mutant, Azazel, they stood on top of the metal stairs. He couldn't see her face, but her voice had been full of fear. His heart began to hammer in his chest and his breath stopped. They...They wouldn't do her any harm, no,they couldn't..

"I count till three." Shaw turned back to Charles, his face emotionless " If you aren't able to use your powers, she'll die."

"No!" Charles shook his head "She has nothing to do with this, leave her out of this!"

Shaw didn't listen.

"One.."

Charles tried to push Shaw away, but Shaw tightened the grip on his hair, so the he wasn't able to free himself out of the grip. He looked up to Raven. Maybe he could stop her fall, but he wasn't sure.

"Two..."

He should try to use his powers, but he had no clue how ! He tried to find them, he tried to use them, but there was nothing. He began to tremble violently. Why couldn't he use them, why wasn't he able to find them? The voice inside his head was surprisingly quiet..

"Three."

Shaw gave Azazel a nod, and Charles screamed in pain "NOOO!" She was pushed forward, her eyes widened in shock, her body turning back into her blue form "Charleees !"

Several things happened then.

Azazel appeared next to Shaw, only to disappear with him in red smoke. They would watch the whole scene from the roof of one house,some streets away.

Raven, however, never hit the ground.

Erik was the one who saved her, timely, before she could hit the cold ground. Her belt was her salvation. Erik was able to stop her fall, using her belt to stop her mere inches from the ground. She was pale, even in her blue form, and she cried, because of shock and relief. He ran to her, checking if she was alright. She was alright,apart from some scratches and a shock.

Charles saw nothing of it. He didn't realize that his sister was safe, he didn't notice that Erik was alright, no, he realized nothing of this.

His mind was blank, struck with the thought that his sister was dead. He felt nothing, he was empty. He hadn't had enough energy to hold his powers back, he didn't want to hold them back. He didn't care anymore.

First, there was nothing,then there was pain.

He was lost in the pain and the emptiness,so lost, that he wasn't able to see that everything was alright. He saw nothing.

Slowly, the things began to stop. The cars,the buses,the voices of the people,everything. It was quiet,to quiet. The calm before the storm.

"Charles !" He couldn't hear Erik's voice. He didn't see the panic-filled face of Raven, nor the serious one of Erik. He was burning, burning inside, and it hurt, everything hurt, and he was about to cry, but he couldn't.

The humans screamed, were running away, full of panic. They couldn't understand what was happening. Even Erik couldn't understand it.

This was not the Charles he knew. This was not the stupid,little lab rat, the adorable professor, the man with the brilliant blue eyes and the foolish smile, who believed in peace and the power of words. The person in front of him, the person with the red eyes and the dark veins,with the deathly pale skin and the emotionless face, with the black lips and the dull stare, with the hair,which was floating around his head as if it had its own life,...this wasn't Charles.

It was something powerful,something evil,something unhuman.

"Charles !" he screamed, trying to reach his friends with words, but his friend wasn't able to hear him. He was lost ,somewhere inside himself, and couldn't hear anything.

The force had already consumed a large part of him .

Erik could feel the darkness, it was pulsing out of Charles like light from a lamp. They had to stop him, otherwise there wouldn't be a New York City anymore.

Charles slowly raised his arms, slowly, almost to slowly, and the cars,buses,bicycles,the water of the hydrants,plants,outdoor decoration,indoor decoration,chairs from cafés,manhole cover, advertisements, and all the other lose things, began to float up into the air,slowly, ominously.

Then,suddenly, houses began to crumble,they began to fall apart,slowly, like in slow motion,as if the ground gave way under them. The windows broke and the glass splinters were floating in the air like dust.

But, there was no explosion,there was no tumult. It happened quitly. They began to dissolve,all the things in the air. Slowly,very slowly, they floated up in the air and dissolved into dust.

Yes, he was afraid. He had never seen something like this, and it pained him to see his friend like this. And again, it had been Shaw who had hurt someone. Again, Shaw had tried to destroy the world of an innocent man.

"Do something!" he heard Raven scream "Oh my god, Erik,do something !" She wasn't able to do something. She was under shock. She couldn't think clear right now, and Erik could understand that.

But what? What should he do? What should he do when even Raven didn't know what to do?

"Charles.." he took a deep breath and slowly walked up to the man in front of him "Charles, everything is alright.." he spoke slowly, calm,as if Charles was a little child that he didn't want to scare off. "Everything is alright.." he raised his hands,slowly,soothingly, his gaze on Charles, who was unresponsive.

He was crying. Charles was crying, he saw that now. Tears streamed down his unemotional face,like oil, thick and black.

And that was when Erik realized something:

Maybe that in front of him wasn't fully Charles, but there was still the Charles he knew. He wasn't angry, he didn't even want to kill or to destroy.

He was simply utterly desperate.

He did believe that his sister was dead, and that he had lost another person to Shaw.

This, in front of Erik, wasn't a monster.

It was a lost soul who was crying because of the supposed death of a dear person. This was still just a man. Still. But,for how long? How long would Charles be able to resist the power ? Erik couldn't tell, but for the moment he didn't care. For the moment, he had to take care of a person that meant something to him.

"Charles...Open you eyes and calm your mind." Erik stood now in front of his friend, who was staring through him " Charles, no one is dead. We are all alive, Raven is alive. You don't need to let it take over your mind. I know that you have the control to stop it. You don't need to feel pain, Charles. There is no need for pain right now."

He leaned forward and embraced his friend, carefully and full of love. He wouldn't let go, not until Charles was alright and clear-minded again.

"Please stop it now, it is enough."

First, he thought that Charles would never stop, that he would continue to destroy the buildings and things around him, but then he felt it. He felt it, the sobbing, it made Charles body tremble. It was a soft sobbing, almost barely hearable, but it was full of pain and distress.

The things began to drop back to the ground,leaving a mess behind. Police- and ambulance sirens could be heard from afar and the utter silence was gone. The worst was over, at least for the other people. New York City wouldn't be destroyed, at least not today. Not because of Charles.

He was still crying, his arms around Erik, who held his friend silently. He was trembling violently, and for several moments neither of them was saying anything.

"I can understand you now..." his voice was small and broken, full of pain "I can understand you kow, Erik... How you must have felt...I'm so sorry.." he broke off, sobbing violently against Erik's shoulder "I can understand you..."He was repeating the sentence, again and again, still crying.

It broke Erik's heart, to see his friend crying like this. He had never wanted him to suffer, never. He raised his hand and began to pat Charles' hair, pressing his lips against Charles' ear and tried to calm him down, but he wasn't able to stop the crying.

He wasn't able to take the pain and the shock away, he wasn't able to fix what had been broken. Charles had to fix it himself. He knew how Charles must have felt, when he saw Raven falling, he knew the pain and the anger, the despair, but that didn't mean that he was able to help his friend. He could comfort him,he could whipser soothing words, he could try everything, it wouldn't help. Charles was someone who was very emotional, who had a very fragile soul. He was someone who could be very happy,light hearted, but that also meant that he was someone who was more sensitive for pain. It would take time to fix what the shock had done to him.

But,there wasn't only the shock about Raven, there was also the shock about himself, about his own powers. He wasn't only in shock, he was also afraid. And probably confused. This all was to much for him, and he didn't know how to handle it. So he wept, silently, repeating the words like a prayer, hoping that this all had been a dream.

Erik wasn't crying, but he felt as if he was about to cry. His mother was dead, no one had saved her. At least he had been able to save Raven. No one was dead or ,physically , hurt. That was all that mattered now.

Finally, Charles had calmed down, leaning against Erik, his forehead pressed against the metal bender's shoulder,breathing calmly. He was totally exhausted and near collapsing. "We should go now. " Erik said,looking towards Raven, who stood several steps away. She nodded and rubbed away the tears.

They slowly walked down the street, past the remnants of the half destroyed skyscrapers. Erik's gaze went to the bags and the violin case , and he noticed that they were untouched, without a scratch. He tightened his grip around Charles shoulders,smiling slightly,reaching for Raven's hand, so that she had some comfort as well.

Whatever it would take to help Charles, whatever he needed to do to stop the force inside his friend, he would do it. "Everything will be alright." he whispered, leaning his head on to Charles'.

He knew that it was a silly promise, but he would try to keep it. He would try everything to protect Charles from Shaw, from the humans, and most importantly, from his own powers. It wouldn't be easy.

..

"Why did you do that?" the red mutant asked, with his heavy accent."Why didn't we take him wit us? "

"Weil.." Shaw said , his gaze directed at the three mutants on the street under them "..ich warten möchte. Es ist Teil des Plans. Wir spielen mit ihnen,haben etwas Spaß." (Because..I said so. It is part of the Plan. We're paying with them, having some fun.)

Azazel raised on eyebrow. He was able to understand German, but still it was a bit difficult for him to understand everything that Shaw said. "Fun?" he asked, not very convinced.

Shaw nodded, a smug smile on his lips "Ja. Ich möchte sehen,wie es endet. Ich möchte sehen, ob die Menschen mitbekommen, was hier los ist. Ich möchte sehen, ob sie von selber einen Krieg anzetteln." ( Yes, I want to see how it ends. I want to see if the humans notice what is happening. I want to see if they start a war on their own.)

"But..Wouldn't it be better, if we take the telepath, and leave? "

"Oh,Ja,das wäre es. Aber,wie gesagt,ich möchte abwarten." (Oh yes, that it would be. But as I said, I want to wait.)

Azazel snorted and turned away "I hate waiting."

Shaw was still smiling as he turned to Azazel "Ich auch...Aber manchmal muss man eben warten, um das zu bekommen, was man möchte." (Me too. But sometimes you have to wait to get what you want.)

Then they both disappeared in a puff of red smoke,leaving the confused police - and ambulancemen alone on the street and in the half destroyed part of the city.

* * *

><p>Hey Yo! Orangneto is back in da house!<br>Sadly,not for long :I I'll visit my sis for one week (23-31),so we'll see each other in August. Sorry, m' a busy lab rat :O I hope you can forgive me ^^"

Maybe I'll manage to upload another chappy before the 23.7 :3

No one really knows if Erik is Polish, or German.. Well, I always thought he was Polish, but.. Erik Lehnsherr( Max Eisenhardt) is...well..It's German O_o  
>And, just think about it..His compulsion for perfection..(it reminds me of myself,lol xDDD)...<p>

I'm not really 'proud' to be a German, but..I like to use ' my' language in fanfics :D

Thanks again for aaaall the reviews,and favs, and alerts, and for the ones who voted/voting the poll :D  
>I love ya all,yo! See ya as soon as possible!<p> 


	13. Chapter 12:Fragile: Handle with care

**Chapter 12**

_"...two days. It happened in the center of the city. A large part of this center is almost completly destroyed. From what you can see, it looks like the act of a natural disaster. The American government assumes that it is a machination of the Russian military forces, because of the discussion about the missile position. However, there is no real information or proof for that. For now, there were no dead bodies found. People, who survived the attack, are under shock. Some of them are talking about a person, who was able to destroy the surroundings with nothing but supernatural powers. The paramedics assume that it is the shock,which leads them to false thoughts and imaginations. The police is searching for information, though it will be difficult to find anything in the ruins. There is no need for panic, so says the American government , everything will be done to protect the people of America from Russian attacks. The President assures, that he will -"_

Erik turned away from the television, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

This was ridiculous,all of this. Since two days there were reports about the happening in New York City on TV, people who were talking about Russian military forces and a possibility of the third world war. They knew nothing. Russian military forces? Hah, this had nothing to do with Russia, or America. This was something else..

"I really wonder what happened." Sean said, his eyes directed at the screen "I mean...What if there will be another war?"

They didn't know what happened, Hank, Sean , Moira or Alex. Neither Erik, nor Raven had said a word. It was on Charles to tell them what had happened, but Charles was quiet about what had happened two days ago. What else was to be expected? It wasn't as if it was something to be proud of...

"C`mon, there won't be any war." Alex leaned back on the sofa " I mean, everyone has enough of war,right?"

"Yeah,you're probably right,dude.."

Erik shook his head and turned away from them. They knew nothing.. It was easy to start a war, there was always a reason to start one, but it was even more difficult to end a war.

His gaze went to Raven ,who was sitting on one of the big indoor windowsills, looking outside, in her normal, blue form. She hadn't changed her appearance since two days. Maybe it was the shock,maybe she had realized that her mind was to much focused on her appearance? Who knew? It had been a horrible day for her. She nearly died, and her brother had almost destroyed New York City.

"Everything alright, kiddo?" She looked up to him, her yellow eyes wide , then she turned her head back to the window. "Yeah.."

It wasn't. He could tell by her voice. She was sounding small and not like Ravn at all. "Hey,what's wrong?"

She sighed and shook her head "It's..."she stopped, not sure if she should continue. "Look at me." she finally said "I'm...I'm blue, and I can't turn back into my other self. I feel weird, and I don't know what to do... I..I was always able to control my powers, but now I'm not able to turn into anything.." she looked down at her hands,then she raised them, so that Erik could see them, and tried to change into her blonde self. However, she was only able to hold this form for a few seconds, then she turned back into her normal, blue form. "I..I feel ugly.." she whispered.

She flinched when he put a hand on her shoulder,his face was serious and his voice stern "You are not ugly." he said, and his voice was full of sincerity "You are one of the most beautiful beings that I've ever seen. You might look different than others, but who cares? As long as you're happy with yourself, you're beautiful. This is your real self, you should try to love it."

She sighed and closed her eyes, turning her head away "No...No, I can't accept it...You know, you all have hidden powers, powers that no one can see, if you don't use them. But,look at me ! Everyone can see that I'm a mutant, and most people think that I'm disgusting..."

Erik sat down beside her, his eyes not leaving her face "Raven, you don't have to hide your powers. That's not necessary. You are beautiful,at least to me. Don't care what others might think, they don't know anything...And, anyway, the appearance is not the most important thing..." he pointed at her chest " ...your soul is. And, you are a wonderful soul."

Now she began to smile "You..think?" He nodded, and she opened her yellow eyes "No one said something like this to me before.. Thank you." Erik smiled back, he was glad that he could help her.

"But, still.." she turned her head back to the window "I wait for Hank..He said,that he's able to create some kind of medicine,which would help to make us look...normal." she placed her blue hand on the glass of the window "I know now, that I'm not ugly, but.." she sighed "I...I just want to look normal."

Erik's face fell. So,she tried to hide,again. But,it was her decision..If she really wanted to look 'normal' ,then she had the right to take the chance.

Raven seemed to notice that he was a bit disappointed "You know.." she said,slowly " Maybe I think about it... " she laughed softly "Maybe I don't need this serum..."

Erik stood up and placed a hand on her cheek "You don't need it, you'll never need it. But, it is your decision. " he then leaned upwards. He was about to go back to his room,when suddenly the lights and the TV began to flicker. Sean and Alex groaned in dissapointment and Raven looked back to Erik, a knowing gleam in her eyes. It was just for a short time, but Erik knew why it had happened. He nodded towards Raven, then he went up to the kitchen, where Charles had to be.

He had expected Charles to lock himself up into his room, to be quiet and thoughtfully, but that wasn't the case. Charles didn't lock himself away, he was as normal as ever, cheerful with a bright smile. He didn't want to lose his facade, because of Hank, Alex,Sean and Moira. He was a good actor, but Raven and Erik could see the real behind his facade of happiness, behind this grin.

Charles was exhausted, and he was confused as well. He wasn't able to control his powers, there were times like these when he nearly destroyed the electronics in the house. But, he tried to manage everything on his own. He had always been in control, he wasn't used to have no control over his powers. And, above all ,he was stubborn.

Erik opened the kitchen door, to find Moira in front of the stove. She looked up at him,her brown eyes questioning.

"Where is Charles?" he asked her, his eyes narrowing. He had been sure that Charles would be here, because normaly it was Charles who managed to cook something. Okay, it mostly were noodles..

"Oh..Well, he went outside, just some minutes ago. He said something about 'needing air'." she shrugged her shoulders and gazed at the stove, thoughtfully "Well...He looked kind of worn out, a bit pale..But he told me that he wants to be alone, so I didn't want to follow him." she took a spoon,then started to stir the sauce with the spoon, her brow furrowed. She didn't say anything else, but Erik could tell that she was worried.

"I'll look for him." he told her, not knowing why he told her that. Maybe to calm her down or something..

"No." she shook her head " I really think he wants to be on his own for a while." she took the sauce pan form the stove,balancing it to the set table. "Anyway, food is ready." she smiled and looked up,but Erik was already gone."Erik!"

He knew where Charles would be, somehow it was clear to him. With wide strides he went down the small path, up to the small wall near the pond. It wasn't actually cold,but neither warm. The autumn was near,the leaves already began to color red and golden.

He could see Charles from afar. The younger man stood upon the small wall, his gaze directed to the sky, away from Erik,his hands in his pockets,wearing his dark blue cardigan.

Erik approached him slowly, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He was sure that Charles had already sensed him,but the telepath remained quiet.

Erik normally wasn't the one to start conversations, because he alsways didn't know how to start them, but he felt the need to talk. Not about what had happened, no. Charles wasn't ready yet. At least that was what Erik thought.. The metal-bender was almost able to feel the restlessness and the unease, it clung in the air around the other mutant like thick smoke.

"You don't have to talk, Erik, you know."

Erik didn't flinch as Charles spoke. He was used to the fact that Charles always seemed to know what he was about to do. "I know." he said urbanely "But I thought it might be nice to hear your voice, since you've avoided me for the last two days."

It was true. Charles never stayed in the same room like Erik, not if it wasn't necessary,and he was also avoiding Raven. Erik didn't know what was going on in Charles' mind, but somehow he had the feeling that his friend was blaming himself for all their misfortune. That was ,of course, utterly ridiculous. Charles wasn't to blame, for nothing. It was Shaw who was to blame, just Shaw, no one else.

"I'm not avoiding you.." he was sounding unconvinced, even to his own ears, Erik could tell that by the way he stood. His shoulders were bent forward, giving him a slouched position. "I just try to put my mind in order, that's all.. You all seem to think to much.." he laughed softly and rubbed the back of his head, still not facing Erik.

"That's okay." Erik told him "But I still have the feeling that..Well, you shouldn't try to manage this on your own, that's what I think. Everyone needs help sometimes, Charles, even you."

"Help?" Charles asked, and Erik noticed the slightly darker tone in his voice "Why help, Erik? Why do I need help? Is something wrong with me?"

Erik sighed and shook his head. No,that wasn't what he had meant.. "No, Charles, nothing is wrong with you...It's just, the happenings in New York City-" Charles spun around, his face destroyed with anger , his blue eyes sparkling dangerously, flashing red for mere seconds., "That was a mistake .." he said,slowly "That had nothing to do with my powers, I just lost control,it was an exception,it will not happen again, I can control it..."

" An exception?" Erik asked with a dry smile on his lips "Charles, that might was an exception for now, but it will happen again. Then it won't be an exception..."

Charles rolled his eyes and turned away from Erik, looking at the pond. First, Erik thought he was about to yell, or to say something sarcastic, but Charles stayed as calm as ever. He sighed and ran a hand through his slight wavy hair "I know..." he mumbled, more to himself than to Erik "I think I'm a bit scared." he admitted with a sad smile "I never lost control,Erik, never...I always managed things on my own, I was in control, no matter what it was..But look at me, Erik..I've become a monster..I nearly killed people, I half destroyed New York City... What am I supposed to do, if I don't know what I shall do? What am I supposed to do, if I don't know what's wrong? Or is there anything wrong? I can't tell what's happening with me, and it makes me crazy.."

His shoulders slouched even more and his gaze became even more sad, as if he carried the whole world on his shoulders. Maybe Erik hadn't realized it before,but he relized it now. Charles had to manage many things, almost to many for a young man like him. The young mutants, his new powers, the demands that others had on him, the training, studying..

"Charles, whatever happened...It wasn't your fault.." Erik said, his voice calm and soothingly "It was an accident,that's it. But, you're not a monster,you lost control, yes, but we can help you." he reached out with one hand "All of us."

For a split second, Charles simply looked at him. The wind ruffled their hair, leaves swirling around, and the sun disappeard behind dark,rainy clouds. Then,suddenly, Charles laughed, his blue eyes sparkling with joy "Erik,my friend, you remind me of myself right now."

Erik, who had been stunned, began to smile slightly "Well.." he said, stroking a strand of hair, that the wind had loosen, from his face "Seems like you have a higher effect on me than I thought."

Charles smile disappeared slightly , and his eyes turned sad "Maybe..." he said slowly, turning away from Erik again.

Erik opened his mouth, to tell Charles that everything was alright, that he shouldn't worry anymore, that is was okay now, but Charles was the one who spoke first "They are waiting for you. Moira is about to look out of the window, asking you to come in..Maybe you should go back." his voice sounded somewhat off, and Erik had this feeling again, that Charles seemed suddenly far far away from all of them.

"Don't you want to come in as well?" he started the attempt to convince Charles to join them, but at the same moment he knew that Charles wouldn't come back with him.

"No.." Charles shook his head, folding his hands together in front of his chest,almsot as if he was about to pray "I think I'll stay here for some more time."

Erik tilted his head,his eyes not leaving his friend, who refused to look at him "But, it looks like it is about to rain soon, and you haven't eaten since that day.." he trailed off, noticing that he sounded like a mommy himself now. What was the matter with him? Charles was a grown man, he could decided on his own what he wanted to do. Maybe, just maybe, he was too worried about his friend. But, maybe, maybe he was right to worry..

Charles chuckled "My my, Erik, don't tell me that you're actually worried about me?"

Erik's face turned serious, also his voice,as he answered his friend "I am worried, Charles. Always, at least about you. " he sighed ,directing his eyes downwards "I might not worry about others, not that much, that's true. And,maybe I'm a bit stiff and rude , but that doesn't mean that I am unable to care about others. Above all, I care for you." he paused, and added quietly "This feeling is ...,almost..,stronger than the urge to kill Shaw."

They were quiet again, only the wind was to be heard, also some birds. Then, Charles sighed. Erik couldn't see it, but he was smiling, his eyes closed "Really?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. He, however, didn't wait for an answer " That means something to me, Erik. I guess, I have to thank you. " he chuckled slightly "Who would have thought that we end like this.."

Erik raised an eyebrow "Like what?" he asked, slowly, carefully.

Charles raised his head,so that he was facing the sky, his eyes still closed "So close. That we would become so close to each other."

Erik nodded,describing circles with his shoulders "Yeah,who would have thought that..." He never would have thought that. He never would have thought that he was able to let someone else be a part of his life. But, Charles was different...

"Erik? Charles? Don't you both want to come in? The food is starting to get cold."

Erik rolled his eyes ,putting his hands in his pockets "And?" he asked.

"I'll come back later." Charles promised "But for now, I need time for myself.."

Erik didn't ask any further, that would make no sense. It was okay if Charles wanted to stay here. "Okay, so see you later." Charles gave him a nod, and Erik strode off, waiting for his friend to clear his mind.

...

The dim lights of the library helped him to calm down. No,not to calm him, to calm the thoughts on his head. Since that day, when he had nearly destroyed the city, the thoughts in his head seemed to be even louder. And this evil voice, the voice which sounded so much like his own, seemed to whisper to him continuously. No matter how hard he tried to block it out with his mental shields, somehow it always seemed to find a way to sneak into his thoughts. He was never alone, he always heard it inside his head,whispering to him, dark and evil, trying to make him fall apart, to make him lose control..

His hands balled into fists and he squinted his eyes shut, trying to ignore the soft voice and the headache. The books, which were floating through the air, placing themselves into the right shelf, began to tremble slightly in the air, almost falling to the ground. Damn, he was loosing his focus again, all because of his headach and this annoying voice inside his head..

"Charles, is everything alright?" The voice was small and worried. Raven. "Yes, Raven, I'm fine.." he opened his eyes and nearly jumped up from his chair. Raven stood directly in front of him, her yellow eyes full of worry. She wore her bathrobe, she had taken a shower mere minutes ago, her hair was still wet. He hadn't been able to sense her,probably because he had been too distracted. She was in her blue form, Charles assumed that she still wasn't able to turn into her blonde form. A pang of pain hit his chest as he realized that it was his fault.

His sister must have realized the sorrow in his eyes, because she bent down and placed her hands onto the table, her gaze warm and not a bit reproachfully "Charles, don't blame you for my condition. "

Charles sighed and rubbed his forhead, his eyes fixed on the edge of the table in front of him "I wish I could say that too, but sadly it is my fault. If I would have been-"

"Charles." she laid a hand on his forearm "You stupid idiot." she shook her head, smiling slightly "You could have done nothing. Please, brother, stop blaming yourself. I can't bear to see you so sad. And-" she added "- you are avoiding me. I hate it when you do that, you know that."

He sighed. Yeah,he had been avoiding to be near Erik and Raven. He always had feelings of guilt when he looked at those both. "Charles. Stop thinking,for once."

He laughed and nodded "Yeah, I try to." It was true. He tried not to think to much,but it seemed that his mind had a life of its own. "Raven.." he looked up at his sister, who eyed him carefully "I'm sorry. For...You know. What had happened." he ran a hand through his hair "I hope, that we find a way to unblock your powers,so that you can use them again."

Raven tugged at a strande of her hair and looked down, a small smile on her lips "Well... You know, I..I want to go out with Hank tonight, and...Well, I thought that you might..That you could help me."

Charles raised one eyebrow and leaned back, his hands folded on the table "Ah...Really? Why don't I know about this?" Raven looked up, an annoyed gleam in her eyes "Because-" she said "-you were avoiding me. Have you forgotten ?"

"True." he admitted "Well..You could have asked for my permission-"

"No, Charles Francis Xavier,don't you dare to play my mommy again!" she glared at him, but had to grin.

"Okay,okay.." he raised his hands in defeat "You won. You are a big girl, you can act on your own, I got it now." She smiled in triumph and placed her hands on her hips "So,are you gonna help me?"

Charles leaned forward,placing his elbows on the table, and sighed heavily "Raven-" he said, seriously " I don't think that I will be a great help. Not..Not now." _Not in my current condition._

He could see her face darken, he could feel her disappointment. He did want to help her, but he feared to hurt her. "Raven,look.." he took her hand. She tried to squirm away, but he held her tightly "...I'm not fully in control of my powers right now. I might hurt you, or might damage something. I don't want that to happen,please forgive me. Otherwise I would help you,of course.."

She pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes. She wasn't fully believing him, and he could understand her. "And,what about the books?" she asked, pointing at the flying books in the air.

"That's something else.." he mumbled " They are not living things..."

She snorted and rolled her eyes, freeing herself out of Charles' grip "Alright. So, I can quit my first date!" She was angry. "Raven, please, you know I would help you if I could-" he broke off. No, he couldn't always help her, he wasn't able to help her all the time.

Her shoulders slumped forward and she took a deep breath " It's okay." she said, though she was sounding a bit sad " I think we'll go out another time..."

He stood up and nodded. Maybe he should say something else.. She turned around and slowly walked to the door,almost as if she was hoping that he would call her back. But, he didn't. He wouldn't change his mind, because he wouldn't risk to hurt Raven. He didn't want to put her in danger again.

She was at the door, her hand grabbed the doorframe, as she turned around to face him "Charles.." she said, her voice steady " Do you think I am beautiful?"

So,this all was because she thought she was ugly? Did she want his confirmation?

"We already talked about this.." he trailed off, but she made no move to leave. "Yes.." he then said, rubbing his head "Yes ,Raven, you are beautiful." And it was true. She wasn't ugly, but..Was she beautiful?

"You don't mean it." there was no pain in her voice, just bitter acceptance.

"Raven, that's not true!" he walked around the table, up to her "Raven, you are beautiful, in your own way, and I-" She laught, bitterly, and nodded "I see..In 'my own way'?" she shook her head "Well, you can be glad. Hank is trying to make a serum. It will let our appearance look normal, as normal as you all." she turned away, her back to Charles , as she whispered "Isn't that what you want?"

"Raven, no, that-" She cut him off, again "No, Charles, I know it. You want to be normal, but look, what that did to us? It brought us nothing !"

He could see her tremble, her hands balled into fists "I wanted to look 'normal' , all the time, and I still want to look 'normal', that's true. But slowly I'm starting to ask myself why? Why do I want to look like the others? Why do I need the acceptance of others? Because, I fear that they'll fear me? That they hate me? " she rubbed her eyes, she was crying "I started to realize, that I spend half of my mind on my appearance, I won't be able to live freely if I can only think of my appearance..." she gulped "That's why I want this serum. I wouldn't have to concentrate on my appearance anymore..But,..." she trailed off. She was unsure, to many emotions were running wild inside her.

He walked up to her, embracing her from behind, his head on her shoulder "I think, you should listen to your heart. Do what you think is the right. Take your time."

She sniffed, but nodded. "Okay, promise me to take your time , think this all over, you have all the time of the world. Sleep a night over it,maybe two or three, no one is forcing you to make a decision." he hugged her tightly, trying to give her some comfort, then he let go of her. She sniffed and rubbed her eyes "I think, you should go into your room." he smiled at his sister, reminding him of their first meeting "I bet you need some time to choose your clothes and..all that girly stuff."

She laughed and smiled, nodding. "See you tomorrow, Charles." she waved and walked down the dark corridor, leaving Charles in the libary. He sighed , rubbing his face,then he switched off the light of the libary. He would go to his room, trying to do some work. Shuffling down the corridor, his hands in his pockets, he went to his room.

He silently hoped that Raven was alright again. He was so worried about his sister, that he didn't even notice the voice in his head anymore.

Gone for now, for mere minutes..

* * *

><p>Hey Yo,Orangneto speaks to ya ! ;D<p>

I had to upload this chappy before I went off, because of all your great reviews and all the favs and stuff !^^

^^ Well,thank ya all again. I never can thank you all enough,so..thanks! You always make my day !Thank ya so so sooo much! All of you!

So, see ya all in August! :)


	14. Chapter 13: Flying Lesson

**Chapter 13**

Erik sat in the living room, a book in his hand, but he wasn't reading. He listened to Sean and Alex, who were talking about football, probably because there was a football-match on TV. Whenever they had time, they watched TV.

It seemed that Alex and Sean had become somewhat like best friends. They did almost everything together; watching TV,playing basketball, eating, training.. They were inseparable. Though, Sean was more the one to come along with everyone.

The ginger-haired teen was a funny guy, who cared about others. He maybe was a bit clumsy,but he had a good heart. Even Erik had to admit that the boy was okay, although he could be really annoying sometimes. Especially when he had broken a window again.

Alex,however, was more a loner. He was the 'cool' guy, who seemed to care about no one. He could be a real asshole sometimes, and wasn't even afraid of Erik, nor did he seem to respect him. Maybe that was because of his difficult past. Yet he was a good guy as well. He might had some difficulties to come along with others, but at least he tried to behave. But, it didn't really work.

Hank sat next to them, quietly watching TV. Normally he was in the lab, or together with Raven, but now he sat there and watched TV. Actually, he seemed to stare right through it. Raven and he had had an quarrel, Erik wasn't completly sure what it had been about, but somehow he had the feeling it had something to do with the serum.

Sean and Alex jumped up from the sofa, screaming in joy. Oh,it seemed that their team had won the match.

"So, the match is over?" Sean and Alex stopped yelling around and turned around to the door. Charles stood in the doorframe, his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.

"Yeah." Sean answered, a wide grin on his face. Erik sighed and closed his book. There was no point in trying to read the book now.

"Well, I assume we can start our training now?" The boys nodded in agreement,walking past Charles towards the yard. Hank,however, stayed on the sofa. "Hank, aren't you going to join us?"

"Uh..Yeah,sure.." the brown-haired boy mumbled and stood up" I just have to get something from the lab.." he pushed his glasses upwards and walked past Charles, who watched him with a thoughtfully gaze. "Something went wrong.."he mumbled, more to himself than to Erik, who stood up from his armchair.

"Teenagers," Erik said, shrugging his shoulders. Charles furrowed his brow but said nothing to this subject, instead he smiled at Erik "Are you comming?"

Erik sighed dramatically "What else can I do?"

...

"Okay" Charles stood in front of them, eying them "Today's training will be easy. You will train in groups, two of you in one group. Sean,Alex, you're group one. Raven, you and Hank are group two. Erik, we both will be group three."

Erik raised one eyebrow and crossed his arms, though he said nothing. "Charles, do I really have to train with Hank?" Raven asked, unhappy with Charles' decision. Charles knew that they both had had a struggle, but he wouldn't change his mind "No, Raven, I have my reasons for those groups."

"He,he!" Sean waved to get Charles' attention "Where is Hank anyway?" Charles blinked, then looked around. It was true, Hank wasn't here. Was he still in the lab? Charles sighed and reached with his fingers for his temple, when he suddenly heard everyone gasp. He turned around, wondering what caused the others to gasp, when he saw the reason. "Oh Hank.." Raven whispered.

Hank was not the brown-haired boy anymore, no. He looked like a beast, with blue fur, his once blue eyes now yellow. His hands were paws, his ears like those of a cat. His eyes were downcast and Charles could feel his shame and discomfort.

"It...It went wrong.. I was wrong.. The serum had been a failure..It only caused my mutation to become stronger.." Charles was sure that he heard a sniff at the end. Everyone stared at Hank, their eyes wide in shock and disbelieve. Alex was the first one who spoke "Hey, man. Now you're Beast, yeah! That's a superb name for ya."

Hank looked up,and for a split second there was anger in his eyes, but his stare softened as he realized that Alex wasn't joking but trying to comfort him. Charles could see from the corner of his eyes that Erik was smiling, and he asked himself why.

"No,Hank,it wasn't a failure." Raven stepped forward, her yellow eyes soft "It was a success. This is your true form, it helped you. It made you perfect and whole." she stood now right in front of him and gave him a small smile "You are beautiful."

Hank's eyes widened slightly "Really?" he breathed. Raven nodded and took his paws in her hands "Mutant , and proud." Charles smiled. He had heard exact these words from someone else a while ago. Raven never had liked this sentence, but now it seemed to have a meaning for her.

Of course, it was weird to see Hank like this, but they would soon get used to his new appearance. Charles had to admit, that he was fascinated. Hank's new appearance showed that mutations could mutate even more. Life and evolution were full of secrets..

Raven and Hank walked to the others, hand in hand. Seemed like everything was fine again. "Okay,now." Charles clapped his hands "Now we can start the training ,right? Good. Alex and Sean, you both will train evasive actions. Alex,you'll try to hit Sean with your energy, but try to hurt him not too much. Sean,you'll try to dodge the attacks. But, please you both, be carefull."

Sean, who had learned to fly by the use of his powers, nodded vigorously "Sure Profesor X!" he chirped and saluted. Alex,however,rolled his eyes and crosses his arms in front of his chest "Ya know that I'm not able to aim." he said contritely . Charles gave him an encouraging smile "I know. That's why you're going to train it. You both will train near the trees, alright? " The boys nodded, though Alex seemed not really happy.

Charles turned to Hank and Raven, who were still holding their hands "You both are going to train reflexes and speed. You both have a very athletic body; that's good to protect yourself, but it's also is good for working together. I want you both to train this two options."

"Sure." Raven nodded, a smile on her lips. She was in a better mood than this morning. Hank was still a bit unsure, and also a bit unhappy, about his new appearance, Charles could feel that. But, he had accepted it somewhat, because there seemed to be no way to undo it. Anyway, Raven was pleased with his new appearance..

"Okay, we'll meet here again in two hours." The teenagers groaned in frustration; they didn't want to train so long. "Now now, stop groaning. You all know that it is necessary." The teenagers began to grumble but went off to their training places.

Charles sighed and rubbed his forehead. At least there had been no great protest and no discussion like the last time...Sometimes it was really difficult to handle these children,and Charles often had the urge to use his powers, but of course he would never do that.

"So, what are we both going to do now?" Charles was pulled out of his thoughts by Erik's calm voice. "Oh,well,..." Charles looked at his friends, his bright blue eyes curved upward with his smile "We, my friend, are going to fly."

...

Erik couldn't believe that he was doing this. That he had agreed to this stupid idea. Really, flying, with his powers? That was just ridiculous! Okay..He could lift every metal object with his powers, he could control metal, but metal shoes ! Really, this was..It was just stupid. But nooo, not for Charles.

"You'll see, it will work !" Charles assured with a beaming smile "I went through this several times in my head, there is no way that it wouldn't work."

Erik rolled his eyes, but bit back the sarcastic comment; instead he looked down at his new steelcap shoes. Well, not shoes, more boots. They were almost knee-high. He couldn't help but feel like a complete idiot with these boots.

"You moved the satellite, I'm sure you're also able to lift yourself ! Just think of it ! Isn't that a nice idea!" Erik coughed,his face a rather unconvinced expression "Charles, this ..it's ridiculous ! I mean, am a human! I might be able to control the metal in my boots, but not my body. I would lose my balance and fall , that's all."

"Ah,don't worry !" Charles grinned and held out his wrist "You can take my watch, to steady yourself. And, anyway, there is still me. I can help you, if you need help." Oh great, he really wasn't going to escape this flying lesson. At least the kids wouldn't see this. He would die because of embarassment.

Charles opened the clasp of his watch and handed his watch to Erik, who took the expensive looking metal object to put it around his own wrist.

"Okay, I think the first step isn't that difficult." Charles pointed at the boots "Lift them up."

"Charles, I-"

"Erik,lift them up." Charles voice was steady,almost stern, and showed that he was accepting no buts. Erik sighed in frustration "Fine !" he repined and raised his hands, to lift up the metal-boots. He could feel the metal and the slight resistance of it. Of course, it wasn't difficult to lift the metal up, but he did it too fast, so that he suddenly found himself sitting on the grass instead flying in the air. He could hear Charles' slight chuckle and stood up hastily."See!" he snarled, slightly angry at himself and at the chuckling Charles "I told you that it wouldn't work!"

Charles stopped the giggles and tilted his head to one side "My dear friend.." he said,with a wry grin "Did you really believe it would work with the first try? You have to try it several times until it will work."

Erik rolled his eyes and mumbled " What would you know."

Charles sighed "Remeber, when I tried to lift myself up?" Erik crossed his armes in front of his chest,but nodded "Yeah.." he answered. Of course he could remember, after all he had saved Charles from falling in to the pond. "See. I wasn't able to lift myself up,like you."

"Yeah,and now?"

Charles shrugged his shoulders "Well, I never tried it again afterwards. Though, I would be able to do fly, if I had trained."

Erik snorted "And, what am I supposed to do now? Train, until I am able to stand in the air?"

Charles gave him a sweet smile "Yes, dear, that sounds like a beginning." Erik could have screamed, but of course he stayed calm. Okay,fine, he would try to stand in the air, it couldn't be that difficult !

And so he raised his hands again, trying to lift the boots and himself, a bit slowlier now. Again, he landed in the grass. He cursed, stood up again, and raised his hands. This time he would use Charles' watch to steady himself.

And, it helped. Though, it was difficult to focus on his shoes, the watch, and his balance. He lost his balance more than once after his first try, and he was nearly at the end of his patience. He had done everything what had to be done, why wasn't he able to stand in the air for more than just some god damn seconds !

"Don't stress yourself."Charles said calmly and sat down next to Erik, who sat in the grass, his knees against his chest. "Haha !" he hissed, irritably "Easier said than done !"

"Just remeber the point between rage and serenity. And don't focus too much on what you're doing, try to focus on your powers. You'll see, it will practically work on its own."

He stood up again and reached for Erik's hand "Another try?" he asked ,with an innocent expression. Erik sighed, actually he had enough, but he took Charles hand and raised himself up.

"Okay." Charles stood in front of Erik, his blue eyes glistening in the light of the sun "Maybe you should close your eyes. Okay, good. Now think of it, about the flying. Tell yourself that you are able to fly. Okay? And now, reach for your powers."

Erik did what he was told. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on his powers, and tried to tell himself that he was able to fly. Of course, he didn't really believe it, but he could at least try to believe..

First,he felt nothing. Not even the metal of the watch or the shoes. But then he felt a jerk, and his hands seemed to raise themselves on their own. He could feel his powers, which began to pull him slowly upwards. When he could hear Charles' laughter of joy and enthusiasm, he decided to open his eyes.

His breathed stoped in his throat and a grin began to spread across his lips. He was flying, and not only some inches above the ground, no, it were several meters !

"You did it !" he could hear Charles shouting, and he was almost able to see the wide grin of his friend in front of his eyes. He laughed. This was so utterly stupid, but he couldn't help but like it. He was flying ! He was able to fly with his powers ! Who would have thought that?

He almost lost his balance, waving his arms to stay in place, but it wasn't able to hold himself in the air anymore. He fell forward, only to fly upside down in the air, his metal-boots holding him upwards.

Charles laughed out, although Erik wasn't really amused. "Haha,you should see yourself !"

Erik rolled his eyes and tried to stuff his turtleneck into his trousers. He didn't want to fly around half nacked..

"Shall I help you?"

Erik was to proud to accept any help so he shook his head, what looked really weird in his position "NO!" he screamed down at Charles, who looked up to his flying friend "I can handle this on my own!"

It wasn't that easy to guide himself back to the ground, and he nearly hit the ground with his head, but at least he managed to do it on his own.

"Wow, Erik, see, I told you that you would be able to fly!" Charles was totally over the moon; he seemed to be more excited than Erik himself " You have so powerfull Erik, that's so groovy! I can't imagine all the things you can do with your powers, you're so awesome !"

Erik coughed ,almost embarrassed "Charles,stop that, I'm-" he paused when he saw Charles unfocused gaze. "Something happened to Sean.." he mumbled, and turned around.

"Charles, wait !" he hurried after his friend, who walked with fast steps towards the trees, the spot where Alex and Sean should be. "Charles, wait ! What happened?" Erik walked now next to Charles, who stared in the direction of the trees. Only now Erik noticed the smoke and several fallen trees. Looked like the training of Sean and Alex hadn't went as well as Charles had hoped..

"Profesor, Profesor !" Hank walked towards them, Raven in tow "What happened? We saw smoke and..." "Sean.." Charles didn't stop, he walked up to the trees "I fear that something went wrong with their training..."

"Yeah,that we could figure out .." Raven mumbled.

"Is the boy alright?" Erik asked,although he could see that Charles seemed worried."No,I don't think so..I can feel pain, but I don't know what is wrong with him."

They reached the trees, when suddenly Alex stumbled towards them. He looked a bit tousled, and his clothes were dirty, but otherwise he was unharmed.

"I'm sorry !" he stuttered "I-I we trained, and-and I somehow lost control ! I-I tried to control my powers, without Hank's equipment, like you told me, but I blasted up Sean, and now he is somewhere under one of the trees, and I can't find him ..." he trailed off. He wasn't near tears, but everyone could see that he was a nervous wreck.

"It's okay, Alexander, we'll find him.." Charles answered calmly, but Erik could see that he was troubled. Erik could almost feel how Charles blamed himself for the happening. He grabbed the shoulder of his friend and squeezed it slightly "It's not your fault.." he whispered, only for Charles to hear. "Oh, my friend, I fear it is..." Charles answered, very quietly. "Do you know where he is?" he asked Alex, who shook his head "No...It happened mere minutes ago, there was to much smoke , I couldn't see anything.."

"Hank, Erik, would you please come with me, we're searching for Sean. Raven, go back to the mansion with Alex." Alex looked depressed and shook his head "No,please, I'm so sorry ! I want to search for-"

"Alex, now !" Charles was stern " I know, you didn't mean what you have done, and you are not to blame, but please go back to the mansion, alright !"

Alex swallowed and nodded again. "Come.. " Raven took his hand and they both went up to the mansion. Hank and Erik were already searching for Sean, and Charles joined them with their search, his hands on his temple, trying to find Sean. God damn,this was all his fault !

_There !_" Hank,Erik!" Erik looked up to see Charles' wide, blue eyes, his finger pointing at one of the trees to their left. Hastily he and Hank hurried to the fallen tree. Yes, now their could see him. He was lying under the fallen tree; he seemed unharmed but wasn't able to free himself. Anyway, he was unconscious. That must be the reason why Charles had missed him. Erik noticed the odd angle of the right arm, and came to the assumption that it was broken.

"Damn,I'm not a great help.." he huffed while trying to lift up the tree trunk together with Hank. This time there was no iron to help.

"Wait, let me.." Charles raised his hand, his eyes fixed on the tree trunk "I don't know how long I'll be able to lift the trunk up, try to hurry but be carefull, I think he probably has some broken bones." then he closed his eyes, and began to raise his hand upwards.

The tree trunk moved slightly, until it began to float up into the air. Hank and Erik didn't wait long, they hurried to Sean. Hank steadied the trunk and Erik carefully lifted up Sean, who stayed unmoving. "Hurry..." Charles hissed through clenched teeth; his face destroyed with stress.

Erik and Hank jumped hastily away from the trunk. Not a second to late; the trunk fell back to the ground with a loud thud. "Is he alright?" Charles asked , panting. Erik wasn't able to tell anything, but Hank seemed to know a bit more "It seems like his right arm his broken. Looks really ugly. Luckily,no bone broke through the skin. I think, he also must have some cracked ribs, because of the impact with the tree. His breath is steady, but I fear his puls is to low."

Charles nodded, then he turned to Erik "I'll tell Raven that she should call an ambulance. Erik, you'll bring Sean back to the mansion. We'll wait there for the ambulance."

Erik could she how stressed Charles was, and he could also see the self-blame in those blue eyes."Charles, it isn't -" he began, but Charles turned away from him " Hurry now !" he said, his shoulders slumped forward and his voice trembling. He raised his hands to his temple, and Erik knew that he was contacting Raven.

"We should go now.." Hank mumbled, and Erik was aware that the boy was right. So they went to the mansion, Erik and Hank. Charles stayed behind, though he followed soon after.

The ambulance came within twenty minutes, far to long for Erik's opinion. They didn't ask any questions, but Erik wasn't sure if it was because of Sean's condition,or because of Charles. They assured that Sean would be alright, and offered two of them to come with them to the hospital. Of course, Alex was the one who wanted to escort his best friend to the hospital, and Charles would follow as well.

Erik was left in the mansion, back with Hank and Raven, and a really weird looking Moira. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, but it wasn't something good, not when she had this expression on her face.

Was she disgusted, because of Hank and because of what had happened to Sean? Or, was she confused? Was she in fear? Erik coudln't tell, but he was sure that it wasn't something good. He didn't trust her, and he wished she wasn't here.

"We won't stay for long.." Charles said, in a low voice "We wait until we know that he is alright, then we'll come back. Tomorrow we might be able to visit him all together. Hopefully he can soon come back to us."

Then they left. Raven sighed, mumbling something, and Hank hugged her tightly, telling her that everything would be alright. They left the room, and Erik was left with Moira, who was silent. It had been training, a normal training.

No one could have known that it would and like this.

But, powers are powers, and you have to be careful with them.. Once again, Erik was reminded of weapons...

* * *

><p>He Yo,Orangneto is finally back in da house !<p>

Omg, one week without writing..Of course I had some fun,but I missed the writing a lot! Uhh,but now I am back^^

( thanks for the long waiting, I'm sorry ,but now I have more time to write ^^"( pinkie,manly, promise! xD)

Ah, well, I made a pic of flying Erik...You can find it on deviantart (anyone of you there :D? )  
>Actually, it was the reason why I wrote this part about flying xD<p>

Okay, thanks 100 times for the reviews, favs and alerts ( I never ever got so many, momomom :D ) and see ya !


	15. Chapter 14:My fault

**Chapter 14**

The ride was long, at least for Alex and Charles.

None of them spoke; an unpleasant silence lay upon them, and Charles wished that someone would say anything,something, just to fill the gap between them.

He felt horrible,so horrible, because it was his fault, all this, and he wished he had listened to Alex. He was so sorry, and he wished he could show that somehow, but his mind was blank, and he didn't know what to do. He could just sit here with Alex, and wait.

He had been so stupid, so dewy-eyed! He should have seen that they weren't able to train without supervision! But he couldn't turn back time, he could just sit here and hope.

And they sat there, in the waiting room. And waited, and waited, and waited..

Charles didn't count the hours, though it weren't as many as he thought. They waited for five hours, two hours in which neither of them spoke a word.

He could feel it, Alex's anger, which was directed at himself and at Charles. Yes, the boy was right to be angry at him. Charles wanted him to be angry at him, because the boy was not to blame. It hadn't been Alex fault. It simply wasn't..

Then, when the nurse came and told them that Sean was alright, that he had a broken arm and two cracked ribs, that he had no inner injuries, that they could visit him, then Alex spoke. "Can we see him?" he asked, concerned.

The nurse smiled, and told him that they could see him, though he wasn't awake. They could visit him tomorrow, she said, and that he would be able to leave within a week, maybe two. She lead them to the room, and they entered it silently.

Sean looked better than expected, although still pale. He was connected to a drip, and his right arm was bandaged, as well as his chest, which fell and rose slowly with every breath.

They sat down on chairs next to the bed and watched the ginger-haired boy, who wasn't aware of their presence. Alex stared blankly at his friend. Charles could feel his relief, his anger, and his sorrow. He should say something, anything, but again he didn't know what. He wished he could comfort Alex, but what could he say, apart from that it wasn't his fault?

"Alex..."he said, quietly, his voice sounding loud in the almost empty hospital room "...It wasn't your fault.. Sean knows that."

The blonde-haired teen laughed dryly "It was my fault .." he said bitterly "..but it also was yours. Cause you're the one who told us to train like this." And his voice was so full of bitternes, that Charles wished that they had stayed silent.

"I know..." he answered calmly "...and I wished, that I hadn't.."

Alex laughed again and shook his head " A bit too late for that now, what?" Charles didn't blame him for acting like this. He was right.

"I've hurt my friend.." Alex clenched his jaw .."I've hurt my friend, and for what? For controllin' my power, for training.. For what?" he turned his gaze towards Charles, who wasn't looking at the teenager. He couldn't. It would break his heart, because it was his fault." For another war? For killing? Is it that what you train us for? What are you planning, ' Professor X' ?"

Charles sighed, his eyes on his folded hands. What was he doing?

Alex attack against Sean had been an accident. But, what if they were going to fight against Shaw? What, if the teenagers would be attacked? Those attacks would be aimed straight at them, and they would hurt them even more than Havok's accidentally attack. What was he thinking; to let those teenager fight against someone who could kill them? Why was he so irresponsible? They could die! Die, because he had been to blind to realize that they were only kids. They were not supposed to fight..

Alex snorted, misunderstanding his silence. "I see..." he said, slowly "Ya have no clue."

And then they remained silent again.

...

Alex and Charles returned back to the mansion, in the middle of the later afternoon. Alex was quiet, looking pissed. He didn't talk to anyone; he just dissapeared into his room. Raven was worried, Erik could see it in her yellow eyes.

Charles told them that Sean was alright, that they would be able to visit him all together, tomorrow. He had this smile on his lips, the smile that he always had on his lips,but his eyes weren't smiling.

"Everything will be alright." he assured "Don't worry; Raven, Hank." and then he dissapeared into his room as well. He said, that he had to make notes and sketches for the new Cerebro. He did not want anyone to interrupt him,he told them so.

Raven was relieved, glad that Sean wasn't hurt too bad. Hank smiled at her, then they both decided to go to Alex. They had to cheer him up, that was what they told Erik.

Erik was left in the living room,with his own thoughts.

The evening came, and the mansion was quiet. Moira wasn't here, she had left before Alex and Charles had returned. Raven , Hank and Alex were in the livingroom, talking,laughing.

Erik,however, didn't join them. He just watched them, silently, his book in his hand. He didn't read. How could he,when his mind was somewhere else?

Charles was still blaming himself. Why? Why couldn't he see that he had done nothing wrong, that it had been a damn accident? Erik sighed and closed his book, then he stood up and placed the book on the small table next to the armchair.

"Hey, Magneto, where ya goin' ?" Alex, who was sitting on the couch, had turned to Erik, his arms on the arm of the couch. Erik's lips became a thin line, and his eyes narrowed just slightly "I'm going to look for Charles." he said, slowly.

Those childish names..

" He, but he told us to stay away from his room,right? I mean, he told us not to bother him, heh. I think, ya should leave him alone." Erik shook his head, a cold smile on his lips " He told you not to bother him, not me."

Now it was on Alex to make a grimace. "If you think so!" he nearly spat and turned back to Hank and Raven.

"Maybe it is a good idea, Erik." Raven stood up and nodded towards him "You should look for him. He hasn't eaten anything today. Maybe you can bring him something?" she didn't wait for his answer, instead she walked past him, out of the room " I make him a sandwich!"

And so Erik followed Raven into the kitchen , and watched her. She took out a tray from the counter, putting a glas with water and a plate on it, then she made the sandwich.

"He still blames himself,right?" she asked, while putting chees on the bread. Erik nodded, but then remembered that Raven couldn't see him, because she stood with the back to him. "Yes." he answered calmly.

She sighed "It's always like this. He always blames himself for everything." she shook her head and put the sandwich on the plate "He's such an idiot sometimes. A good-hearted idiot, of course. " she smiled, looking down on the green tray.

"He thinks to much,about everything. And he doesn't allow himself mistakes or failures. And, if he does make a mistake, he thinks about it too much. He takes it to serious. Even if everyone tells him that it is alright." she took a deep breath "Well, I hope you can cheer him up." she took the tray and pushed it into Erik's hands "Do a good job, I count on you."

She smiled warmly and turned around,leaving the kitchen. Sometimes, Erik had the feeling that she knew something that even he didn't know about them.

He walked up the stairs, carefully paying attention to the tray. He didn't want to spill the water..

The mansion was dark, and quiet; exept for the teenagers in the living room. He walked to the door, from which he knew it was the door to Charles' room, and carefully balanced the tray on one hand.

He raised his hand, to knock at the door, when Charles' voice answered from behind the door "Come in,Erik." Ah,right. Charles must have sensed him anyway.. So, Erik opened the door with a flick of his wrist. The light in the room was bright, Erik had to blink several times, so that his eyes became used to the garish light.

He carefully closed the door and turned to Charles, who sat with the back to him at his desk. " You can put it on the table there." Charles gestured to the nightstand, not turning around to face Erik, who didn't move. "Maybe you should stop your work, and eat something now. Raven told me-"

"It's okay, Erik. I make a break as soon as I've finished this sketch, thank you."

Charles voice was business-like, it was difficult for Erik to tell what was going on inside the head of the telepath. But, he could tell that nothing was okay.

Charles sat in this slouched position, that one that he always had when something was bothering him. "Ach Charles.. " Erik sighed, and walked to the nightstand, to put the tray on it. "You really should make a break. It's not good to work too much."

"It's alright." Charles assured him, his gaze fixed on the paper in front of him. "I sometimes work too much, then I forget to eat.. Only this paper, then I'll make a break, I promise."

Erik crossed his arms in front of his chest, a gesture that he always did when he didn't agree with something. Though,it was also a gesture that was one of his favourites, just because it was comfortable.. "Fine. Then I'll wait."

Charles laughed out, but it wasn't his normal, cheerful laughter, though he tried to sound cheerful. "That is not necessary, my friend. I am a grown man, you can believe me."

Erik rolled his eyes "Sure. And after I'm gone you throw it out of the window."

Charles laughed, and this time it sounded a bit more real "What are you thinking of me?" then he turned serious again. Erik still couldn't see his face, but he could hear it in his voice "So,you can go now. I have to work, and I rather do it on my own. You know, I need some privacy to work..." he trailed off.

"No." Erik answered, his voice stern " I won't go, because I can't afford to leave you alone in this state. "

"In ' this state'? " Charles asked with a laughter, a dry laughter "What do you mean? Do you think that I'll throw myself out of the window, as well as the food? I am not suicidal, you know." "

" That you should stop to blame yourself for what happened, that's what I mean !" Erik walked up to his friend, who turned his head to the other side. "Charles, we all told you ; stop blaming yourself. It was an accident. "

Charles snorted, his hands playing with the pencil in his hands "I was a fool. I should have known that there is a high risk, but I was to blind to realise that they are still teenager, who can't controll their powers." he gripped the pencil even tighter, almost breaking it "Everything...Everything is going wrong, Erik. Everything that I do... I just make everything worse... Damn !"

He hung his head, and Erik was sure that he heard a silent sob. "Hey..." he put a hand on Charles' shoulder "Don't say that. I mean, yeah, maybe things went a bit wrong lately, but it isn't only your fault. Sometimes things go wrong, it just happens." he leaned towards his friend, who stared at the pencil in his hands.

"No." Charles said, his voice a bit raspy " No, this time it didn't just happen. I was the one who nearly destroyed New York City, I am the one who can't controll his powers, I am the one who told them to train, I am to one who has no clue what we're actually doing ! My friend, I am the one who makes the failures ! Always!"

Erik didn't know what to say as he looked at his friend, who tried to blink away the tears of anger and despair.

"I don't know what to do..." Charles continued, his gaze on the pencil in his hands, a bitter smile crossing his lips "Normally, I know what to do. I am an optimist; I trained my self to be one, because it is useless to drown in selfpity...But this time I feel so helpless.." he pressed his lips together and looked at Erik, those blue eyes full of self-hate and pain "Something is happening with me, Erik. There is something in my head, a voice..It won't leave me alone..." he trailed off, his voice sounding smaller and smaller.

"Charles.." Erik sighed and knelt down next to the chair, taking Charles' trembling hands in his own "Why haven't you told us anything?"

Charles looked at their hands, his breath as shaky as his hands "I ..I thought it would go away.." he admit. "And...I thought I can handle it on my own.."

Erik shook his head,squeezing Charles's hand slightly "You are an idiot, Charles." he said it with a small smile, and with a warm voice "I thought you know that the brats and I are always there for you."

"Yes,of course I know that.." Charles smiled slightly, still not looking at Erik.

"So,maybe we can ask Hank, to help you I mean. I am sure that he can tell us what is wrong with-" "Wrong?" Charles' hands balled into fists "Wrong?" he asked again, almost yelling, his voice a tone higher than normally " There is nothing wrong with me ! Nothing !"

"Charles, I..." Erik was perplex by the sudden change of mood "I just tried to find a way to help you." he then said, his voice soft and soothingly. Charles head turned to him, his eyes a shade darker than normally "I don't want any help!" he nearly pushed Erik away, who almost tilted backwards. Charles stood up , looking down at his friend with a wild gleam in his, now red, eyes.

"But, you need help." Erik answered calmly as he stood up, his hand reaching for Charles "You yourself told me so. You don't need to yell at me, we can go through this toge-"

_"Shut up! Shut the hell up! I don't want to hear anything!You are lying ! You try to tell me that I am not in control! You try to tell me that I am wrong ! Leave me alone !" _Erik winced as he heard the voice in his head, darker than Charles' but still Charles'.

The things in the room began to quake; the light flickered dangerously and Charles' usually so calm face was destroyed with rage.

"Charles !" Erik's voice was stern, his eyes narrowing " Stop this !"

_" You try to give me commands? You try to stop me ! You are nothing!"_

The loose things in the room began to float up into the air, while the light was still flickering; the tray on the nightstand, the vase on the old wardrobe, the blanket, the carpet on the wooden floor, the curtains...

_Like in New York City_, Erik thought, as he watched in horror as his friend began to turn into something else; something that was not human, but also not a mutant..

Suddenly, Charles stepped forward, his bright, red eyes on Erik ; red eyes which looked as if they had a fire inside.

_"You said you love me.."_ the voice in his head purred, and those unnatural red eyes became even darker, like the skin under them. Charles' hand reached for him with thin finger,his already pale skin almost white. _"Do you still love me?"_

Erik took a step back, his eyes not leaving the face of the man in front of him . Again, a mood swing. He had to be careful about what he was going say..

Charles looked different now. Yes, he looked still like Charles, but there was a dark atmosphere around him; a dark atmosphere which made him look both; deadly and beautiful. Perfect. Too perfect. Almost fake. Like a living picture, a living stature out of marble; made to be perfect forever.

_"Do you love me, Erik?" _the voice now sounded innocent,inquiring ,almost childlike. _"Tell me, please, Erik.." _those dark red lips were moving, but the voice was in his head; so soft,like velvet.

Erik cleared his throat "Yes.." he finally said, honestly "I told you that I love you. And I still love you now. "

Charles' lips moved up into a smile, his dark eyes half-closed. With mere steps he was directly in front of Erik, and only some second later they kissed. It was a deep, wild kiss, nothing in compare to their first kiss.

Charles' hands came up to rest on Erik's cheeks, while their tongues were battling. Erik's hands rested on Charles waist. Both had their eyes closed, and only opened them when they broke the kiss, to take some air, both gasping.

_"You really do love me.."_ the voice in his head spoke, and he could feel the pleasant surprise of the other man. Then Charles smiled. The things slowly began to settle back to their normal place, and the light stopped flickering.

Erik could feel his fast hearbeat and the heat of their kiss, but there was something else he could feel. Love. Not his own, but the love that Charles had for him.

"Thank you." Charles finally said , and it was his own voice which spoke. But his eyes were still red, and his face still too abnormally beautiful to be his own, real face.

"For what?" Erik finally asked, his left eyebrow raised upwards.

"For everything. " Charles said "For being here, for loving me,..." he trailed off. His brow began to furrow, and his red eyes flickered from red to blue and back to red.

"Erik.." he then breathed , his hands falling from Erik's face down to clutch the fabric of Erik's turtleneck, his voice full of pain and need "Erik, help me !"

Erik blinked as Charles leaned forward, to rest his forhead against Erik's chest; his breath shallow and his hands tightening into fists, grabbing Erik's turtleneck in a death-like grip. "Erik, please help me !" Again, the light began to flicker, and this time two of the bulbs actually shattered into pieces.

"Charles, calm down!" Erik grabbed Charles by his shoulders and tried to calm him down, but the room just began to quake even more. "Hey, everything is alright.." Erik tried to soothe his friend, whose body trembled violently against his own.

"It's okay, I am here, I will help you." What did he say? Why was he always telling Charles that he would help him, if he wasn't even sure what was wrong with his friend? Wasn't it wrong to make a promise,by which he was not sure whether he could keep it or not? But, when he looked down at his friend, he felt guilt. He had promised Charles to help him, back then in New York City, and now it was as bad as before,maybe even worse. He hadn't realized how taken Charles was from the whole thing. But, how could he? It wasn't his fault, Erik knew this, and nor Charles'.

"Take a deep breath, calm yourself, I am here, and I won't go. I will try to help you,together we can make it." he sounded so sure, so convinced, but actually he wasn't that sure.

Charles breath began to calm, and his trembling wasn't as bad as mere minutes before. They silently stayed there, in the middle of the room; Charles at Erik's chest, while Erik had his arms around Charles, trying to comfort him.

Several minutes passed by until Charles took a deep breath and looked up at Erik, his eyes a brilliant blue now "I am sorry.." he breathed, and his grip tightened even more, as if he suddenly was afraid that Erik would leave him alone. "You don't have to be." Erik answered calmly, his greenish grey eyes on Charles. "It is not your fault"

Charles pressed his lips together, than he nodded slightly "Yeah..." he finally said, slowly, a small smile on his lips, which had their normal color again "Maybe you're right."

* * *

><p>Hey yo, Orangneto speaks to you!<p>

Well, hello my friends. Today I have nothing important to tell you, besides the fact that I love you guys. Aww, I love reviews. Uh,and all those alerts!Holy f*, I never thought I would get so many! Or the favs! I am always surprised again! Thanks !

Sooo, actually I had planned a bit more ErikxCharles action in this Chappy, but somehow they both seemed to act on their own xD Haha,well, stubborn ..  
>Heh,but somehow I will manage a bit more 'Cherik' ...That's what they call it, right? O_o<br>Hm, so, what do you think? Tell me,yo!

See you around,buddies ! :)


	16. Chapter 15: What you can create

'Chapter 15

They were lying together on the bed, the tray with the food and the notes forgotten. Neither of them had said a word for a long time.

Erik looked thoughtfully, his right leg over his left, his hands folded on his stomach. Charles had his eyes closed, looking as if he was asleep, his head rested on Erik's shoulder ,his arms around Erik's upper body.

It was late in the night now, maybe one or two o'clock; the kids were asleep already, the mansion was quiet. It had started to rain one hour ago, and they still could hear the patter against the window.

"What are you thinking about ?" It was Charles who asked calmly; his voice steady and with a normal tone, not like few hours ago.

Erik raised one eyebrow; his head turned to Charles, who returned his gaze with bright, blue eyes. "Who says that I am thinking about something?" the metal-bender asked, his voice slightly amused.

Charles blinked and Erik was sure he would tilt his head to one side ,if it wouldn't lie on Erik's shoulder. "I can feel it. " he simply answered .

Erik sighed; why had he asked anyway? It was almost impossible to hide something from the telepath.

"Fine. I am thinking about our whole situation. About Shaw, about your-" he paused, untill he finally said " - new powers. " he stopped, then he added "About us.."

Charles eyed him, and Erik had the feeling that those brilliant blue eyes stared right into him. It almost made him shiver, but he told himself to stay calm. This was just Charles, he wouldn't harm him.

"Well, that's a lot. " Charles admitted "Maybe you should stop thinking for now. It's late at night, and-" a grin crossed his lips "- it causes you to frown, and that makes you look old."

Erik grunted in disbelieve "Is that so? Hah,tells me the one who's going to be bald."

"Hey, leave my hair out of it; it has nothing to do with this!" Charles pouted,giving Erik a slight push in his side.

Erik smirked at Charles' played frustration "I am sorry, ' professor'."

"Tzzz, I call you ' my friend, the shark' from now on."

Erik rolled his eyes, leaning back at the bedframe and the pillow "I thought I was 'Sharkneto?'"

"Yeah, that too. But, 'My friend, the shark' sounds groovier. Almost like ' Lassie' ." he laughed at that thought; imagining Erik,running after him like Lassie,the famous collie dog, helping him out of dangerous situations. Even Erik had to smile "You like to associate people with animals, don't you?"

Charles shrugged his shoulders "No,just you."

"Oh,I feel honored." he patted Charles wavy hair, and now it was on Charles to raise one eyebrow " You're still the lab rat. "

"Lab rat? Still? Wow, first I am an old, bald man, and now I am a rat? Really, Erik, can't you think of something that suits me ?"

Erik made a grimace and pretended as if he was considering about names . "Adorable lab rat?" he asked.

Charles opened his mouth, and it almost looked as if he had a look of disbelief on his face, then he laughed out " Really, Erik, you are so creative." It was full of irony, and made Erik laugh as well.

"I know. " he answered, and Charles smiled up at him.

"Well..." Charles said, leaning forward, so that their noses were thoughing "I think, it is a weird couple. A shark and a rat.. What will the world think of this couple? Will they be able to stay together, to have a family and a life together, until they are old and grey?"

Erik reached forward, placing his hands on Charles' cheek "Honestly?" he asked, his voice low "I think, that they don't care what others think about them. And, who can tell what the future brings?"

Charles' eyes curved upwards with his smile, and Erik closed the distance between them , to kiss Charles. The kiss was long and deep, and after they broke away the both had to gasp for air.

"Wow, I have to admit, you're a good kisser." Charles said,more panted, as he brushed a strand of hair behind his ear.

"Well, thanks." Erik grinned, as he leaned back against the frame.

Charles sighed and leaned his head back on Erik's shoulder, his left hand on Erik's, which were back on his stomach. "You think we gonna make it , through all this? Do you think there will be a happy end?" It was weird to hear this questions from Charles, who normaly was such an optimist.

"It us up to us to create our future. " Erik answered calmly, his eyes on Charles, who looked straight ahead. He felt Charles' body vibrate as he chuckled "Create? We? But, I thought we just found out that you're not creative."

Erik was still smiling as he answered "Maybe not creative with descriptions, but that doesn't mean that I am not able to be creative enough to create a new world."

He heard Charles' sigh "A new world, huh?" he asked, almost sad. Erik didn't answer, they had talked about this subject already. He still was no friends of the humans.

He almost felt as if he had ruined the moment, and maybe he really had. But, should he lie?

They stayed silent for several minutes , until Erik finally decided to speak "So, are you going to tell Hank about the problem with your powers?"

When he got no answer, he turned his head to the side, just to see that Charles' eyes were closed, and his breath calm and steady. He was asleep.

Erik smiled slightly, carefully taking Charles hand in his own. They would go through this. They would talk to Hank, and Hank would know what was wrong with Charles because; if Charles didn't know what was wrong , Hank would know it. Hank was a intelligent boy, he would know what to do. And, after that, after Charles was okay again, they would go and search for Shaw. The he would kill him, and they would live happily together.

His smile turned into a grim expression. Of course, it wouldn't be that easy. The humans would try to disturb and destroy their peace, but... Was he wrong, to believe in a bit of time of peace and quiet? He began to squeeze Charles' hand slightly, receiving a deep breath from Charles.

Finally he knew that Charles felt the same for him.

Finally he was sure that Charles was in love with him as well.

He should be happy, more than happy, but somehow he couldn't be as happy as he wanted. The happenings of the last few days weighed on his heart , and so he wasn't able to feel completly happy.

His eyes began to wander over Charles' calm face, his closed eyes, his slightly open lips, to his pale throat and down to his chest, covered with the fabric of the light blue shirt, rising and falling slowly with every breath. He loved this man, so damn much, and his fingers itched to touch the milky-white skin, to kiss him again... But , not now. Again, this was not the right time. He smiled bitterly.

He wished that there would be a time where they could love each other, without fearing anything; not the powers inside of Charles, not Shaw, not another war, not the humans, where they could just lay in each others arms, kissing each other..

His eyes closed at this thought, and his heart began to feel warm. And suddenly he was happy, just thinking about a time where everything would be better. Yes, he was clinging at the hope that everything would be good at the end. Maybe this was childish, maybe it was unreal, but he wouldn't stop hoping.

Not now; not when he finally had something which was worth to have the hope for a better future. Love.

Erik didn't know that Charles was wide awake, his eyes closed, lying next to Erik and listening to his calm breath.

He didn't want to tell Hank and the others that something was wrong. He didn't want them to think that he had no control over himself. What would they think what for a teacher he was? He wanted to be a role model for them; he wanted to give them a person in which they could believe. How was he able to give them such a person when he wasn't able to tell what was wrong with him?

He couldn't lose his facade now. He pressed his eyes closely together, trying to ignore the mocking voice inside his head.

Everything would be fine again. He just needed time; time to pick up the pieces in his mind, to build a wall around his soul, so that the phoenix wouldn't come in..

But, he knew it was to late. It had been to late when he had reached for the mind the force. He knew that it was too late; this wouldn't end good, and it made his heart ache.

He pressed himself further against Erik's body,his lips tightly pressed together. He had to stop the bad thoughts; for Erik's and his sake. He should stop whining, maybe there was still a way to stay sane.

...

"Hey,stop running in the halls; I told you,we are in a hospital! No Raven, I don't think that this is a good idea... Alex, are you eating again? We had had dinner one hour ago! Hank, you don't have to hide, if you don't want to; And, yes, the illusion I made looks exactly like your 'old' self, I know..."

Charles sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Oh well, even in the hospital they couldn't behave like normal people. He felt a headache comming along, and suddenly he was very glad that Erik was at his side, because Erik always seem to be able to handle the noisy teenagers.

"Such brats." Erik snorted as he watched Alex, who whistle as a blonde nurse walked past them. "Calm your mind, Erik." Charles smiled kindly, but could totally understand his friend. The kids could be really exhausting sometimes...

"Please, try to be calm when you enter Sean's room. He is not fully recovered yet and-" too late; Raven and Alex burst into the room, screaming like two madmen.

Raven was able to control her powers again,so that she now was in her blonde persona, although she said she would better like to walk around in her blue one. "Not now" Charles had said then "I think Hank is right. Maybe it is better to hide- for now."

She had been angry, he had sensed it, but she had agreed. "Only this time!" she had said, pointing with a finger at him , her other hand on her hip "Because I think we mutants shouldn't hide. "

Somehow , Charles had the feeling that she said that because of what Erik had told her, but he kept quiet about that fact. He was glad that she was able to control her powers again, and also that she finally was proud of her mutation and her appearance. He wouldn't ruin that.

"Seaaaaaan!" Raven chirped ,throwing herself down next to Sean on the bed "How are you?"

"Dude, you're looking awful! But, better than a day ago." Alex greeted his best friend.

Hank followed his friend, and Charles and Erik walked past him, shaking their heads at the behavior of the teenagers. "Sean." Charles greeted the ginger-haired boy " How are you today?"

Sean grinned , running a hand through his red hair "Well... I had better days, but no worry; I am fine."

Charles felt a wave of guild wash over him, but Erik gave him a stern gaze, almost saying " Stop the blaming yourself!" Charles nodded barely visible, then a brilliant smile crossed his lips , and he looked back at Sean, who was in a wild conversation with Alex and Raven.

"Isn't it boring in here?" Alex asked.

"Yeah,and those white walls would make me mad !" Raven rolled her eyes.

"Yes, indeed." Hank agreed. He wasn't much talking, he was more someone who listened quietly and agreed or disagreed.

"Yeah,it is really boring in here." Sean agreed, rubbing his eyes "I think I'm going blind because of all this white in here." he sighed.

Charles furrowed his brow, he was thinking about something, and before Erik could ask what it was he said " Well, I can change that."

Suddenly, the room was changing. The walls became green, the light of the window much more bright. Trees began to grow around them, and the floor began to turn into grass. Raven squeaked when suddenly a flower grew under her hand, which lay on the , now green, blanket. And soon they found themselve on a glade,in the middle of a forrest. Even birds could be heard and the smell of forest was in the air.

"W-Whoa, professor!" Hank gasped, and looked around, pushing his glasses upwards. "This is...amazing!"

"What did you do?" Erik asked, his eyes slightly narrowed.

"I controlled some parts in your brain. This, my friends, is an illusion."

"An illusion..?" Sean asked, carefully raising his not broken arme to touch a flower next to his head. "But,it feels so real..."

"Well, that is because this is in your head." Charles answered, a smile on his lips.

"In our head?" Alex asked warily "I thought, you would never go there without our permission."

"I told you, I would never read your mind. A simple illusion is nothing bad, I am not affecting much parts of your brains. I just wanted to make Sean feel a bit comfortable."

Charles was still smiling, his blue eyes boring into Alex's , and Alex flinched slightly.

"Charles, I thought you wanted to wait with the use of your powers; I thought we wait until we are sure what is causing you the problems." Erik said, his hand on Charles' arm, his face serious and even worried.

"My friend, this is just an illusion. Don't worry, I can handle this." Charles assured his friend with a whisper. Erik wasn't really convinced, he had still this frown on your face. "Erik, really." Charles said, with a little bit more emphasis "It is okay."

Actually, he already felt the headache behind his eyes, but he refused to tell Erik about it. Damn, he would be able to hold this little illusion. But, this look on Erik's face... It wasn't only convern,there was something else behind Erik's eyes, which suddenly seemed so grey.

Mistrust.

Charles flinched slightly, his eyes hastily back on the teenagers. He and Erik stayed silent for the hour they had , watching the children. Charles could feel that his friend was deep in thoughts; he felt it because he was inside of Eriks mind, to creat the illusion.

Charles bit his lower lip, trying to avoid to say something. Erik was right to mistrust him; who wouldn't?

He was a telepath, technically, he could have forced them all to stay with him. This all could be a lie that he had created. But, he hadn't created any lie. This was real, and he hoped that Erik knew this.

Erik was aware that Charles could possibly control them via mind, but he was also aware that he hadn't done that.

Not when he had such problems with his powers.

Of course, Erik should worry; it was only natural to worry about the fact that you are together with a telepath, who was able to see every bit of your soul; who could control you..But, he trusted Charles. More than anyone else.

He was sure that Charles was a good soul, hell, he had seen how pure hearted he was. He had saved him,without knowing him. He was sure that Charles wasn't controling them via mind.

He said that to himself, over and over again; that Charles would never control them. And slowly he relaxed, and Charles felt that.

He looked at Erik, his blue eyes questioning. Erik nodded slowly, and Charles looked back at the children, a smile on his lips, when suddenly;

The door opened.

Immediately, the forest began to fade, and suddenly they all were back in the white, ugly hospital room again, faces turned to the open door. They all were a bit taken aback, and the nurse eyed them with a questioning gaze as she said "You... have to go now. The hour is over."

"Oh,of course !" Charles gave her one of his brilliant smiles "We are on our way."

She nodded, but gave them a weird look, then she turned around and went out of the room. "Aww, already over?" Sean asked, looking sad.

"Yes, I am sorry." Charles walked up to him,placing a hand on his "But, we will visit you every day. We don't want you to feel alone." A smile crossed Seans lips "Thank you, professor." he said, and sounded truly glad.

"Charles, can't you stop the people in the hospital, so that we have some more time?" Raven asked, her eyes pleading.

Erik gave Charles a warning look, and Charles could almost hear the voice of his friend inside his head _"I dare you, Charles. We had a agreement about the use of your powers, remember that."_

But Charles ignored the 'voice' inside his head nad smiled at his sister. He coudln't say no..

"Of course, Raven. But-" he added calmly " -not for long." and his gaze wandered to Erik, whose lips were a thin line. Erik wasn't talking much around the kids; Charles couldn't quite tell why, maybe he was unconfortable or unsure around the children?

He liked to talk to Raven, but he didn't like to talk to the others, so it seemed. Maybe he wasn't someone who talked much? "Charles? Are you going to do it?" Raven asked.

"Ah,yes sorry, I was in thoughts." he rubbed his forehead and placed his two fingers against his temple. Erik grinned, and Charles knew why. _"I know, that I don't have to do use them." _he said into Erik's mind _"But I have to look groovie around the children. My image, you know..."_

And so he stopped the people, giving the teenagers some more minutes to talk to their friend.

_"When we are back home, you're going to talk to Hank."_ he heard Erik's voice inside his head, and he sighed.

He didn't want to.

What he didn't know- he wouldn't. Because he would be distracted again..

* * *

><p>Orangneto says h(a)i !<p>

Tumblr and it's McBender gifs changed my whole life xD Haha, I never will be able to look at them and think of something else...Or, see First Class, without thinking of the gifs and pics there...

You should take a look! xD Really,there is a really funny one, I think it was named _: its-fucking-tuesday_

Also you should take a look at  
><em>The Loveliest Nightmare<em> by _Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare_

It is one of my favourite X-Fics ever!

See you around guys, leave your reviews :3 I love you all!


	17. Chapter 16: Nightmares

Crawling / Papercut- Linkin Park

Happiness/ Kasabian

There are so many songs which seemed to be made for them :) Like some by Sum41(So long goodbye;Best of me;Over now; What am I to say;Happiness Machines;Pieces...) ,or by Kasabian (Seek & Destroy; Take aim now;Club Foot;Running Battle..) , for example.

Do you know any good songs for them?

* * *

><p>Chapter 16<p>

He has a nightmare. He isn't aware when he jerks up, his eyes wide, his heart beating faced and his breath ragged. His hands clenched into fists, and he is gripping the sheets tightly, the scenes still in front of his wide eyes.

Ash, falling from the skys, which are grey, dark grey, almost black.

The smell, he would never forget that smell, that burned itself into his nose, which didn't leave his clothes for month after month, and those cries, those horrible crys of the others, and then the gun and-

He shook himself out of the memory, trying to calm his breath. It was over, he was safe, at least he was safe..

The metall-bender took deep,long breaths; his eyes wide open, to afraid to close them again. He hadn't had any nightmares in the last time; he had felt so safe in the mansion, too safe...

Damn it! Shaw and the happenings were still in his mind, deep inside; he had almost forgotten about them..

He reached for the nighttable and opened the small drawer. His heart was still pounding wildly in his chest as he took the silver-coin out of the drawer, his fist tightly shut around it. The cold metal pressed into his skin, and he nearly growled. Lips tightly pressed together, he opened the fist, staring at the coin, Reichsmark, a bitter taste on his too dry lips.

The happenings, the nightmares, it wouldn't end. Not as long as Shaw was alive. He felt it, the feeling that was gone for so long; rage.

And , he also felt frustration. They hadn't reached Shaw yet, didn't even know where he was. Sure sure, Charles' health was far more important right now, even he had to admit this fact, but he couldn't suppress the desire to kill the man, to feel the sensation of having revenge..

First he thought it was himself who was shaking so badly because of rage, but soon he realised that it wasn't him who was shaking- it was the room.

He furrowed his brow, slipping out of the bed, his nacked feet hit the wooden floor with a small thud. Yes, he could feel the vibration, the whole floor was shaking.

That wasn't normal. That couldn't bee the washing machine, nor a car from outside. Nothing could let something shake like that,exept for- "Charles." he barely whispered, his eyes narrowing.

Without thinking twice he walked to the door. Charles' room was two guest-rooms apart of his. The hallway was empty, dark and quiet. Quiet, except for some small noises. They sounded like something was scratching over the wooden floor, like something heavy, something like furniture. Also some dull thumping, as if something was thumping against a big windows were reflecting the moonlight; the only light which lightened up the dark hallway.

The shadows were dark, only the lightspots from the window made it possible to see anything. He didn't even try to be quiet; Raven and Hank had their rooms almost one hallway away, Alex also. Sean was not here, and Charles probably deep asleep.

Erik took long strides up to Charle's door. He thought about knocking, but decided against it. He carefully opened the door and peered into the room.

He raised one eyebrow in surprise. Charles was, indeed ,deep asleep. He was lying in the bed, wrapped in the blanket, his back to Erik and the door. The room was dark, the curtains were closed on not even the moonlight shone into the old room.

Erik,however, could see and hear very well what was going on.

The furniture was moving. Slightly, just shaking, but it was enough to move the wardrobe and the table small inches over inches. The furniture was thumping against the walls,as well as the pictures , which hung at exactly this walls. Erik could see that the bed was shaking as well, and that small things, like pencils and paper, were hovering in the air.

Charles breath was faltering; Erik could hear and see his irregular breathing and the soft mumbling, the soft gasps and small noises he made.

Maybe he wasn't asleep? But, maybe he had a nightmare?

Erik walked into the room and closed the door, then he slowly walked up to Charles, who wasn't noticing him. Erik walked around the big canopy bed, one of these old ones which stood in every bedroom, the once wich looked so nice and comfortable. It was difficult to see Charles face in the dim light of the room, in the darkness, but he could see that the telepath's eyes were closed.

He leaned forward to the other man, studying his expression. Charles brow was furrowed, his lips moving silently, sometimes some small words or noises escaped them. His hands were tangled into the sheets, gripping it in a vice-like grip, his eye moving under the lids. So,it really was a nightmare..

Erik sighed; he should wake his friend up,otherwise Charles would probably destroy the room because of the dream. Or, was it actually a dream?

Erik reached for Charles' shoulder and began to shake him carefully "Charles-" he whispered "Charles, wake up. You're having a nightmare." The telepath pressed his lips together, his brow furrowed even more and the things began to shake uncontrollably. He could feel the presense of his friend in his mind, digging into it, like a whisper, fuddled words and thoughts, voices.

"Charles ." Erik said again, his hand wandered to the face of the man in front of him , until it lay on his cheek "Charles, wake up."

The voices grew louder, cluttered ,mixed-up, talking together in different languages at the same time. But, through the thick mist of voices he could hear one voice clearly, as if it was above them all, smooth, also jerky but different. It was a smooth voice, calm, soothingly but with an undertone of hidden darkness.

"_Erik_," the voice said, so warm and yet it made him shiver _"I have-control-I can-see them-I-hear it-it is-there- It is-so dark-I can not- want to-kill them all- I-Please-I need-I am-Erik..." _

Pain crushed through his body, and he nearly yanked his hand away from Charles, while the other began to tighten around the coin. It was a stabbing pain, and it didn't seem to ebb away. The pain in his head grew worse, and the voices became a blur of noises and sounds; he wasn't able to understand any word they said. "Charles !" he hissed through clenched teeth , his hand on Charles' cheek dug slightly into the smooth skin underneath its tips. "Charles, wake up!"

The things began to shake a lot more, the chair in front of the table crashed to the floor and the doors of the wardrobe began to open and close again and again. "Charles, calm your mind!" Erik nearly yelled this time "Charles, you're loosing it!"

Suddenly,without a warning, Charles' eyes snapped open and he startled up; his hand grabbed the wrist of Erik's hand , tightly, and his eyes are so wide,unfocused and full of horror that Erik took a deep breath of surprise.

"E-Erik!" he croaked, his lips trembling. He was looking so lost and so unlike Charles; his voice is shaky and sounding so broken, not like Charles at all "O-oh" he stuttered , letting go of Erik and gripping his head instead, his fingers grabbing his hair tightly and his eyes are wide, full of terror "M-Make them stop! Make them stop!Don't talk , Don't talk, god, m-make them stop, make them stop!"

Erik didn't know what to do! He had to calm Charles, he had to focus his mind onto something else..

"Charles, look at me ." he said, his voice a bit tremulous, but he forced himself to stay calm. Charles needed him now, he needed to have control over the situation,at least one of them..He needed something to hold on, and Erik would try to give him this something "Charles, look at me." he said again,this time with a steady voice.

Charles wildly shook his head , his eyes still unfocused and directed at the blanket and his lap. "Charles, look at me !" Erik said, again, with emphasis. Charles swallowed hard, his breath ragged and shallow.

Erik sat down on the bed, the coin was put in the pocket of his sleepwear-trousers, then he reached with both hands for Charles face. At first, it looked as if Charles was about to flinch away, but he stayed perfectly still.

"Charles..." Erik said, once again in this evening, his hands carefully rested at the side of Charles head, on his cheeks "...you have to calm your mind. You have to focus. Look at me; can you do that for me?"

Charles trembled slightly, then he slowly looked up and his eyes met those of Erik. They were a bright, fire-like red, once again. "E-Erik.." he nearly whimpered,his voice dry and oh so unlike Charles ..."Oh-oh god, Erik..K-Kill me, o-oh god, please, kill me..."

Erik's eyes opened wide, staring at Charles' pale face, and only now he saw the tears running down the face. "Please...Before I kill someone..Oh...h..hn.." Those word were so so unlike Charles, because Charles would never ask someone to kill him. Charles was someone who loved life, his life.

Charles must have seen something horrible, or maybe he was just confused and out of his mind. Erik couldn't believe that Charles really wanted him to kill him. No, no that could only be wrong.

"Charles, calm down. No one gets killed, and I am not killing you. You are under shock right now. Take some deep breaths, alright? Like this:..In-out...In-out..Right, that's good." his thumb brushed away the tears, and he smiled down at his friend, or should he say boyfriend now?

Charles was breathing in and out, taking deep breaths, looking into Erik's eyes as if he was lost in them. The things in the room began to stop moving, and Erik could hear some pencils clatter to the desk and floor.

"That's good, so it is fine.." Erik said, his eyes kind and his voice soothingly. Charles eyelids grew heavy, and the tears stopped falling down his face. His lips were slightly open, and Erik could hear every breath that Charles took.

Slowly, Charles' upper body leaned forward, his forehead against Erik's nacked chest, his arms stayed at his side, unmoving. Erik hesitated for one moment, than he put his arms around Charles and hugged him carefully, rocking back and forth, trying to comfort. Yes, it was a bit like he was calming a little boy, who just ran into the room of his daddy because he had had a nightmare.. First, Charles body was a bit stiff, but slowly he began to relax, and his breath became even.

Erik coudln't tell how long he sat there, in the dark room, in the middle of the night, with Charles in his arms. Charles was soon asleep again, this time without any problems.

Erik wasn't sure what to do than. Should he go back to his room? But, he couldn't leave Charles alone..And so he decided to stay, lying down together with Charles on the bed. He couldn't go back to sleep that night..

Tomorrow they would talk to Hank. Erik's arms tightened around the other man. He would make sure of that.

...

He awoke because of the rays of the sun, which shone bright and happily into his face. He groaned and turned around, his head pressed into his pillow. He felt light-headed and sleepy, but couldn't remember anything. Maybe just a bad dream?

"Get up,sleepy head!" his sister jumped next to him on the bed; she grabbed him by his shoulders and began to shake him "Up, up,up!"

"Raveeen!" he groaned frustrated and pressed his head furter into the pillow "Leave me alone!"

"Nope!" she giggled and now he felt her hands on his side. "Don't you dare-" he warned ,but it was to late. She began to tickle him, and he tried to push her off of himself. " Stop, Raven, please, good god, stop that!" he chuckled , trying to push her somehow away, without any success.

"No, you idiot!" she hummed "It's already one pm."

"WHAT THE HOLY FUCK!" Charles jumped up and Raven lost her hold,falling to the floor with an "ouch!" and a soft thud. "Why didn't you wake me up! Damn, Raven !" he began to hurry around in his room; he opened the wardrobe and sighed in frustration "Damn!" he hadn't had many clothes left, because he had forgotten to wash them.

"Damn!" he whined again and tried to smooth his hair down, which stuck wildly up from his head.

"I can lend you something." Raven grinned from behind "Maybe a nice skirt, or a dress..I bet they all think you are-" "OUT! OUT of my ROOM!" he screamed and shoved her out of his room, closing the door behind her with a loud bang.

"Uh,someone is havin' a bad day." Alex raised his eyebrow as he alked past Raven. "Uh,yeah!" she rolled her eyes "Really, sometimes I think he has his menstruation...He's even worse then me!"

"I'VE HEARD THAT, RAVEN!"

She flinched slightly and grinned wry "Sorry brother honey !" she screamed back with a sweet voice. Alex grinned, trying not to laugh out loud.

Charles pressed his lips together. Oh man, he began to hate the day already! He grabbed one of the trousers and began to dress, though he soon realised that he had no shirt left.

"Oh,bloody hell!" he cursed "This can't be true ! God damn it, argh!" He really had to lend a shirt , he couldn't walk around in just his cardigan. Maybe he could wear on of his winter pullovers, but it was only the beginning of autumn and not really cold...On the other hand, he didn't want to ask Raven for one of her T-shirts.

So he sighed and pulled out one of his blue pullovers. With a small smile he realized that it was a turtleneck.

He dressed quickly, hurried into the small bathroom next to his room, brushed his teeth and combed his unruly hair. With a glance in the mirrow he realized that he should probably shave , but he was already too late and so he decided to shave tomorrow. He sighed , smoothed his hair behind his ears and walked down into the kitchen.

Alex looked at him with a grin, but walked past him, with a jam sandwich in his hand. Raven seemed to be in her room, as well as Hank. Charles gaze wandered outside and he noitced the stormy he asked himself, if there was a mutant out there which could control the weather. Maybe then the sun would shine today.

He rubbed his eyes and began to search for the bread, only to find none. Also the view into the fridge was ..well..almost pitiful. _Shopping_, he added to his ' what I need to do' list , followed closely after '_ laundry'_.

Charles sat down on the kitchen chair, a bowl of cornflakes and a milk bag in his hand. He hadn't noticed that the milk was out-of-date, and he had to choke as he at one spoon of cornflakes and out-of day milk. "Shit!" he tossed the spoon on the table and leaned back in his chair.

A chuckle from behind made his head spun around "What?" he snapped, only to realize that it was Erik who stood in the doorway; his arms crossed and a grin on his face. "Oh , nothing.." he trailed off and walked up to Charles, who followed him with his gaze. Erik sat down on the chair opposite of Charles and leaned his arms on the table, eying Charles.

"Are you feeling alright, Charles?" he suddenly asked, and Charles could hear the hint of convern in his voice.

"Well, honestly?" he asked back, folding his arms in front of his chest " I feel awful! I woke up too late, had nothing to wear in my wardrobe, blamed to be in a bad mood because ' I have my ' menstruation', and I nearly had to vomit because I ate cornflakes with out-of-date' milk. Now I am hungry, 'm unshaven , in a bad mood, wearing a winter pullover in early autumn and sitting in the kitchen. Well, I guess, apart from that I am fine ." he gave his friend a smile, but the other man didn't reply the smile.

"Ah..." Erik said, his eyes slightly narrowed "And, nothing else?" Charles furrowed his brow "Well..." he said, making a grimace "Nope."

"Hm." Erik hummed, folding his hands together and leaning his chin on it. "Why are you asking?" Charles asked instead, leaning forward.

"Oh,I was just curios." he shrugged his shoulders but his eyes held still this weird look. "Ah,my friend, you're lying. C'mon, why are you asking me like that,eh? Do you have something special on mind?" he grinned, but again Erik's face stayed serious.

The grin was fading from Charles lips and he furrowed his brow again "What is it, Erik? You can be honest. Something is bothering you, isn't it? Have you had a nightmare? Is it because of the hospital thing? Are you angry at me because I used my powers? I feel a lot better right now, you don't have to worry about that."

Erik snorted and shook his head "Don't tell me, Charles. Don't tell me that everything is fucking right!" Charles raised his eyebrows "What do you mean..?" he asked,slowly, eyes not leaving Erik , who stared back at him with a stare glare.

" You need help, Charles. With your powers. Don't tell me that everything is oh so right and that you don't need any damn help!Your whole room was shaking, just because you've had a nightmare! " The metal-manipulator placed his hands on the table and leaned forward, so that he was nose to nose with Charles, who stared back with wide eyes "We are going to talk to Hank. Today "

Charles gulped "Ah,but-"

"No, Charles!" Erik snarled "Don't dodge this topic again!"

Charles pressed his lips together, his eyes began to wander down to the table between them "Fine.." he hissed. He heard Erik's sigh and then he felt a hand on his head "We're going to help you."

"Not my hair!" Charles flinched away from Erik's hand and gave him a dead-glare. A smirk began to spread across Erik's lips "Sorry." Charles sighed heavily and sat back down on his chair. He hadn't even realised that they both had been standing.

Actually, he didn't want to talk to Hank, nor to anyone else. He didn't want to show them how..pathetic he was. He felt vulnerable and like an idiot. His hands balled into fists and he leaned his head against his arms, which were propped up on the table.

"You don't want to talk to him, don't you?" Erik ask, and this time his voice was a lot softer than mere minutes before. "Yeah.." Charles nodded, although it was barely visible.

"Idiot." Erik mocked, though he didn't meant it. "Why?" Charles shrugged his shoulders and lifted his gaze, so that he now looked over his hands at Erik. " I think..." he said, slowly " I think I am afraid." and his voice was sounding so damn small and broken, he could slap himself for it.

"Charles.." Erik gave him a compassionate smile and laughed softly "Why are you afraid?"

"I...honestly don't know." he said frankly, his eyes turned back to the table again "I think it is the whole sitation and..And I think it is also the opinion and feelings of the others. I don't want them to be afraid of me.." he trailed off, and his voice was heavy and sad.

"But,all over that.." he continued "..I am afraid of myself." he smiled dryly.

"That is only normal." Erik assured him and grabbed his hands "I mean, it's something new. And-" he added after some moments "-also something dangerous. But, I think it is better to ask for help. Better now , not when it is too late already."

Charles looked at him for mere minutes, then he nodded slightly "Yes... Yes, you're right,Erik." he laughed softly "And again, I have to say 'thank you' ."

Erik grinned and let go of Charles hand "Yeah, say thank you to your master." Charles coughed and raised his eyebrows "Whoow, wait, I never said anything like that."

Erik's grin widened and he winked at Charles "Sure. We see each other at 4 pm , in front of the lab." his voice was stern and no buts were allowed. He then walked to the kitchen door, while Charles sat at the table and tried to figure out what Erik meant.

So ,now he had to face the facts. Yeah, he was afraid of what Hank might find out. 4 p.m... Only two and a half hour left..

He heard some steps but didn't turn around when he heard Erik's voice again. "Charles?"

Now Charles turned his head around "Yes?"

"Nice pullover."

* * *

><p>Orangneto, yo.<br>Okay, this chappy was a bit ..unspecial xD? I know, you're waiting for more action,right? Don't worry, there WILL be more action ( uh, and the end is no where near xD) So, next chappy they're going to talk to Hank. And, what else? Hm Hm hm!*manly cough xD*  
>100 alerts! Bloody fuck yeah! :D<p> 


	18. Chapter 17: Of parasites and love

**Chapter 17**

It was 4 pm, Erik and Charles had met in front of the iron lab door and stood now in the middle of the big room, which was full of equipment and machinery. Hank stood in front of one of the lab tables; his head lowered to write something on a paper. "Oh, Professor, Erik.." Hank greeted them, looking up from his current work. "Do you need the lab? "

Charles rubbed the back of his neck, a smile on his lips " Ah, no." he said , slowly, and Erik gave him an insistent gaze. Charles could hear his voice inside his head, telling him to speak further. "Actually, I need to talk to you.." he then said, a bit lame.

"Oh,sure. " Hank put the paper aside "What is it? About the new Cerebro? I am almost done with looking through the notes."

"No, no, not about Cerebro." Charles sighed, while walking up to Hank "It's about..Well, I need a advice, a medical advice.." he trailed off. He didn't want to talk about his insanity , about voices inside his head, because this was pretty normal for a telepath.

Hank raised on eyebrow, then his gaze went from Charles to Erik and back. "You..." he said,slowly " Need an advice..." he pointed at them both .

"No,just Charles." Erik said, rolling his eyes, his arms behind his back and his gaze cold as ever. "Yeah, I've got that." Hank gave Erik an almost annoyed look, then he looked back at Charles.

"I didn't know where to go else, and Erik can't really help me with it." Charles continued, and Hank's brow furrowed even more. Charles really had the urge to read his mind, because the way he looked at them...

"You are not pregnant or something,aren't you?"

Charles choked, wanting to disappear into to ground right then and there, and Erik made a grimace between amusement and shock. "Henry!" the telepath coughed, face a bright-red " I am a man! I know that I am totally charming and beautiful, but please remember the fact that I am not able to get babys like women do !"

_Why is he saying this? Is this between Erik and me this obvious?_

Hank just shrugged his shoulders, not nearly as shocked as Charles and Erik were " I just thought... Well, we are mutants; everything is possible. And then you came here together with Erik-"

"Okay, fine, we've just discovered the fact that I am a man and not pregnant, so could we please continue with the important things of life!"

"Sure, professor" Hank said, rubbing his forehead with his blue paw "I just wanted to lighten the mood, you seem so unstrung." Charles took a deep breath; his face had its normal color again and he gave Hank and apologetic smile " I am sorry, Henry. "

"Oh,it's okay, don't be." Hank smiled back, and Erik made a noise, which sounded like a small snort. Charles turned to Erik, his gaze reproachful. _"It is your fault that we are here now, so don't treat Hank like that. He has done nothing wrong."_

_" Yeah, " _Erik answered in his mind _" for now. But somehow I am not sure anymore if he's the right man to talk to.."_

Now it was on Charles to snort_ " Really, Erik! He's a good scientist!" _

Erik coughed dryly "_Ok,true, I really like his blue fur.." _Charles shook his head and turned to Hank "_Really, Erik. I can't understand you , this was your idea, after all..." " _

"So,Professor, what's the problem?"

All three of them sat down on chairs; Erik with hands folded on his knees, Charles with his legs crossed and Hank stiff like a board.

"I feel like I lose myself to my powers...I think, there is something in my mind,..." Charles leaned forward "Another mind..Another person, a force..."

Hank nodded,slowly "Okay..." he said,nodding slowly, his eyes not leaving Charles "Can you tell me more about this..'force'? When did you notice it? Are they any special symptoms? Does it talk to you? Does it affect your powers, your behavior?"

"Well, where shall I start.." Charles trailed off, deep in thoughts now. He really must sound insane, but he began to speak"I think, it all started the day when I overused my powers with Cerebro, back when we were at the CIA-quarters. This was when I...I found it. Or, did it found me? I don't know. I saw it with Cerebro; it looked like a flame, and I was too curious to leave the mind of it alone. I tried to touch its mind, and then ..then it somehow entered my mind, melted together with me..."

Hank furrowed his brow,listening quietly, as he reached for a pencil and paper on the table. "I think, I nearly died this day." Charles continued, and his eyes flickered to Erik, who watched him with an blank expression. "I...my mind reached for it then. I felt it! Its mind, its soul, its power..It looked like a bird, like a phoenix, and it was so warm and seemed to understand me..I think, that was the moment when we became..one.." he stopped, his lips pressed together, looking as if he didn't want to talk further, but then he continued, his voice low " After that day I could hear its voice in my head. It was like my own, new, inner voice; whispering in the back of my head and commenting everything I said. " he stopped again,his tongue darting out to lick over his dry lips.

"This was only at the beginning. It made me angry,spurred me , my feelings... My bad feelings. As if it wants me to be..evil.." he took a deep breath, his gaze wandered down to his hands, his brow furrowed slightly "And now it is even worse..In the last time..It makes me lose control of my powers, it makes me think dark things, it..it makes me want to see things that I don't want to see, things that I do to others..It..it makes me want to kill.."

He cleared his throat,his voice slightly shaky "I...have the feeling that I change..That IT makes me change. I start to become something evil, I can feel it ! Sometimes I can't tell which inner voice is my own..I think we're starting to become one person, and I don't know how to stop it..."

He finished his speech, his eyes still on his hands because he couldn't look into their face right now. Hank must think he wasn't worth being their teacher anymore. Maybe he even thought he was mad, because he had nearly died , and now he saw things that weren't real, heard things that weren't real... But, what was real anyway?

"And, do you know what is the matter with Charles?" Charles heard Erik ask.

"Well, .." Hank cleared his throat, and Charles was sure that he would have pushed his glasses upwards, if he still had them. "I can't exactly tell what is wrong with him... There are a few probabilities, but I am not sure which one is right. I would have to run test, maybe even see his , your-" he added, with a look at Charles "-brainwaves, to see the structure of your thoughts and your mind. I could tell if there are two different kind of waves, so I could see if there are two different minds, but sadly we don't have any machine to show them, at least not here."

"Damn!" Erik leaned back, his arms now crossed in front of his chest "Are there any other opportunities?"

"Well, I would have to see the powers of this ' phoenix force', but I doubt that this would be a good idea; neither for us , nor for Charles. We don't know what effects the use of the force's powers has on Charles, on you." he added again, directed at Charles. "It could make everything even worse and we can't risk that. And ,also, you said you're not able to control its powers. "

"So?" Erik snarled, clearly frustrated "What now? What are we supposed to do now?"

"I guess, we have to wait..." Hank said with a sigh " I am terrible sorry, but all I can tell you is that we have to be carefull." Erik rolled his eyes but bit back a mean comment.

"It's okay." Charles looked up, to meet Hank's eyes, and a smile crossed his lips "I'll try to control it a bit, and you take your time and try to find an answer." Erik gave Charles one of those gazes, which Charles couldn't interpret, but he stayed calm.

"I think we have to act really soon." Hank answered as he stood up "This force , from what I've heard it has parallels with parasitism. I can't really tell what kind of parasitism, but it definitly is dangerous." he placed the new made notes on the table and turned to Charles and Erik "It seems like it feeds itself with your soul and mind, your feelings,especially bad and extreme feelings. That would be the reason why it tries to lure you to do things that you would normaly never do."he paused, then he added quietly "I fear, in the worst case,it will take over your body, Professor, and will replace your mind with its own."

Charles wasn't shocked. He could feel the pity from Hank, and the fear he had. He also felt the disbelief and bewilderment emanating from Erik.

He himself felt oddly numb,almost empty; it was as if he had known it from the start.

Hank had just told him that he would most probably die, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to be shocked or sad ,or angry, or anything else. Maybe he was shocked and didn't realize it? He couldn't tell... One part of him didn't even care, had almost the urge do be taken over, and he was sure that it was the part that the force had already consumed.

"We have to do something!" Erik snapped, jumping up from the chair "How much time do we have?" and the unspoken sentence 'before Charles dies' lingered in the air between them.

"I honestly have no clue." Hank said, almost apologetic "It is difficult to tell. As I said, I have no equipment to see into Charles's mind.." and again, another unspoken sentence lingered in the air ' even if he could show me, but I am afraid that this would be to dangerous for us- me'

"Damn!" Erik nearly kicked the chair, and Charles was surprised be the burst of emotion , because usually Erik was very calm, at least around the kids.. Erik gripped the back of the chair, leaning forward, his face a grimace of anger. It wasn't really clear at whom his anger was directed, but Charles didn't want to ask. "It's okay." Charles assured them as he stood up, smoothing his turtleneck "We have enough time. I can handle it. " They both looked at him, with this questioning gaze,asking themselves if he was honest with them.

He wasn't. He wasn't sure if he had enough time, if he could handle it. It would be worse, even worse then now, and even now he coudln't handle it. This was the reason why he had been afraid, and was still afraid.

The simple fact that he was not strong enough to handle it.

Erik's lips were pressed together into a thin line, and Charles was sure that he had looked through his lie, but he stayed silent. Hank eyed him, and Charles could almost hear the questions inside the blue mutants mind.

"I think this was enough for today." Charles smiled, pinning a strande of wavy hair behind his ear "I thank you for listening to me. And, please Henry, don't tell Raven or the other boys about this little talk. I don't want them to.." he trailed off, searching for the right word, but Hank already knew what he meant, and nodded in agreement "Sure, Professor. I won't tell them."

"Thank you,Hank. " and with that he left the room, closely followed by Erik. They walked down the corridor, silently, neither of them knew what to say. Not about this topic, at least. It seemed to linger in the air around them, unspoken but yet there, and they weren't able to forget it.

It was raining outside, dark and grey. Charles was suddenly very glad that he was wearing his turtleneck, because the temperatur seemed lower than he had expected. Charles glanced at his watch; it was already quarter to five. And yet he had to do the laundry, the shopping would have wait for tomorrow..

"What will you do now, Charles? Now that you know what's wrong?" Charles stopped, and turned around to Erik, who had stopped mere steps ago. He sighed, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants "I don't know yet."

They stared at each other, the rain patting against the big windows of the hallway, lightnings lit up their faces for a short times. Charles cleared his throat , looking at Erik, who replied his gaze. "I think, we shoudln't think too much about it right now."

Erik raised one eyebrow, his lips curled into a humorless smile "Sure, because it is only your sanity that will die." Charles sighed, turning his head away from Erik "It will not happen." His voice was steady as he told him that, but they both knew that he wasn't sure. "For now we can't do anything."

"Hah,and, what are we about to do,then? Wait and see ?" his voice was a snarle again, and Charles could feel Erik's anger.

"Yes, Erik. We have to trust Hank, and we have to be patient." Erik laughed dryly , shaking his head "Oh sure..I bet, it will be a great time."

Charles looked up, and this time there was a smile on his face "Though, It can be a great time."

Erik crossed his arms, his head slightly raised, so that he looked down on Charles. True, he always looked down at Charles, because Charles wasn't as tall as Erik, but this time there was a bit of hidden arrogance, but at the same time this questioning look in his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, that we shouldn't waste our time with worry." Charles replied.

"And, what are we supposed to do then?"

"Well, I guess we have enough things to do." Charles smiled kindly "And I bet, we can fill the time with usefull things, like chess for example."

"Don't fuck around with me, Charles !" Erik snarled again, his eyes flashing as another lightning lit up the sky. Charles eyes narrowed; he tilted his head to one side, watching Erik with an interested gaze "I'm not kidding." he replied, calmly.

Erik snorted , his head turned to the window, watching the raindrops slid down the glass. "You are trying to change the topic; you're avoiding this again."

Charles eyes turned to the window as well, watching the dark sky above "Maybe" he answered , still very calmly "But what do you expect me to do? Shall I drown in self-pity and sorrow, if I don't even know if I am lost or not? I'm not giving up, my friend; I just wait."

Erik took a deep breath, rubbing his forehead "I hate waiting." Charles laughed softly, still watching the dark sky "I don't know one single person who actually likes waiting..." And so here they stood, watching the rain, when Charles heard Raven call out for him.

"Well, I should go to her, else she won't stop yelling..." Charles licked his dry lips, again, turning his head to Erik, who still looked out of the window "What about comming to my room tonight, spending some time with me."

"You mean; like all the other nights where we've played chess all night long and where we've been drunk at the end." Erik's voice was somewhat dry, probably because he was still pissed about the whole situation.

This time Charles' smile was almost cheeky, as he slowly shook his head. "No, not exactly.."

And that was when Erik turned to him, a bit puzzled. He was about to open his mouth and ask what Charles meant by that, but Charles already turned around to meet Raven downstairs.

"Tonight, eleven." was all he said, as he raised his hand and waved. Erik stared after him, not exactly sure what to feel or what to think.

...

They were kissing, god, almost eating another, mouths hungrily claiming each other , tongues battling for dominance. Yeah, after what they had heard today they maybe shouldn't do this, but neither of them really cared. They needed one another, that was all that was important for right now.

Maybe they also did it because they couldn't tell how long they would be able to have each other, to kiss like that, to touch each other.. Who could tell when they would head off to kill Shaw, or when Charles would go insane?

The door had been locked with a flick of Erik's wrist , so no one would disturb them and now Charles was pressed against the wall, and it wasn't really comfortable, but he really didn't care. He threw his head back,hitting the wall and hissed at the pain, but his hiss was swallowed by Erik mouth. He was still not shaved and he silently asked himself if the stubbles bothered Erik, but this thought was soon pushed aside again.

Their hands roamed under their clothes and over their bodies, trying to touch as much skin as they could reach. Erik's left hand wandered up to Charles' hair,grabbing it firmly, yanking Charles' head to the side. He almost growled at the turtleneck and that made Charles laugh because of the irony; Erik was wearing them all the time.

"I think- we are wearing- too much clothes ." he panted against Erik, who nodded at that statement.

It really isn't easy to pull of a turtleneck, at least not when you try to pull it over the head of someone else, and so they both decided to pull their turtlenecks over their heads on their own.

Of course, the turtlenecks weren't the only clothes that were tossed on the ground. Soon the floor was full of clothes.

God, they were so aroused and full of lust, it was almost crazy. No, this whole thing was crazy, so maybe it wasn't even as crazy as they thought..

They weren't even really looking at each other, at least not for the first minutes. They were to busy with kissing, touching the skin of each other, licking over exactly this skin..

They were panting, neither of them really saying a word, but how anyway? They had barely enough air to breath, and word weren't needed anyway.

Charles loved the way Erik kissed him, sucked his skin. He was sure he would have a hicky,maybe even two or three.. Erik , on the other hand, loved the way Charles' hands touch him, gliding over his chest, sometimes digging into it when he bit down to hard on the telepath's skin.

They bodies moved against each other; they were already sweating and both hard."Ah-maybe we should move to the -hng- bed?" Charles asked, more panted, his head put against the wall, eyes closed.

Erik didn't answer; he didn't say anything, he just pulled Charles to the bed, and Charles let himself be pulled , let himself be pushed down onto the mattress.

They hadn't talked about who would have which position, because for them it was almost clear, without saying anything.

Erik was someone who needed contro; he was someone who took what he wanted when he needed it. Charles was someone who needed control as well, but not over everyone or anyone else.; he loved to give, and took what was offered him. So they both silently agreed.

Erik was leaning over him, kneeling between his legs, kissing him deeply, and Charles returned that kiss. Yeah, how he had wanted this. And, Erik had wanted it as well.

Maybe this was, again, a weird situation for doing it, yes, but they couldn't wait for the perfect moment, because there would probably no perfect moment, and they both couldn't wait for ever; in this case they were just humans after all.

They both knew how this worked, how this would go, because they both were cultivated, young men. Of course, neither of them ever did this before, and they both were likely nervous, but they need and lust was too high to worry about it.

Erik leaned back, and then they actually really looked at each other, at the body of the other man. Erik's chest was raising and falling rapidly, his hands on Charles' knees.

His body was muscular, more than Charles' , and his skin was some tones darker than Charles'. Charles could see the scars, small ones and larger ones, and he absently touched them, his hands carefully touching the sensetiv skin.

He wasn't taken aback; he had expected Erik to have scars, because no one could have gone through all of this horror without any marks. Not only the numbers on his forearm, which Charles didn't dare to touch, but also marks which held more pain in them then he could think of.

Charles wasn't taken aback, he was fascinated. Every scar had its own story, and Charles never thought about scars as ugly; in fact, he thought they were beautiful. Erik himself didn't hate his body, in fact it showed how much he had gone through. He wasn't ashamed of it, but he also didn't want everyone to see it.

His eyes were dark; dark with lust and desire.

Charles was looking up at Erik, his cheeks slightly flushed, almost glowing because of his milk-white skin. His skin was smoother than Erik's, but not flawless. There were some scars as well, and those on the inside of Charles' arms didn't look like they were there because of a mistake.

Everyone knows that children are trying to get the attention of their parents if their parents have no time for them ,or when they are ignoring them. And, sometimes, when nothing works, the children will try something else to get their attention, to make them see that they are suffering, or simply to calm their own sadness and anger.

But, they wouldn't talk about their scars right now.

Then there were moles, small ones, some on his arms, also one on his right collarbone and one on his left thigh. His blue eyes were a shade darker than normal, half-lidded, and Erik could see the love and lust in them. He leaned down again, kissing the teleparth hard and with force. They stopped when thexy began to run out of breath, and Erik leaned back again, eyeing Charles, who looked up with an almost questioning but also pleading gleam in his eyes.

"It will hurt." Erik informed Charles,his voice low, but the other man just shrugged his shoulders, an almost lazy smile on his lips, which were red and slightly swollen from the harsh kissing.

"I know" and then he added, with a warm tone in his voice "But I think, I can handle it." And this time, he meant it.

Erik then looked around, searching for something "You.. don't have , coincidentally, any lube in here, don't you?"

Charles nearly laughed , but he had not enough air in his lungs to do that "Well, if I would have known that we would do this tonight, then I would have gone to the nearest drug-store, which would be one hour away, to get some. But, if you ask me like that, no, I don't."

Erik rolled his eyes and almost groaned at that comment "One simply 'no' would have been enough." he grinned "You're even talking too much in bed."

That comment made Charles laugh, a small,breathless laugh though. "But...I have vaseline.." he said then,slowly , and when Erik looked at him with this weird gaze, he quickly added "For my lips, god damn it! Don't look at me like that! You saw my lips today, don't you?"

Erik raised one eyebrow, smirking, but he decided to say nothing about it, instead he asked "And where is it?"

"Nightstand" Charles mumbled. And so Erik reached for the nightstand drawer and reached for the vaseline. He opened it, only to find it half-empty.

"W-what?" Charles stuttered, almost indignant, because of Erik's smirk. "I told you that I use it for my lips, and as you can see, I have to walk around with them every day, so of course I-" he gasped when he felt one, vaseline coated finger pushing into him. It was a really, really unpleasant and weird feeling.

"You talk to much again." Erik hummed, and Charles groaned, in frustration "Shut up!" was all he managed to stutter.

One finger wasn't pleasant, but two finger were even more unpleasant, and Charles body instinctively tried to squirm away,clenching around around the fingers, but Erik grabbed him by his shoulder and pushed him back, held him.

"Does it hurt?" the metal-bender asked, his voice objectively, knowing the answer all to well. "No,it -hng- feels like heaven !" Charles snapped, but it turned into a groan. It really didn't feel good, and far away from pleasant.

Again, his body tried to squirm away; his fingers began to tangle into the sheets underneath him and he threw his head back against the pillow, his lips tightly pressed together. Then, when the thrid finger was shoved into him, he thought he might die then and there.

He pressed his lips so tightly together that they became with, he could barely suppress a whimper and he really tried not to make any pained noises. He had wanted this, he would go through this.

Erik seemed to see that he wasn't really pleased, and so he bent down to Charles, kissing his cheek, over to his chin and down to his throat, until he reached his collarbone. "Try to relax."He began to suck Charles' skin,licking it, trying to distract him from the pain. _Relax?, _Charles thought to himself, biting his lower lip. That was easier said than done..

"You're really tight.." Erik said, but it was barely a breath over Charles' skin. Charles tried to answer that, but all he was able to croak out was "Hn-Fuck!"

Erik took his time to prepare him and, though it didn't really feel nice, it was acceptable in the end. Erik's fingers were withdrawn, and Charles sighed, almost in relief, just to realise that this wasn't over yet. Not that he wanted it to be over, no! He just slightly feared what would come next..

They both moaned when Erik entered him,slowly. Erik, because of the tight heat, Charles because he was streched too much again. Erik was careful, though Charles knew that he really had to control himself not to push into him all at once. He thanked Erik silently for being so gentle.

It almost took an eternity until Erik was fully in him, and they both stayed still for several moments, trying to become accustom to the new sensation. Then,Charles carefully raised his arms, bringing Erik down for a kiss, his legs wrapping around Erik's body, bringing them both together skin agains skin. "Move." was all that Charles breathed against Erik's lip, and he could feel the smirk on the metal-benders lips, as he began to move.

First slowly, almost as if he was afraid to hurt Charles, what was ridiculous, because technically he already did that mere minutes before. Then he his thrust became quicker, and he grabbed Charles legs, pushing forward.

They were kissing,wildly , not getting enough of each other. Charles had his hands around Erik's neck,almost clinging at him,meeting each of Erik's thrusts with a jerk of his hips.

And when Erik hit that special spot, he felt his body lean into Erik; his spinal bent, making a hollow back, his shoulders pressing into the soft mattress underneath.. "Ah!" he gasped, his eyes almost rolling back into his head, his finger digging into Erik's skin,leaving small prints.

"Ah, bloody hell, hngh-" he gasped, babbling nonsense and curses. He threw his head back against the pillow again and again,every time when Erik hit the spot again, and he couldn't stop himself from pleading, though he had never thought that he would do something like this, especially not when he had sex with someone "God,Erik! Faster!"

And he coudln't see Erik's smirk, because his eyes were shut tightly, but he could feel it. "Of course."

He was sounding like a whore to himself, and he never had been someone who thought of himself like one to plead and scream like this; he really was a noisy fuck. Almost, almost, he was embarrassed about himself, but the pleasure was to great. "Ah,yeah! Faster,damn it-hng-faster !"

"I am- close..." Erik mumbled against his neck, his hands gripping Charles' hips even tighter, so tight that they might would leave bruises, his thrust became erratic,trying to thrust deeper. "Ah - m-me too!" Charles moaned, his hands in Erik's hair, pressing their lips together.

It was Charles who reached his climax first, moaning loud into Erik's mouth and tightening around his length inside of him. Erik was thrown over the edge by this, reaching his climax as well, panting loud but not screaming like Charles.

Erik almost collapsed on to Charles, who had his arms around the other man. They both were breathing heavily, trying to regain some breath. "Groovy." Charles suddenly said, and Erik looked up too see the flushed face. "Groovy?" he asked, his voice a bit raspy, about to laugh.

"Yes." Charles hummed "That's what it was."

Erik propped up on his elbows , raising one eyebrow in amusement "Well, I guess, it was." he reached for Charles, smoothing a strand of wavy hair behind his ear and looked into his face, almost thoughtfully.

"I love you." he then said, whispered. Charles gave him one of his brilliant smiles "I love you too, Erik."

Erik sighed and leaned back,about tu pull out of Charles "We should clean-" he wasn't able to finish the sentence, because suddenly he was lying on his back; his eyes wide with surprise and shock,looking up at Charles, who now sat on top of him.

_"I love you too, Erik.." _he purred, his head lowered, hair hiding his face,his hands wandering over Erik's chest "_You're so beautiful,such a great man..."_

"Charles...?" it was half a question, half a worried statment. Erik's brow furrowed when he reached up for Charles' chin to lift Charles' head up so he could see him into the face.

_"Erik,let's do another round..Please?" _Charles pleaded, his voice as sweet as honey, refusing to look at Erik, his hands scratching over Erik's skin, leaving small, red streaks. _"I love you much, please show me that you need me as much as I do, won't you, Erik?" _and there was so much need and pleading in his voice..

"Charles, look at me..." Erik demanded , his voice worried but also stern.

_"Erik, please, don't you want me?" _Charles continued _"I'll do everything for you, really; I'll suck you, I'll scream for you, I beg you-" _he was cut of as Erik grabbed one of his hand at its wrist,the other hand rested under Charles' chin, lifting Charles' face to meet Erik's eyes.

Erik's breath stuck in his throat, as he met dark , red eyes, glowing in the dim light of the room. Only now he realised that he had heard the voice inside his head..

_"Ah, Erik.." _the phoenix breathed, Charles' eyes half-lidded, his mouth half open _"I know that you can't get enough of me,don't you?I can feel you getting hard again.." _An arrogant, small smile crossed his to red lips. He slowly raised his hands and began to stroke his own chest,over his right nipple,his tongue darting out to lick over his too red lips, but not in the same way that Charles had done it hours before; the phoenix used his body, Charles body, in a really sexual way, knowing what to achieve with it_. "Ah,Erik, I know that you want me, come on,take me."_

It was hard for Erik not to look at what the phoenix did in front of his eyes, because every man would have been aroused by that, even some that weren't atually into man. Maybe it was because the phoenix seemed to give Charles the look of an innocent teen, something pure and beautiful, also almost a bit womanly..All the phoenix's doing.

_"Erik, touch me,please, I want to feel your hands on me." _the phoenix purred, his hands still wandering over Charles' chest, then lower _"Ah, I can't take the way you look at me, please, release me and-"_

"Stop it! Stop this sick game now!" Erik hissed, leaning upwards and grabbing the hand of the phoenix."I don't want this!"

_"But, I know you do.." _the phoenix sighed, leaning forward so that their noses were touching _"I can SEE that you want, read it in your thoughts.."_

"Liar!" Erik hissed and leaned back "I don't want you, I want Charles !"

_"But..." _the phoenix said, making an innocent face "I am Charles." and his voice was so much like Charles' "I am the man you love, come and show me that you love me too." and this time he spoke, really spoke.

"Fuck you and your mindgames !" Erik snarled. A dark smile crept over Charles' face _"Oh,I could do that for you, if you want, while you're watching me doing it-" _his free hands slid dangerously low, his half-lidded, red eyes watching Erik with a mocking gleam _"I can feel that you need me again. Ah, why can't you accept it?" _he rocked his hips forward, and Erik bit back a groan.

This was sick.

He didn't want to fuck a parasite, or what ever this phoenix thing was. Suddenly , realisation hit him ; it was his own fault that the phoenix had taken over again. It was his damn fault ! Hanks words came back into his head:

This force , from what I've heard it has parallels with parasitism. It seems like it feeds itself with his soul and mind, his feelings,especially bad and extreme feelings.

_Extrem feelings... Hate, love, grief, desire.._

Charles rolled his head, still watching Erik, licking his lips as if he was hungry for something. Yes, Hank had been right.. "Charles.." Erik said, his voice a bit shaky because of the current situation he was in "... come back."

The phoenix gave him a wicked grin " I am here, dear."

"Charles, listen to me, you're losing it again." Erik continued, trying not to be distracted by the appearance at the man on top of him."Focus, try to calm your mind!"

The phoenix bent down, his tongue licking Erik's left ear as he whispered _"I- don't- want- to- calm-it."_

With each time it became more difficult to get Charles back. Erik felt his heart ache at the thought that Charles might be lose himself entirely. He grabbed Charles' chin ,a bit rough , and forced the phoenix to look into his eyes "Let- him-go." he growled, his fingers digging into the soft skin.

"Hmmm, I love pain." the phoenix hummed, grinning "Yeah, gimme more pain, Erik ! Make me bleed !" Erik tried not to push the body off of him, tried not to slap the grin off of this too beautiful, unreal face. This was Charles body, he had to be careful what he did. He let go of the other man's chin "Off of me." he said, calmly, his gaze cold.

_"What?" _the phoenix asked, his voice sickly sweet _"Why love, I-"_

"We - are not lovers !" Erik hissed "I don't love you, I love Charles." and with a darker tone in his voice he added "The real Charles."

The phoenix leaned back, a condescending expression on his face _"Fine." _it snarled, but added with an evil undertone, giving Erik a bittersweet smile _"But, if I don't get it from you, I take it from someone else."_

Erik had no time to answer this, because suddenly Charles fell forward, his breath a bit sluggish. Erik stayed silent, not sure what to do now. Was it Charles?

"Charles?" he asked, carefully, placing his hand on Charles's shoulder. "Hm..?" Charles looked up, his chin propped on Erik's chest "Yeah?" he asked, his voice still a bit croaky. His eyes were a brilliant blue, but Erik could see the red flicker, which flashed over the blue.

"Did I..fall asleep?" the telepath asked, rubbing his eyes. Erik didn't had the heart to tell the truth, not now after they had had such a great time together. Sometimes it is better to not tell the truth..

"Yes." he answered with a small smile, his hand caressing over Charles pale , sweaty cheek "Yes, you fell asleep."

Charles laughed "Oh sorry! That wasn't my intention!" His blue eyes were sparkling with joy, and also a bit embarrassment .

Erik saw this smile and he knew that he had done the right thing to keep quiet about the truth.


	19. Chapter 18: Mixed reactions

**Chapter 18**

He was grinning like a cheshire cat. Yes, he was grinning like a fool, and gosh was he happy! He would dance through the whole mansion, but that would maybe scare the kids.

He could already hear them, feel their stares at him , and Alex whispered "Say;..Is he on drugs or something?" Raven just grinned at that statment and rolled her eyes dramatically "Yes." she chirped "On the drug called love."

Some people say it is a lie that everything seems brighter when you are in love, but for Charles it was as if everything wasn't as bad as it sounded. Sure, he might die, but; heeeyy, he had enough time, he could handle it. he felt like he could handle everything right now.

Okay, yes, he couldn't walk properly and yes, it was Erik who was to blame, but at the moment he really didn't care. He was just happy, and nothing, absolutly nothing would change that.

At least that was what Charles Xavier thought..

He was down in the laundry room, to hang out the laundry. Sadly, the weather was still bad, so he had to hang the laundry on the clothesline in the laundry room.

He was doing it right now, hanging the clothes on the clothesline, summing his favourite song and smiling slightly. Yes, he looked like someone who just escaped from the psychiatry.

"Hey ho, my lovely brother, how are you feeling today." He looked up from the clothes basket; one sock in his right hand and a smile on his lips "Raven, honey!" he beamed. He just couldn't stop his excessive cheerfulness. Raven laughed out, raising her right eyebrow at his too cheerful greeting.

"Whoa, you seem to have had a good night." she grinned, leaning forward on the washing machine "And?" she then asked, eyeing him closely "How was it?"

Charles just continued to hang the clothes on the line "I don't know what you're talking about." he chirped, acting as if he didn't know what she was talking about. "Oh, c'mon Charlie!" Raven grinned, leaning further forward "You can't fool me, or the others. We heard you all pretty well."

Charles stopped for one moment, his eyes darting to his sister, who smirkt at him. "What do you mean?" he asked, slowly, placing the shirt next to the socks.

"Oh,well, let's say; your telepathy was somewhat..." she made a face, pretending to search for the right word "...loose." Charles paled , hastily looking down to the clothes basket "Ah...is that so?" he asked.

Raven giggled, nodding. And then she made something that made him blush like a tomato; "Ahh, Erik, faster!" she groaned, imitating his voice perfectly "Oh god, I think I can't take it, yeah! Fuck I think I-"

"Bloody hell, Raven , stop that, now!" Charles pressed his hands on his ears , trying to ignore his laughing sister. "I guess, you were bottom, right? No on on top would scream like that. Haha, and, how was Erik? I mean; was he caring, or was he more one of rough guys?"

Charles coughed, and he really believed that there was no way that he could be more red than now "Raven! I-I don't want to tell you anything about my sex-life! It's privat, so stop teasing me !"

"Awww!" Raven made a face "But, I am your lovely sis! I need to know what my big brother is doing!"

"Yeah!" Charles smiled ,clearly uncomfortable "But I think that goes too far.."

"Sure." Raven sighed, then she put her hands under her chin,leaning with her elbows on the washing machine. Slowly, her form began to change; her blonde persone sowly turned into the brown-haired metal-bender, who had his typical , shark-like grin on his lips

"What about now, Charles?" Raven asked with Erik's deep voice, with heavy emphasis on Charles' name. "Are you going to tell me how I was?"

"Raveeeen!" Charles nearly whined , trying to hide somewhere behind the hanging laundry.

"C'mon,Charleees, I know that I was good." she purred with his voice, jumping forward to catch Charles, who tried to hide somewhere else. It was almost like they were playing tag. "Stop it Raven ! I swear, this will have consequences !"

"I looovvee you, Charles, I looovvee youu! Gimme a kiiiss, my Charlie , awww!" she just was about to lean forward to give Charles a kiss, who was pressed against the wall and had his eyes tightly shut , as the door opened.

They both turned their head to the door, just to see Alex, who had been about to open his mouth, but now he just stared at them with disbelief. "What the fuck!" he spat.

"Ahh-Alex !" Charles stuttered , then he turned his head and glared at Raven. She gave him a smirk, then she leaned back and turned into her normal, blond persona. "What the fuck was that?" Alex asked "I mean; I thought I've had a bad dream last night, but..." he wrinkled his nose, and Charles could see that he was disgusted.

"Calm your tits, Alex !" Raven snarled, pressing her hands onto her hips " I just made fun of Charles, nothing more."

"Ah, really?" Alex asked,his lips pressed together into a thin line.

"Yes." she said,giving him an angry glare " And, even if I had been Erik; does it matter ? I mean, does the gender really matter that much to you?"

"No, of course not." Alex hissed,full of sarcasm "I mean; hey ,yeah, it is totally normal for men to fall in love with each other, nooo, it isn't abnormal or...sick.." he paused, snorting , and turned around. "There is someone on the phone for you-" he paused, and added disdainfully " 'Professor X '. " Then he left through the door.

"Such a dick!" Raven hissed, shaking her head in anger, and turned to Charles, who was awfully quiet now. "Charlie, hey... Don't take him to serious, he is probably just a bit shocked. I bet in a few days he'll be used to it."

Charles stared at the ground, then he looked up to his sister and gave her one of his brilliant smiles "You're right. " he sighed , and added "Boys always have more problems with this than girls."

She smiled "Yeah. Uh, you should hurry,after all there is someone waiting for you on the phone .."

He nodded, then he hurried out of the room. Once again he was glad that he was the telepath, and not his sister. Else she would have known that he wasn't as unaffected as he had let her believe.

...

He leaned against the wall, his fingers playing with the telephone cord, his brow furrowed. Erik saw him when he walked down the hallway, to get down because he was thirsty.

He walked past him, and could hear his soft voice, speaking almost soothingly into the phone "No...No, that's..Yes. I assure you that-" he was cut off, staring at the telephone dial "No. It wasn't like that. " he then said, chewing at his lower lip "Yes, I know.. I am terrible sorry..No, that wasn't my intention...No, I assure you, I..Yes. Okay, of course.."

Erik stopped, then leaned at the wall , eyeing his friend, who mumbled into the phone, clearly nervous. After five more minutes of mumbling, he put down the receiver and sighed.

"You seem to be troubled." Erik said, an amused smile on his lips, but Charles didn't smile back. "Yes." he simply answered, running a hand through his wavy hair.

Erik raised one eyebrow, leaning forward , his arms crossed in front of his chest "Who was it?" he asked.

"The CIA.." Charles rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself "Damn, it is my fault..."

"I should have noticed that Moira is gone..But there happened so many things lately; I forgot about her somehow.. Now they told me that she phoned them, telling them that we try to make weapons out of teenagers or something.." he rubbed his forehead now, eyes closed " Damn, they are angry now, and leery. They think we're planning an attack or anything, I can't tell.. I can't read thoughts out of the phone ..."

Erik walked up to Charles, placing a hand on his shoulder, his face as cold as ice "I told you-" he said, his voice full of anger and aversion "- that they would search something to lock us away. Damn those humans, Charles ; we know that they are not right !"

Charles pressed his lips together, shaking his head "No, no, that's not what I've wanted ! I wanted us to work together, humans and mutants, but now I even failed that dream.." he trailed off, his hands clenched into fists, and his gaze blank "Damn! Why does that have to happen now! As if we don't have enough problems.."

"You haven't failed them, Charles. You haven't failed your dream." Erik nearly snarled "They were the ones who failed it, failed your trust. This stupid MacTaggert; she was the one who betrayed us, who made a mistake !" he clenched his teeth and Charles could see the sheer hatred in his eyes as he looked up to meet the metal-bender's gaze.

Erik was probably right, but Charles didn't want to believe it. He didn't want believe that Moira had betrayed them; that she had turned her back to them, just because of the accident.

Was it really true? What should they do know? What would the CIA do?

Charles had the urge to lean forward, to rest his head against Erik's strong chest, but he didn't. He didn't want to show weakness right now, and especially not after Alex behavior towards their relationship... He swallowed hard when he thought back at this moment..

He worried too much. Too much about everyone and everything, every topic. It was as if he couldn't stop thinking about them; blaming himself even if he knew that he wasn't the one who made any mistakes.

He didn't know why he did it, he just did it.

Maybe he should try to see that not he was the one who made a mistake, but the others. Maybe he should try to learn to see that sometimes things happen, and nothing could have stopped or changed them.

Fate.

Maybe his problem was that HE could have stopped many people, and therefore so many things wouldn't have happened.

He could have read Moiras mind, then he would have seen what she was thinking, and then he could have stopped her, deleting her memories.

Though,he didn't. And, why? Because of his ideals ? Because of the promise that he made to himself; the promise not to use his powers against his friends or other people,unless it was really necessary? Because he didn't want to control others? Because he didn't want to change the fate? Was he selfish because of that? Because, otherwise, he could have had saved so many people, or changed so many things?

There were so many things that he knew, but yet he felt like he knew nothing of life.

Sometimes he felt incredible old, because of his powers, who gave him this great headache, but yet he sometimes felt like he was too young to understand so many things, even if he already was almost twenty seven years old.

Life was not easy, and your desicions will always have an consequence; sometimes good ones, and sometimes bad ones.

No one was perfect, also not he himself, even if he could technically play god. But, he could not watch everyone and everything.

He would never be able to make the right decision for everyone. He couldn't make them believe everything he said. Yes,technically, he could do mostly all this, but he wouldn't; because most of all, his ideals stood in his way.

He took a deep breath , then he took some steps backwards and looked at Erik, who eyed him with his dark, grayish-green eyes. "We have to go shopping." he said , a brilliant smile on his lips "Will you come with me and the kids?"

He changed to topic to get other thoughts. He didn't want to think of anything that made him sad or angry, because he could already hear his new, dark inner voice inside his head, laughing at his childish thoughts and wishes.

_Just kill them all, and everything will be okay again. Just use your gift, and you'll see that you can change so much more than your own fate._ Y_ou could save the kids, and you could save Erik. After all, it is your fault that the CIA is leery now..You just have to delet their memories...But, ahh, you won't , will you? Because of your stupid__ guilt. You are so weak, so weak! You'll never manage to protect them!_

Erik was already used to the quick and sudden change of topics. He didn't ask what Charles had thought about, and he didn't ask any further questions about the CIA; he just looked down at this smiling face of his friend, and into those blue, blue eyes.

"Sure." he than hummed "Why not?"

...

"Really, Charles, why do we have to help you both? I mean; you're both two strong men, can't you go shopping on your own?" Raven whined, following them through the small shopping center.

"No, Raven. We'll do this together, like a real family ! So, stop whining !" Charles smiled at his annoyed sister, who made a pout. He could hear Alex's snort, but he kept calm about it. He knew that the boy was still not alright with the special topic, but that would fade. He would accept it,sooner or later, Charles was sure of that.

It wasn't easy to accept the love of people who had the same-sex, at least not for some people. Alex was one of them, but Charles was sure that the boy would sooner or later see that this wasn't as disgusting as he thought.

Yes, maybe he would never really accept it, but he would stop with his weird behavior around Charles and Erik; Alex was a good boy, he had a good heart.

"Can we go and take a look around the center?"Raven asked, walking up to Charles to walk beside "Pleasssee, the supermarket is so boring, and you have the list of the things that you need."

"No, Raven; you can take a look around later, now we'll go shopping all together. I assure you, we won't need as long as you think." Raven groaned in frustration.

Hank wasn't with them. He didn't want to go out in his blue form yet, and he didn't want Charles to use an illusion.

So the four of them walked into the supermarket. Alex and Raven had their own shopping cart, and Charles gave them the half of his shopping-list; they would break up and meet again to buy the things.

"So,what is on our list?" Erik asked, leaning down to see what was written on the paper "Eggs, and chees, also bread.." Charles said, shrugging his shoulders "Normal stuff."

All in all they needed almost a whole hour to get all their things. In the end they left the market with five bags, two of them carried by Erik, the others carried just one.

"Now I want to look through the shops!" Raven whined, placing her bag next to a bench. She was really excited, jumping from one foot to the other,looking at Charles with pleading eyes. "Alright, Raven." he sighed , nodded towards her, and she nearly made a jump.

"Yesss!" she grinned , then she almost ran to the first shop. _Girls and shopping_, Charles thought with an amused smile on his lips, following his sister with his gaze, _even mutant girls are obsessed with it_.

"And, what about you?" Erik made a short move with his chin towards Alex, who had his hands in his pockets, staring at them. "Oh,do you need some time alone?" Alex hissed, his eyes narrowing.

Erik raised one eyebrow, his gaze turning cold and wary "What do you want to tell me, kiddo?"

"Oh,nothing !" Alex spat , playing innocent "Nothing at all. But it's okay, I can leave you two alone, so you can even whisper sweet nothings in public." He turned around on his heels, leaving them both stunned.

"Why does he know?" Erik asked, carefully, his eyes narrowed. Charles swallowed hard, his rubbing his hands together nervously "Ahm...This could be my fault..I mean, really my fault."

Erik turned his head to him, a questioning expression on his face "How?" he asked. Charles suddenly was afraid that Erik might could get angry. After all he was someone who didn't want their relationship to be known by everyone. And surely also not known by the kids.

"Well.." Charles smiled a bit embarrassed, his voice a whisper. He didn't want all those people around to listen to their conversation, and he woudln't talk to Erik via mind; he didn't feel save or strong enought to manage it right now."I guess, I was...a bit too loud." he coughed slightly "I mean, in my head. It seems like they..were able to hear me because of my telepathy..and...Raven made fun of me, today, in the washing room.. She turned into you and Alex came in and.." he trailed off. Erik knew what he meant.

The expression on Erik's face was unreadable, and Charles' heart was pounding wildly in his chest. "Oh." was all Erik said. Though, he didn't seem surprised, nor angry. Just a bit stunned.

"Well, I guess, it was unavoidable." he shrugged his shoulders. His gaze was still stern and his eyes wandered back to the alley of shops,watching the crowd "You are a telepath; I thought that something like this could happen.."

"So.." Charles said, slowly "You are..not angry ?"

Erik furrowed his brow "I never said I would be angry. Anyway, why would I? Raven knew it from the start, and I don't care what the boys think." Charles felt as if a heavy weight was lifted off of his heart, and he sighed in relief. It was good to know that Erik wasn't angry, because Charles wouldn't have known what he would have done otherwise.

"Let's sit down on the bench." Erik gestured to the bench "I think the kids may need some time." They sat down at the bench, begs next to their feets, staring ahead. Neither of them said anything then, but it was quite often like this.

* * *

><p>Sorry for the short chap..Okay, and nothing special happened, sorry! xD I just thought it is a good way to end it there ^^"<p>

So, I have school again, so don't worry if I won't upload as much as always ( but of course I try to upload as soon as possible, you know me ;) )

**THANKIES** for all the reviews , man! To all of you! I know, I don't answer them ( uh,why? dunno, I should do that,shouldn't I? Omg, I am impolite xD?)  
>I just want you all to know that I am always really happy when I read your reviews, because they always make my day, and they always remember me why I love to write so much ;)<p>

Someone told me that she was inspired by my fic. Whoa, I was like: OMG, that's ...awesome! I never thought that my fic would inspire others to write about (awesome ! xD) phoenix Charles ! Om Om, that's cool man! :)

I love you all( and talk too much again,sorry!) Next Chapter: More phoenix action again,so..don't miss it! xD

Ps: Does anyone know how Moira's last name is spelled? I mean : McTaggert, or MacTaggert? xD I am so confused of this name..


	20. Chapter 19: Of fate and illusions

**Chapter 19**

The last three days weren't special, and almost too peaceful.

Sean came back from the hospital; a bandage around his broken arm and a grin on his lips. He was really glad to be home, because here was his new family now, and he didn't blame anyone for his condition. He said that it was his own fault, because he had been " too bloody stupid" to avoid Alex's energy blast.

Alex was still acting a bit weird around Erik and Charles, but at least he made no disgusted grimaces anymore. Maybe it was because Sean was back now, and he had not time to be angry or disgusted. The return of his friend was much more interesting than to think about the relationship of the two men that he called his current wardens.

Raven and Hank had a very good time. They hung around together, and even Erik had to admit that they made a nice couple. Raven seemed really happy, now that she and also Hank knew that they both were beautiful in their own way. Hank was a bit more self-confident now, thanks to his girlfriend. He still didn't want to go out into public, mostly because he thought that now wasn't the right time to let all the humans know that mutants were real. Maybe he would try to go out in public when no war was about to start.

The CIA didn't call them again, but Erik was sure that they still had an eye on them. Those humans were unpredictable, always trying to find something,anything, to make the mutants look suspicious.

Then there was Charles, who seemed really light-hearted. No inner phoenix voice since three days. He talked a lot, about science and mutants, and his smile seemed even brighter than it had been before.

It was perfect, almost too perfect, and Erik knew that something would happen; live could never be so good for a long period of time.

Now was the fourth day, early midday.

The day is warm, almost too warm for autumn; the sun was shining bright, the leaves swirling in the air, having an almost golden color.

They were outside. Alex and Sean were walking rounds around the house, talking about comics and new music, Raven and Hank sat together on the bench under the chestnut trees and Erik sat at the edge of the pond, watching Charles, who watched the water of the pond. Erik had never noticed the fishes.

Charles' hand was floating absently over the water, almost as if to touch the fishes; his blue eyes were attentive, watching the animals in the water with interest. "I never had any pets." he said, his fingertips touching the water "We used to have a cat, but it was killed by a car." he blinked against the sunlight, which was reflected by the water.

Erik wasn't quite sure why Charles had told him that. Maybe just to fill the silence; not that the silence was unconfortable, but it seemed he had had the urge to say anything.

"I never really liked fishes." he then continued "At least not when I was a child. I thought they are boring." He looked up form the water and his eyes met those of Erik. Erik had his normal, almost unreadable expression on his face; the one he always wore around the children or other people, like the CIA.

Charles smiled kindly, and turned his attention back to the pond "It's weird, how things change..Interests,friends, even family and pets. "

"Indeed." Erik agreed calmly "Nothing lasts forever."

Charles raised one eyebrow , humming slightly "Oh, I do believe that peace could last forever, if just the people wouldn't act as if it is necessary to represent power and opinions of their country,or to preserve safety and prosperity. And just think of love; don't you think there is a chance that sometimes it can last forever?"

Erik laughed, shaking his head in disagree " No, Charles. Don't be dewy-eyed; in the end, everything falls apart. And no matter how hard you try, even love won't last forever."

Charles sighed,chuckling slightly "Always the pessimistic one, aren't you?"

Erik raised one eyebrow, leaning slightly back "I just try to think realistically, Charles."

"By seeing everything black?" Charles teased, smiling "Really, my friend, you should start to see things more positiv. Even if you just try to hope; at least you would have something you can believe in."

Erik snorted, while putting his hands on the small wall of the pond "Why should I make myself hopes and start to believe in something, if it is nothing but an illusion? Doesn't that make everything worse than it already is?"

Charles dunked his hand into the cold water as he answered "Sometimes an illusion is all that you need to save yourself from drowning into the despair and misery of the world."

Erik laughed, but it was a humorless laughter "Really,I rather see the downright truth than hiding behind a self-made illusions of false dreams and hopes."

"An illusion doesn't have to be something unreal." Charles disagreed, his eyes fixed on the water "Sometimes it is just a little help to lead us through the real world."

Erik threw his head back, his gaze wandered over the golden treetops, which looked like they were made out of pure gold and bronze. He didn't answer. Not because he didn't know what to say, but because he knew there was no point in this conversation. He and Charles stayed too different; they would never have the same opinion, if they had a conversation like this. They had a different view on the world, on humans and mutants, on life and death. They would never agree with the same answer to one of this topics, because neither of them would agree to the view of the other. They were to stubborn and maybe even to arrogant to even try. For them, their own opinion was the only acceptable truth, the only real way to live a good life.

"I see.." Charles mumbled and stood up, drying his wet hand with his cardigan "We will never have the same view on things, will we?" he chuckled slightly , shaking his head while he did so "Too different, and yet the same. Really, Erik, what have we gotten into? Sometimes even I don't understand our relationship." Erik grunted, a small smirk crossed his lips "I would describe it as 'love-hate relationship'."

The corner of Charles' mouth turned slightly upwards , but his voice was serious as he suddenly said "I never want to imagine what could happen if we would be enemies." Erik furrowed his brows, his eyes turned back to his friend, who stood mere steps away from him; hands in his pockets and his gaze almost pained. The metal-bender sighed , standing up, a gentle expression on his face "But, we are no enemies."

"Yeah.." the telepath breathed, then he smiled "And I am very glad that we aren't. Because you are more than important to me.." he paused, looking at Raven and Hank, who were still talking "I would never want to hurt you. Anyone of you. I am glad that we are all a family, that we care for each other." Now he began to smile, it was a short but true smile "Fortunately, fate brought us all together - as friends."

Erik rolled his eyes, shaking his head at that comment "There is nothing such as fate. I thought a man like you ,who knows so much about science, knows that."

"Why wouldn't I believe in fate, my friend?" Charles asked, almost a bit surprised. "Because-" Erik said, snorting "- fate is just a word. There is nothing such as fate; it's just a word that humans have created to explain happenings of their past, to have no responsibility. You create your own life; not this so called fate."

Charles licked over his lips, then he nodded thoughtfully. "We leave it at that." he answered.

He wasn't someone who fully believed in fate, but sometimes he liked the idea of it. It would make everything so much easier; you could always say 'Yes, but that was fate.' You could push all your faults, and all the things that had went wrong ,upon the fate.

You would have no responsibility. Is that the reason why people believe in fate? But, isn't fate something good as well? Or, is it anything at all? He blinked as he suddenly felt a finger tapping against his forehead "You are thinking to much again." Erik leaned towards him, an almost arrogant smile on his lips.

"Indeed." Charles agreed, laughing out "But; that's just me. " he shrugged his shoulders, turning to the mansion.

"I think I go back. I need something against my headache, or my head explodes." he grinned cheerfully. Erik furrowed his brow again, eyeing Charles closely "It isn't back, isn't it?" He knew the answer already; he could see it in Charles eyes. It wasn't because of the color, or because of the way he was acting; it was because he had this absent gleam in them again, as if he was mentaly far away. He always had this gleam in his eyes when he had a struggle with his inner voice ; with the phoenix.

Charles pressed his lips together, avoiding Erik's gaze as he whispered "Just a unclear background mumble..It'll go away after I took the painkillers."

...

"And you are sure that this is going to work?" Erik asked sceptically, eyeing the machine.

"No, not hundred percent sure." Hank admitted, placing the helmet, which almost looked like the one of Cerebro, on Charles' head. "It is just a prototype, but we don't have enough time to be choosy. I want to see if it works already." Charles blinked; the helmet was too big for his head so that he wasn't able to see Hank or Erik, because the helmet took his whole sight.

"But, this is about Charles' health!" Erik snarled , giving the blue scientist a glare "What if it makes everything worse?" Hank flinched, gripping his notepad tighter "I know that!" he said, his voice a bit unsteady "But as I said; we don't have time. "

Erik was about to yell at Hank, how stupid he was, that they should wait, but he was stopped by a hand around his wrist "It's alright,Erik. I agreed to this." Charles smiled, although he couldn't even see them. It was a sure, trustworthy smile; a confident smile. Charles believed in Hank; he laid his life into the hands of the teenager. Okay, maybe not his life, but his health.

"Fine." Erik grumbled and freed his hand out of Charles' grip "But I stay here."

"That won't be necessary." Hank answered,looking down on his notepad "Charles will be in a kind of trance-like state, and there is no risk that something happens at all. The machine just scans his brain activits and his brainwaves,then it writes them down on the paper. It is almost like Cerebro, with the difference that this time the machine is the aktive one who is searching for something inside of Charles, and not Charles who is the one who is searching for other mutants with help of the machine. "

Erik made a grimace; he wasn't convinced by anything of this. For him, this was dangerous. Who could know what could happen? "I will stay here." he said again, his voice firm.

Hank rubbed his face, clearly nervous "It would be better if he his mind wouldn't be distracted by any other living soul in this room. His mental shields will be low; the danger that his mind merges with yours or with the one of the phoenix is too high. His mind has to be free from other minds and thoughts, that is very important for all this."

"I thought there is no risk!" Erik snapped, his eyes flashing dangerously "And now you tell me that-"

"Erik, enough." Charles' stern but soft voice cut him off. "I trust Hank. I want to do this, because this test can help us to see what is happening to my mind; to my soul. It is important for me. I know that there is a risk that something might happen, but there will always be a risk." he reached up and grabbed Erik's hand again, squeezing it slightly "Don't worry, my friend-" and he smiled at the word friend, because they all knew that they were more than that "- I will be alright. Go down, drink some coffee, watch some TV or read a book. You'll see, time will pass by quickly, and in the next morning we will know a bit more about the force."

Erik stared at the telepath, a weird feeling in his stomach. This felt so wrong; he couldn't leave Charles now, somehow he had the urge to stay at his side. Maybe because all this, the lab and the helmet, the machines, remembered him of a hospital. He had the urge to stay at the side of Charles, to be there for him,to go through this with him.. He felt as if he was leaving him alone.

Charles laughed softly as he felt the swirl of emotions coming from his friend "Leave now, Erik. It will be alright." Erik sighed and leaned forward, ignoring the embarrassed cough of Hank, and kissed Charles' lips slightly. "Till tomorrow." he said, almost whispering, and Charles gave him a smile as answer, nodding.

Erik went out of the lab, walking down the hallway. He still had no good feeling about this. He shook his head and put his hands in the pockets of his pants, like Charles used to do.

Maybe Charles was right and he should think a bit more optimistically? He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. _Everything will be alright_, he told himself.

...

He had thought that he would be strong enough to leave Charles alone, but he wasn't. He couldn't supress the worry, the weird feeling in his stomach. He had to see that Charles was alright; he had to know that nothing bad was happening. He knew that Hank would try to keep him away from the lab. Hank wasn't in the hallway or near the lab, so Erik could go there without being seen at all.

Erik hesitated for a moment as he reached the metallic door. He had heard what Hank had told him; he knew that he shouldn't distract. He would try not to think to much; he would try to shut his mind. _Only a quick glance_, he told himself , _you only want to see if he is alright. A short glance will be alright._

He laid his hand on the handle of the door and opened the door. The lab lamps of the lab were as bright as always, and it was a miracle to Erik how Charles was able to be in a trance-like state when the light was the most distracting thing of all. The machine was beeping in a steady tone, and once again Erik was reminded of a hospital.

He slowly walked up to the body, which lay on the steel-table. Erik tried not to think too much, but as he saw Charles, lying there on this table, he was reminded of himself. It remembered him of the time when he was used for experiments..

He clenched his jaw and his hands balled into fist. He had to calm down; this was not the doing of the enemy, this was the lab of the mansion, Charles wanted to do this.

Erik stood now directly next to Charles and looked down on the man in front of him. He was breathing slowly, sounding asleep. He couldn't see Charles' whole face, because of the helmet, but he could see the red lips, which were slightly parted.

Erik couldn't supress the urge to reach down and touch Charles' cheek.

It was the wrong move.

Suddenly, Charles grabbed his hand at the wrist, gripping him tightly and not letting go. The machine began to beep wildly , and the light flickered slightly. Erik hissed, in pain and surprise, trying to get free of the too tight grip. "Charles !" Charles' other hand reached for the helmet, and Erik leaned forward to stop him from doing so "Charles, wait! Don't , the machine hasn't finished yet!" His hand was shaken off , and the pale fingers grabbed the helmet, yanking it off of Charles' head.

The helmet hit the ground with a thud, rolling over the polished floor under one of the shelves. Charles sat upright , so quickly that Erik hadn't had any time to say something, then he turned his whole body around to Erik. Charles was still holding Erik's right hand, his other hand came up to rest on Erik's shoulder, while his legs wrapped around Erik's middle, bringing their bodies closer.

"Erik." Charles' voice was a mix of surprise and a purr. "What are you doing here?" Erik could see the flicker in those eyes, the mixed emotiones and the fight behind them; the different souls. "Where are we? What are we doing here?" his brow furrowed "Hank.." His eyes wandered to the machine, and his face darkened "You wanted to see what's wrong with me, don't you! You tried to fix me, right? You've searched for the error in my system, right? Right?" He turned his gaze back to Erik, his eyes full of hate and pain; the pain of feeling betrayed.

Was it Charles who felt this way, or was it the phoenix? Erik couldn't tell, because those eyes were blue, not red. This voice was not inside his head, but spoken.

"Why,Erik? Why are you trying to fix me? I am not broken..." It had to be because of his lowered shields, because of all the emotions and thoughts in the air. He was probably just a bit confused.. "We didn't want to fix you. " he said, his voice calm and gentle "We just wanted to see what's going on inside your head."

Charles' eyes narrowed, and things in the room began to shake. Erik freed his hand out of Charles' grip , then he cupped the telepath's face with his hands. Erik took a deep breath "You have to come back. Don't loose it again. I know you can-" he was cut off when suddenly Charles' lips were on his.

The change of emotion was nothing new at all, nonetheless Erik was surprised. "Charles-" he breathed as they broke away from the kiss, trying to catch some breath. Charles smiled at him, his eyes half-lidded and a sneer on his lips "What, Erik? You don't want to fix me? Alright,then lets do something else."

The room began to shift; the color began to turn from white into a soft red, the tiled floor became wooden and the machines and lab things gave way to the establishment of an old livingroom with fireplace and an old, large couch.

Charles was sitting on a table, which looked as old and expensive as the rest of the establishment, giving Erik an alluring smile. Erik's breath hitched at the sudden change of his surroundings. "What did you do ?" he asked, and couldn't supress his wariness.

Of course, he already knew what Charles had done. It was an illusion, but Erik wasn't sure if this was simply in his head, like a thought, or if Charles had just changed his perception.

_"I wanted to have a nicer surrounding. I hate this white walls, they are so cold." _he trailed off, his eyes almost hidden under his too long eyelashes. Erik could here Charles voice inside his head again, speaking along with his real voice.

The fusion of the force and Charles' soul had to be in a further stage now. It was hard to tell who was who; where Charles began and the phoenix ended.

_"Sooo, know that we've changed that..." _Charles hand wandered down, over Erik's chest ".._we can come to the important things of life." _his voice was a soft purr, lulling with a hint of teasing. _"I mean... We both know that we can fill our time with better things than talking, right?" _

Erik was mesmerised and he couldn't bring himself to look away;to stop Charles. It was as if he was frozen into place, not able to move; his mind was to distracted by the sight in front of him to notice the fact that maybe it was Charles' doing as well.

The metal-bender gasped as he suddenly felt Charles' hand in his pants, and Charles chuckled, but it wasn't his typical chuckle ; it was dark, full of lust and desire. "_What is the matter, __my friend__?" _he asked, with an almost amused emphasis on the words 'my friend_'. "Don't play coy, I know what you want; I can see and feel it. " _he leaned forward, his hand still inside Erik's pants, and whispered against Erik's ear "_Don't you want to take me, rough and fast? Hmmm?"_

He couldn't deny it; his feelings or his imaginations. Charles was right, but Erik would never admit it.

He was fighting a battle with himself ; he didn't want this to stop, because he was aroused , but he couldn't allow it to happen, because Charles was not in his right mind.

Charles' tongue darted out of his mouth,licking a trail from Erik's ear down to his chin. Erik still asked himself if this was real,or just inside his head. He tried to steady his breath as he answered "Stop this." His voice wasn't as steady as he had wanted it to be, and he couldn't say any more words, because his throat felt dry and tight.

Charles just grinned and pressed his lips on Erik's, kissing him hungrily. His grip tightened around Erik, causing the metal-bender to moan into the kiss. Charles licked over Erik's lips,pressing and rubbing his body against Erik's, reminding Erik of a horny cat. _"C'mon, Erik. Touch me, kiss me; I know you want to."_ the fingers of his free hand wandered over his red lips, down his neck _"Ahh, c'mon, I don't want to wait any longer."_

Erik gave Charles a mischievous smile, his hands wandered over Charles' chest, up to his neck. Charles opened his lips slightly, leaning his head back and moaned. Yes, this was erotic.

Erik's hands stopped around Charles' neck, tightening slightly as he leaned forward "I say it once more-" he was panting, because of the kiss and Charles' hand around him "- stop this game. I am not your toy."

Charles laughed, clearly enjoying the whole situation, his eyes a mixture of blue and red. _"Yeah, hurt me. Tighter, Erik; I want to feel your anger!"_

Erik growled, letting go of Charles' throat. "_Oh, what's the matter?" _the phoenix teased_ "Don't you want to strangle me? Yeah, strangle me while you fuck me, isn't it that what you want? Because you hate me, but yet you love me. You want to slap me, take me. You want to hurt and fuck me. You can't decided what is higher; the love for Charles Xavier or the hate against the Phoenix. So, my friend, what are you going to do now?"_

Erik took some steps backwards, and Charles pulled his hand out of Erik's pants. _"Such a shame."_ he sighed _"I thought you love me; all of me." _His unreadable eyes turned sad while his face turned into an innocent and vulnerable expression. He wanted pity, trying to get Erik.

_"Erik!"_ he suddenly whined _"Erik, I need you, please ! Don't hate me,please ! Don't leave me alone!" _His voice was so full of grief and fear, innocent and pure.

Tears began to well up in those redish eyes _"Erik!" _he sobbed , reaching for him _"Erik, don't hate me, please ! I love you so much; you are my everything and I can't live without you! Please don't turn away, don't leave me alone!" _He began to rock back and forth, tears streaming down his porcelain white cheeks,over his red lips and down his chin. It was truly heart-breaking.

Erik hesitated, torn between the urge to embrace Charles and the urge to slap him right into the face. This-was-not-real. No matter how much tears he cried, no matter how broken his voice sounded; this was a fake. Charles knew that he loved him; he would never say such things. This, in front of him, was the phoenix who played with Erik's feelings towards Charles, who knew that he could break Erik by showing him Charles, overemotional and desperate. "Stop this!" Erik snarled, his hands balled into fists "Your sick mindgames don't work!"

Charles took a deep breath, hiccups jolting through his body. "_W-What?"_

"You've heard what I've said." Erik replied dryly "I can see through your lie, phoenix! I know what you want to achieve, but I won't give you the satisfaction! I will fight you until you leave Charles alone ! I won't give up until Charles is in his right mind again! I will no longer fall for your stupid tricks and sick games !" He stopped, then his voice changed from the hateful tone into a gentle one " Charles, I hope you can hear me now." he stepped forward, his hands reached for the pale cheeks "Please calm your mind and come back to us. I know you can fight it. Don't let it take over your soul."

Charles stared at him, his eyes wide. For a split second there was a hint of the old Charles, 'his' Charles. His eyes seemed sane, blue , and a small smile crossed his lips. But, as said, it was just for a split second, because suddenly his face turned into an angry grimace; his eyes became fire red , his lips almost black, and a dark shadow seemed to creep under his eyes.

_"You fool!"_ he screamed, his voice high and loud inside Erik's head. He stood up, his hair swirling around his head like flames _"YOU DAMN FOOL! HOW DARE YOU TO SAY I AM NOT IN MY RIGHT MIND? HOW DARE YOU TO ASK ME TO FIGHT IT? HOW DARE YOU TO BELIEVE I AM NOT MYSELF!"_

Erik winced , his hands grabbed his head as he walked backwards, away from the man in front of him. He could feel the hate and rage of the force , whirling around the small body like hot flames.

" I AM SANE!" Charles screamed, the dark shadows under his eyes becoming darker _"I AM NOT BROKEN! I DON'T NEED TO BE FIXED! THIS IS ME! THIS IS MY REAL ME! LOOK AT ME! SEE MY POWER AND MY GLORY! I AM CHARLES FRANCIS XAVIER; I AM THE PHOENIX!" _his hand reached for Erik, pure hate in his gaze _"I am perfection! Don't stand in my way; don't try to stop me! Otherwise I will kill you with no hesitation !"_

Erik didn't know what to feel right now; he didn't know what to say. Was he afraid? Oh,yes, he was afraid. Maybe you would think that Erik Lehnsherr had nothing to be afraid of, that he had seen enough to be free of fear, but that wasn't true. He could feel fear like every other human and mutant. This time he could feel something like fear, but also worry. Worry for his best friend - no, for his love. He felt as if he should do something, but what would that be? What could he do?

There was nothing , nothing, he could do, because it seemed as if it was already too late. Charles, the phoenix, was angry. Angry at him and his words. He had believed that Erik would understand him, because Erik always talked about accepting their mutant powers. And now, now when he needed him, when he needed approving words, now Erik had let him fall. Erik could feel the sadness and rage of Charles as if they were his own feelings. Those feelings seemed to overwhelm him, seemed to wrap themselves around his soul and mind, crushing it slowly.

"Charles !" he gasped, clutching his head with both hands "Charles, I am sorry! I- argh!" he wheezed, blood dripping out of his nose "- Charles, I didn't mean to hurt you! It was my intention to help you! I thought- hng- I thought you want help and -hng- I wanted to give you this help- hngah- because I love you! I don't hrgh- don't want you to loose yourself. I accept you-" he gasped, suppressing a scream of pain "I accept you and- ahhrg- your powers, everything you are!"

The pain stopped suddenly, and Erik looked up, meeting Charles' steady, cold gaze "_You do?"_ the telepath asked, his voice soft but emotionless, though there was a questioning undertone. Erik nodded, breathing a bit heavily because of the pain he had had mere minutes ago "Yes, I do." he took a deep breath, knowing that the words he would now say would make everything worse "But still I do believe that you need some help. This powers are to powerfull for you, my friend, you might kill someone without wanting it."

The face of Charles turned even darker, his eyes glowing with the rage _"I see-"_ he hissed, full of contempt _"- you don't understand me. You will never understand me , us , because you don't know how we feel! I don't need your help, Erik, I've never needed it ! As well as your so called love!" _He threw his head back, his gaze directed to the ceiling as he slowly raised his arms.

_"There is no need for me to stay here.." _his arms were outstreched now _".. to stay here.." _the room began to fade away, slowly turning back into white lab room _"...if I am not fully accepted, if I am not loved the way I am. " _the things in the room began to float up into the air , and Erik knew that he had to do something, because otherwise something bad would happen "Charles, stop this,please I-" he was cut off by Charles' emotionless voice "_I don't want to end it this way, Erik, I never meant to end it like this..." _and this time he could actually see real tears falling down Charles' blank face, and he knew that he must be crying as well, because he could feel something wet running down his cheeks _"... but we were too different, from the beginning. We are still too different... We never meant to belong together." _and a small,almost sad, smile crossed those dark red lips_ " It was supposed to end this way. Fate never meant us to be together."_

"Don't talk about fate, Charles !" Erik bit his lower lip, trying not to scream in rage and pain. This was ridiculous and..and..."We can make it, we-"

_"No."_ Charles shook his head, and this time his fire red eyes seemed to be ice cold "_There is no we anymore. There was never a real 'we'. It was just an illusion. Can you remember what I told you about them? Sometimes you need them for a better life. We tried to form our illusion, but you destroyed it! You destroyed it all, Erik!" _And the unspoken words ' I hate you' lingered in the air between them.

Charles words felt like daggers; Erik stumbled backwards, shock and pain written in his normally so controlled face. He tried to tell himself that it was not true; that it was the phoenix who talked to him, but the words did hurt so much and they were spoken with Charles' voice. It hurt, it really really did hurt.

"Charles.." he croaked, his voice sounding broken "..this was we had, this what we have,...it is real!"

Those dark red lips curled into a venomously smile _"For you it was real. " _and then he pressed his hands together, sending a shockwave of telekinesis through the room. Things were smashed and Erik was thrown against the nearest wall, wincing in pain as his head and back hit the solid wall of the lab. "Cha-" was all he could say before Charles grabbed him by his hair, forcing his head back so that he had to look up into Charles' beautiful but yet evil face _"I am so sorry, my love." _he purred, and there was a hint of real sorrow in his voice _"But I have to go." _Erik wanted to protest, he wanted to tell Charles that he was an idiot, that he should stay...

Charles reached down for Erik's cheek, putting his hand on it. He smiled; a mixture of sadness and yet hate in his gaze, and Erik knew that two souls were fighting inside this small body.

Then,suddenly, Erik saw a light flashing before his eyes. He couldn't protest, he couldn't scream,he wasn't even able to try to use his powers to stop Charles. Everything went slowly black.

The last thing he saw was Charles, who turned his back at him , walking towards the lab-window. Erik wanted to reach for him, wanted to beg him to stay- even if he wasn't someone who normally begged for anything- ..He felt as if his heart was torn apart.

But, he couldn't do anything, because he lost his consciousness.

He had messed it up.

...

* * *

><p>Omg, sorry for the lack of update, but I am a busy school lab rat :( !<p>

So, some of you were confused because Charles called Hank 'Henry' sometimes. Well, that is because that's his real name XD Hank is just his short name :)

Okay Guys, I hope you are not to angry with me,cause I am not able to update so fast as I did before xD  
>My sis will visit me, from 26-29.8 . I will try to write in the evenings, but I can not promise anything :(<p>

Ah,and..Do you call persons who look over you "wardens?" I wasn't really sure xD

I love you all, ( but , I guess, you know that already xD) , and see you as soon as possible !

Orangneto ;D


	21. Chapter 20: No help, no solution

**Chapter 20**

He was swaying down the road; the air was thick and hot,smoke filling the air. The street was emtpy and gleamed red because of the light of the fire.

What had happened?

He couldn't see anyone; it was so quiet and empty here, though it looked as if the world goes down. The houses were almost completely destroyed, only ruins were left. The heaven was dark; it was night, and clouds hung over the sky, swallowing the dim light of the moon and the stars.

Where were all the people?

He felt sick, and weird, and he couldn't tell what had happened; he couldn't remember. His hands tightened around the fabric of his shirt, which was dirty with dust and blood, slightly torn at the edges. His head hurt so damn much...And he was sure he could hear people, even if he wasn't able to see them. They were in his head, for sure, and they were screaming.

He bit his lower lips, swaying down the empty street. He could see the fire; he could feel the warmth of it as if it was inside him; he felt as if he was burning.

The smell of blood lingered in the air, and he flinched as he looked down on his hands. They were white as porcelain and bloodstained.

Then, suddenly, realisation hit him; he could remember, remember what he had done, and it made him scream in pain. He swayed to the nearest house and slumped down against the wall, covering his face with his bloodied hands.

He didn't... He didn't... He hadn't meant to...His hands wandered up to his hair, gripping it tightly, his stare blank. Slowly he began rocked back and forth, trying to get the screams and the images out of his head.

This wasn't true, this wasn't true, it wasn't...

His scream of pain and sorrow filled the thick air, echoing through the empty streets of the destroyed town...

...

_He is so angry._

_Hate and anger burns deep inside of him, eating him from the inside, and he feels like he is burning._

_He can see their stares as he walks down the street; they fear him, those humans ! His hair begins to swirl around his head like snakes, and he feels the anger becoming even greater. He hates them, he hates everyone. No one understands him, no one does care._

_Those stupid gazes, how they look at him and at the fire in his eyes. He can feel their fear, their horror. They can not believe what they see. They just believe in what they want to see. They are not used to this sight. It's too supernatural for them._

_He laughes at them, at those people all around, standing on the steet and gazing at him. Someone screams, says that someone has to help him. They are shocked, because he is burning._

_Help... This word, how he hates it! As if they think he is weak! As if HE needs any help!_

_He can feel the power of rage and anger running through his veins like the fire he is feeling inside. He loves this feeling of pure anger, of hate, the need to destroy everything and everyone._

_He WANTS it, the total destruction ; he wants and needs the pain of those people. He wants to FEEL their pain; he wants to TASTE their pain. He wants to SEE their blood on the pavement and he wants to HEAR their screams and whimpers. It makes him horny, fills him up and makes him satisfied._

_He crushes their brains with simple thoughts, destroying every brain cell they have until he sees the blood coming out of their noses, eyes and ears. He throws them against the houses and walls, rips their bodies apart with his telekinesis .He lets them dissolve into their component parts, destroys and shatters every cell and atom in them, tearing them apart until they are just dust. _

_His hands are balled into fists, full of the blood that is splashing around. He is full of it; of the blood. His clothes, his face, his hands, everything. He is covered in it as if it is his second skin._

_He can hear his own, hysterical laughter, dark and hollow to his own ears. The pain of them, their fear and their last pathetic thoughts washes through him, making him grin. He licks his lips, as if he is hungry for more, smearing the blood of his bloodstained hands at the walls of the houses, which begin to collaps behind him._

_He is as pale as the moon, his lips red like the blood he has spilled, his mind as dark as the night. The fire of his powers is eating his souls; he is no longer one man with two minds. He is something different now._

_He is not a cannibal, but the blood is warm against his lips and he loved the smell of it; it smells of pain and pain, only pain; pain that he has caused. He licks it off his lips, off of his chin and off of his hands. He wants more, he is craves for it._

_He sees the women; she's trying to run away, but he stops her with his telekinesis. She screams in fear, begging him to leave her alone. I have a child, she screams, please don't kill me, I have a daughter. He doesn't care for the daughter or the women; he only cares for his own needs. And now, all he wants and needs is causing pain. He causes her pain; slowly and malicious._

_He rips a hole in her belly,gripping her throat tightly and tears her head to the side until it cracks. She screams the whole time, begging him to stop for the sake of her daughter. He then lets her go after he is finished. Her body is destroyed, and no one will be able to see that she once was a human._

_The street is red; red of blood and the fire. Yes, the fire, his fire of the phoenix that he is. It burns down the houses and the crying souls in them, sending them to heaven or hell; he doesn't care._

_Oh, how he loves the destruction, how he loves the pain of the humans. His powers flow through his veins, and he uses them to destroy everything around himself. It makes him satisfied, it makes him calm. It is like a drug to him._

_Killing brings him peace, makes his anger calm down. _

_But, then there was Erik; this man,who has hurt him..._

_He does not love him, he is not interested in humans or mutants; he is just interested in himself.. But, this man, he is something else. His body wants him, he is lusts for the other man._

_It is like he is attracted to him; bound to him. As if his soul needs him to survive. He needs the other man; his love makes him feel whole and his body gives him the perfect sensation that he needs. And then there is his mind, so full of the darkness that he likes.._

_To think about the man makes him angry again._

_His eyes become black, and he raises his arms to the sky. Total destruction ; that's what will calm him._

_..._

The four people walked down the street, their steps sounding hollow on the dusty ground. The air is full of smoke, and fire can be seen in the far distance. It is quiet here, and dark.

The girl looks a bit scared, her gaze wandering over the ruins of the houses. The red mutant seemed relaxed and not interested at all, though his tail is swinging nervously from side to side. The man with the brown hair looked like he is not sure what to think; he seemed impressed but also a bit scared. The man who was walking in front of them looked almost satisfied, not scared at all. His helmet was gleaming in the dull light of the fire, and the cold smirk on his lips is almost scary.

It is silent here. Not even a crow or the meow of a cat could be heard. It was as if life wasn't here today, as if death had replaced it. "We shouldn't be here." Azazel said, his voice heavy with his accent. Shaw didn't answer, because he had his plans. They were on their way to recruit one of the most powerful mutant of this world, maybe even the most powerful of all. "I can feel no life at all." Azazel continued, his voice emotionless, though his tail swung around nervously.

"Ich weiss." Shaw answered, almost rolling his eyes; as if he didn't know that already.

It began to rain. First only a few drops, but then soon it became stronger, cleared the air from the dust and also washed the blood away from the streets. At least now the sound of the rain filled the unbearable silence.

It was when they walked past a side alley,when Angel suddenly stopped. Shaw didn't notice it, until the others stopped as well. "Was?" fragte er, his voice harsh. Ripitide pointed at the alley, though he said no word. He never said much words. Shaw sighed and walked up to the alley. Did they found him?

Yes,there he was.

He stopped in the middle of the alley, his gaze on the person sitting at the end of the dead end. There, at the end of the alley he sat; his arms around his knees and his blank eyes staring right through Shaw.

His skin was as white as porcelain, his lips unnaturally red and his eyes as red as the blood on his face and clothes, glowing strangely because of the shadows under them. His fingernails dug into the fabric of his trousers and had stiffened into a panik-like grip. His lips were moving, though he wasn't saying anything. He looked fragile, almost vulnerable, like a little boy who had been lost on his way home. The small body was rocking back and forth, trying to calm himself, trying to understand what had happened. The rain ran down his pale cheeks and made it look as if he was crying.

Shaw sighed in sympathy and walked up to the small figure; he crouched down in front of the shivering man, eyeing him almost lovingly "Ganz ruhig, mein Lieber. Alles ist gut."

The young man's gaze became a bit more focused now, through his eyes were still glassy and looking through him as if he was air. He didn't answer to Shaw; he just continued to shiver uncontrollably. He was in shock and probably didn't even know what he had done; he couldn't comprehend it. Shaw smiled kindly as he stood up, pulling the unresponsive man up with him "Come with us." he said, his voice gentle, almost reassuringly."Everything is alright."

He lead the young mutant to the small group of his followers, who watched them both with mixed emotions. Angel flinched slighty as she saw the man who had freed her of her life in the swingers club and she silently asked herself if she,they, did the right thing.

"It's alright, my dear. " Shaw pulled the younger man closer to himself; one arm around the other mans shoulders, the other arm around his waist, supporting his weight. The telepath turned his head to Shaw, his brow slightly furrowed. He leaned against Shaw, the man that was his worst enemy, shivering violently.

He didn't notice with whom he was here at the moment.

For him Shaw was his only hope now.

...

"Erik? Erik!" He blinked, feeling dizzy; his head hurt and every cell in his body ached. For a moment he didn't know where he was and what had happened, but as he saw Raven's worried face and the destroyed lab , he remembered. He sat up abruptly, his eyes a bit wider than normally as he realised that Charles wasn't there anymore.

"Erik!" Raven jumped up, a bit surprised by Erik's sudden move. "Are you alright? Where is Charles?" Erik had no time to answer; he was about to open his mouth when suddenly Hank stormed up to him and grabbed him by his shoulder "What did you do?" the blue furred mutant hissed "You damn fool, what have you done!"

"Hank!" Raven grabbed Hank by his arm and yanked him away from Erik. "What is gotten into you?" she asked softly , eyeing her boyfriend with worry.

"What's gotten into me? " Hank glared at Raven, then he pointed towards Erik, who stood up on shaky legs "Ask him! It's his fault that I am angry! God damn it, Erik! I've told you to stay away from him!"

Raven's gaze wandered from Hank to Erik, and her eyes were wide in disbelief "Is that true?" she asked, her voice as shaky as Erik's legs. Erik wasn't able to answer directly, and Raven's voice became firm, angrier. "I ask if that's true, Erik!"

Erik pressed his lips together, then he nodded, because he wasn't sure if his voice would fail him,or not. Raven's gaze held a gleam of hurt, disappointment and anger. She was right to feel that way, Erik could understand her, he would probably feel the same way if he was her; after all it really was his fault that Charles had left. God, he felt miserable.

"You stupid idiot!" she walked up to him, slapping him right into the face. It was a pretty hard slap, which made his cheek burn like fire. He had probably deserved it. "How could you! Don't you ever listen to what people say!" She was about to slap him again, but Erik stoped her hand before she could do so. She shook her head, trying to get free of his grip, but he didn't let her hand go. "We have to find him!" she then said, with panic in her voice "What if something happened to him? What if they found him! What if he got hurt?" She was in total panic,but that was understandable; after all it was her brother who was missing. Erik could see that she was about to cry. That was unlike Raven, she was a strong girl. It must be the shock.

"Calm down Raven!" he said, his voice stronger then he felt. "Panic won't help us ! We have to focus on the facts!"

"No!" she screamed, her voice sounding broken "NO! We have to find him!"

"God, Raven; calm-down!" Erik grabbed her by her shoulders, shaking her to bring her back to sanity "What do you want to do now, hm? Do you want to go out, and search for him, without knowing where he is? That's not an option either ! Maybe he will come back; we should wait and see." The last part was only said to calm her down; he knew that Charles wouldn't come back.

Raven sniffed, and Hank gave him an angry glare. It seemed that he maybe should try to be a bit more kindly to her; after all she was just worried. He bent down to her, to look into her eyes "It's okay, Raven." he then said, his voice low and more gentle this time "We will do everything to find him."

Raven sniffed again, rubbing her eyes and tried not to cry "But how?" she asked, with a small voice "How can we find him?"

_Well,_ Erik thought to himself, _that is a good question.._

Suddenly Erik was the one who had to have ideas, suddenly he was the adult who had to look over four teenagers, who looked up to him and expected him to solve their problems.

But, he was just a normal man, he wasn't god; he wasn't able to find a solution for it. In fact, he had no idea what they should do now.

Hank sighed, running a hand over his face "Damn, the lab.." Erik let his gaze wander over the lab, and he gulped. Yeah, the lab wasn't really a lab anymore; it more looked like a chaos out of broken glass and steel.

"We should tidy up." Erik suggested "Maybe you will find some notes, some that might help us.." Hank shook his head,looking a bit sad. Well, the lab had been his favourite room; his baby, you could say. "No...It almost seems as if everything is destroyed. I don't have hopes to finde something usefull." Erik could see that the blue furred scientist was really sad about that fact. He had spend so much time in that lab , and now all his notes and records seemed to be destroyed.

"We're gonna find something." Erik promised "I am sure that not everything was destroyed." he turned to Raven, who was very quiet now "Would you go and find Sean and Alex? They shall help Hank with the lab." She nodded, but Hank shook his head "No,it's alright. I will do this alone..You know, this is kinda my second room, and I feel like I should do it alone."

Erik raised one eyebrow, but nodded. If Hank wanted to do it alone, fine. "Come, Raven." he took her by her shoulder and lead her out of the destroyed lab " We go down to the boys."

They needed to find a way to find Charles. Erik felt his stomach clench and he felt sick. Hopefully, Charles was alright...Hopefully, Shaw didn't get him... He tightened his grip around Ravens shoulder as they walked down the stairs. They would find him, no matter what!

* * *

><p>Thankies for all the reviews :) So, I hope this chappy was okay for ya, see ya as soon as possible !<p> 


	22. Chapter 21: A nice little chat

**Chapter 21**

It was dark outside. The morning was near.

Shaw sat in the armchair, watching the sleeping figure on the bed. It was too dark to see anything else than the outlines. He was alone in the room; no one else was allowed to stay with the young mutant in this room, just him.

The man on the big bed moved, turning around to Shaw. Shaw lifted his head, eyeing the other man closely; he wasn't asleep anymore, he could see it at the way he was breathing. "I know that you are awake " he said, his voice gently but firm. The young man opened his eyes, and for a split second they were as red as the fire of the burned town, until they faded into a bright, ocean like blue. They were glowing in the dark, the only thing that could be seen probably.

There was no confusion in his too blue eyes, nor anger or surprise; he just looked at Shaw as if he knew everything, as if he looked right through him into his soul. Shaw did not flinch, though maybe it would have been better to take the helmet with him. He didn't take the helmet with him into the room,because he wanted to give the telepath a sign of his trust. That was what the young man searched for right now, and so Shaw would give him this.

He could feel the telepath in his head, like a ghost, sliding over his memories and thoughts. It was not like Emma had done it some times before, no; there was a slight pain, a warm feeling, like fire.

"How do you feel?" Shaw asked, his hands moving to the arms of the armchair while he eyed the younger man with interest. The telepath did not answer, but neither did his presence in Shaw's head disappear. Shaw sighed "Well, how about you tell me your name?" He knew that this in front of him was not Charles Xavier, because he was not stupid. He knew that this mutant in front of him was something else.

The man on the bed did not blink _"My name is Charles."_ he answered, inside Shaw's head, not with his real voice " _Charles Xavier."_

Shaw smiled, though it was a cold smile, as he said "No, dear. I know that your are not ' the ' Charles Xavier anymore. " then his smile became gentle, but his eyes stayed cold. The man on the bed furrowed his brow, as if he did not know what Shaw meant. "You don't have to hide." Shaw continued slowly "Not here. You don't have to hide your true self when you are with us." He stood up and walked to the bed, sitting down on it while watching the young mutant, who followed him with his gaze.

_"No hiding?" _the young man asked, his voice unsure. Shaw nodded "Indeed. So, why won't you tell me your real name?"

The man on the bed furrowed his brow, as if he was thinking, trying to remember _" I..Have no real name." _he then answered, slowly _"but..you may call me Phoenix."_

Shaw smirked, leaning back against the bedpost "Phoenix?" he asked "A nice choice for a name." The Phoenix furrowed his brows again, his eyes half-lidded "_It has a reason."_ he answered, and rolled onto his back, so that he looked up at ceiling. He did not use Charles' real voice, instead he chose to speak with his mental voice.

_Er scheint dies zu tun, um sich von dem Xavier Balg zu differenzieren... (He seems to do this because he wants to differentiate himself from the Xavier brat)_

, Shaw thought to himself, and Phoenix' eyes darted to him. Shaw silently asked himself what the man was now, and who exactly he was.

_"Where am I?" _Phoenix asked, his blue eyes boring into Shaw's now. _"I can't remember what happened.." _

Shaw took a deep breath and leaned forward again, holding his gaze "Don't worry, dear. You don't have to remember everything right now. For now, you are here. And here you can be who you like." he smiled his cold smile "That's all you need to know right now."

Those blue eyes flashed up and a hint of red was seen around the iris, as the telepath answered _"You want to use me...I am just a new toy for you." _Shaw supressed a sigh, shaking his head as he took the white hand of the younger man " I-" he began, his voice low and smooth "- never intended to use you. Tztzt, 'use' is such an ugly word. " he leaned forward a bit more, and the telepath propped himself up on his ellbows, so that they had the same eye-level now, as Shaw continued "I want you to be at my side, that's true. But I want you as my follower, as my patner. " a smirk crossed his face "Together we can rule this world. We can clean it off of this who are not worth it. We can create something new. Just as you like it. Together we can reach this state, this power."

Blue eyes became a bright, warm red, and those too red lips formed into a smile _"Power.."_ the other mutant purred, clearly pleased with the idea of having more power.

"Yes." Shaw smiled ,but leaning back " I will go now, so you can sleep a bit more ." he stood up. "We will see each other in the morning." The other man nodded, laying back on to the bed, and Shaw walked out of the room, leaving the man alone.

Shaw sighed, taking the helmet out of Azazel's hands and put it back on to his head. The dull pain and the weird sensation inside his head vanished abruptly, and Shaw was sure that he his mind was his own again. He might did not know who this man was, but one thing was sure; he had to be careful around him. This man was far more dangerous than he looked like. He just hoped that his plan would work out.

"And?" Azazel asked, his voice emotionless. Shaw sighed, rubbing a hand over his face "Es wird alles nach Plan verlaufen." an evil smirk crossed his lips "Ich werde dafür sorgen." (It will go as planned. I'll make sure of that.)

Azazel did not blink, neither did he say anything in return. "Wir werden dem Präsidenten einen Besuch abstatten." Shaw said, as he walked down the long corridor of their new house "Zusammen mit unserem neuen Freund. Danach steht uns Nichts und Niemand mehr im Weg!" he laughed, satisfied with the circumstances. _Nicht einmal Erik._

(We will pay the president a visit. Together with our new friend. After that, no one will stand in our way! _Not even Erik_.)

..

- _Two days later_

...

The President sat at his table, the TV-cameras directed at him. Today he would tell the american public what he would do about the crisis with Russian, and how he would handle it. He did not want to start a war, that was what he would tell his nation. Though, he never came to this.

"Mr. President, we-" the TV-man stopped, suddenly, not speaking further. "Yes? " the president asked, but got no answer. No one moved, no one talked. What was the matter?

The door burst open, and he flinched. "What the-" but his breath stopped as he saw the three persons who entered the room.

One, the most eye-catching, was red. Really red. He looked like a devil ! He WAS a devil! How was that even possible? What trick was that? Then there was another man, tall, hard eyes, cold expression, a smile on his curled lips and a ridiculous helmet on his head. He seemed to be the leader, or at least he had this appearance. But, the one who was the worst of the three was the young man who stood next to the helmet-man, half hidden behind him.

His face was as white as the wall of the room, his eyes big and unnatural blue, his lips as red as blood, and his dark locks tousled. He looked as if he was dead. He wore the clothes of a well-behaved student, in the colors of dark red and black, which seemed to underline his young freatures , but yet it was a strong contrast to his appearance. Those eyes were what scared him the most. They were so intelligent and bright,looking right into his soul.

"Hello, ." the man with the helmet smirked,stepping forward. "Nice to meet you,finally. Such a nice house, really." The president reached for the button on his table, the button who would call his agents, but none came. He froze, staring at the man, who came closer "Oh, don't try to call your dogs." the man's smirk widened "This will be no use. As you can see, my dear partner Phoenix has ensured that no one will interrupt our little talk."

The president backed away with his chair, his eyes not leaving the weird man and his followers "Who are you?" he finally managed to gasp "Who are you,and what did you do to my men! What do you want?"

"Oh,I am sorry!" the man waved off, smiling with false kindness "May I introduce myself? Shaw, Sebastian. I am here to have a nice little chat with you."

The president raised his eyebrows in disbelief "Chat? You...You.." he gestured to the two men behind this Shaw guy "You broke into my office and ..froze my men, to have a chat with me?" Shaw laughed, though it was a humorless laughter "Indeed."

The president shook his head, standing up from his chair while he did so, and placed his hands on the table "That's inacceptable!" Now Shaw laughed out, clearly amused "Oh, well; I don't care. What about listening to my plan, Mr.?"

The president snorted, shaking his head again " Of course not! I won't listen to a madman!"

"Ohhw!" Shaw played hurt, making a grimace "Madman? How unkind, Mr. President." Shaw turned to the young man named Phoenix "Dear, would you show the President some manners?"

The young man walked up next to Shaw, a smirk on his lips, while the rest of his face stayed emotionless. The president suddenly was pushed back on to his chair, his arms folded on the table, while he was not able to move. "Nice to meet you too, Mr. Shaw." he heard himself speak, even if he wasn't aware of it.

A chill ran down his back, and he felt sick. This was sick. Who were they, and what were they doing with him and his men? _"Be quiet, and listen"_ he suddenly heard a voice saying in his head, and it made him shudder once more.

"Well, now. " Shaw took a chair from the side of the room and placed it in front of the table,so that he was looking at the president, who sat there like a stature. "Long story short. I want war."

The presidents' eyes widened barely visible "What?" he gasped. "That is..No!" Shaw sighed and leaned back "Well, not now. Only after the ship crossed the line to cuba."

"No!" the president said again, and would have shaken his head, if he could have. "I will not start a war! Not because of their ship. It might be wrong that they want to place this missle on cuba, but we can talk about it! Not another war, we-" he was cut of by Shaw, who sighed dramatically "How naive and stubborn. I knew that you would not cooperate. What a shame." he nodded towards Phoenix, who gave him a nod back and stepped behind the presidents' chair. "Well, I guess, we have to force you then."

The president laughed a hollow laughter "Oh,really? I won't give in. War is no solution, and if you hurt or kill me then-" Shaw interrupted him once again "My my, who talked about pain and death? " Phoenix placed his hands on the side of the presidents' head, and the president's eyes widened in ..fear? "This won't hurt." Shaw smiled, a malicious smile "You won't even remember it."

The president tried to move away from the hands , but found himself still unable to move "Why do you do this?" he then asked, his last try to stop them "Why do you want war so badly?"

Shaw leaned forward, his cold eyes boring into the wide ones of the president "Because-" he said, slowly, an evil gleam in his eyes "-because this world needs to be cleaned off of you humans." he stood up, his arms raised up in to the air as he spoke "We are the new species, we should rule this world. And you humans are too stupid to survive anyway. It is better to get rid of you." The president looked up at him with disbelief in his eyes, and shock written all over his face. This man was mad ! This man was truly mad!

Shaw looked down at the president, his smirk widened "So,well. You won't remember this talk anway." Suddenly he felt dizzy, and he heard this voice in his head again, talking the same sentences over and over again.

_"If they cross the line, it will be war. We won't let them place this missle on Cuba. If they cross the line, it will be war. We won't let them place this missle on Cuba..."_

The presidents eyes turned dull as he repeated the sentences "If they cross the line, it will be war. We won't let them place this missle on Cuba.."

Shaw smile triumphantly. Perfect, this was perfect. "Oh, well done, Phoenix." Phoenix let go of the president, who stayed still, his eyes dull and his mouth half open. A smile was on thise red lips, and those dark but yet bright eyes lit up. Shaw couldn't hear Phoenix, not when he wore his helmet. But, he had to wear it; it was safer this way. He reached for the young man, who took his hand and let himself be lead out of the room. They both were followed by Azazel, who was as quiet as ever.

Shaw layed his arm around Phoenix' waist, a smirk on his lips. This young man was even better than Emma; much more better. And he wasn't even ugly. Really handy, this man. "You did really well, my dear." he said again. Phoenix made a sound between a purr and a sigh, leaning against Shaw while they walked out of the building.

Phoenix loved him. But, he seemed to love everyone and everything who gave him what he wanted. He was a slut in that way, doing everything to gain more power, to fullfill his needs. Shaw could use this to his own good. And well, as said; the young man was not ugly. He replaced Emma very well, in every kind of way. So, he had everything that he needed and wanted now.

It was perfect.

Everything would go as planned.

* * *

><p>Muhahaha :D<br>Hey yo, Orangneto is back for another chap ;D HoHoHo  
>Anyway; I drew two pics of phoenixCharles, so, if ya wanne see them , just look at my deviantart page (same name as here)<p>

See ya around + thankies for all the reviews ^^-


	23. Chapter 22: Dream?

**Chapter 22**

There would be war.

They said it everywhere; on TV, on the radio, in the newspapers..

There would be war, and nothing seemed to change that fact.

Erik wasn't listening to all those people; not anymore. He didn't care if they killed each other; they were humans, he did not care about them. He was just worried about the place they were in, the country they lived in. They might be mutants, but they lived in the same country as the humans; if America would start a war, they would start the war as well. Of course not purposely . But, where to hide, when there was war? Where to go? _Please_, he thought, _don't let it happen again_.

He did not care about the life of the humans; he cared about the safety of his race; of his kind.

It was something else to start a war if you have a real reason ( for Erik the only real reason would be to get rid of the humans, because they always make the same mistakes over and over again), or to start it because of the stupidity of the human being.

Erik did still hate them, those humans, because they were stupid, doing the same mistakes over and over again, not caring what they were destroying. They proofed it once more. No one would ever be able to take away his hatred for those creatures who called themselves clever and the success of all being. They were reckless, and Erik knew they would fear his kind; they would try to bombe them away, they would send them to camps once again. No, he did not need this.

They should go and bombard themselfs; at least they would do something usefull then.

It was the simple fact that another war was about to start; a war that he could not control ( because, he would, if he could. He would give those humans war, if they wanted it.) Yes, maybe he would give those humans war, in the future ( who could tell?) , but he did not need any war now. Now was not the right time for war. Now was not the right time for anything.

It was weird, and not easy to confess, but yes; yes, his only worry was considered Charles. Fuck those humans, fuck war, fuck Shaw; all he wanted was Charles. The normal Charles; 'his' Charles, you could say. He felt ( if that was even possible) lonely without the blue-eyed mutant. He missed this stupid smile, those bright eyes, and those warm words, those arguments about life that they have had so often.

Charles had grown to a big and important part of his life, and Erik would have never thought that something like this would ever be possible again. He swore himself, once upon a time, that he would never fall in love; love only hurts, only and only, because you would lose those people who you care for anyway.

And here he was now, with those kids that he barely knew for one or two month, without Charles, and he felt lonely, worried, whatever. Charles was strong, Erik knew that, but he was not strong enough to fight against the phoenix inside himself and Shaw. That was impossible, even for the ' oh so great ' professor.

Yes, Erik was sure that Shaw had Charles in his grasp. Shaw needed the telepath to fullfill his plans, and the phoenix was just another great power he could add for his plans. He was sure that Shaw had waited for the right time to get Charles, and now had been the perfect time to get him.

But they needed Charles, they needed him right now; right now when he wasn't there to be there for them. He would know what to do; hell, he could brainwash those humans and everything would be fine! But, of course, Charles would never do something like that. Not with his stupid ideals.

Charles would give them hope, somehow he had always managed to give them hope and trust. He would tell them his plan, that he would know how to handle things ( even if he didn't) and that they had nothing to fear. Erik missed it, the never ending trustworthiness and hope that Charles gave them usually; usually,when he was himself.

It was weird, but without him the mansion seemed cold; too quiet and too big.

Even the kids were quieter as usual, but that was understandable; their role-model and 'mommy' Charles was gone, and now they weren't sure how to handle this new situation.

Sean was the optimist under them; he tried to cheer the others up, giving them hope that they would find Charles. However, he avoided to speak about the war.

Raven was the quietest of all; she was too worried about her brother, and the fact that a war was near, frightened her. She wanted 'her' Charles back, because she , and not only she , needed him now, to fix things.

Funny, how they all thought that Charles could fix all things as easily as Erik could bent metal. Maybe that was the burden of being a telepath and professor.

Alex seemed to drown in self-hatred; not that he showed it to anyone, but Erik could feel it, even if he was no telepath. The way he spoke, the way he sat there, his gaze.. Maybe he was angry at himself, for acting so childish and repellent because he found out about Erik's and Charles' relationship ( was it a relationship at all? ), but who could tell what was going on inside his head? Charles, probably.

Hank was more than stressed and depressed. Not only that his great role-model was gone, no; the lab was completly destroyed. No documents and no notes had survived the attack of Charles. The notes for Cerebro, the scetch for the danger room, the documents about their mutant powers plus the records of Charles' mind; everything destroyed. Only the box with their new 'outfits', how Hank liked to call them, had survived ( Erik still asked himself how). They are bullet proof, Hank had said. Though, that did not explain why they were unharmed. Well, at least they didn't look bad, not that bad at all, but of course Erik would never admit that. Anyway; he had other things to worry about than the style of their 'new outfits'.

Raven had asked him, if they would ask the CIA for help. She didn't know about the struggle that Charles had had with them. So, they were on their own. No help from anyone.

What should they do?

They were only five people...

He was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He had so much in his mind, but still he felt his eyes growing heavier, and soon he found himself asleep, even if it hadn't been his intention...

_...He stood in front of the door to his room. He felt weird, as if he knew that someone or something was behind this wooden door, but he couldn't not place what feeling he felt. All he knew was that he had to go into the room, and so he opened the door slowly and entered to room._

_First , he just walked into the room and closed the door. It was almost dark in the room, the light was dim, so that he could barely see the furniture of his room. He had the ugly feeling of being watched, and turned his head to the bed. His heart nearly dropped down to the bottom of his being as he saw the person who was sitting on his bed. "Charles.." he said, breathed, barely whispered._

_He knew that this was a dream, or had to be a dream ; maybe it was just an illusion inside his head, or not in his head at all. He couldn't tell if this was true, but it had to be, because of the way Charles looked like._

_He was pale; not that kind of pale he used to be as phoenix, no, it was another pale. He looked like a ghost, like a sick person who was about to die soon,maybe. He wore his normal blue cardigan, the one he loved the most, and his hair was combed to the side and smooth as always. He sat there, at the edge of the bed, his legs crossed and eyed Erik with his incredible blue eyes. Those blue eyes were not bright anymore; they were a pale dull blue, looking as if they were clouded with something dark. There was something else Erik noticed. It wasn't only the color of his eyes that seemed to have faded; Charles himself seemed to be close to fading as well. He was almost transparent, the colors of his clothe were dull and too pale. Once again he reminded Erik of a ghost._

_He was fading; his soul, his mind, and Erik could see with his own two eyes that it wouldn't take long until he was gone forever._

_Still, there was one thing that was the same, one thing that made Erik's heart jump a little; the smile. It was there, this smile, bright and kind as always._

_"Erik." Charles said, his voice calm, polite and strong; stronger than he looked like. He had not given up yet; he was still fighting. He might looked pathetic, and most of the people thought he was vulnerable and weak, but he wasn't . He was the strongest telepath of the world; a man who knew of his powers. He would not break or give up so easily._

_"What are you doing here?I mean, how..?" Erik walked up to the bed and sat down next to Charles in the edge. He eyed his friend closely, as he said "Is this real? Or is this just a dream?"_

_Charles laughed and tilted his head to the side "Well...Aren't dreams real in a way?_

_Erik sighed "You know what I mean, Charles..."_

_Charles nodded, slowly "Yeah, guess you're right. "he sighed as well and rested his hands on his knees "It is what you would call real. I am there-" he pointed at Erik's head "I've entered your dream. I've taken the liberty of doing so. I hope that's alright for you." Erik nodded; sure it was alright. Hell, it was good to see Charles again, even if this was just a dream and Charles not Charles himself but his mind, or , whatever._

_"So..." Erik began, his eyes still on Charles, who replied his gaze calmly "How can you be here? How are you able to be here? Why are you here? Where are you? Are you with Shaw? What happened-" Erik couldn't stop all those questions, and it made himself wonder. But Charles just raised his hand and smiled kindly "We have no time to talk about that. I am here, and I have not much time. That is all I can say."_

_He smoothed his trousers and cleared his throat, his eyes fixed on his knees now,avoiding Erik's gaze, though is voice was still strong and calm "Erik, it is Shaw's fault that the president want to start a war. You are right;he found me, us, and now I am with him...He used my telepathy to force the president to believe that war is the only right way. You have to stop him , Erik, because I fear I can't do it. You see-" he smiled a bit sadly "- at the moment I am to weak to fight against the phoenix. And even if, I couldn't escape Shaw that easily, not in my current state." he sighed, rubbing his hand nervously over his knees "I fear, I have the responsible if world war three starts." he looked up now, to Erik, and Erik could feel the pain that Charles felt. It made him sick. "Erik,please, you have to stop those ships!"_

_Erik stared at Charles, than he laughed hollow "And how? And why? Holy hell, Charles ! I am just one man, and the kids are not ready to fight, you've said so yourself! What are we supposed to do?" _

_Charles squirmed in discomfort "I know, I know.." he mumbled "But, you are the only hope !" he reached for Erik's hand, and Erik was surprised by his strong grip. He had thought that Charles would simply grab through him, like a ghost "Erik!" Charles said, his voice strong and his eyes dark "Please! The fate of our WORLD lies in our hands! We have to DO something !" Erik shook his head , but did not free his hand out of Charles'. He liked the feeling of Charles' hand on his. "Don't you agree with me?" Erik asked "I mean..Look at us, and look at their ships. They would crush us,if we tried to get near them. It would be our death!"_

_Charles leaned forward, his pale blue eyes boring into Erik's "No,Erik. YOU can control metal. You could push their ships away from the line. Anyway, do you think those soliders want a war? They will be scared; they will listen to your words, simply because they know that war is not right. They are not stupid, they just follow their orders." _

_Erik snorted at that " My life was ruined by man who 'just followed' orders. Why should I safe their life?"_

_"Because-" Charles nearly yelled "Because the fate of our world depends on it! Bloody hell, Erik! Don't play stupid!" Charles glared at Erik, almost angry. Erik took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair "But, Charles, this plan is too dangerous. Too uncertain. It will fail, I am sure." Charles continued to glared at Erik, but then he leaned back and rubbed a hand over his face "I know.." he mumbled , sounding tired "I know. "_

_They sat there then for several minutes ( or, Erik guessed it were minutes; who could tell how time floats when you are in a dream?) , when Charles suddenly tensed. "Charles, what...?" Erik began, but Charles just shook his head, his eyes wide, when Erik suddenly heard a laughter._

_"Wie niedlich. Ihr passt wirklich gut zusammen." Erik was on his feet in mere seconds, turning around to the man who stood in the corner of the room, together with someone who looked like Charles evil twin brother- the phoenix- who was dressed like Charles, exept for the colors; the phoenix wore red and black._

_They stood there together, Shaw's arm around the waist of the phoenix, who watched them with half-lidded, red eyes._

_Erik wanted to vomit right here and now._

_"Shaw !" Erik hissed,and he had the urge to throw himself at the man, but then he realised that this was ' just' a dream , or a dream world, and that he wouldn't be able to harm Shaw anyway ( even if it was his own dream..) How was this possible anyway? How could Shaw be in his dream? It must be the phoenix' doing, there was nothing else what could explain it otherwise._

_"Schön, dich wieder zu sehen, Erik." Shaw smiled, and Erik growled low. "Halt dein dreckiges Maul!" He hadn't used his German for a long time, and he himself could hear the slight accent in it. How long had it been that he had been talking in German? Or that he had been in his country of birth? He wouldn't say home, because Germany had never been his real ' home', or how you would call the country you live in? And, no, also not Poland, and neither America. It was weird, but now that he thought about it, he had no real country to call his home country..._

_"So höflich wie immer." Shaw said, a cold smile on his lips. He made fun of him. He did not take him serious. He played with Erik, again, and Erik was about to fall into the trap, again..._

_"Erik, don't-" Charles was by his side, his hand on Erik's arm to calm him." Don't let him control you again.." he whispered, but Erik was sure that Shaw and the phoenix heard his words anyway._

_"I am surprised, Charles." Shaw smiled, his cold gaze directed at Charles,who held his gaze with defiance in his eyes. "I never throught that you would be able, or strong enough, to make it into Erik's mind." He spoke english again, just because he wanted Charles to understand his words. "Danke für die Blumen." Charles replied, a smirk on his lips. _

_Erik furrowed his brows and so did Shaw. "Ah,I understand." Erik then mumbled "It's because you are in my head, isn't it?" Charles did not look at Erik, his gaze was still on Shaw, as he nodded slowly. "But I prefer to speak English." he then said, and Erik was sure that his Brittish accent was even stronger now, as if to mock Shaw._

_"I don't care what language we speak." Shaw said, but Erik was sure he said it in German. Charles must have done something, so that he spoke English, or , at least that Erik heard him speaking English._

_"I am here to give you an option, Erik." Shaw's eyes turned to Erik again, and Erik narrowed his eyes "Option?" he asked, almost laughing at that. As if Shaw would give someone an option.._

_"Well,indeed." Shaw confirmed "I give you two options, and you can decide what to do."_

_"Don't!" Charles hissed, grabbing Erik's arm more firmly "He tries to lure you into another trap! Don't listen!"_

_Shaw's lips curled into a sneer "Time for you to shut up,my dear." Charles flinched, and he pressed his hand against his right temple,pressing his eyes together as if his head hurt too much. It was the phoenix' doing; he had his two fingers on his temple, me mimicing Charles' technique. He did that on purpose,making fun of Charles, who wasn't looking at him anyway. Erik gave Charles a worried glance, but he knew that the telepath would be alright, so he turned back to Shaw "Fine, but hurry." he said, knowing that the pain that Charles felt would end as soon as he had agreed to one of the options. Probably._

_"Well,see." Shaw sighed dramatically, while the phoenix stayed as quiet as he did before. Weird, he seemed so calm.. "You have two options; go,and help those stupid humans who want to start a war, or go, and free your little telepath out of my grasp." a wicked grin crossed Shaw's lips "What will you do?" Erik pressed his lips together, and the hate against the man was so great that he wished he could rip him into pieces. "Why should I believe you?" he spat, instead. Yeah, why should he believe him? _

_"Ach, well, you see.." Shaw sighed, walking up to Erik, who began to growl "..I've always loved to play games. And I always knew that we both will meet each other again, for the final fight." he laughed, a dry and wicked laughter, at least to Erik's ears "So, why should I wait until you've finally discovered how to find me? No, I don't care when we will meet, I just throught that you might be interested. I mean.." Shaw trailed off and gave Charles and pityful glance "I mean, you can save the humans, of course, but...Hach, I fear, your telepath needs your help,doesn't he?Hm?" Shaw began to circle Erik, who stood perfectly still, not looking at Shaw at all. His hands were balled into fists, and his jaw was clenched. He was angry,so damn angry, and he just wanted to kill Shaw right here and now!_

_"Fine!" he whispered, his voice full of loath and hate. He didn't want to play one of Shaw's stupid games, but Shaw was right; Charles wasn't able to last much longer. He was too weak already, and the phoenix was too strong. "Erik!" Charles whined, clearly not pleased with the idea that his own life was more important to Erik than the welfare of the humans and the peace of their world._

_"Soo.."Shaw said, stopping in front of Erik, who looked straight ahead. If this wouldn't be a dream, if this would be real... Oh, he would have killed Shaw already.. "Where do we meet?" Erik asked, his voice as cold as ice, without any hint of emotions. Emotions weren't needed here, not with Shaw. Not right now. "Well, what about a place near by? Hm? So that you don't have to go too far... A place like...New York City?"_

_The knuckles of Erik's hands were white by now, and his eyes just small slits. Of course, New York City again.. A big and famous city,with all those people...  
><em>

_It didn't matter wich option he would chose;; people would die,wouldn't they? Shaw didn't care about them, and neither did Erik, but Erik tried to avoid killing. Of course, it didn't matter to him at all, he hated those humans, but.._

_He didn't want to make New York City into a battlefield. Not with Shaw, and certainly not with the phoenix.._

_He had seen what Charles had done. He knew what the phoenix would do._

_But, what had he to lose? Besides his own life, besides Charles.. "Deal." he snarled , his arms pressed to his side, standing stiff like a board. The eyes of the phoenix flashed up, and for a split second there was something like a smile on his face, but it was barely visible. "Fine." Shaw said, walking back to the phoenix, grabbing him by the arm "We will see each other in two days, two pm, and you'll come alone. You'll find us." he said, grinning "Don't make us wait." then his gaze turned to Charles, who stared back at him with wild resistance in his eyes. "We have no need to talk later. I guess, you know what will await you anyway."and then they disappeared, leaving Erik and Charles alone in the room, which felt oddly cold suddenly._

_"You are a fool, Erik Lehnsherr." Charles whispered, his eyes closed. Erik turned around to him, his brow furrowed , ready to yell at Charles, that he would finally kill Shaw, and that he didn't care about the humans, but then he realized that Charles wasn't in the state to stand his yells, his anger. He looked tired and even more fragile._

_"Please, change your mind.." Charles pleaded, and he really begged. Erik,however, shook his head and put his arms around Charles, to embrace him "No." he said, his voice calm and steady "No,I won't change my mind. I will kill Shaw. We will defeat the phoenix. And then, together, we can stop the humans from killing themselfs." ...if you want to..  
><em>

_"Oh,my friend." Charles laughed, but it was a bitter laughter "It's not that easy.."_

_Erik pressed Charles' body against his, embracing him tighter as if he was afraid that Charles would vanish any moment "I know.." he breathed. He felt Charles' laughter more than he heard it, and it made him smile. "We are so dramatic, aren't we?" Charles chuckled against his shoulder. "Our whole life is dramatic." Erik replied, but had to chuckle as well._

_Charles freed himself out of the embrace and looked at Erik, a small smile on his lips . He said something, but Erik couldn't hear him; it was as if he was underwater. Suddenly, the surroundings began to fade, and with them Charles. The dream was fading; he was going to wake up. No,no, he didn't want to wake up, not now! He wanted to have some a moment with Charles, just some minutes.. He saw Charles' smile, and he could read the words from his lips "I love you." he said.. The telepath leaned forward ,just slightly, and placed a soft kiss on Erik's lips._

Then the dream was gone, and Erik startled up. He was in his room,on his bed. It was early in the morning and he could hear some birds.

He was alone again.

The metal-bender pressed his lips together, until they were a thin,white line. He would save Charles; he would kill Shaw. He rubbed his hands over his face and tried to calm down, but that wasn't that easy.

Nothing was easy...

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><p>Hoho, Orangneto is back !<p>

Finally another chappy xD Well,yeah, here you go. Thanks for all the reviews, and thanks to all who still read this story xD

+ I did not translate the German , I know. Just seemed cooler for me xD (at least in this chapp ;) )

Anyway; a friend of mine asked my if she could translate the story into russian :D ! That's so awesome ^^ She already translated two chappys.

See you as soon as possible!


	24. Chapter 23: The calm before the storm

**Chapter 23**

It was a dark, gray day. It would be raining soon. He walked down the stairs. He wouldn't say goodbye.

It was so quiet today, and Erik felt as if this was the last day of the earth. It sounded weird, and of course it was not true, but the weather and the mood were just too bad to think of something else than the end of the world.

He tugged at the sleeves of his leather jacket, which barely covered the suit, their costume.. Yes, he wore it, but just because Hank had said it was bulletproof.

He was nearly at the door, when he heard steps behind him. He stoped, his hand on the door handle, as Raven began to speak "I knew you would do it on your own." There was no anger or surprise in here voice, no; her voice was surprisingly calm and steady.

Erik did not turn around to her, he was facing the door as he answered as calmly as she did "Well, and I assume you want to stop me?"

There was a short silence between them until Raven spoke again "No." she said "No, not at all." He heard her steps, and then suddenly her hand was on his shoulder "I want to come with you." Erik turned around to her, just halfways, and saw her stern face, the yellow eyes and the blue skin, and he noticed that she wore the suit as well. She had planned to come with him. He had not told them what he was about to do, and he silently asked himself if Raven knew where he was about to go. Did she believe he was about to go to save the humans? Well, he wouldn't tell her the truth anyway.. 

"No." his voice was cold, his grip firm as he took her hand away from his shoulder, turning back to the door "I have to do this alone."

"But why?" she asked, now now her voice was a bit higher than normal "Why? What are you going to do? Where are you going?" So, she did not know anything... But, why was she here if she didn't know anything? He did not answer, and suddenly Raven seemed to realize "You know where Charles is ,don't you?" she asked, softly, carefully. She had thought he would go for the humans. He did not. She was a smart girl. He had not thought she would figure it out.

Was she dissapointed?

Or, maybe glad?

"I do." he answered, calmly , but still repellent. He couldn't afford to be nice to her now. He didn't want her sympathy, not for this mission. He maybe would have needed her help, but he could do it alone. He would do it alone. He was a loner, it was better this way. He didn't want her or one of the boys to get hurt because of something that had to do with his life, his past. "He is my brother!" she whispered, and for a split second he thought she had read his mind. He could feel how she glared at him, practically staring a hole into him. "I have to help him!I won't wait here , not when I could do something! I CAN'T simply wait here! You need my help,our help, because what ever you are going to do, you won't be able to do it alone !"

Erik snorted, his gaze firmly fixed on the door in front of him, while the door handle under his hand began to bend slowly "No." his voice was almost a growl, an angry whisper. She was stubborn, but that had been clear from the start; Charles was her family, her brother. Of course she wanted to help him, but she did not understand.. "I cannot allow you to go with me ! This is my fight, Raven. I am going to meet Shaw, and I can't take you with me, because I would risk your safety." he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself; he could not allow himself to loose his temper right now, not when he was so close to his target. "Just, stay here and try to be a nice kid."

He could hear her hiss, and her voice was full of anger as she spoke, nearly screamed "Don't make fun of me , Erik! I am not a kid anymore, as well as the others ! We are nearly adults, Erik!"

Erik spun around abruptly, taking Raven by surprise "Then-" he hissed back "-you should act like an adult, and not like a hurt kid who is angry because it doesn't get what it wants!"

Raven's hands balled into fists, and he could see the tears of anger and hurt in her eyes. He did not feel sorry for her. He had to act like this, because otherwise she would follow him. "You don't get it!" she screamed, and Erik was sure that the boys would hear her. Damn, he didn't want them to hear them.. He didn't need more trouble."I can't wait here! I can't! It would drive me crazy, because I would know that you risk your life for my brother while I do nothing! I can't do that!" she took a step forward "Please, Erik, take me with you!"

Erik's eyes narrowed, turning back to the door once more "You want to do something? Take the blackbird and fly to the beach, I am sure you will be more help there then with Shaw."

He had thought she would begin to scream at him again.

He had thought she would be angry, or dissapointed.

He had thought she would try to stop him.

Nothing like this came.

"I see..." was her answer, and her voice was so calm again, almost accepting. Right now she was reminding him of Charles. "You won't change your mind, won't you?No matter what I say, you will still keep me from going with you, right?" And she didn't wait for an answer, because the answer was already clear to them both "At least take this with you." She walked pushed something into his hand, and as he looked at it he realized that it must be something like a walkie-talkie. "What's this?" he asked, a bit perplex.

Raven chuckled slightly , though her eyes were sad. She was not pleased with Erik's decision, and she feared she would lose her brother as well as him. "It's a mobile phone. Well, at least that's how Hank calls it. It works like a normal phone, but over several more distances, even around the world." Erik furrowed his brow and shook his head. Really, this kid was crazy...

"It was supposed to connect us, for our first mission or when you both are not at home, or if anyone of us is out... Hank said it would be usefull to know where everyone of us is.. And since walkie-talkies don't work for far distances.." she trailed off, clearing her throat "It was meant to be a surprise for Charles, because then he wouldn't have to worry about us when he isn't around to connect us with his telepathy." Erik smiled slightly, but this smile was fading quickly, because reality took its hold on him again. "It does work like a normal phone, and our phones are all connected. I have one too." she held up another mobile phone. They were blue and yellow, like the suits, and had keys, reminding Erik of a typwriter. They still looked a lot like a walkie-talkie to Erik, but who knew; maybe someone else would make mobile phones for the rest of the world as well, and then they would look differently.. But, for now, they had to hope that there would be a 'later' at all.. "I..Hope it's a use for you..somehow."

Erik sighed, nodding "Thanks." he said, maybe a bit dryly, but what else should he say? He had to go now, and maybe he would never come back. Should he laugh now, or smile, or cry? What was he supposed to feel? He couldn't tell, because he felt a mix of emotions inside, many of them that he couldn't place, and some that he didn't even knew that he had them.

"I have to go now." was what he said, and a pained smile was all that Raven gave him.

They found no words to say.

"Goodbye, Erik." Raven finally said, and it felt like a goodbye forever.

It actually did hurt, in his heart, and he hastily opened the door and closed it without saying anything in return. He was sure that he had seen Raven crying as he closed the door.

He didn't know that she had already known that he would go alone. Else she wouldn't have had the mobile phones with her.

...

The ride to New York City took endless long, and no matter how fast Erik drove, time didn't seem to flow. Endless gray clouds , that was all he got to see.

It had begun to rain, and he parked the car somewhere near a side street. Shaw had said he would know where to find them, but Erik had no clue where to go. Now that he thought about it; he had not clue about anything.

He had no clue how he could save Charles, he had no clue what would happen if Shaw wasn't even there, he had no clue what could happen afterwards, he had no clue if he would be alive after this.

People ran past him, papers and briefcases over their heads so they wouldn't get wet, but Erik only laughed silently at them; they were already wet.

He walked into the other direction, tall , his gaze blank. No one noticed him, or his too bright yellow suit, which could be seen under his leather jacket. The city seemed so gray and dull, the people wearing colors that were pale and depressing, while he was the only colorful spot in the whole city. Once more he felt out of place. God, he felt lonely...

The rain was cold, and the wind was not warmer either. He did not really feel the cold, to be true, he did not feel anything; he felt oddly numb.

Soon he seemed to be the only man on the street, the only person who was walking through this empty city, and it looked like the apocalypse to him, but of course it wasn't; it was just a normal, rainy autumn day. He took a deep breath; the air was fresh and he could almost smell the rain.

_Oh well_, he thought to himself_, I just hope this ends ..well_. He nearly jumped as he suddenly heard a voice inside his head _"It will end well." _He knew, that this voice inside his head was just inside his head, but it felt as if Charles was walking directly behind him, and he couldn't help from turning around. His breath stopped; it was true, Charles was walking behind him.

He wore the same suit that Erik wore, and he had this stupid smile in his lips, and his eyes shone wild and bright. He was not real of course, he was just an illusion, but for Erik he felt more than real at the moment.

_"I knew you wouldn't change your mind." _Charles smiled softly, though his brow was slightly furrowed, giving him a rather funny expression. "Of course I wouldn't." Erik answered calmly, but remembered that he could simply talk to Charles via his thoughts. Charles could read his mind anyway. Charles took a deep breath, as if to calm or steady himself, and nodded. _"I knew you wouldn't."_ he walked up to Erik, so that they stood next to each other_. "So, are you ready?"_

Erik laughed, but it was a humorless laughter, _Could I ever be ready for this?_

Charles tilted his head , not looking at Erik; he was looking at the empty street before them. At the end of the street,in the far distance, the clouds seemed to be less thick , and some sunlight could be seen.

_Will you stay with me?_ he asked, his gaze as well directed at the small spot of light in front of them.

_"Haha, oh Erik.." _Charles laughter was warm and cordial_, _and Erik felt like a small child who had just asked a stupid question._ " Of course I will."_

_Till the end? _he asked, his voice unsure._  
><em>

Another laughter,warm,soothing.. _"Of course."_

_Won't they notice you? _, he wanted to know, and suddenly the fear that he would be alone again gripped him tightly. Charles shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes as he did so _"No. I can shut them out, but not completly." _he stroke the strandes of hair out of his eyes _"The phoenix...I.." _he paused, not completly sure whatever he was now, and what he wasn't. It was long clear that they both were one person, but for Erik and Charles they would still be different ones. _"He can read your mind. He will notice if I block all your thoughts, so a conversation might be a bit difficult. " _he sighed_ "But, difficult doesn't mean that it doesn't work." _

Erik closed his eyes, and he felt the cold breeze on his skin. He didn't want Charles to get into more trouble just because he wanted to talk to him.. Charles laughed, and Erik opened his eyes again,looking into Charles' _"My friend, I am already lost in trouble. It won't matter to me."_

_So.._ Erik said, not breaking the eye contact. Charles was still smiling and to Erik he almost looked like an angel. Not because he was so beautiful, not because this situation was so damn weird, no; it was just because the way he looked at him, the way the bit of light seemed to glow around him ( probably the aura of his soul? The aura of his illusion?). Maybe it was Erik who was hallucinating.. _They won't be able to see you?_

Charles shook his head _"No. They won't. Because-" _he leaned forward ,tapping his index-finger against Erik's head_ "-I am in there, and-" _he placed his hand on Erik's chest, over his heart _"there."_

Erik gulped, staring at Charles, and he felt like laughing and crying at the same time. He placed his own, gloved hand on Charles', and he couldn't help but to be surprised how real Charles' hand felt under his.

Such a perfect illusion.. Perfect, but still not real. Not real, but enough for now.

Enough for ever?

Enough for Erik..

_We should probably go now. _Even his mental voice was sounding small and almost weak, and it sounded weird to his own ears. Or mind.. Whatever..

_"Are you ready now?"_

_Yes..Yes, I think I am._

Charles gave him another smile, a bright one, one that filled his heart with hope and trust; one of Charles' typical smiles. Maybe, just maybe, Charles had another mutation; the mutation of charm, the mutation to make people trust him without using his real powers,his mind-control, at all.

Maybe this wasn't even a mutation.

Maybe this was just Charles.

Charles reached for his hand and they both looked at each other. It felt like hours, like an entless time, but in truth it only were mere minutes. Then, Charles squeezed Erik's hand slightly, nodding, and Erik nodded back.

They had to go now.

So they walked, hand in hand, into the light, hoping that the fight would end without a tragedy...

* * *

><p>He yo<br>Sorry, this time it is a bit shorter ^^" Well, I just thought it is a good end for a chappy + a bit calm and nice stuff before the storm is always good xD

Soooo,see ya all, thanks to you, as always :)


	25. Chapter 24:The fight, the end?

**Chapter 24**

They walked through the empty city, hand in hand, and for Erik it felt like they walked forever. He could not tell how long they actually walked, but then Charles stopped, and Erik stopped as well. _"Do you have a plan?"_ the telepath asked , his voice curious and stern.

Erik licked his lips. He could taste the slightly bitter taste of the rain on them, _I am going to get Shaw killed_. _That's my plan_. Charles sighed, his brow furrowed and his eyes bright with concern _"Erik, killing him will not end this. This is no solution. "_

Erik snorted, drawing his head back to look somewhere else than at Charles ,_And? What are you expecting me to do then? Ask him nicely if he let's you go? And after that, I just forgive him for killing my parents_?

Charles sighed again, shaking his head_ "No,of course not. It's not that easy, I know. But, killing him will lead you on the wrong path, it will make him win. Then you are truly his creation. I..just think that there are other ways to get rid of him than killing him.."_

Erik laughed his hollow laughter, not amused or satisfied at all, _Of course. Like, getting him into the CIA-quarters? Really, Charles; this man deserves the death more than anyone else._

Charles wasn't looking at him anymore; he seemed to look into the far distance, lost in thoughts. This talk wouldn't lead to anything, and they both knew it. It was on of the points were their thoughts began to lead into different directions. _"You won't be able to do this without a plan." _Charles finally said, his voice low and stern.

_Don't worry, Charles_, Erik smiled, but it didn't look warm at all, _I'll do it. With or without a plan. Shaw will die today._

Charles gave him one of those sharp looks; one of those knowing glances, those that made you feel unconfortable, as if he knew everything. He didn't say anything though.

They continued to walk in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts. The rain was still falling, falling down on them. Erik was glad that the suit seemed to be waterproof as well as bulletproof. He wasn't that wet, at least. Charles let go of Erik's hand, but they continued to walk.

Then Erik saw them. Shaw, standing on the empty street, his hands folded in front of his chest, a smirk on his damn face. He wore the stupid helmet, his noble like clothes, standing up stright and tall. He was looking at Erik and Erik alone. He wasn't able to see Charles. One good thing , at least.

Then there was the phoenix, pale like a stature of marble, dark veins under his eyes, which looked like deep cracks in the too white, porcelain- like skin. His eyes were red, fire red, and his hair not wavy anymore. It seemed to be smooth, like silk, and it gave him a whole different appearance. Erik noticed that it was a way longer than he had always thought. It was the outfit he wore that startled him; it was the same outfit that he and Charles wore, the same suit, but in dark-red and yellow. Erik did not know where Shaw did get that suit, if he stole it or made it himself, or if that suit was real or just an illusion. He knew just one thing - this man in front of him, wearing this suit, looked like a doll, like perfection itself,as if his body was made for it, and it made him sick.

It was Charles , who was wearing it, but at the same time it was not Charles at all. At the same time, this, in front of him, was not the Charles he knew. _"Calm down."_ Charles voice next to him was calm, soothing, and Erik could feel a hand on his shoulder; Charles' hand. Right..He had to stay calm. Rage wouldn't be usefull now, not now. He needed to stay calm, no matter what. Charles was with him. He would do it.

"Ah,endlich sehen wir uns wieder, Erik." Shaw held out his hand elegantly, as if the take Erik's, as if he wanted to welcome him in a warmly.

"Just shut up!" Erik growled, fully aware that he spoke English. He had no need to speak German, not with this man. He did like his native language, but sometimes he just hated it. Like now.

"Oh,you would like to speak English? Well,okay then. " Shaw gave him one of those patronizing smiles and let his hand fall back to his side. Erik growled again, his anger becoming greater. He was so close to Shaw, so close to kill him.. "So,Erik. What will you do now?"

"You were the one who wanted to meet me here." Erik spat, his eyes narrowed. Shaw nodded thoughtfully "Sure ,sure. But, don't you already know what I want to ask you?"

Erik laughed, it was a cold and bitter laughter, and his hands tightened into fists. After all that had happened, after all that he had gone through, after all that, Shaw had the guts to ask him, to expect him, to join them? That was laughable, stupid, and it made Erik angry; Shaw played with him, did not take him serious.

"I thought you know my answer already!" he snarled, his face an arrogant mask "And I have to admit, I thought you are smart enough to know that I will kill you!"

Shaw looked at him, thoughtfully again, but then he started to laugh. He laughed, clearly amused, and clapped his hands "Wunderbar!" he laughed "Wunderbar! You really want to kill your creator, Erik? Your father? Really, that's not nice, after all the things I did for you-"

"YOU!" Erik screamed, pointing with his index-finger at Shaw, anger clearly written on his face "YOU did NOTHING for me! You made me into a monster, you've killed my family and you've shattered my hopes! YOU are my creator, yes, but not my father! Don't you dare to ever say that again!" rage was boiling inside of him, rage and hate and anger, and he wished he could just kill Shaw already. He couldn't bear to look at this man. He hated him with all his being. "You've taken everything from me.." he whispered. _But not my pride. Not my power. Not my will._

"Oh ,really, Erik; I am disappointed." Shaw said, playing hurt " I thought you know that I only did it for your well-being." He raised his arms, one hand sneaking around the phoenix' waist to bring him closer to his body "See, Erik, I took everything from you to make you the man you are now. But,see; I can't give you back what I've taken, but I can give you something else." He smiled, a smirk on his lips "I can give you power. Together we can rule the world." his gaze wandered from Erik to the phoenix, who was quiet, not moving "And so much more."

Erik took two steps forward, but was held by Charles, who tried to calm his angry friend down_ "Erik!" _he whispered, even if he didn't had to _"Erik, calm down! Don't you see? He tries to make you lose control!" _"How dare you to say such bullshit! Are you really so stupid to believe I would fall for your trick, that I would become your toy again? Not again, Herr Doktor!" he spoke the last sentence with so much hate that Charles behind him cringed.

Shaw's eyes narrowed, his amused expression turned into an almost angry one "Du bist naiv, Erik Lehnsherr!" he smirked "Oder sollte ich besser sagen, Max Eisenhardt?" he almost purred, full of satisfaction as he saw Erik's face turning pale.

_"Erik?"_ Charles asked, his voice full of worry _"Erik, what does that-"_ He never got an answer.

Erik jumped forward with a roar, his eyes almost glistening with pure hate. "Ich bring dich um, du verdammtes Arschloch! Ich bring dich um!" He reached for Shaws throat, blinded by his hatred, but was stopped by Shaw's fist, which grabbed Erik's hand rougly. "Naive as always." Shaw purred, a wicked grin on his lips, as he threw Erik over his shoulder.

Erik grunted in pain as he hit the hard asphalt, but quickly got up to his feet again. He did not notice the pain in his left shoulder, too great was his hatred and fury. He started another attack,but was suddenly stopped. He couldn't move any further. His gaze swept to the phoenix, who stared at him with his red eyes, his bright red mouth formed into a thin smile of malice.

_Damn_, he thought, _I forgot about your abilities, Charles._

_"I am sorry!" _Charles voice rang in his head _"I am sorry, my friend! I try to loosen his grip, but after that you have to run."_

_What? I-_

_"No,Erik!Trust me, after that, you have to run! I think I got a plan."_

Shaw made a step towards him, the grin of triumph already written on his lips, as the phoenix suddenly flinched. Erik felt the hold slip, and suddenly he was able to move again. "Was zum-" Shaw turned around to the phoenix, anger and astonishment in his eyes. The phoenix, however, gave him a smirk, blue eyes sparkling back with joy. "You!" Shaw hissed, but the phoenix, or better, Charles, just stuck out his tongue. He gave Erik a nodd, and Erik began to run. He heard Shaws laughter, but he was sure that the man was annoyed. "You're running away, Erik?" He screamed "You want to play? Fine, we play!"

Erik turned around a corner, and nearly screamed in surprise as he saw Charles standing there. _"Come on!"_ Charles breathed, grabbing Erik's arm and began to run down a side street. _What the fuck is going on here, Charles ! _Erik hissed in his thoughts, stumbling after Charles, who ran faster than Erik had ever seen him running. _"We're playing." _Charles answered, not looking back _"You would not have a chance on the open street. It's a too wide area. We need more closeness to get him. To get rid of the helmet. If we manage that, I can control him."_

_But,_ Erik said, as they turned around another corner , _but, I don't get it! The phoenix-_

_"I know what you think." _Charles answered, sounding a bit breathless _"The phoenix won't be able to locate or control you,not as long as I block your mind from his view." _They ran along the empty street, rain hitting Erik's face, while Charles wasn't wet at all. He was just an illusion,after all. It was weird, but for all the others he was running alone through the street.

_And, how long will you be able to block my mind from his view?_ Erik asked, as they both were running towards an new built building, which was still under construction.

_"I don't know."_ Charles answered honestly._ "But I hope long enough to get into the building." _Iron pipes, wires, metal bellows,steel ingots.. The building was a dangerous ground for Shaw, a perfect trap.

Erik could hear Shaw's screams. They were close on their heels, Erik was sure they would get them soon. They had to get to the building, though , he was not sure what to do next. It made him wonder that no people seemed to see them, nor that anyone was on the street. True , it rained, but Erik couldn't shake off the feeling that it was the phoenix' doing. "Lauf nur Erik, lauf nur. Am Ende weisst du sowieso nicht wohin!" Erik gulped, running faster. He was not out of breath, but neither did he believe that he was able to run much longer. He needed his strength for the final fight, not for running away..

Finally they reached the building. The ground-floor was almost complete built, only the lights were missing.

_What now? _Erik thought, searching for a perfect hiding place. He would attack from ambush; that was not very noble, but all that Erik wanted was to kill Shaw, and he really didn't care how.

_"Upstairs!" _Charles pointed at the elevator several steps ahead, in the middle of the building. He winced, then, gripping his head in pain. "Charles?" Erik coudln't help but ask out loud. _"M' okay." _Charles hissed, though his mental-image was flickering like the broken television broadcast. Erik had no time to argue , they could already see the light of the phoenix' aura. _"C'mon, Erik!"_ Charles grabbed his arm again, and both hurried to the elevator doors.

_It doesn't work._ Erik pointed out as he looked at the elevator-buttons. Charles snorted, amused, giving Erik a side-glance_ "Does that matter for you?"_

The elevator-doors slid open with one swift movement of his hands It was one of the new elevators, roomy and with mirrors as walls. Erik was sure that annoying music would play if they had electricity.

_I hope this will work, _he murmured but Charles just gave him an encouraging nodd "_Sure it will. " _he said _" You moved the satellite." _Erik snorted, shaking his head, _this is something eles. _But he didn't want to complain now, they had to act, the time was running out.

He lifted his hands, the doors of the elevator closed, and it was dark. Then he concentrated, felt the metal, his powers. It was easier to move the damn thing than he had thought, and soon the elevator was on his way upwards. He had to grin at the thought that Shaw had to use the stairs.

He didn't count the floors, he just stopped the elevator. The doors slid open, and he was ready to take a step out of it, as suddenly several construction worker tried to grab him. Erik made a grimace, surprised by the sudden action of the strange men, trying to get rid of their hands on him, but they continues to drag at his suit. Their eyes were blank, wide, and their faces emotionless.

_Charles !, _Erik turned his head to the side to look back at his friend, but instead he looked at the phoenix. His heart made a jump, his eyes widened in shock. How was this possible? It was still just an illusion, he realized that as he saw the flickering. Damn, the phoenix must have noticed that Charles tried to help him!

He was dragged out of the elevator by the men, still trying to push them away. The master of metal saw no other option then; he balled his hands into fists and ordered the steel ropes to wrap around the bodies of the men.

The men where held in place now, the ropes tight around their bodies, as Erik turned back to the illusion of the phoenix. His eyes met blue ones; Charles, who was still struggling to get the control over the small part of his own mind that was still able to create the illusion. "Charles!" Erik said out loud, stepping back to the elevator, but Charles desperatly shook his head , eyes wide _"Erik, they're coming,they're coming!"_

Erik knew that he had to act now. But how? But how?

He turned around to the men, who were unconscious now. Charles must have done it. His gaze wandered to the glass door which lead to the stairs. He could hear them coming. His gaze wandered over the unfinished floor, over metal ropes and thick beams, over wooden boards and cables.

"Erik, Erik, wo bist du-uu?" Shaw's voice a singsong "Erik, Erik wo hast du dich verste-eeckt?" Erik pressed his lips together, his eyes darting back to the image of Charles, who still struggled with himself. No help from Charles for now, so he had to come up with an own idea.

He hurried to the next best iron pillar, pressing his body against it, trying not to breath too much. Shaw would find him anyway, but Erik could be faster. This was his hunting ground. Here was enough iron for him to win this.

He heard the steps of Shaw, heavy on the wooden floor. Each step was carefully placed, with force ,louder than it had to be. "Komm herraus, Erik! Du hast keine chance!"

Erik pressed his lips even tighter together, pressing himself further into the iron pillar. The phoenix couldn't sense him, it meant that Charles had still some control. The steps stopped, and Erik's heart was pounding wildly in his chest. Where was he? He had the urge to take a look, but that would be too risky.

Just when he was about to take a look, a sudden pain shoot through his back, and he hit the floor, hard, somersaulting several times until he hit the wall with his head. He groaned in pain, trying to push himself onto his hands and knees, when he felt a hand on his nape, grabbing him rougly.

He made a noise between grunt and growl, his hands trying to loosen the hand on his nape. "Ich hab's dir gesagt, Erik." Shaw purred, pulling him upwards to slam him face first into the wall. Erik was sure he heard his nose crack, and he felt the blood dripping down his chin. His head was spinning.

The hand on his nape wandered upwards, gripping his hair tightly and yanking his head back. He hissed in pain, but Shaw only laughed.

He stopped struggling against the grip, instead he rammed his ellbow into Shaw's side, but that just earned him more laughter. "Oh, Erik, lernst du denn nie dazu?" He was spun around, his back pressed against the wall, Shaw grinning down at him. "Fuck you!" was all he managed to hiss. Iron wires snaked over the floor and down the walls, up to Shaw, but Shaw just hit Erik's head against the wall again, making him lose the focus. "Pass auf was du mit zu mir sagst, Junge!"

Erik grinned as spat into Shaw's face, clearly pleased with the disgusted expression on his face. "Ich sage, was ich möchte, zu wem ich möchte."

That comment made Shaw's face darken, and the next thing Erik felt was a hot pain in his cheek as Shaw slapped him. It made Erik laugh.

"Ich möchte dir nicht unnötig wehtun, Erik." Shaw let go of him, though he still stood very near to Erik. Where was the phoenix? "Komm mit mir."

"Sorry.." Erik spat "I don't understand you. Would you be so kind to speak English?" He was sick of hearing this man speak German; it reminded him too much of their older times. Shaw made a grimace between amusement and annoyance. "If that makes you join us."

"Never!"

"Nun,dann sehe ich keinen Grund dazu."

"Asshole!"

Shaw gave him an condescending smile. Erik didn't listen to the words he said, his gaze wandered to the person which approached them slowly, carefully, without making a sound.

The phoenix.

But , no, no, it wasn't the phoenix. Bright, intellegent blue eyes looked into Erik's, the colors of the suit a bright yellow and blue. Charles nodded, slowly, his finger pressed against his lips. Erik could see that he raised his arms, his hands directed at the helmet, slowly stepping towards Shaw, who was still talking to Erik, but Erik did not listen. He tried to focus on Shaw, so that Shaw wouldn't see that Erik was distracted, but it was already to late. Shaw had noticed.

Shaw spun around, pressing Erik's body into the wall as he grabbed the nearest iron rod, which was at least two meters long and two inches broad. Charles had no time to react or to use his telekinesis; Shaw made a swipe and the iron rod hit Charles' side, sending him flying over the wooden boards. He made a surprised and pained yelp, staying huddled on the floor,his hands pressed on his side.

That was when Erik saw red. No one was supposed to hurt Charles! How did he dare? As Shaw turned back to Erik, his face met the fist of Erik, making him stumble backwards. The metal in the room began to creak, the metal-piers bending dangerously as the iron wires shot up from the ground and wrapped around Shaw's body. The iron rod in Shaw's hand began to turn into liquid, dripping down to the floor and over his hand. He just laughed.

Erik turned his gaze back to Charles, and he could see the convulsions that ran through the telepath' s fragile body while he tried to stay in control,trying to handle the pain. It didn't seem to be easy. He could already see that the suit began to change its color again, but it was like a wrangle, like an on and off. They seemed to fight inside. Erik only hoped that Charles would be alright, that he would get the grip on the body again. _Stay strong, Charles! _he said via mind, hoping that Charles would be able to hear him, _you are stronger! _He couldn't help him now.

The sound of tearing could be heard, and as Erik turned his head back to Shaw, he saw that the iron wires were ripped. Hastily he raised his hands, the metal rods around him flying up into the air, as Shaw's foot collided with his stomach. Erk was thrown backwards, grunting in pain and grabbing his belly. He felt like throwing up.

He had no time to recover from the pain in his abdomen, because Shaw was already by his side and grabbed his chin forcefully. Erik could see no emotions in those cold eyes, and it made him shiver. It had always made him shiver. The grip on his chin tightened, and the sudden push of energy that ran through his body made him squirm in pain. He did not scream. He wouldn't give Shaw the satisfaction of hearing his screams.

_"The helmet, Erik! The helmet!"_ he could hear Charles voice in his head. Hah, that wasn't easy, not at all. Shaw would notice his movements, it would cause him even more pain. But he had to try..He grit his teeth, trying to get a grip on the helmet, but his hands were grabbed and the pain in his body began to grow into a steady pulse. It made gim groan, his head began to spin and he felt as if his inside began to rip open. He was used to this treatment , but still it felt as worse as it did years ago. Shaw grinned, a smug and evil grin, and Erik glared up at the man with narrowed eyes, wishing he could tear him into peaces.

"Du widersetzt dich mir also immer noch..." Shaw hissed, but was still smiling "Wie schade, ich dachte, wir könnten zusammen arbeiten.." he sighed, playing disappointed "Nun, dann habe ich keinen Gebrauch mehr für dich. Wie schade, ich wollte meine erste Kreation eigentlich behalten..." Erik felt his stomach tingle in a bad way. No use anymore?..So, he was going to kill him?_ No way_, he thought grimly to himself, _not if I kill him first!_

Shaw grabbed him by the hair again, dragging him towards the big window. Was he going to throw him out of it? Erik tried to struggle, but the grip in his hair tightened painfully and he winced, trying to lean back, his heels digging into the ground, searching for halt. It only made Shaw grin, tugging at his hair with a jerk, and Erik fell forward on his knees. His scalp did hurt and he was sure that Shaw had ripped out some strands of hair.

"Hör auf dich zu wehren! Am Ende führt es doch eh zu nichts!" Erik growled as he was dragged up again, but he froze when he saw the phoenix next to Shaw. The phoenix, not Charles. No blue eyes, no blue suit, no pureness, just darkness. He felt as if his heart and stomach turned into ice. Had Charles lost? Those eyes were cold. "Ich gebe dir noch eine einziege Chance, Erik.." Shaw said, slowly, so that Erik would understand him. How ridiculous; he wasn't listening anyway..One more chance? He had never need another one.

With a swift movement he managed to free himself out of Shaw's grasp, even if that meant that he lost some more strands of hair, but he would moan over that later. Shaw already lunged for him again, but Erik dodged to the side and grabbed an iron rod. Shaw's hand came down, breaking the iron into two, and Erik stumbled backwards, the metal in the room creaking and moaning under his powers. Every loose metal thing in the room turned itself against Shaw, but it was hopeless. In his current state, Shaw was stronger than him. He defended himself with his arms, throwing away the pieces of metal, the iron rods and metal wires. Erik pressed his lips together, taking several steps backwards, and forced the iron pillar to bend under his will. If he had to bring the ceiling down to end this, finde, if he had to destroy the whole buliding, fine! He did not care. He did not care if that meant he would end his own life as well.

"Sei nicht dumm, Erik, das funktioniert nicht!" Shaw's fist met his face, he stumbled backwards. New blood flowed down over his lips and his chin, and he was sure that his nose had been broken twice today. He stumbled over some loose wooden plates , nearly falling backwards, but Shaw grabbed him by the collar of his suit and yanked him upwards, roughly, only to throw him back over the ground. His back hit the glass window, and he could hear the crack of the glass. He didn't want to know how high the building was. His head was so dizzy, and he could taste blood in his mouth. Probably from his nose, but maybe he suffered from inner injuries. He coughed,running the back of his hand over his dry lips and smeared the blood over his hand and cheek. He tried to push himself upwards, but Shaw was already on his way towards him, and Erik knew, even if a lot of metal was in this room, he would not be able to stop the man. Maybe he could stop his own fall, but he never had been good in flying. He should have trained more. Shaw had a grin on his lips, his steps unerringly,confidently. "Oh Erik, wir haben beide gewusst, dass-" he was cut off as he was stopped by a gloved hand on his arm. The phoenix.

_"Now Erik, Now !"_ Charles. It was Charles voice! He was still there! Erik jumped up and ran towards Shaw, who turned towards the phoenix , surprise and anger in his eyes.

The metal ropes from above wrapped themselve around the helmet, yanking it off of Shaw's head, throwing it towards Erik, who caught the piece of metal with both hands. His gaze wandered from the helmet in his hands to Shaw, who stood in front of him, his arm outstreched, his eyes wide. He was not moving. Charles had his grasp on his mind. A smirk crossed Erik's lips, and suddenly everything around him didn't matter anymore. There was just him and Shaw. Him and his revenge. His right hand wandered into his left pocket, tugging out the silver coin, which he now held between his middle and index-finger,pointed at Shaw. "You see this, don't you? You know what's going on,I know you do, and believe me; I never felt this much satisfaction in my life before than now." Was there a pleading gleam in those cold eyes?

"Erik!" Charles voice was unfamiliar outside his head, sounding almost hoarse and dark. Maybe because he hadn't used it for a while. "Erik, I beg you, don't kill him!"

Erik wasn't listening anymore. He was lost in his own little world now. In his world where only he and Shaw existed. His little world of vengeance. "Your own weapon will be your doom." Erik raised his hand, his arm outstreched "We will play a little game now, shall we? I count till three, and if you are not able to move you will die, through this coin." his smirk widened, and he looked scary; blood smeared across his face, his hair loose and ruffled, his shark-like grin wide and scornful. "What a nice game."

He didn't wait for an answer. He didn't listen to Charles desperate screams inside and outside his head. He was lost. Maybe he had been lost from the start.

"Eins.." he said, slowly, and the coin moved forward, floating through the air, gleaming slightly in the dull light from outside. It was still stormy. There was a flash outside, brightening up the event. Erik was just a dark silhouette against the light from outside, while Shaw's wide eyes reflected the light of the lightnings, wide and scared; almost like a child. Charles stood in the shadows, his hand against his temple, his suit red, a contrast against the greyish-blue shades of the lightless room. He seemed to glow. He was mumbling,the only sound that was heard in this room, besides the rumbling of the thunder, but he was unheard.

"Zwei.." Another lightning, another thunder. The room was dark. It was too quiet. The coin moved forward, forward, till it was near Shaw's forhead.

Charles knew what would come next, while he saw the coin, directed towards him but still not. He was inside Shaw's head. He could see it all through his eyes. Shaw was not afraid. He almost seemed to accept it. Charles didn't want the man to die. Not because he liked him,but because it was wrong. Erik made himself to Shaw's highest win, and Shaw knew it. With his dead, he would made Erik whole, perfect. He was completly his then, because Shaw had achieved his goal; rage as means to an end. _"Erik, god, please!"_

"Drei." His voice was so calm, so steady. There was no smile on his lips anymore, just a frown. He looked so stern and old. The pain was horrible. He could feel it , the coin, through his head, ripping apart the skin, the bones, the muscles, through his brain, slowly, to slowly. White hot pain. He knew he was screaming. No one heard him. Erik wasn't there with him now. Was he crying? He could feel the tears, but the pain was to great. His defense broke. He couldn't block the phoenix' mind anymore. His mental shields broke, broke and broke until they were shattered, completly. He cried. He screamed. He gripped his head and sank to his knees. God this pain. God, this fire inside, eating him up. He didn't know where he was anymore. He didn't know who he was. Too many minds outside, to much pain here. He was lost. He couldn't feel Erik anymore, god, he couldn't feel him!

He couldn't feel himself anymore. He was lost. He was lost. Who was he , who was he? Pain, pain, becoming something else, becoming, becoming.. _"Erik.." _he sobbed, his head in his hands.

Erik blinked as the coin hit the ground, satisfied. Shaw's body sank to the ground with a thud, lifeless, dead. It was over. Erik took a deep breath and closed his eyes, his head drawn back. Over.. _"Erik.." _His eyes shot open as he heard the faint whimper inside his head. The satisfaction was blown away. "Charles!"

Charles kneeled on the ground, his head in his hands, the air around him gleaming red, like fire. God, Charles! He hurried towards Charles, but was stopped. Charles stopped him.

The color of his suit began to change again,from blue to red , from red to blue, back again, violent surges of pain ran through his body, making him shudder. He raised his head, his eyes glowing red, his nose bleeding and bleeding, his lips darker than black, his skin deathly pale. He was crying crystal clear tears. The expression on his face made Erik's heart bleed; it was full of pain, of anguish and despair. It hit him like a fist into his stomach. He had done this. He had caused this. Because of Shaw's death. And suddenly, he felt pain as well. Stinging, hot pain inside his head, a monotonous, shrill beeping in his ears; his brain felt like melting, making him scream and gasp, falling to his knees, clutching his head.

Then he heard the other men, the construction worker, who were still there; they gasped and moaned, screaming in pain. Charles would kill them. He would kill them all. God, and it was Erik's fault, because he had been so selfish. He should have listened to Charles. "Charles!" he croaked, his hands pressed against his ears, trying to ignore the pain and the beeping. It was as if he had a time-bomb inside his head, one that would explode any moment.

Charles wasn't able to see him. He looked right through him. Erik crawled on his hands and knees, grabbing the helmet, and put it on his head. The pain stopped immediately. He pushed himself up on shaky legs. Charles stood now as well, crying and bleeding and looking so lost. "Charles!" Erik said, again, walking towards Charles, but that seemed to difficult suddenly. He couldn't reach Charles.

And there he stood, in the middle of the room, pale like a ghost,looking like a fallen Angel, loose things floating around him, his hair swirling around his head like a halo. His eyelids fluttered, his lips parted slightly "Erik.." he gasped through the silent athmosphere. Not even the screams of the men could be heard anymore. "Erik.." And he seemed to remember, for a spit second, who he was, what he was, and he smiled, with tears in his eyes.

Something felt wrong.

Charles lips trembled as he spoke the next words "Erik..I am so sorry.." And Erik wanted to ask ' for what?'. He wanted to run up to him, he wanted to embrace him tightly and never let him go. Shaw was gone. They could manage it now. He and Charles. They could lock the phoenix away, somehow, Erik knew that Charles was able to do so, and then they could live together happily..

But then Charles began to run. Not towards Erik, no. He began to run towards the big window, towards the rain and the storm outside.

It was like in slow motion.

Erik couldn't move, it wasn't Charles' doing, it was the shock. He tried to reach for Charles. He tried to scream, but he couldn't. Charles turned his head, and he was crying so badly, looking so helpless but yet strong and..And then he crashed through the window.

Glas was floating through the air, floating, and Charles turned around , facing Erik, a smile on his lips. Then he fell.

The thunder roared and the lightning lit the sky.

"CHARLES!"

* * *

><p>Sorry for the long lack of update; I hate a lot to do, then I became ill, and then a slight writers block... D:<p>

Now , I left this chap open a bit,right ;D? Reviews are welcome!

See you next chap ,guys! And I luve ya all! :)


	26. Chapter 25: Phoenix

**Chapter 25**

It had been mere seconds,mere seconds that he stood there and stared at the empty space, but for him it felt like hours. His heart was beating so fast, and his breath had stopped. Then he ran, stumbled, to the broken window. He could feel the wind and the rain against his skin, could hear the thunder outside. The world was going down. "Chaaarles!" he screamed, mind and voice. He felt so desperate.

He grabbed the side of the window ,leaning outside to look down. He expected to see a crushed body on the ground below, on the asphalt, full of blood. However, it wasn't that way. There was no broken body. There was fire,a darting flame, bright red against the gray of the houses. Then there was a bird, a bird out of flames, and he could see him, Charles, in the middle of the flames. He was flying. Erik was not sure if he should be relieved or scared. He could not see much; all he could see was that Charles flew away,fast, the flames of the bird licking at the walls of the houses. He could destroy the whole city. He could burn it away. But he fled,was fleeing, away, out of the city.

He would not let him go; he could not let him go. He had to follow.

The metal bender was aware of the fact that he wouldn't be able to follow Charles, not if he used his powers to fly. He was too slowly. His gaze wandered around in the room, searching. He had to hurry.

His gaze stopped at the metal rod, or better, at the metal rod which once had been a metal rod, but now was a puddle of hard metal. He could use it, he had to use it. He would look ridiculous,standing on a metal plate and flying through the air, but it would be much faster, much easier to handle. It was not easy to guide himself through the air, back then when he wore the metal shoes, but it would be easier if he stood on something. He would be able to fly much faster, then. He had to try it. Maybe it wouldn't work, and he would end up as slow as before, or maybe he would fall off. He did not care. He had to get to Charles. He had to save him. At least this time. Because, this time it would be the last. If he failed now, he would have failed forever. He was aware of that fact, but it did not scare him, not a bit. Because, he was sure he would save Charles this time. He would do everything to save him.

And so he let the metal plate fly up to him. He stepped onto it, and looked down. He knew, he would fall far, and he could die, but he also knew that he had to do something, now, because this was his last chance; his last chance to do things right. He had to save Charles life now; he owed him this. His body ached, every cell of it, every move did hurt; but he ignored it.

Without Charles, he would have died. He wouldn't have been able to get Shaw on his own. He realized that now. Shaw would have killed him, he was sure.

He had taken a life, together with Charles, and now he had to save one.

Maybe it would settle things then.

He looked back onto the dead body of the man who had ruined his life, once more, then he took a deep breath and pushed himself over the edge. He was falling,then, on the plate, and for one moment he was sure he wouldn't survive this. He was falling,falling, rapidly, and he couldn't stop it.

But then he saw the flame, far away, and he knew that there was Charles.

He had to survive this, because of Charles. Because he owed Charles this; he owed him to save his life. Because, Charles had saved his.

And so he took all his power, all his will, and raised his hands, his palms upwards, and reached for the metal, tried to feel it. And he felt it, as if it was his own body, as if it belonged to him. And he screamed, in his mind, told the metal to bend under his will, to listen, to stop his fall, to hover in the air, to carry him.

It obeyed, carried him , over the road, till he was flying over the street, faster than he had flown the last time. It felt amazing, but he had no time to focus on this feeling. He had to focus on the metal underneath, because one false movement, and he would fall,lose his control over the piece of metal.

It didn't took him too long to see Charles again; the flames were high, bright, and conspicuous.

He used the metal on his suit to follow him. He couldn't stop him,though. All he could do was follow, follow and wait until his friend would stop, until he could get to him. The surroundings were just a blur of colors, of gray and black, sometimes a bit of green. Where were they? Not in New York City, that was for sure.. He could feel the rain against his face, and the ache in his body, the wind, cold and rough. Where were they going? He couldn't tell how long they flew. How long it took until Charles suddenly landed, more crashed down onto the ground. It was when he stopped as well, several meters away from Charles.

They were in the countryside, trees and high grass around them. There was a lake as well. The sky was high and wide. He didn't know where they were..

Charles was in the middle of the field; he was on his knees, his hands clutching the sides of his head. He was in pain. He wasn't screaming, just crying. Those tears weren't cristal clear anymore; they were thick and black like oil. His powers were beyond any control,destroying the trees and the high grass, which was on fire now,as well as some trees. The water of the lake began to flow up into the air, while the sky began to fill with black smoke. The sky was still gray. It still did rain.

He hurried towards Charles, not caring about the flames or the powers, which could easily kill him. They did not kill him though, because of one reason; he protected himslelf. He protected himself with the help of magnetic fields. He was not aware that he could summon and controll them; he did it unknowingly.

However, this magnetic fields saved his life; they managed to divert the powers of the phoenix, protecting Erik like a shield. And so he walked towards his friend, the flames not able to reach him. It was not easy to walk against the powers, which tried to destroy him, to keep him away from the other mutant. It was like walking against water. But Erik did not stop, he did not break under the pressure that the powers build against his shield and his body.

"Chaaaarles !" he screamed against the howling of the unnaturally strong wind "Chaaaarles, listen!"

Charles could not hear him. He shook his head, over and over again, his hands pressed against his ears to stop the voices inside his head. His eyes were red, just red, two holes with fire inside. He was pressing his lips together, his porcelain white face interveined with dark veins, which looked so much like deep cracks. "Chaarles!" he screamed, his hands balled into fists while he tried to walk against the force and the strong wind "Chaaarles, you are in control! This is your body! This is your mind! Calm yourself!"

But he couldn't, couldn't, couldn't hear him... He rocked back and forth , his hands grabbing his hair, his black lips opened, but not for a scream.."_Have to kill them, millions and millions, burn away what does not work, humans and their souls..."_

The wind became stronger, the water in the air raised higher, and the flames lashed out in all directions. "NOO, Charles!" the metal bender screamed, trying desperatly to reach his friend, but he only seemed to get nowhere fast. "Charles, this is not you! This is HIM! This is the phoenix speaking! You have to control it! Chaaarles, let me through to you!"

Charles raised his gaze, his shockingly soulless eyes looking up to meet Erik's. _"Burn away what does not work.." _he mumbled, rocking back and forth, back and forth "_Becoming, becoming ,becoming.."_

And the flames grew higher, higher until they seemed to reach the sky, and the smoke became thicker, thicker until the sky was gone. "CHAARLES!" Erik screamed, lashing out aginst nothing, trying to come forward, but he was so slow, so so slow, and Charles seemed so far away, getting further and further away... "Chaaarles, stop this! Calm your mind, CALM-YOUR-MIND! God damn it, Charles!"

Charles brows furrowed, and he took a deep,faltering breath "_Ahh,...hn..Erik!...I..I can see it all..The end..All life..E..Erik, I..I'm losing..losing..myself_.." and he was crying so much, and his suit was red, red, and it stayed red, it did not change back..."_Erik.." _Charles smiled, so sad and so desperate "_My friend_.."

"No, Charles, NO!" and Erik ran, ran and ran as fast as he could, against the wind, against the invisible force that tried to push him back. "Hang on, Charles! You can do it! Hang on, god damn it!"

Spasms ran through Charles' body, and he was shivering violently, and he was still smiling as he shook his head _"N..hg..No Erik, n..not..not this time."_ And that was when he stood up on shaky legs, barely able to hold himself, standing up straight "There is..just one way..to end this.."

Erik stumbled forward, catching Charles as he wanted to fly up into the air. "NO way!" he screamed against the wind, which ruffled their hair "NO WAY, Charles ! I won't let you go, I never let you go , you stupid!" But Charles was not listening, Charles was not there. Erik could feel the heath of the flames through his suit, could feel the pure power which emanated from the other mutant.."CHAARLES!" he threw them to the ground, shaking the other man "Stay with me, don't you dare to leave me!"

Charles was staring right through him, his lips forming words which were not his own. He was so pale.

"You-god-damn-hn.." Erik shook him, again and again, while Charles head lolled back and forth. He was not responding.

Suddenly Erik was thrown away, flying through the air and landed hard on the ground. He groaned as his body shivered because of the pain that ran through him.

Charles was standing now, soft, warm light radiating around im, his arms raised up to the sky, as well as his face, flames licking at his body, his hair melting with the flames behind him, becoming a tangle of snake-like flames around his head. _"Destroy what does not work!" _he screamed, his voice sounding distorted and too dark _"Burn it away, clean it, kill them all!"_

Erik winced as he pulled himself up to his feet. His shoulder did hurt a lot, and he was sure his nose was bleeding again.

It had been Shaws plan from the start, to get the phoenix like this. He had wanted him to destroy the world, so he could rebuild a new. And even now, after his death, he had received what he had wanted; total destruction, caused by the phoenix. Erik would not let this happen! Charles was no murderer, he was no killing machine which cleaned the world off of their sins and its humans to rebuild a new world. There would be no one to rebuild it. The phoenix was a god, it was a force from far away, maybe. It was wayward. Someone had to stop it. Erik knew it had to be him.

And so he ran, ignoring the pain in his body, ran towards the phoenx, who ignored him, too busy with trying to destroy the world. The air was already to hot, thick, and the flames high like skyscrapers. The trees, the grass- burning.

Erik flung himself at the phoenix, bringing him down once more. _"Stupid man!" _the phoenix hissed, pressing his hand against Erik's cheek to push him away,off of himself "_Stupid mutant, trying to stop me! Destroying, ultimative destruction, kill them all, worthless human! Don't stop me, kill you, kill you!" _Erik grabbed his wirst,pressing it down on the ground "STOP it!" he snarled, breath heavy "Leave him alone! Charles, come back, come back to me you fool! Stop this!"

The phoenix grinned, laughed and laughed, pushing Erik off of him "_You won't bring him back, never, never! You don't understand our pain, this all, stupid man !"_

And than it hit Erik; he began to understand. Maybe he needed to feel the same pain, to understand it, all of this. Maybe then he could stop it.

And so he closed his eyes, his hands grabbed the helmet, and he could feel the gaze of the phoenix on himself. He did not stop him. He did not say a word.

Maybe this what he did now was stupid. Maybe he would die. But, he had to try it. For Charles. And, for the rest of the world.

He lifted the helmet off,off of his head, with both his hands. Immediately pain hit him, and he sank to his knees, clutching the helmet in his hands tighter, as he saw it. He saw it ALL. The whole world, all thoughts, all pain and misery. People, dieing, killing another, hate, sadness, pain, so much pain. A child, raped, a man who was hitting his women, a young boy,killed on the street by the shot of a gun which wasn't meant for him. Politics, making plans, stupid plans, and war, war,war in all their heads, greedy, greedy for money, blood and fame. This world was so rotten, rotten to its very root, and there was so much hate.

It did not seem to stop. And they were in his head, screaming, crying, begging. Burn away what does not work.. This world..It did not work. Those humans had their mistakes, no one was perfect, but it caused so much pain. So much pain, and he felt it all. Charles, the phoenix, he felt and saw it all. He wanted to repair it, to clean it. To burn it away so new could be created. Like the phoenix from the ashes. But still, still, still it was wrong.

Everyone had a right to life, also the humans and mutants of this world. No matter what failures had been created, there were also good things. And , no matter how much pain he felt at the moment, Erik tried to tell, to show, him; he tried to show the phoenix that this world was meant to exist, to stay, that there had to be life on it. This was earth. And, maybe they would learn, some day, what life meant, that they had to respect the life and the earth.

Not now, though.

He stood up, swaying , walking towards the phoenix, who watched him with an contemptuous glance. He pressed his lips together, one foot in front of the other, till he was in front of the phoenix, who had his eyes narrowed.

_"You-" _he hissed _"even though you saw and felt what I did...You would die for them!" _and there was hurt and anger and..jealousy? Erik laughed, a breathless laughter, more a hiss, as he answered calmly, with a small smile "No..No,I would not die for them. I would die for you."

And the phoenix stared at him, stared , his eyes wide and his face blank, as a smile crossed his lips, a small, small smile. He leaned forward, slowly, and placed a soft kiss on Erik's lips _"Kill me." _he then begged, his voice small but with no hint of sadness or regret _"End this."_

Erik shook his head, the pain in it getting worse and worse every minute. How had Charles been able to stand this? He was so much stronger than he looked like... "My dear friend.." he said, one hand brushing against Charles cheek "I won't, and will never, kill you."

_"But,you have,.."_ Charles answered, and he knew it was Charles, because the phoenix would never beg to be killed _"I am a danger, I will kill you all, I can't, I can't, I can't..."_

He was losing it again. Erik could see it in his eyes.

"Hush, Charles." he whispered, his forehead against Charles' "Hush. Together we can. You are not alone, you know.." and he leaned back, his eyes on Charles "You were, you are, and you will never be alone. I will stay with you, no matter what." Charles looked at him, a sad expression on his face. And he looked tired, so tried of all this. Erik winced as a new level of pain began to hit his head, more and more thoughts and feeling of people he didn't know.. He raised his arms, took the helmet, and put it in Charles head.

The pain in his head stopped right away,as well as the visions, as well as the flames, which vanished abruptly. The wind calmed down, as well as the water, which sank back into the lake. Charles held his hand, the sad and pained expression on his face faded. The dark veins were still there, as well as the red eyes, which were eyes now, not just red light. The suit began to change, first it just faded into blue, then it became a white shirt and black trousers. So ,the suit had been an illusion,after all..

And now he smiled, while the black tears began to dry slowly. "They are..quiet now.." he whispered and fell forward, but Erik caught him before he could hit the ground. "Charles?" he asked, carefully, holding Charles arm length away from himself to look at Charles' face. Charles eyes were closed, his head on his chest. He did not respond. His breath was calm,maybe too calm.

He almost looked as if he was asleep.. "Charles?" he asked again, and couldn't hide his worry. "Charles? Hey? Hey, wake up!" But Charles did not answer, nor did he wake up. He stayed calm and white as a wall. Erik told himself to calm down, while he sat down together with Charles. He felt the pain in his body again, now, after all this had ended. It was over now. That was what he told himself. He held Charles in his arms, while his gaze wandered around. The field was burned, the grass just black ash. The trees looked like burned skeletons. There was still smoke in the air, but the sky could be seen again. There were no flames anymore.

And Erik silently told himself, that there would never be flames again. No phoenix, no more. He pressed Charles body tighter against his own, taking a deep breath and dropped his head back,to look at the sky.

He still could feel the phantom pain inside his head, all the voices, and he was sure, if he closed his eyes, he would still see all those people with their different lifes. He never, never, wanted Charles to feel this. He never ever wanted Charles to carry the burden of all their thoughts and all those feelings. But, for now they had to get away from here.

But,how? He was not able to carry Charles, not in his current state.. He stared at the sky, his thoughts blank, as he remembered the phone that Raven had given him. Maybe now it was for use..

He searched for it, and finally found it. It hadn't had one scratch, and Erik was sure that was because of Hank's abilities. He had no clue how to use it,nor how to call Raven. He pushed various buttons, trying and trying, till he found Raven's name on the display. Then he pushed the button with the telephone receiver on it,just by guessing, holding the phone to his ear, waiting. It began to get dark. Night was coming. How long had all this lasted?

Piep, Piep...He waited. What if Raven would not answer the call? What, if something happened to the kids?...

"Yes?" a voice asked, Raven's voice, and Erik let out the breath that he wasn't aware of he was holding "Raven.." he said, relief in his vocie "Raven,god..are you..Are you all alright?"

For a moment, there was no answer, but then she answered, her voice sounding as if she was about to cry "Yes..Yes, we are alright! Oh my god, Erik..We.,..I..Are you alright? You both? Is..Is Charles..?"

"Yes. We are alright.." his gaze went down to Charles "Shaw is dead. And Charles with me. But, we need your help. I don't know where we are,and-"

"Does not matter!" Raven almost screamed "We can find you via tracking device! You have one in your suits! Hahaha,oh my, Erik! We're coming, don't move! We..We're coming!"

She hung up and Erik put the phone on the ground next to himself and leaned forward, hugging Charles tightly "Everything will be alright.." he mumbled, suddenly tired "Everything will be fine.."

He was so tired.

He wished, he could sleep a bit.

* * *

><p>:) ya,sorry for the not so fast update; I had birthday and I was a bit lazy, well,but here it is.<br>Sooo,well, is it over now? HMMMM, we will se :)

See you all as soon as possible, and THANKS for all reviews and those who read this story :)


	27. Chapter 26:Recovery ?

**Chaper 26**

The first thing he felt as he regained consciousness was the soft mattress under him, and the blanket covering his body. He did not open his eyes, not yet, but the rays of the sun lit up the darkness behind his eyelids. His body ached all over, and his head did hurt. What had happened?

His mind felt blurry, and he opened his eyes. Where was he? He stared at the ceiling above him, and slowly his mind began to recognize that this was his room.

His room.. Weird, to call this room his own. He turned his head, and to his surprise he could see Raven. She placed a glass of water on the nightstand next to the bed. She did not notice that he was awake. He watched her movements for a while, just watching. She seemed to notice his stare now, because she turned to him, and her eyes widened a bit in surprise "Oh,Erik! You're awake." She sat down on the chair next to the bed, eyeing him carefully "How do you feel?"

He sat up against the headboard and blinked several times "I don't know." he answered, honestly "My body hurts..and so does my head." his throat felt raw as he spoke,and his voice was a bit raspy.

Raven gave him a smile "No wonder. You were pretty fucked up as we found you."

Erik furrowed his brow, and then, suddenly, he could remember what had happened. His eyes widened slightly, and his hands on the blanket tightened into fists. Charles. How was Charles? That was the first question that his mind formed. "Where is Charles?" he asked, giving Raven an urgent gaze "What happened? You found us, but I can't remeber how.." he trailed off.

"Calm down,Erik." Raven sighed, reaching for the glass of water to hand it Erik, who took it thankfully. "You were asleep for two days now." Erik raised one eyebrow as he continued to drink the water, his eyes still on Raven as if to say, speak further. "We found you both far away from New York, at least about tree hours away. You've been asleep, I think you've passed out. No wonder, you had some serious injuries, your shoulder, for example. Or, your head. You have a concussion. And your nose was broken twice..But, Hank will tell you more about this topic. " she waved off, smiling slighty, but her eyes looked ..sad. "We brought you both back home. And,well, here you are."

Erik placed the glass back on the nightstand and leaned back "And? " he asked, his eyes boring into Raven's, who seemed unconfortable "What about Charles? And, what about the humans? Is there..no war?"

Raven sighed, shaking her head as she wrung her blue hands "No. No war. They were smart enough not to cross the line. We were there, you know. But..they settled things on their own." she laughed softly "I never thought this would..could end good."

"What about the others? About the mutants who were with Shaw. Weren't they there?" Raven shook her head, again "No. No,we were the only ones."

So,it seemed that Shaw had been sure about his plan. Or,maybe his followers weren't that loyal as he had believed..

Erik furrowed his brow, his head began to hurt again, but he leaned forward again, grabbing one of Raven's hands, who flinched slightly, not prepared for this movement "Raven." his voice was low "Now, won't you tell me what's with Charles?" He had to know if he was alright, he just had to know..

He had a bad feeling; something was not alright. Else she would tell him. Else she wouldn't look so stern and sad. Her eyes were somewhere on the ground now, she sighed, her feet nervously rubbing over the wooden floor "He is in a bad shape. Nothing new yet." she bit her lower lip "I don't know much. Hank knows the important facts. I just know that he is not a bit better than he has been two days before."

Erik felt something in his stomach clench, and he leaned against the headboard again, staring at Raven, who's gaze was still directed at her lap.

"What do you mean by ' not better than before' ?"

Raven looked up, and he could clearly see that sadness in her eyes. "Hank said he probably..That he probably is in a ..kind of coma." And again, Erik felt something in his stomach clench, and his heart felt heavy.

Gosh.

That was bad.

Immediately he pushed his legs over the edge of the bed, his head spinning because of the sudden movement. "Erik!" Raven squeaked "Please lie down! You're not recovered and-"

He did not listen to her as he pushed himself up onto his feet. He felt slightly dizzy, swaying a bit, while his head began to hurt like hell. He felt sick.

"Erik!" Raven stood up and grabbed his arm, so that he wouldn't fall down "You idiot! You have a concussion, sudden movements will cause you pain!" He freed his arm, noticing that he didn't wore the suit anymore; instead he wore one of his pyjama pants and a simple shirt. He was not in the mood to ask why. "No,Raven, let me go! I have to get to him,I-"

"And,what will you do?" she nearly screamed now "You are injured yourself! And not even Hank can help him, so what do you want to do? Stare at him and tell him you love him, and then hope he will wake up to give you a kiss and everything is alright?" She was frightened, scared about her brother's condition.

He did not blame her for her outburst of emotions, but he had to admit; he was taken aback. Didn't she understand? He had to see him, just to see him. It would calm him down, seeing his face... To see that he was still alive. Alive, but in a coma.

"I have to see him, Raven." he answered, his voice calm and steady, so much more steadier than he felt right now. "Please, I.." he could find no words. He was suddenly so afraid to lose Charles forever. Damn, he was in a coma! He had thought it would be over now, that everything would be okay, not perfect, but okay. Of course he had expected him to be a bit worn out, maybe injured, but not in a fucking coma! What if he would never wake up again...? He would never forgive himself because, yes, it was his fault. Because Charles had had to help him with Shaw. Because he had been so damn fixed on killing Shaw. He had not cared about Charles' mental state. He had just cared about his own goals.

And now, after he had achieved what he had longed for, now after he had had his revenge, now he was alone again. Now he had lost someone that he loved ,again,probably, maybe... It made him sick, so damn sick. And even if, even if Charles would wake up, even then he could not tell if it was 'his' Charles, or the phoenix, or someone else.

Raven eyed him with yellow, knowing eyes. Maybe she could imagine what was going on in his mind, maybe she just saw the pained expression on his face, which had nothing to do with the pain in his head or in his shoulder. Maybe she just knew.

"Alright." she almost whispered "But, we won't be able to stay long. Hank will kill me if you stay out of bed to for too long. You are supposed to rest." Erik gave her a nod, a thankfull nod, then they both went out of the room.

He still felt dizzy, and every movement he made just made it worse, but he had to see him; he had to see Charles. And so they went on, down the stair, almost painfully slowly. He was aware that he grabbed the banister a bit to tight, his knuckles were white, but he did not care. He was sure Raven noticed. She did not say a word. He was very thankfully for that. Somehow he really didn't feel like talking.

They did not go to Charles room, instead they went down to the lab. This alone made him feel even more sick. It would be more bearable to see the other man in a normal bed, in his own room, and not on a laboratory bench down in the white, sterile lab. It reminded Erik so much of a hospital. They stopped in front of the lab door, and Erik felt his throat go dry, and he felt nervous. A part of him wanted to burst into the room to see Charles, the other part of him wanted to turn around and hide somewhere.

"I will wait here." Raven told him "I think you..might want some time with him alone." Erik nodded, not looking at her but at the door. He took a deep breath, his head still spinning, as he opened the door slowly.

The lab looked tidied up. Hank had done his job. His eyes wandered over the new shelves over the big table full of notes, and then to the small steel bed in the corner of the room, and also new machines. He silently asked himself where Hank had gotten them from. His heart went a beat faster. Since when did they had steel beds in here? He slowly walked up to the bed, and the door behind him closed with a soft click. He almost did not dare to breath as he sat down on a chair next to the bed. Someone seemed to sit here a lot. Maybe Hank and Raven. If Sean was here often? Or Alex?

He stared down at the pale face,folding his hands in his lap. Charles was as pale as he had been the last time Erik had seen him. Dark shadows were under his eyes, and his usually so red lips were pale, almost grey. His breath was evenly but soundless, the beeping of different machines drowning out the small sound. He looked fragile, small, like a sick person in a hospital bed, those ones were you are not sure if they would make it or not. The helmet was still on his head, but under the helmet he could see wires, which lead to his telmples, and some others which were fastened at his chest, under his shirt. Erik's gaze wandered over the drip to the different machines and back to Charles' sickly pale face. He wished he would wake up. He wished, he could do something to help him. The metal-bender swallowed hard, then he took one of Charles' hands, which was smaller than his, but had long and elegant fingers. Maybe that was why he was so good in playing the piano.

He was so cold, as if he was already dead. Erik leaned his ellbows on his knees, his head bowed while his hands clasped Charles' hand. He cried silently. Not much, just a few tears. He couldn't stop the tears from falling, but he would not burst into tears and cry like a crybaby. He had to be strong now, crying would help no one, but a few tears were okay. He had feelings after all, he was not an emotionless rock. Even he had to cry when he was sad.

He wished, he could help him.

He felt stupid. And alone. He was not sure if Charles was even able to hear him, but he believed it. It made this all much more bearable. "I am really sorry, Charles." he whispered.

"I am really, really sorry."

...

It was dark. Everything, everywhere, around him. He stood there, in the darkness, which crept around him. He stood in it, in the darkness, ankle-deep.

He was alone. He knew where he was; this was his mind. Or better, what was left of it. He could feel cold wind, but it was quiet. It never, never had been so quiet in his head. His gaze wandered around, searching. He could see them, the splinters of his shattered shields. Broken in to tiny, small pieces, made out of glass which looked like it was reflecting a rainbow. He walked up to the pieces, through the darkness around his feet, and took one of the splinter. He could see his reflection, pale and surreal. His hand in front of his face seemed too small in the open space of his mind.

The splinter was sharp, small. He looked at it, for a long time. He was not sure what to do. His mental-shields were broken to the last bit, his mind was open and vulnerable to the outside. He was broken. He realized that now. He let the piece fall back down. It made no sound; the darkness seemed to swallow any sound.

Then he began to walk. He walked around in his mind, or what was left of it. Only the emptyness was left. His whole mind seemed to have broken down.

He couldn't remember the first time he had met Raven. He couldn't remember the face of his mother. There was just a whirl of colors and a blurr of faces and thoughts, feelings , inside of him. He continued walking, though he had no clue where to go. How long was he here?

The time went by, and he just walked, and walked, and walked, his bare feet in the darkness. He himself seemed the only light in the darkness. He was not afraid. This was his mind. But, was it? Was it truly his mind? Or, was he someone else? Who was he? He couldn't remember. Too many faces, too many names inside of him. He could not tell which one was his. It was because of the broken shields. He found it, then; the light. He wasn't sure if he had searched for it, but there was alight. A fire. He walked towards it. He noticed now, it was a bird; a phoenix.

He stopped in front of it, and the fire bird looked down on him, then it shrank,shrank until it had the same hight as him. It changed his appearance, became a human. He knew it was him, then. Himself out of fire. He looked at his mirror image, and it looked back at him. "Who are you?" he asked, but the fire just asked back _"Who are you?"_

He didn't know. He had no clue who he was.

He reached for it, and it reached for him as well, their hands touching. He winced in pain as the hot flames touched his skin, and he took his hand back,as well as the fire did. "You don't belong here.." he mumbled, but his fire-self just stared at him. "You are not me."

The fire, it laughed, and became higher and higher, until it was everywhere around him. _"I am you." _it purred, hands of fire touching his skin, not burning him, but making him feel unconfortable. _"I am you,I am you,I am you..." _it repeated,again and again, and he began to press his hands against his ears. No, he didn't want to hear that. He could remember that voice, it only brought pain_.."I am you,I am you..."_ he couldn't resist any longer. His lips formed the words that the fire spoke, _I am you, I am you_, and he could feel the fire wrapping itself around him, then reaching for something within him, and then it began to flow into him, like a kind of energy into a vessel.

But, no! He squirmed in pain; the fire beginning to eat its way into his inside, to burn his inside. No,he was no vessel, no,nono, this was his soul! The phoenix could take over his mind, could be the parasite in the back of his head, but it would never, never be his soul! It would not take over the only thing that was truly his.

_"Don't fight this!"_ the phoenix snarled _"Don't fight this, you know I've won already! I've won from the start, from the first time you've touched me with cerebro! You can't flee and hide now, never! You were the one who invited me!"_

The pain was great, and the fire hot inside him. It would extinguish him, his soul, the last bit that had remained of him. Then he wouldn't be dead; he simply wouldn't exist anymore. "NO!" he screamed against the crackling of the flames "NO!" He would not give up, this was his mind, his body, HIS SOUL! He closed his eyes, closed them and began to look inside himself;inside his soul.

There was chaos inside of him, a blurr of memories, faces and feelings. Which was his own face? Who was he? And he searched, searched, while he saw the flames in the whirl of his memoirs, the fire that began to eat up all his being, his memoirs, his thoughts, his name and his face. He had to hurry. He had to remember!

And there were voices. Different voices, many voices, and different faces, talking to him, but it was sounding like a murmuring; he could not understand a word. And so he focused, trying to ignore the hot white pain, the fire inside him, he began to search,deeper and deeper. Memoirs ran through his hands like sand, like dust, and it was so hard to listen to all those different voices, to make out a real face that he knew under all those blurred colors around him.

He was lost. Lost inside himself. He tried harder, and harder, to grasp a memoirs, a thought, a face he knew, someone who would remind him of himself, of his own name and who he was, but it was so difficult,so difficult..

But then he heard it, a voice, small and almost a whisper against the storm of voices "..les..Charles..Charles.." He furrowed his brow, trying to remember, remember, until his eyes widened wide.

"Charles.." he said out loud, and it was sounding weird to his own ears "Charles Xavier..My name..My name is Charles Francis Xavier.." And slowly he began to remember; he began to remember who he was.

With a gasp he emerged from the flow of thoughts, and he was back in the black emptyness of his mind, around him the flames of the phoenix. "I AM CHARLES FRANCIS XAVIER!" he screamed against the high flames around him "I AM A MUTANT! YOU DON'T BELONG TO ME! YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!"

The flames seemed to laugh at him, lashing out at him, winding themselves around him and trying to break his last defense,trying to break his soul. And it was so hard to withstand, it was so hard not to give in,to break under the pressure. But he-would-not-break! He had to hold on, for his friends, for his sister, for Erik, and finally for himself, and maybe even for the rest of the world.

He knew, if he would give in now, it would be over. The phoenix would be free of his chains, he would use his body to destroy. But, that was not what Charles wanted. He wanted peace. Maybe the phoenix wanted peace as well, but another kind of peace. Maybe their visions and views were different. He knew, he was losing it. He was not strong enough to hold on against a god-like power. Yes, maybe that was true. But, this was ,after all,his body, and his mind. He was the god of his own mind. He could decide what could happen.

He just had to use his powers.

And so he opened his eyes, wide, staring into the faceless flames while his being began to gather strenght. His mind,his rules, his powers.

Walls. He needed walls to defend himself, to lock the phoenix way. He needed prison bars, to lock the phoenix behind this prison bars, then he needed walls, to create a room.

Blue light began to glow around him, throwing itself over the flames, pressing them together and away from him. The flames tried to lash out, to hit him, to pierce through him, to rip him apart, but he just stared at the flames, his pure willpower holding the defense and the veil of blue light upright. The phoenix tried to fight back, to rear up against the energie which was holding it back, and Charles gritted his teeth together and balled his hands into fists.

It was a silent fight. It took almost an eternity until the flammes were somewhat tamed.

Charles pressed his hands together, focusing on the emptyness around himself. "This is a room..", he told himself,".. a room in my mind, an endless room, and the phoenix trapped behind prison bars, endless prison bars, which lead into nothingness. This is a room, an endless room..." He repeated this sentences ,over and over,until his own mind began to believe him; his subconscious began to build prison bars, which began and ended into nothingness, while slowly walls began to raise up behind and in front of him, behind the bars.

The phoenix snarled,angry, trying to fight against his powers. "This bars are strong,unbreakable. No one can go through it. This bars are strong, unbreakable.." The bars began to glow in soft, blue light, the iron rods began to thicken and raise up into the endlessness of the room. The blue vail over the flames began to vanish slowly, and immediately the flames tried to grasp him, but they came not far; with a loud hiss they were thrown back.

"_Stupid you!"_ the phoenix snarled, but it almost sounded like a desperate, outraged sob. "_You cannot keep me here forever! I will break free, and then I will annihilate everything! I will eat your soul and take this body! You are not safe from me!"_

Charles just looked at the bird of flames, who changed his form into his body, then back into a bird, back into pure flames. He was angry, Charles could feel that. But there was no harm to be feared. Not as long as the phoenix was behind this bars. He turned around to the door, his hand on the handle, as the phoenix roared up once more "_You can't leave me here! I will always be there, and some day I will break free! I will break free!" _Charles smiled, a cool smile, and did not turn around as he answered "I know. "

Oh yes, he knew that he couldn't keep the phoenix here forever, that,someday, he wouldn't be strong enough anymore to keep him away, and then he knew what would have to be done; he knew, some day, someone had to kill him.

It was a simple fact, but he was not afraid, nor angry.

It was the way it was, he couldn't change it anymore. He could just try to live a life that was worth to be lived. He could make the best out of the situation. Why cry, when so much was left to be done? He had no clue how much time he had left, he had no clue when the phoenix would break free. Maybe five years, maybe ten, maybe just some month. He did not care. He had friends out there, which would help him, and which would do what had to be done. Some day. Not now. Because now was the present, not the future, and not the past.

It was the way it was, and it was okay.

He could live with that fact.

_"You are navie!" _the phoenix screamed as he opened the door _"You are too naive!"_ He closed his eyes and a small smile crossed his lips. "I know." he simply answered, because it was true.

Yes, he was naive; a naive, young professor who believed in peace and happy endings, who tried to look at the bright side of life and who tried to make the best out of everything, even if it was the fact that he would probably die sooner than he had wished for. He was not someone who lost himself in the darkness of depression.

It is easy to give up, but much more harder to keep on going.

And, he was no one who gave up so easily.

He closed the door behind himself, not turning around as he began to walk. "No one can open this door, no one can open this door, this door will be closed, no one can open this door.." He walked up the stairs, which had built up in front of him. He closed the second door behind himself, and stood in a room full of doors. He just kept on walking,until he stood in the darkness again, in the splinters of his shields.

His memoirs were still messed up, his mind still shattered and his shields destroyed until the last bit. He had to build up his shields again, even if they would never be as strong as before, and he had to put his memoirs in order.

He began to pick up on of the splinters. He began to build up his shield, piece by piece. This would take a lot of time.

The door in the back of his mind was soon forgotten.

Yes,that would definitely take a long time.

...

* * *

><p>Hoho,here you go.<p>

Well, we are near the end, my friends. But you'll see, you'll see :)  
>Thanks for the reviews; they always make my day :)<p>

I love ya all, and see you soon :)


	28. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Hours became days. Days became weeks...

It was weird, how fast the time could pass, even if nothing important seemed to happen. Maybe it was because of the fear. Maybe he just payed no attention to it anymore. His own pain healed, his wounds became scars, but that was okay. He had a lot of scars. One or two more, who cared? His concussion became better, even if Hank meant it should have healed faster than it actually did. It was probably because he was out of his bed most of the time. He always sat next to Charles. Raven was worried, not only about Charles but also about him. You should eat, she had said, and please try to sleep properly.

She didn't understand. No one did.

He felt like vomiting every time he saw food, and if he tried to sleep he saw Charles pale face in front of his closed eyes. It kept on and on, his worry about Charles.

It was the love, he realized that once more; he loved Charles, and he couldn't stand the thought that he would never awake again, or never be the same again.

He would wait, as long as he had to wait,until Charles would wake up again. Yes,he was stubborn, but he wouldn't leave his side. And so he sat there, every day, as long as Raven came in to take him upstairs, to eat something and then to go to bed. He would sit there every hour, if Raven wouldn't watch over him. In the end, he was glad she had an eye over him. He was sure he would have starved already if she wouldn't be there to remind him of his bodily needs,such as sleep and food.

"You know," Hank said one time " it might be that he will never be the same again."

But Erik kept quiet, stubborn and quiet, because he refused to believe that Charles could ever be someone else than the warm-hearted telepath he was. He knew that Hank was right, because he had seen it with his own eyes, but still , still he hoped for a happy end..

And the days went by..

Charles face was too pale, and every day Erik came into the lab and stared at his utterly pale face. Sometimes he talked to him. He wasn't sure if Charles could hear him, but it made him feel better, giving him the feeling that Charles listened to him, as if he was actually there... But, he was just quiet. Quiet, and pale, and unresponsive. Yes, as if he was dead.

Erik missed the feeling of Charles mind, which had been always present if Charles was around him. Just a slight touch, a whisper of a mind in the back of his head. It was more a feeling, a warm feeling. These times he had never felt alone. And now he felt alone, utterly alone, and it nearly made him laugh out dryly. He had always told Charles that his mind was his own, that he didn't want the telepath to sneak around inside his head, but of course Charles had been there, always, to watch over him. He had gotten so used to this feeling, and now he was alone again. Alone inside his own head.

And even now, even if Charles was there, in front of him, even if he could touch him, even then..yes, even then he was alone, because Charles was not with them. Charles was somewhere else, lost in his own mind.

It was one question that made Erik's heart clench in pain, that made him more afraid than he had ever thought was possible.

"What will you do?" Raven asked one day, as they sat in the lab, their gazes on the deathly pale man in front of them, her voice serious "What will you do, if it is not Charles who comes back to us..?"

He had no answer to this question. He could not tell what he would do. Yes, what would he do, if it was not Charles? Would he be able to do what he had to do, what they had to do? Would he kill the man he loved, to save the world? Would he be able to do that? Or would he still cling to his hope of a happy ending?

He only grabbed Charles hand tighter, his lips a small line as he answered "I don't know."

It was a long time of silence, until Raven answered "Me neither." And an even longer time until she said, with a whisper "But I know what he would want us to do."

It was a unspoken sentence which lingered in the room, and the athmosphere seemed so tense. Yes, they probably all knew what was to do then, but Erik hadn't had the heart to admit it. He couldn't, because he didn't want to.

It was a pain, to see him, every day, unresponsive and fragile.

He held his hand, and all that changed was the weather outside the window and the clothes he wore. Charles stayed the same, all days long. Not even the beeping of the machines changes. It was like a endless nightmare. Sometimes you realize what you have when you're about to lose it. Erik always thought that this was a stupid theory, but now he could understand.

It was as if he was in a hole, trying to get out of his depression-like state, trying to see things positiv, to give the others hope and strengh,but he couldn't. They were just teenager, and they acted more like adults than he did. He felt so stupid, but he couldn't help himself.

He felt as if he would betray Charles when he left his side, as if he had to be there next to him, had to watch over him. As if this was his fate, to watch over his comatose friend,love, forever and ever. Maybe this was his fate? Maybe, because of what he had done? Maybe that was the way he should suffer?

God, his mind went crazy.

But, he had to went on. He couldn't stay here forever, next to Charles side, because he had an own life. He had to take care of the children, because they might act like adults, but they were still children. They needed someone who was watching over them, who was the adult. They shouldn't end like he once did; alone.

Not because of him. Not because he was too selfish, blaming himself, lost in self-pity and worry about Charles. He could do nothing for him, even if he wished he could. He had done what he had done, and he could not turn back the time, even if he wished he could. He had to keep on living, not only for himself, but also for the others. Also for Charles. He knew that Charles would wanted him to.

But he would be there when Charles would wake up. He still was there every night before he went to bed, and every morning before he went upstairs. He would talk to Charles, every day, and there was always something new to tell him. Even if it was just a stupid struggle between Sean and Alex, or Raven's new shoes.

He would touch his cheek, would whisper his worries and his love into his ear, would hold his hand and would give him a breath of a kiss for the night. And sometimes, ..well,sometimes he wept. Just a tear or two, but he couldn't hold them back. It hurt too much, the sight of his comatose love.. But still, still he kept on going down to see him. Because, even if it did hurt to see him, it also made it better. It was a weird combination.

He assumed, it was the hope. The hope, and his love to Charles. He could not live without him, and he had to see him, even if it was only an unresponsive body that he was visiting every day, and not his talkative, smiling boyfriend.

And every day there was the small gleam of hope; the hope that Charles would open his eyes, which would be a bright, brilliant blue, and that everything would be alright again. It would never be like this, and Erik knew it, he just knew it, but he could not stop himself from hoping. He was powerless against his feelings. But, he came to the conclusion that he had to accept them, because, without them he would just be a weapon. But with his feelings, and with Charles, he was a man. Charles had opened his eyes,had made him realize that he was more than just a body with powers. He thanked Charles for that. He thanked Charles for a lot of things. But he had never said it out loud. He had always thought that Charles, as a telepath, would know his feeling and thoughts anyway. But now he hated himself for never saying a thankful word for the things that Charles had done.

He had been arrogant and selfish back then. Now he wished he hadn't been. Of course, it had brought him to his goal, he had achived what he had wanted, and a high pressur of vengeance had been taken away from his heart, but only to be replaced by the worry about his friend, about his love.

He had thought this all would work differently. He had thought, he would not care about anyone, that he would stay the loner he was, but it had been so different. He had never thought he would care for someone else than himself again. He had never thought he would fall in love with the man who had saved him from drowning.

He often thought back, wondering what would have happened if things would have been different. He wondered what would have happened if he had never met Charles. He wondered what would have happened if he had never fallen in love with him. He wondered how things would have happened if the phoenix had never been there. He wondered about a lot of things, but they were unchangeable anyway.

In the end, he could tell that he was glad to have met Charles, and he did not regret being in love with him.

The telepath had changed his life. He was glad for that change, because, without that change, he would be a different man now.

Days became weeks. Weeks became a month. And the time went on and on...

It was cold outside, the autumn began to turn towards the winter, the trees were leaveless, the sky grayish. It was early in the morning as Erik went down to the lab again.

He closed the steel-door carefully behind himself, then he went to the bed and sat down on the chair. The had gotten used to the annoying beeping of the machines and the garish light of the lab. He simply ignored it.

"Hello, Charles." he said, his voice calm and low. Charles did not answer, as expected, but Erik had gotten used to that as well. "It awfully cold today. You should see Sean. He wears more clothes than I have in my closet." he smiled, even if Charles could not see his smile. Maybe he felt it. He took Charles' hand in his gloved one. "The heating is broken. Hank and I have to repair it today. "Normally he would never talk about such worthless things as repairing the heating with Hank, or the clothes of Sean, but this were different conditions now.

He kept on talking, for half an hour at least, then he stood up, his gaze on the fragile body on the bed. He had grown thinner, probably because he could eat no real food, but probably also because of the things that were going on in his mind. Erik was sure, what ever it was , it had to be strength-sapping. It just made him sick to see Charles like this. He didn't deserve to look so broken. Erik really missed the sight of a healthy Charles, and he always tried to remember how he had looked like before all this had happened, but with every day it became harder and harder to remember this cheerful face..

Charles still wore the helmet. To be sure.., Hank had said a week ago, because we don't know if his shields are broken. We don't know what could happen if we remove the helmet yet.

Yes, they did not know..

"I have to go now, Charles." he said, his voice polite but with a hint of grieve "But I will be back in the evening. Hank will make another check up, to see how you are. Let's just hope you got a bit better." he raised his hand, hesitating for a moment, then he stroke over Charles' pale cheek "I miss you,you know." he whispered, even if he didn't had to.

"God, I miss you. Please come back to us, Charles. I can't stand the silence in my had anymore. " he laughed softly at the irony of his own words "I always told you to stay out of my head..And now there is nothing that I want more than your present in the back of my mind,and all the annoying background noises you project.. Weird, how things can change.." His hand trailed down, till it was lying on Charles' collarbone. He could feel the hardness of the bone under the skin, even through his gloves. "Please come back. We need you...I need you. So,please Charles, wake up. I think I'm going insane..."

He waited, several minutes, but Charles kept quiet and the machines hummed. Nothing had changed. And, Erik feared, nothing would ever change.

He had always been someone who tended to see the bad. Some might call him a pessimist, but for him it was the only way to look on things. It was reality. It was better to take a closer look at the bad side, to be prepared for the bad, than to pretend the good was everywhere. Charles had been the opposite of him; an optimist in every that was why they fit together so well; because they were like ying and yang, always saving the other from drowning in the own way of looking at things...

Now that Charles was not there to safe him from his too pessimistic point of view Erik was drowning again..

"Don't get lost on your way back, lab rat." he whispered and left the room.

It was the next day, in the morning as he was on his way down to the lab, as he stumbled over a stair, surprised by a soft whisper over his mind. It was nothing more than a breath, like the ghost of a word, but he had felt it. He knew it had been Charles' mind.

Hank had removed the helmet, because he had been sure that there was no harm to be feared anymore. Why he said so, Erik couldn't tell. It had to be because of the records of the machines. Erik had not asked any further questions, because he was no medical expert and would probably understand nothing anyway. The only thing that always mattered to him was Charles condition, but Hank had just told him that nothing had changed, what caused Erik to feel left alone in his sorrow once more. But now that had changed..

He almost ran to the lab, nervous and full of hope, as he pushed the door open and walked to Charles side. What he saw was the helmet was on the small nightstand next to the bed now, in case that they needed it again and Charles pale face. Nothing had changed at all. The beeping of the machines was a soft hum and he dropped down on the chair, all his hope vanished. Of course..It had been stupid to hope that he was fine again.. He rubbed his forhead, his ellbows on his knees and his head lowered.

"Oh Charles.." he mumbled, his hand running through the telepaths soft, brown strands of hair. Then suddenly, he felt it again; the soft whisper over his mind, soft like a feder. It were no words, at least he could hear none; it was just the small presence of a fragile mind. He grabbed Charles hand, staring at him, but still there was no change. His heart skipped a beat, then it began to hammer in his chest. He was sure that he had felt Charles' mind! Charles was still unresponsive to the outside world, but his mind slowly began to come back to them. God, Erik was so glad; he grinned like a fool, squeezing Charles' hand tighter.

"You need time, don't you?" Erik asked, his eyes on the pale face "You need your time to find your way back to us." He got no answer, but he knew he was right. He was on the way back to them, finally. Finally..

And there it was again, the gleam of hope that had nealry vanished.

Suddenly he started to believe it, that Charles would come back. 'Their' Charles. There was no other option, not for Erik.

_Don't worry, _he thought with a smile,leaning his forehead against Charles'_, _his eyes closed, feeling much better than he ever had in the last few weeks, _take your time._

And he knew that Charles could hear him,

_We will wait._

* * *

><p>Oh my,yes, my friend, this is the end of this storry (and yes, I kept the ending open, so it can be seen as good end,I guess :) ) <strong>BUT<strong>;

I have a **sequel** in mind ( and at least two other stories about them xD_!) _SOOO, if you like a sequel, I will do one :)  
><span>You can tell me via review if you like on, but I also made a poll<span> (can be found on my side) for you to chose what I shall (should) do next.

I **thank you** all for reading this story! I had so much fun, and I hope you liked the story :)  
>So,guys..This won't be a goodbye, because you WILL hear from me again (You won't get rid of me so easily ;D )<p>

So, see you,someday, with a new story of our favourite mutants :)_  
><em>


	29. AN:Sequel

Hi Guys!

So, some of you wanted a sequel, and now I am here to tell you that I've made one :) !

If you want to take a look at it you can find it on my page, it is called 'It Will Not End'.

So,have a nice time, and I hope to see you again, somewhere, with another story.

Greetings, Orangneto ;)


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